"You should have killed Cassius or sent him away," Mustang tells me.
say.
"Would have thought you nobler than that," I
"I like to win. Family trait. And sometimes cheating is in the rulebook." She smiles. "You get a merit bar every time you recapture your stan- dard. So I arranged for it to be lost to House Diana by someone else several times. Then rode out to capture it. Got to Primus in a week."
"Tricky. Yet your army liked you,"' I say.
"Everyone likes me. Now eat your damn rabbit. You're skinny as a razor."
The winter grows colder. We live in the deep north woods, far north of Ceres, northwest of my former highlands. I have not yet seen a soldier of Mars. I don't know what I would do if I did.
"I've hidden from everyone but you," Mustang says. "It keeps me alive and ticking."
"What's your plan?" I ask. She laughs at herself. "To be alive and ticking." "You're better at it than I am." "How do you mean?"
"No one in your House would have betrayed you."
"Because I didn't rule like you," she says. "You have to remember, people don't like being told what to do. You can treat your friends like ser- vants and they'll love you, but you tell them they're servants and they'll kill you. Anyway, you put too much stock in hierarchy and fear.'" "Me?"
"Who else? I could spot it a mile away. All you cared about was your mission, whatever it is. Youre like a driven arrow with a very depressing shadow. First time I met you, I knew you'd cut my throat to get whatever it is you want." She waits for a moment. "What is it that you want, by the way?"
"To win," I say. "Oh, please. You're not that simple.'"
"You think you know me?" The coals crackle in pur small fire.
"I know you cry in your sleep for a girl named Eo. Sister? Or a girl you loved? It is a ver y offColor name. Like yours."
"T'm a farplanet hayseed. Didn't they tell you?" "They wouldn't tell me anything. I don't get out much. Strict father." She waves a hand. "Anyway, doesn't matter. All that matters is that no one trusts you because it's obvious you care more about your goal than you do about them." "And you're something different?"
"Oh, very much so, Sir Reaper. I like people more than you do. You are the wolf that howls and bites. I am the mustang that nuzzles the hand. People know they can work with me. With you? Hell, kill or be killed."
She's right.
When I had a tribe, I did it right. I made every boy and every girl love me. Made them earn their keep. I taught them how to kill a goat as if I knew how. I gave them fire as if I had created the matches. I shared a secret with them-that we had food and Titus didn't. They saw me as their father. I remember it in their eyes. When Titus was alive, I was a symbol of goodness and hope. Then when he died ... I became him.
"Sometimes I forget that the Institute is mean to teach me things, I say to Mustang.
The golden girl tilts her head at me. "Like how we must live for more?"
Her words strike my heart. They echo through time from another's lips. Live for more. More than power. More than vengeance. More than what we're given.
I must learn better than them, not simply beat them. That is how I will help Reds. I am a boy. I am foolish. But if I learn to become a leader, I can be more than an agent of the Sons of Ares. I can give my people a future. That is what Eo wanted.
Deep winter. The wolves are hungry now. They howl in the night. When Mustang and I make a kil, we sometimes have to scare them off. But when we kill a caribou at dusk, a pack descends from the northlands. They come from the trees like dark specters. Shadows. The biggest of them is my size. His fur is white. The fur of the oth- ers is gray, no longer black. These wolves change with the season. I watch how they surround us. Each moves with individual cunning. Yet each moves as part of the pack.
"This is how we should fight," I whisper to Mustang as we watch the wolves approach. "Could we talk about this later?"
We take down the pack leader with three ar- rows. The rest flee. Mustang and I set to skinning the big white brute. As she slips her knife along beneath the fur, she looks up, nose red from the cold.
"Slaves aren't part of the pack, so we can't fight like them. Not that it matters. The wolves don+ have it right either. They take too much from their pack leader. Cut off the head, the body re- treats."
"So the answer is autonomy," I say.
"Maybe." She bites her lip.
Later that night, she elaborates. "It's like a hand." She sits close and cozy, leg touching mine. Close enough for guilt to crawl along my spine. The caribou roasts, filling the cave with a cozy, thick aroma. A blizzard rages outside and the wolf fur dries over the fire. "Give me your hand, she says. "Which is your best finger?"
"They are all better at different things." "Don't be obstinate."
