"What is so funny, Ino?" Ren asked when Ino walked into the training ground, snickering and giggling to herself so much that she barely walked straight.
It was an unusual sight for the usually composed blonde.
Ino looked at Ren with a massive grin, "I've met Sasuk-, ahem, sorry, I mean Sasugai Uchiha as I walked through the village."
"What?" Ren asked confusedly, unaware of what was going on with Sasuke. He was far too preoccupied with experimenting to pay attention to what happened in the village yesterday and today.
Ino walked toward him and giggled a bit at his confused expression. She leaned forward and pecked him on the lips before giving him an amused smile, "Sasuke is running around the village in green spandex and sporting a dashing bowl-cut hairdo alongside two other weirdos screaming about the springtime of youth."
Ren blinked. "Already? That was quick." He expected Sasuke to take a few days to... acclimate to Gai's antics. But apparently, there was much more to the boy than even Ren noticed. The Uchihas were adaptable. Who knew?
Ino hummed in agreement, and her hands found their place, embracing Ren around his waist. She leaned her entire body on his chest, putting her head on his shoulder with a fond sigh and nuzzling her nose into his neck.
"You must teach me how to screw with somebody's head like that, Ren." She said with a small pleading whine. "Please?"
Ren's lips twitched up when he felt her hand slide 'subtly' toward his rear. He returned the gesture and gently but firmly took a handful of Ino's posterior too, making her giggle and slightly wiggle her butt into his touch.
"Honestly? No idea. I just winged it." He truthfully told the blonde, who pouted at that answer.
"I understand what you mean. Sakura was almost catatonic, wailing like a child in the middle of the street after seeing Sasuuu-gai." She mirthfully proclaimed. "So, I tried to channel you and told her she might spend time with him if she joined his training. No idea if it worked because she only gained this mad gleam in her eyes before running off."
'Oh, no way.' Ren's eyes widened. 'I wonder if we will have Sakugai join Sasugai in the future. Oh, Kakashi, you dick. You are so very welcome.' He inwardly cackled. 'Now, I just need to find a way to persuade the Hokage to still put Sakura on Kakashi's team if she gets corrupted by the springtime of youth.'
Ren leaned slightly away from Ino and looked her in the eyes, "Ino... You marvelously devious girl. I am so very proud of you!" He loudly praised her.
"Eh?" Ino tilted her head, but she still preened at the praise. Before she could react more, she was pleasantly surprised as Ren hungrily claimed her lips.
When Hinata got to the training grounds, Ino and Ren's clothes were crumpled, and their hair was messy. Ren also sported several hickeys on the left side of his neck. Marking her territory, Ino called it.
He could only exasperatedly roll his eyes at the blonde girl.
He was a bit sullen that he couldn't do the same to her, but he didn't want to have Inoichi chasing him with a roll of newspaper throughout the whole village, screaming at him threats of copious mental harm.
The man may look innocently harmless, but he was pretty much a male version of Anko, focused on mental pain rather than physical. There were stories of how the man managed to make jonins cry for their mommies.
The thought that this man might be his future father-in-law made Ren shudder a bit.
But... he looked at the happily grinning Ino whose hands were still lustfully roaming his chest in wonder. She was so worth it.
"So, what are we going to do today?" Hinata asked as she took off her jacket and approached the hugging duo, inwardly smirking when she noticed how Ren's eyes were subconsciously dragged to her cleavage.
These days, she purposefully wore a loose-fitting long-sleeved levander top with generous cleavage. She couldn't let the bimbo hog all his attention, now, could she?
"Let's just relax," Ino whined while shuffling her body from the center of Ren's chest more to the left side to make room for Hinata on his right side. She felt far too good to train today. "We can get all grabby-grabby and kissy-kissy and have a great time together." She smiled, suddenly leaning forward and kissing Hinata's cheek while taking her hand into hers. "Tell him, bitch!"
"Sounds nice, bimbo." Hinata smiled back and rolled her eyes as she squeezed Ino's hand. They both expectantly turned toward Ren, who just sighed.
He wanted their help with testing his new seals today, but having two sets of puppy dog eyes turned on him was surprisingly effective in making him cave in.
"You know what? Alright." He helplessly shook his head. "But tomorrow, you will return the favor and help me with my training for a change."
"Oh, do we get to beat you up?" Ino excitedly asked and then yelped as Ren flicked her on the forehead.
"Nope. I'll need only your shadow clones. My new exploding seals are far too dangerous to use in a spar against real people."
The village wanted to call him 'the bomber'? Ren hated it. But sure. He decided to go with it.
At first, it was just an idea. 'I hope he shuts up, or I am going to show him a bomber. I'll pull Bakuda on his ass!' He thought as Sarutobi silently snickered when telling him his new nickname.
But then it gave him a stop. He put more thought into it and realized it wasn't at all a bad idea. At first, he didn't think it would work out. But surprisingly, his seals managed to create the exotic exploding effects quite well for what he had in mind.
He discovered an entire world of new and highly dangerous options spread in front of him in his mind that would make Deidara look like an inexperienced, amateurish try-hard child.
It took him a few weeks, and now a few of his prototype seals were already in their finishing stages. After a few hundred of his clones heroically sacrificed their lives in the process of their creation by blowing themselves up in numerous ways. But these were the sacrifices Ren was willing to make.
He was going to channel his inner Bakuda and show these scrubs what the real art was about!
But for now...
Ren's hand snaked around Hinata's waist, and he pulled her closer to him, kissing her in the process.
He had two horny teenage girls clinging to him and he was going to enjoy their free day with them.
"Oh, by the way, my father is inviting you to our family dinner today. He was mumbling something about shovel talk." Ino suddenly spoke with an uncaring shrug, and Ren's indulgent smile abruptly froze.
There went his worry-free day.
...
Far away from Konoha, two people wearing Akatsuki cloaks sat on a massive rock, enjoying a momentary break from their travels.
Itachi Uchiha opened a report from his crows about Sasuke, a small smile donning his expression. This was the favorite part of his life. He wondered how his brother fared.
After opening the file, Itachi's Sharingan eyes first landed on a photo, and he subconsciously seared it into his mind forever. Only then did his mind register what it was looking at, and his expression scrunched in bewildered disgust before turning into a silent horror when he froze as he found out he could never un-remember the horrifying sight.
Kisame noticed that his partner was acting a bit weird and decided to take a look over his shoulder. A sharp, toothy grin spread on his face as he saw the photo of a boy very similar to his partner, wearing green spandex and sporting a bowl-cut hairdo as he stood with his hands on his hips in a very confident pose, smiling so wide it showed his teeth and... did that sparkle effect on his teeth really happen?
Kisame glanced at the small description text under the photo and almost cackled because, according to the file, the boy called himself Sasugai Uchiha now.
"Huh? I now understand why you let the twerp live." He hummed in amusement. "He is a good comedic relief."
Itachi shakily put his hand on his chest and took a gasping breath as he leaned forward, making Kisame worry.
"Oi, Itachi. You okay?"
Itachi glanced at his partner, hiding a wince as he rasped out in a pained tone, "Just a minor heart attack."
This was the day Sasuke Uchiha almost killed his brother for the first time.
Without even knowing it.