Through the huge crowd, my eyes move with her movement. This is so stupid. I try not to look at her, think of her, but its pains me so much. Why does it hurt so much? maybe i should end it. I look over where she is, dancing with this guy. He's Tall and handsome with sharp features and throws her a dashing smile as he turns her around. My fists are firm and tighten.
I move past the people dancing and smiling having the best time of there lives.
" Jade, can we talk?", I ask.
"now?"
"yeah. now", i swallow the lump in my throat.
"is it important?", she inquires and looks at the guy.
"please", I say with voice barely coming out. She nods and comes nearer putting both of hands on my shoulder.
"what's up"
I take a deep breath, I think I'm shaking.
"uh come with me." I say and take her hand. We move through the crowd and I finally spot a door. I open it and she follows me in. We're in another room just as magnific except all the lights are turned off.
" Hannah?", jude says.
" Jude", i sign.
" Jude I...", I look at her, I'm crazy for what I'm about to do. I'm stupid and dumb and I'll regret this for sure. " I've been meaning to be your friend and I try..I try not to get upset when you don't reciprocate all that. When you're always with Margaret or when you're laughing with everyone except me. Why is it always everyone but not me? and trust me I've tried not to care, for such a long time" My voice starts to break but I can't help it." I really really like you. I desperately like you. Please love me back Jude". Tears gather in my eyes making my throat hurt. I'm holding my breath so I don't give into it. I don't want to cry infront of her."I.. I really really desperately like you. I have to admit i try not to. But its been such a long time, and i try, i try every time but when i watch you. Every single day with someone else. You're laughing, you're hugging, you're joking. But why do I feel so heavy. Looking at you laugh with someone that's not me pains me so much. All i do is imagine myself at the place of the person you talk to all the time. The girl you like, someone who's not me. I cannot have it in me longer to keep it to myself. All my tries with you are fails. You know it so well. That i like you so much. No. I love you. Im in love with you. More than i like to admit. I hate you. I hate you for making me feel this way. I dont want to feel this way its awful. We have nothing in common, i know all these people who love me as i am but im stuck. I see the arrogance in your eyes, you know it so well. why do you do this to me.'', i say.
She looks at me and she opens her mouth but no words fall out, she cannot answer, because she did not hear any of it in the first place. it was all Hannah's imagination because she will never be able to bring herself to say that. She's done the math. There's no solution, they'll never last.