I tell her my thumb. She has me try to hold a stick with only my thumb. She easily pulls it from my grasp. Then she has me hold it with- out my thumb and only the other fingers. With a twist, the stick is free.
"Imagine that your thumb is your Housemem- bers. The fingers are all the slaves you have con- quered. The Primus or whoever is the brain. It all works pretty gory seamlessly. Yeah?"
She can't pull the stick from my grip. I set it down and ask her the point.
"Now try to do something beyond simply grab- bing the standard. Just move your thumb coun- terclockwise and your fingers clockwise except our middle."
I do it. She stares at my hands and laughs in- credulously. "Ass." I ruined her demonstration. Helldivers are dexterous. I watch her hands as she tries to do it too. Of course she fails. I under- stand.
"A hand is like the Society," I say.
It is the structure of the armies at the Institute. The hierarchy is good for simple tasks. Some fin- gers are more important than others. Some are better at certain things. All fingers are controlled by the highest order, the brain. The brain's con- trol is effective. It makes your thumb and fingers work together. But the single brain's control is limited. Imagine each one of the fingers had a brain of its own that interacted with the main brain. The fingers obey, but they function inde- pendently. What could the hand do then? What could an army do? I twirl the stick along my fin- gers in intricate patterns. Exactly.
Her eyes linger on mine, and her fingers trace along my palm as she explains. I know she wants me to react to her touch, but I force my mind to e lost on other things.
son.
This idea of hers isn't part of the Proctors' les-
r heir lesson is about the evolution from anar- chy to order. It is about control. About the sys- tematic accumulation of power, the structure of that power, and then its preservation. It is a model to show that the Rule of Hierarchies is the best. The Society is the final evolution, the only answer. She just slagged that rule, or at least showed its limitations.
If I could earn the voluntary allegiance of the slaves, the army created would look nothing like the Society. It would be better. Like if the Reds of Lykos thought they could actually win the Lau- rel, they would be so much more productive. Or if a Praetor on board his starcruiser could utilize not only his own genius, but that of his crew of Blues.
Mustang's strategy is Eo's dream.
It's like an electric shock jolts through me.
"Why didn't you try it with the slaves you cap- tured?"
She pulls her hand away from mine after I don't respond to her touch.
"Itried."
She's quiet the rest of the night. Near morning, she develops a cough.
Mustang takes sick over the next few days. I hear fluid in her lungs and feed her broth made from marrow and wolf and leaves boiled in a hel- met I found. She looks like she will die. I don't know what to do. Were low on food, so I hunt. But the game is scarce and the wolves are hun- gry. Prey has fled these woods, so we survive on small hares. All I can do is keep her warm and pray a medBot descends from the clouds. The Proctors know where we are. They always know where we are. I find human tracks in the woods the next week. A set of two. I follow them to an aban- . fc doned campsite, hoping they might have food I can steal. There are animal bones and embers still hot. No horses, though. Probably not scouts then. Oathbreakers, the Shamed who have bro- ken their vows after being enslaved. There's plenty of them now.
I follow their tracks through the woods for an hour before I grow worried. They circle back around, leading somewhere familiar, leading to our cave. It is night by the time I return. I hear laughter from the home I share with Mustang. The arrow feels thin in my fingers as I nock it on the bowstring. I should kneel to gather my breath. My wound aches. I pant. But I can't give them more time. Not if they have Mustang.
They cannot see me as I stand at the edge of the frozen caribou skin and hardpacked snow that walls off our cave from sight and elements. The fire crackles inside. Smoke seeps out through vents Mustang and I took a day in making. Two boys sit together eating what's left of our meat, drinking our water.
They are dirty and ragged. Hair like greased weeds. Stained complexions. Blackheads. Once beautiful, Im sure. One boy sits on Mustang's chest. The girl who saved my life is gagged and in her undergarments. She shivers from the cold. One of the boys bleeds from a bite wound on his neck. They are planning on making her pay for that wound. Knives heat till red in the fire. One boy obviously enjoys the sight of her nakedness. He reaches to touch her skin as though she's a oy meant for his pleasure.
My thoughts are primal, wolflike. A terrifying emotion sweeps over me, one that I did not know I had for this girl. Not till now. It takes a moment to calm myself and stop my hands from shaking. His hand is on the inside of her thigh.