What just happened? Kazuma questioned himself.
At one point, he saw his friend writhe in pain, and then the next, he was in an interrogation room, with a helmet on his head.
"May I have a clue at what I'm here for?" He questioned the two tough men in front of him.
"..."
"Okay, please… say something…" Kazuma's obviously out of his zone. They did not use force, they just nudged him to sit on the seat—no harm, no talk—and just watched him sit there with the helmet.
The passing seconds felt aggravating, but eventually, a click was heard.
In robotic motion, they lifted the helmet off and left, leaving Kazuma alone in that room.
"Uh… So… is this over?" He stood up.
"Anybody—" his world suddenly swirled.
—
Blam! Kazuma fell from the sky, his butt landed nicely on another chair.
HAEURGH!!!*BARF* The man released all his lunch.
"Oh god… where can I put the f***ing review here?! I need to give them a fat zero." He begrudgingly commented, disgusted by the pooling vomit he had made on the floor.
"I see, I'll inform the related departments about this."
"Oh yes, thank you-" Kazuma immediately lifted his head, and a dominating figure was before him.
Kazuma felt a subtle pressure. The figure was so tall that his chest should have brushed his mansion's doorframe. His uniform exuded a supreme military authority, suggesting a rank at the top of the hierarchy. Only the blank mask and his somewhat lanky build softened his otherwise imposing, militaristic appearance.
"Forgive my rudeness, but if you would be kind, I recommend you return to your seat now."
"Umm… sorry that you have to see that uh…"
"Do not worry, we understand."
But still, the pool of—where did it go? He blinked multiple times on the floor.
His pool of vomit was gone, and the floor was squeaky clean.
"Teleportation-induced vertigo is a b***h, we funded so much on fixing it, but nope, still not enough. Now, please go back to your seat."
Wait, was this one of the godly cleaning services? Damn, I need one of these just for that goddess.
"Stop admiring the floor, Kazuma. We have a big proposal for you." He spoke like he was in a hurry.
Kazuma made a funny face. Shouldn't he be more polite or strict? Still, Kazuma did what he was told and jumped back to his seat.
The tall figure adjusted his collar. "Now, first question, do you know why you're here?"
"I think so, sir… uh… I don't know your name."
"Right. You can just call me Eldwin, or Lord Eldwin if I prefer," the tall figure said, nodding to himself."
"Understood," Kazuma politely bowed, "Uh… Lord Eldwin, may I—"
"Answer my question first, do you know why you are here?"
Kazuma squinted slightly, following along, "I have a guess, maybe..."
"Good, hit it on me."
He answered, "Minutes ago, Seth visited us to give me that golem butler or something. Then, some… uh… convoluted chain of conversation later, he fell to the floor screaming Bloody Mary."
"Any clue on what caused that Bloody Mary?"
"No clue, but I'm smart enough to know that's why I'm here," he answered honestly.
"Yup, that's about right, " he scribbled something on something Kazuma couldn't see. "Anything else?"
"....Nope, na-da."
"Good, all of it matches with your memory."
"Huh? Memory?"
"Read this document first." Eldwin handed him a slim document.
Kazuma frowned. What will this—oh?! The first line hooked him.
Kazuma quickly read every part with seriousness.
At the final page, he went eye-to-mask with Eldwin, "You're not joking with this, right?"
"We're serious."
"All of these, and I mean ALL OF THIS!!!" he slapped that document.
"Very."
"Then… why are you…—DON'T TELL ME!?" Kazuma slapped his thigh.
"Yes, we want you to be in it," Eldwin smirked under the mask.
Kazuma made an "O" with his mouth.
Suddenly, he shook his head as if shaking off, "Hold it, with this thing, are you saying you guys are multiversal powerhouses?"
Eldwin nodded, "We isekai people across universes."
Kazuma stood up and waved his hand in a pushing-away gesture. "I know this seems a bit disingenuous to reject such an MC-like opportunity for myself. But I reject."
Eldwin's head tilted slightly, "Why so?"
"Don't you think you got the wrong guy?"
Eldwin tilted further, saying nothing.
