She is not weak. However, at this moment, she was showing a vulnerable side in front of me.
I also had many things I wanted to say to her. But for now, it seemed better to listen to what she had to say first. This wasn't how I wanted us to meet and talk, but even though it felt a bit early, I figured that if we had to have this conversation anyway, it might be better to get it over with quickly.
As a sign of agreement, I gave a slight nod, and she responded with a faint smile.
"Before that, there's something I want to ask. How do you usually see me?"
I couldn't yet grasp the intent behind Jung Ha-Yeong's question. However, I didn't hesitate too much. Just as I had shared a part of my true feelings with her through the Crystal of Truth, she was now trying to reveal a part of her own heart to me.
Suddenly, I recalled the moment back at the ruined laboratory when she had shown her reaction to the Golden Lion clan.
"I think you're an intelligent and skilled magician."
"And?"
"You're always calm and prefer to approach things logically. It's true that you have your own standards, but you also seem to have a certain degree of flexibility."
"Okay. And?"
"…Your voice is clear."
"Heh. And?"
I closed my mouth and simply gazed at her in silence.
At a glance, Jung Ha-Yeong seemed to be smiling. But upon closer inspection, the curve at the corner of her lips was faint, and her eyes were deeply sunken.
I chose not to say anything more.
"…Everyone has a side they show to the world and a side they keep to themselves."
"There are people whose outer and inner selves align."
"No. I never believed that. Even if someone seemed close, I thought no one could ever be completely the same inside and out. But after meeting you, that belief of mine was shattered for the first time."
"...."
I let out a quiet breath.
Of course, I understood what she was saying—I had once thought the same way. In a way, it was a little heartbreaking. What could have happened to make her so disappointed in herself and others?
"There's nothing to doubt. I know the effects of the Crystal of Truth all too well, and there wasn't a trace of falsehood in your sincerity. A person whose actions and inner thoughts truly match… I never imagined such a person could exist in this world. It's astonishing."
For a brief moment, a faint sting spread inside me, but I quickly steadied myself.
I didn't feel the need to apologize.
At the very least, I was certain that my feelings for my brother and Han So-Young were genuine, and that alone was enough for me to bear any shame without hesitation.
Jung Ha-Yeong refilled her glass to the brim, then ran her tongue lightly over her lips before continuing.
"I think I mentioned this before. If something seems even slightly unclear, I make sure to address it thoroughly. That is my creed for surviving in Hall Plain. Do you know why I've chosen such a cold principle to live by?"
"I don't."
"I was a member of the Golden Lion clan a year ago."
She spoke without any buildup, without any hesitation—just straight to the point.
Yeah. That was Jung Ha-Yeong.
Finally, she was getting to the heart of the matter. I focused on her words even more.
She closed her eyes for a moment, as if gathering her thoughts, then opened them again and spoke in her usual clear voice.
"You don't seem surprised. Good. I had a feeling you already suspected it back then.
Still, when I heard from the others that you rejected the Golden Lion clan, I felt… Well, it was a strange feeling."
"Joining a clan with no future would be foolish."
"A clan with no future… I wonder if anyone would dare describe the Golden Lion clan that way now. But I understand your perspective."
She paused for a moment, her expression growing distant—like someone lost in memories.
She looked like she was reminiscing.
It didn't take long before she started speaking again.
"The Golden Lion clan is a long-standing one. When they raided Babara, their clan lord—who had been leading for eight years—died. That means the clan is now in its twelfth year.
Considering that most players in Hall Plain don't survive more than ten years, they've managed to maintain a strong and lasting structure.
Sure, I don't know what they were like back then… but they've changed.
Ever since they conquered Babara, established themselves, and started growing in power.
I wasn't there in those days, but I still believe I have the right to say this."
"...."
"I entered Hall Plain two years ago with my younger sister.
It was when the Golden Lion clan was at its peak.
Back then, I was just a college senior, suddenly thrown into Hall Plain without knowing why.
I was terrified—dropped into the Rite of Passage, facing monsters I had only seen in movies, constantly fearing for my life… and realizing that I could never go home again.
That was when I met another player who had fallen into the Rite of Passage with me."
Jung Ha-Yeong's voice carried a deep sorrow that made me want to say something—anything.
But before I could, she shook her head firmly, stopping me.
Seeing that, I let out a quiet sigh and closed my half-open mouth.
"That person was truly incredible.
