" Master, Master", I could feel a voice calling out to me in the darkness.
"Santaliel, kill me...please," Her warm voice echoed in my head. I stood there in the darkness, gripping my sword firmly, prepared to strike and yet I felt so restrained, my heart was heavy. My friends and soldiers laying on the ground, the ones that were still conscious were too weak to even stand. The clouds were dark, the atmosphere was heavy with despair.
' I have to do it, I have to save everyone.'
"Master..."
********************
The warm feeling of the celestial force from the blue grass beneath me spread through my whole body as I laid on it, every fiber of my being could feel the pure energy that emits from here. Its warmth soothing the constant ache i feel inside. When I'm here in Gaia's garden, i sometimes forget I have a load of problems, and the major problem being the only god on Mount Lyrota without a celestial aura.
I've spent over 5,000 years training to discover my celestial aura, that's longer than some gods have been alive. My father as well as Gaia says it will come, that I just need more time. But time feels like a joke when you are an immortal.
The Phoenixes play lazily in the sky with each other, their golden feathers shimmering against the brilliant blue scenery, and the gentle hum of the river flowing through every corner of the garden echoed through the valley, you could even hear the peaceful sound of the waterfall.
In here everything feels right. I remained laid on the soft grass, letting my eyes follow the majestic rise of the golden trees that stretched endlessly upward, their leaves glittering in the sunlight. The flowers bloomed in perfect harmony, each petal a reflection of her divine energy. Gaia's touch was everywhere in this garden, her power woven into every root and branch making the garden the most divine place in the infinity realm.
It is a sanctuary, a place of perfect peace.It is also the one place where I didn't feel like the failure that I am, the one place where I could hide from everyone's judging eyes.
"Atleast here I don't have to try so hard to exist." I thought out loud to myself, taking in the scenery, but deep down I know this peace won't last.
"The beauty and peace of my garden never ceases to amaze doesn't it?" Gaia's voice floated toward me as she approached. Her voice as soft and soothing as a summer breeze.
'Speak of the devil', I thought to myself with a sigh while sitting up as she approached , her long green hair flowed like a river down her back with different accessories adorning her hair. She is the embodiment of grace, elegance and beauty. Gaia is the goddess of the Earth.
She's draped in a gown made from woven flora, the vibrant colours shifting and different colours of petals spiralled around her as she moved, her presence was filled with a pure energy that can't be felt in this world, even someone as powerless as me can feel the massive yet calming aura that emits from her very being. She's said to be one of the oldest gods in the infinity realm, yet her beauty is unmatched and her skin is flawless, I wouldn't blame anyone for thinking she's a young goddess, I also had the same thought the first time I bumped into her.
She's is the only goddess among the gods and goddesses to have both Celestial and divine aura.
In her hands, she carried a bowl of mountain berries, the red ones which happens to be my favourite, and offers them to me.
"If I didn't know better, I would think you're trying to enchant me with those." I teased as I looked away
"Quite the opposite, I brought it as a souvenir for your journey home." She teased back
" you know you can't get rid of me even if you tried." I smiled gently as i grabbed the bowl of berries and popped one into my mouth, savouring the taste.
The berries was sweet, their flavour was bursting on my tongue with a refreshing tang.
Gaia smiled as she sat beside me, her eyes twinkling with that familiar warmth. "How long have you been here, I'm still amazed at how you can break in without me detecting you"
"It's a secret." I said with a smug smile as I continued with my mountain berries.
Of course, it isn't really a secret. The truth is, with my almost nonexistent celestial force, I could slip past the barrier unnoticed. But Gaia was strong enough to sense me every time, I knew that. She just pretended not to, letting me believe I was special enough to sneak pass her barrier undetected. And yet, somehow, she always knew where I was and always had mountain berries prepared for me . Gaia has always been like a mother to me since the first day I sneaked into her garden and bumped into her. Of course she still pretended not to notice me sneaking in. and since then she has been not just a mother, but also a friend and someone I could confide in. Some would say I'm quite lucky to be close to her.
