It's Sorcerery Time!

I died. Like an idiot. Why an idiot, why you may ask? Because only a complete dumbass wouldn’t remember how they died. One second, I’m vibing to my favorite Avicii album, noodles in hand, and the next—boom. I’m in a tatami-floored Japanese room with a bombshell maid-secretary hybrid smiling at me like I ordered the afterlife deluxe package. No truck. No dramatic monologue. Just me going Blank...like when you nut too many times and the light started going out in your eyes. Anyway, the idiot part isn’t the point. The point is—I got Isekai’d. Yeah, yeah, I know. “That only happens in fiction, bro.” Well guess what? Fiction called, and it wants its chaos back. I landed in a kind of batshit world, not warhammer batshit...but still batshit bathsit, where cursed spirits eat people, aliens abduct teenagers to take their dicks, and everyone’s casually throwing hands like they’re in a Dragon Ball audition. Let me give you the quick breakdown: A blindfolded menace with god complex energy. A smug emo with hands in pockets. Thick thighs saves lives with sexy glasses. Miss please groom me. Also there was a guy with eyebags darker than my future who’s... suspiciously into little girls. I mean bruh control... Honestly? I thought this was hell—until I met the hotties. Still, I would’ve rage-quit day one if I didn’t get a System. Yup. Cheat powers, flashy interface, occasional sarcasm. Anyway, let's get to point, wait what was the point exactly? I don’t even know why I’m saying all this. It’s not like anyone’s listening. Or maybe... some fourth-dimensional gods is watching me. Maybe they threw me a stone if they like m— [Error][Error][Error] Fourth Wall Breach Detected Protagonist has crashed. Rebooting main character…