Handsome face, tall, strong, refined—he was exactly the kind of man a dreamy college girl would fantasize about.
But more than that, he became the leader of the people who had fallen into the Rite of Passage with us.
He guided us out of that living hell.
And I couldn't help but fall for him.
Back then, his skills were already exceptional—he lacked nothing.
Especially with a bow. Every shot was a perfect hit.
If only he had ridden a white horse, he really would have been a prince straight out of a fairy tale."
So, he was a second-year like her.
And an archer.
I tried to think of any players who fit her description, but no one came to mind.
The Golden Lion clan had plenty of archers, and unless they were truly famous, I barely remembered anyone below Kang's rank, like Seon Wu-Yun.
"After escaping the Rite of Passage, we entered the Player Academy together. And even there, he stood out. It's not easy for an archer to graduate at the top of the player Academy, but he did.
Back then, I believed we would always be together.
So I trained relentlessly.
I didn't want to be a burden to him.
And then came the long-awaited Graduation Ceremony.
He received an offer from the Golden Lion clan, admired by every new player.
And at that moment, my dream also came true."
"Your dream?"
"To stay by his side.
During the ceremony, under the gaze of everyone, he walked up to me, took my hand, and said—
I want to go with you.
I want us to stay together.
Apparently, he even asked the Golden Lion clan to take one more person.
My grades weren't bad at the time, but honestly, I wasn't at the level to be recruited by that clan.
Yet, the Golden Lion scout agreed without hesitation.
Back then, as an inexperienced newcomer, I was just happy to follow him.
But maybe… maybe that was where everything started to go wrong… Ha."
Jung Ha-Yeong let out a short sigh and paused.
I quickly refilled her empty glass.
With this, the bottle was completely empty.
She downed the drink in one go.
After moistening her lips with her tongue, she let out a small, bitter laugh.
"The other players who went through the Rite of Passage with us, including my younger sister, weren't included.
The others barely spoke to him after we entered the Player Academy, so I could understand why.
No—I was actually happy.
I worked hard and became someone worthy of standing by his side.
You weren't chosen because you weren't skilled enough.
Of course, I had some concerns about my sister, Ji-Yeong, but she was considerate of me.
I felt like a princess.
Being with him in the Golden Lion clan.
It was thrilling—being treated like someone special by him. It made me so happy."
I was able to recall her unique ability, charisma, in that moment. A player as composed and analytical as her was that captivated? If it were a player with charisma… No. Back then, she might not have had the same rational demeanor she does now. I pushed aside the thoughts that were flooding my mind. Her words continued once more.
She was still speaking.
"…I've talked too much. I'll wrap this up soon.
To put it simply, life in that clan was far from happy.
The veteran players who got in through pure skill looked down on me.
The other new recruits resented me.
Rumors spread—whispers that I had given my body to him in exchange for entry.
Some even called me a whore behind my back.
From the top. From the bottom.
I had no allies."
"The player who brought you in… didn't take your side?"
At my question, she clenched her teeth. So hard that I could hear the grinding sound. She bit her lip for a long moment before letting out a deep, heavy sigh. Lowering her head, her gaze dropped to the floor. Then, in a quiet, restrained voice, she spoke.
"It was one night. That day, I was exhausted—physically, mentally. I lay down to sleep, but for some reason, the other players who shared my quarters didn't return. I thought it was strange, but I didn't have the energy to care. After some time, I heard the door open. Already lying in bed, I assumed it was just one of my roommates. So I kept my eyes closed.
And then, in that moment—
The person who entered climbed onto my bed. And laid his heavy body down on top of me."
"...No way…"
"I was shocked and tried to push myself up, but the man who entered ripped my clothes apart with brute force. I fought back desperately. I wasn't someone who would go down without a fight, but I had been caught off guard—or maybe, by sheer luck, my resistance succeeded.
The Rapid Casting I had been practicing for my skill improvement activated purely by chance. The unexpected attack sent him flying with a loud cry. That's when I finally came to my senses and looked up. The attacker lay before me, covered in blood.
And that man…
Was the very scout who had recruited me from the Player Academy.\
As soon as he saw me, he yelled in anger."
"He… got angry?"
"Yes. I should have been the one furious, but I was just dumbfounded. One of the things he said still lingers in my mind—
'What the hell? Didn't you already talk it over with him?'"
At those words, my face twisted into a frown.