" You know you can't hide out here forever, Orly would be worried about you." She said with a smile
"I'm not hiding," I responded, though we both knew that wasn't entirely true. "I'm resting and I've only been here for a few days."
"Resting from what, exactly?" Gaia asked, her voice calm and soothing with a hint of sarcasm
I sighed, leaning back on my elbows as I popped another berry into my mouth. "From everything," I shrugged. "Mount Lyrota, the constant training, the way everyone looks at me like I don't belong."
My gaze drifted to the shimmering surface of the crystal-clear river that snaked through the garden. "In here, I don't have to try so hard to prove myself and my worth, I don't have to look at those scornful faces. I can just sit around all day and enjoy the serenity of this place, like I always have."
Gaia's expression softened, her voice gentle. "No one belongs perfectly, Santaliel. Not even the top great gods. You're still trying to find your place, and that's okay. But you won't find it by running away or hiding out here. I love it when you're here but I don't want you leaving your responsibilities behind."
I frowned, staring down at the berries in my hand. "I've been training for 5,000 years, Gaia, and yet, nothing. No Celestial aura, no role. I'm just empty."
"You're not empty," Gaia said firmly. "You are simply still growing. You haven't yet seen the full extent of your power, but that doesn't mean it's not there."
"Full extent of my power?, I don't even have any power." I bit into another berry, though the sweetness did little to ease the bitterness inside me. "Or maybe I'm just not meant for this. Maybe I'm not like the others."
Gaia let out a soft laugh, and I couldn't help but glance at her in surprise. "None of us are like the others. That's the point. Each of us has a unique path, and it takes time to discover it."
"5,000 years seems like a lot of time."
"Not for a god." Gaia reached out, brushing her hand over the soft blue grass beneath us. "This garden took millennials to grow, to thrive. Every blade of grass, every tree, every flower, none of it happened overnight. It took time, patience, nurturing and it wasn't easy to combine my divine and celestial aura into this garden but I did it anyways."
"I'm not a garden, Gaia, and you are one of the most powerful goddess in the infinity realm," I muttered, though her words lingered in my mind. "And besides, I don't think anyone's interested in waiting around for me to figure out what I'm supposed to be."
"They'll wait," Gaia said, her tone unwavering. She reached out, gently wiping mountain berry seeds from my face, a quiet reassurance in her touch."And when you do figure it out, they'll see what I've seen all along."
I didn't respond. What could I say? Gaia's faith in me was comforting, but it didn't change the gnawing doubt that had settled in my chest for centuries. I was supposed to be more than this.
"At least practice your aura gathering while you're here," Gaia urged. "You can't unlock your celestial aura by lying around, no matter how beautiful the view."
"Right, training." I sighed, rubbing the back of my neck. "That's going so well, too."
Gaia smiled softly, standing and brushing off her gown. "You'll get there, Santaliel. Just… don't give up."
I stood up beside her, i wanted to believe her. I wanted to believe that, somehow, I'd figure it all out. But it was hard to keep that hope alive after so many years of nothing.
"I guess I'll head back to Mount Lyrota, then." The words came out reluctantly, my feet dragging as if the very idea of leaving the peace of the heavenly garden weighed me down.
"Stop running away from your responsibilities," Gaia called after me, her voice gentle but firm.
I paused, glancing back at her and smiled. "I'm not running, I'm just… walking away."
Gaia watched me with a gentle smile on her face which held an unspoken feeling I couldn't understand.
I walked towards a door that was at the corner, it was just a door with unique designs that floated in the middle of the place. Somehow it always appears when I want to come here and when I want to leave.
I opened the door and a bright shimmering shone through it, I looked back at Gaia, hesitating to leave. She smiled at me and wave. I smiled back before reluctantly entering the light and the door close behind me and disappeared.