"Listen, this is an amazing opportunity to become the true hero I always dreamed of, but STILL!!! I'm unsure if you know… that I'm up for the job. Plus, every story with this level of power scaling always involves ultimate powers and world-breaking catastrophes. And I know I'm not the picture-perfect dude you had in mind for something of this scale." Kazuma presented his humble, flimsy self.
"Heh." Eldwin chuckled, "Scared?"
Kazuma looked sideways, "I'm more worried about having to pay the price, you know, like actually dying because of it."
"Well, you're in luck, the job we wanted you to be in is the safest and most risk-free one of all, plus also very protagonist-like without the consequences."
"Really? All the occupation and whatnot you wrote here screams dangers," he pointed at certain sections.
"The role we're offering here is not on that stack," Eldwin walked next to Kazuma, crouching to Kazuma's ear level.
"What we have for you is…" Eldin whispered some spicy stuff. As each sentence was whispered to Kazuma's ear, a cacophony of emotions rolled on his face, from shock, greed, lust, relief, intrigue, joy, and more.
In the end, his face ended with a sleazy smile, "Damn you guys are COOKING! Can you guarantee it?" his mercantile soul flared.
"Of course." Joy could be heard in Eldwin's voice.
—
"Hegh…The Roger Pirates have been… disbanded." A clown-nosed man was drinking a huge glass at an unknown bar.
It's been days since that big event happened, and now he's thinking about what he would do for his future. All while twirling three daggers on his fingers, each coated in a strange, dark energy that seemed to pulsate with hidden power.
"Can't believe it… I'm on my own now," Buggy mused.
He took a long swig from his glass, "The crew, I'll miss them. Well, most of them." He spat at that one red-haired fellow.
Buggy set down his glass, his eyes now sharp and contemplative. "The question's still at hand, do I want to uh… make a mighty crew, or just take the easy life laying low in one of the blue-"
Ding dong~ [Would you like to take the call?]
Σ(;⊙〇⊙;;;)
—
Tap. Tap. Tap.. Tap…
A man shrouded in rags trudged forward, steps heavy and mind numb. Only the sword at his waist hinted at his lingering humanity.
Three shadows pounced on him.
Zap! Zap! Zap!
Reduced to ash, instantly.
He sighed. This was just every other hour in an endless, monotonous fight for survival.
But in this desolation, there was one thing he longed for.
He rounded a crumbling wall—and froze.
He dashed forward, covering in seconds a distance that should've taken minutes. When he arrived, his knees buckled.
Two streams streaked his face, cutting paths through dirt and despair.
After days of suffering… I finally found it…
Before him, a calming warmth encapsulated the place: a bonfire.
He dropped to the muddy ground, planting his face on the dead leaves and grime. He gave it all the hugs and kisses, embracing it like a lost lover.
He did not care for his disgraceful actions, if the bonfire hadn't burned him, he would have cradled it too.
Ding dong~ [Would you like to take the call?]
—
Kazuma and Seiya stood before the shimmering portal, their figures stark against the endless expanse of white around them.
"Oh boy! OH BOY!! The time has finally come! They're coming!" Kazuma practically bounced in place, barely containing his excitement.
"Hmph." Seiya crossed his arms.
"Seiya! Don't you at least feel giddy about this?!" Kazuma gestured wildly at the portal. "These guys were just fiction before, but now they're real! Flesh and blood! Breathing and real!"
"So?"
Kazuma groaned in frustration and shoved a crumpled piece of paper into Seiya's face. "Didn't you even read the list? The freaking list?"
"There are only five of them."
"Well, duh! This is a trial, or maybe a prototype? Whatever! It's the first batch, so of course it's small. But come on, you have to admit this lineup is top-tier!"
"Really?"
"Of course! One of them is FREAKING OROCHIMARU!"
"Orochi… maru?" Seiya raised an eyebrow.
"Yes! From the Naruto series!"
"Oh. That show… So he's the old guy with the frogs?"
GASP!!!
"What?" Seiya finally glanced at him, and what he saw threw him off.