With just that one sentence, I could piece together the entire situation.
Jung Ha-Yeong saw my reaction and smiled.
But it was a bitter, lonely smile.
"Yeah. Whatever you're imagining, it's probably true. That night, the Golden Lion clan was thrown into chaos. I had never done anything wrong—not even a fingernail's worth. I followed the clan's orders. I did as I was told, without complaint. Yes, there were rumors, but beyond that, there was nothing to criticize me for.
And yet, that was it. Time passed, and the incident was simply buried. The higher-ups told me to keep quiet. They strongly hinted that I should just be grateful I wasn't kicked out. And then—on the very day they decided to cover up the incident, the player who had gone through the Rite of Passage with me, the very one who had brought me into the Golden Lion clan…
Called me over."
So this has been going on for two years…
Then what about now?
Sure, the clan recently failed a major expedition, but the way they crumbled afterward had always seemed too abrupt.
Now, two years later, I could already imagine just how rotten they had become inside—even without seeing or hearing it firsthand.
"Even then, I thought he was my only ally. I just… wanted some comfort. But when I approached him with tearful eyes, he looked at me coldly—
And spat out a single sentence."
"…What did he say?"
"'You idiot. I thought you were smart, but you're just a fool.'"
"…Stop. That's enough. I've heard enough—I understand now."
This was it. This was the threshold. I raised a hand to stop her, thinking this was as much as she should say. But Jung Ha-Yeong fiercely shook her head, rejecting my consideration.
Her sleek bobbed hair swayed beautifully, side to side. Seeing her unwavering determination to continue, I had no choice but to lower my hand.
"We fought. A terrible, vicious fight. For the first time since joining him, I fought back with everything I had. At the end of it all, I was crying—begging through my sobs,
'How could you do this to me?'
But he stayed cold. He blamed me.
'Because of you, I've fallen out of favor with the scout.'
'Do you even understand how much power he holds here?'
'Trying to keep your chastity in Hall Plain is stupid.'
'You should do whatever it takes to survive.'
'Why can't you understand how I feel?'
He went on and on—half convincing, half lecturing me.
And then…
Leaving me behind as I collapsed in tears—
He walked away.
The scout?
All he said before leaving was—
'I'll talk to him again.
You should stop being so naive and face reality.'"
"Jung Ha-Yeong."
"It's almost over. Just a little more, just a little more, listen. After that incident, I hardly remember how I made it back to my room. I spent three days and nights crying and sobbing. But even then, I still couldn't face reality. Not the reality he was talking about, but the reality I saw. Somewhere deep inside, I still wanted to believe in him.
After agonizing over it for a long time, I finally decided to accept his words. After all, there were quite a few women around who lived like that, and Hall Plain has a much weaker sense of chastity compared to modern society. I convinced myself—he's doing this for me, and once things settle down, he'll accept me again.
With that self-justification, which was nothing more than a delusional fantasy, I pulled myself together and stood up."
"How foolish."
At my criticism, she immediately admitted it.
"Yes, I admit it. Thinking about it now, I was really stupid.
It's nothing to be proud of, but until then, I had never accepted a man. Because of that, I had this fantasy about my first time—the idea that I wanted to do it with someone I loved. So I got up, fixed myself up, and tried to look as pretty as possible. Then, I waited for nightfall, sneaked out of my room, and went to his.
I thought that if I at least gave my first time to him, I could use that as a small source of comfort for the suffering I would endure in the future. So I steeled myself and stood in front of his door. I placed my hand on the doorknob. But then…"
As Jung Ha-Yeong recalled that moment, her lips trembled in distress. Her hands shook, and her eyes quivered violently. It seemed as if she might burst into tears at any moment, but she held them back. After taking a few deep breaths to compose herself, she continued in a voice that sounded as if her throat was closing up.
"The moment I stood at the door, I heard faint sounds from inside the room. Yes… those sounds—they were unmistakably the moans of a man and a woman.
With my hand on the doorknob, I stood frozen, my fingers trembling. And then, as if possessed, I slowly pushed the door open.
And inside that room… just as I feared, he was there—entangled with another female player, their bodies exploring each other.
And at that exact moment."
Jung Ha-Yeong abruptly stopped speaking, and for a brief second, I felt as if I could see blue flames of fury burning in her eyes. The sheer intensity of her rage made me swallow unconsciously, waiting for her next words.
"I locked eyes with the woman lying beneath him."
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