Well, I think I was way more optimistic about this new year. Or do I still need to realize that I'm depressed ? I used to joke about this, believing I was just tired from my old work. But this feeling isn't getting better…..
What am I supposed to do ?
I've recently talked to my friends, who didn't have a nice past, like me.
Similar, yet we're so different.
Everyone can hide their emotion, suffering, or even pain, behind a plain smile. Or an emotionless face.
After we talked, I dropped into a deeper depression, lol. Because I've started to realize and accept what I always denied and shrug off, as if it wasn't an important matter.
I'd say, maybe this generation is going downhill, with all of this depression, or it's just what I feel from other people.
I don't know ? Do I want to know ?
Oh, right, I've realized that I'm becoming more and more apathetic. This was when I realized I can't even hate or get angry at the thought of my biological father. I am broken ?
I think yes.
Why am I still living ? I don't know. Why am I not still dead ? Do I want to live ? I don't know anymore.
It's a peculiar feeling, of being lost, not having an objective or even a source to get emotional.
I dunno. But I think I should apologize and thank all the readers, lol. Knowing that the writer is such a depressed thing, updating so irregularly.