Kazuma was giving Seiya the most scummy stink eye he could muster. It was the kind of look that could make a lesser man crumble, the kind that screamed: How could you even exist?
To make it worse, Kazuma's mouth was moving in a bizarre, exaggerated up-and-down motion, silently mimicking words of utter disdain. It was like he couldn't even bother to articulate his disappointment aloud.
Any other person would've been tempted to punch him on the spot. But Seiya, with his heart of cold, cautious steel, didn't so much as flinch.
"Do you live under a rock?" Kazuma finally snapped. "Do you REALLY have no idea who Orochimaru is?!"
Seiya shrugged. "It's all the same to me."
"His name is OROCHI-maru," Kazuma hissed through gritted teeth. "O-RO-CHI! Like snakes! How in the hell did you connect him to that pervy sage?!"
"Just tell me straight," Seiya said, squinting menacingly. "Why is he supposed to be a benefit to us right now?"
Kazuma threw his hands up in exasperation. "Damn, you know NOTHING of culture!"
Seiya finally twitched, "Just tell me."
"Fine, fine!" Kazuma huffed, adjusting his posture like a professor about to deliver a groundbreaking lecture. "Let me enlighten you to the majesty that is the Sannin Orochimaru."
And so, Kazuma began his grand sermon on the world of Naruto, complete with overly animated gestures and voice impressions that no one asked for.
—
Minutes later…
Kazuma stood triumphantly, arms crossed and chest puffed out as though he had just delivered the definitive TED Talk on Naruto ninja lore. From their history, their power systems, and more
"And THAT is why Orochimaru is a big deal. He's a genius, a scientist, and a ninja who can summon GIANT SNAKES! He's practically a god-tier ally!"
Seiya raised an eyebrow, his face as unmoved as ever. "A god-tier ally, you say? Didn't you also mention he basically betrays everyone he works with?"
Kazuma froze, his triumphant pose collapsing like a house of cards. "Uh, w-well, yeah, but—"
"Why, thank you for the glowing introduction."
Both men spun around to see a pale, snake-like figure gracefully stepping into the room.
It was Orochimaru. From the looks of it, he had just emerged from the portal.
Before the two could react, he chuckled at them with that iconic headband and army-like jacket.
Orochimaru's amused chuckle echoed through the dimly lit space. "My, my, you are quite bold," Orochimaru mused, his golden eyes flicking between the two. "Few would speak to me with such... disregard for caution. Refreshing indeed."
Seiya, determinedly unfazed, crossed his arms and remained stoic. "If you're as capable as this guy spouted, prove it."
Kazuma's eyes practically bulged out of his head. DON'T DRAG ME INTO THIS! Yet Seiya gave him an unbothered look.
Orochimaru's unnervingly wide smile didn't falter, but his tone grew sharper, dripping with curiosity and a subtle edge of menace. "Such... confidence. Tell me, is bravery or sheer ignorance allowing you to speak so freely?"
"Neither," Seiya replied bluntly. "It's practicality. Everyone can be a liability and/or threat. So it is to be expected to be on guard against all. And yes, I don't trust this guy." Seiya pointed his thumb at Kazuma, causing Kazuma to become exasperated.
Orochimaru laughed at the answer. "You amuse me, Seiya. But you," he turned to Kazuma, "You Kazuma, are quite the storyteller. But tell me... how much of what you shared was based on fact, and how much was embellishment?"
Kazuma stiffened, "I, uh, m-maybe I added a bit of flair, but I think it was mostly true!" he waved his hands frantically.
"Hmm..." Orochimaru tilted his head, his gaze piercing through Kazuma like a predator toying with its prey. "Flair or not, your insights into chakras and jutsus are… intriguing. And weirdly very precise."
Kazuma gulped. Oh, crap. He knows I know too much.
"Hold it..." Seiya's tone sharpened, his eyes narrowing. "My name… None of us has spoken—" Seiya placed his hand on his sword. "How long have you been eavesdropping?"
"Eavesdropping is such an ugly word." Orochimaru's smile widened, his golden eyes gleaming. "Let's just say... I've always had a knack for picking up… useful information."