I don't know how long I was asleep for but it was still dark when I woke. It was cold again. And dark again. I didn't want to get up.
I glanced and saw the fire was out. I laid back down. Everything just hit me hard when I went to sleep.
I don't know where he is. I don't know if he's alive. I don't know if I will ever know.
I found myself opening the chat. I had several people messaging me. I scrolled down the the Lumberjack. I know she can't betray me. I feel bad but I need to talk to someone and she's the only one there.
Nitorian: Hey. Don't know if this is a bad time but I need someone to talk to.
I feel dumb. She's a total stranger. I know we have a bit of a weird relationship where I saved her life in exchange for her servitude.
So maybe it's not right. Though if I don't talk to someone I'm gonna get worse.
Lumberjack: Well the sun is up so am I. I can talk.
The sun? I guess she's somewhere warmer then.
Nitorian: I want this to stay confidential. It's kinda personal.
Lumberjack: Of course.
Nitorian: Well basically I miss my boyfriend.
Lumberjack: Oh?
Nitorian: He and his family weren't added to my family chat.
Lumberjack: Does your family not support your relationship? Is that why you're talking to me?
Nitorian: I haven't spoken to any of them in four years. Some are almost longer. I'm non-binary and my family just treated me like I was possessed, or going through an attention seeking phase.
Lumberjack: Well if it helps I support you.
I chuckle.
Nitorian: Thanks.
Nitorian: It just didn't hit till I had to sleep alone. I haven't slept alone since I escaped my family to live alone with him.
Lumberjack: He must make you feel very happy. He sounds special.
Nitorian: Sorry to just dump this all on you.
Lumberjack: No it's all good. How about I info dump on you to make us even.
Nitorian: Fair enough.
Lumberjack: I just divorced them man that was most likely the one. Cause I cheated on him.
Nitorian: Oh.
Lumberjack: I know. I told him immediately. It was one of those drunk accidents.
Nitorian: He couldn't accept it?
Lumberjack: I couldn't accept it. And now it seems so stupid. I should have kept trying with him. He was the perfect guy in every way. Now he's not in my family chat cause I let him go. No, I made him go.
Nitorian: Well as long as he isn't dead maybe you guys can try again.
Lumberjack: Maybe. I don't know. I don't think he'll wait for me.
I was quiet. I had no clue what to say. What do you say in this situation?
Lumberjack: This is the truly rough part though. I'm pregnant.
I stared at the screen. Jeez this girl is straight from one of those drama shows. Though it makes more sense.
Nitorian: That's why you were so willing to make that deal.
Lumberjack: I was considering aborting them before. But everything happened. Once I lost my leg I could only think. No, not my baby. Anything for my baby.
She could be lieing. But I want it all to be true. I want us to be able to trust each other. I wanna ignore everything telling me not to trust her. Maybe cause I'm depressed but I don't really care why anymore.
Nitorian: If there's anything you need you let me know. Food, weapons, equipment, you name it. I promise you will have a healthy child.
Lumberjack: Thank you. You're actually the first person I told.
Nitorian: You haven't told your family?
Lumberjack: I don't have one.
I grimaced, feeling awkward.
Nitorian: I guess all we got is each other for now.
Lumberjack: I'm okay with that.
I closed out of the chat and stood up. Time to face the day.