After finishing their conversation, the two of them happened to arrive at the study.
Qiu Che had remained silent the entire time, perhaps unsure of what to say.
The hardship had passed, but the pain and scars remained.
She couldn't stand in the position of a bystander and offer any judgment on Li Qingwu's past choices.
That would be a form of disrespect toward her.
Seeing Qiu Che's serious and solemn expression, Li Qingwu instead smiled. "You don't have to look so grim. I didn't bring this up just to make you upset."
"Now it's your turn," she said lightly. "I've finished talking. What about you?"
Qiu Che didn't answer immediately. She simply looked at Li Qingwu for a long moment before saying, "Come with me."
Then she took her hand and led her into the study.
Li Qingwu stumbled slightly at the sudden pull, glancing at their intertwined hands in a brief daze.
As if realizing something, the tips of her ears reddened slightly, and she quickly averted her gaze in panic.
Unfortunately, Qiu Che didn't notice.
The Princess's residence had been granted to Li Qingwu as a wedding gift from the Emperor. She had only visited a few times, and after the marriage, she had tacitly allowed Qiu Che to use the study, never setting foot inside again.
As the two entered the room, Yu Ming and Fu Ling exchanged glances behind them before stopping at the doorway in silent understanding.
Not long ago, Fu Ling had given Yu Ming and Yu Yan the cold shoulder after her mistress was inexplicably taken away. Then, last night, she had been forced to overhear the sounds of her mistress's wedding night.
Now, as their eyes met, a subtle awkwardness lingered between them.
Neither spoke. Instead, they simultaneously looked away, staring at the sky, the ground, anywhere but at each other.
Inside the study.
Qiu Che hadn't brought many belongings from her small courtyard, just two trunks. One contained clothes, the other books, all left here, yet to be organized.
—Most of the servants in the Princess's residence had been arranged by the Emperor from the palace. They loved reporting everything, down to how many bites of food she took at dinner.
Even though there wasn't anything particularly secretive in her belongings, Qiu Che disliked the feeling of being watched.
What belonged to her was hers alone to reveal.
She placed the books haphazardly onto the sandalwood bookshelf, filling it up in no time.
Finally, Qiu Che pulled out a pile of strange wooden carvings from the bottom of the book trunk and laid them out on the table one by one.
Whistles, small wooden swords, figurines of people and animals…
Li Qingwu wanted to ask what they were but hesitated, feeling the question was unnecessary.
After all, it was obvious—Qiu Che had made them herself.
Some were finely crafted, others rough and clumsy, yet in every single piece, one could find the shape of a lotus flower.
She couldn't help but ask, "Do you… really like lotuses?"
Qiu Che thought for a moment. "Not particularly. I just didn't have anything else to carve, and they happened to look decent. I also use them as my personal seal."
She then asked, "How did you know I made these?"
Li Qingwu pressed her lips together in a smile, pulling out a bird whistle from her sleeve pouch. Remembering how she had approached Qiu Che under a false identity, she felt a bit guilty. "I just recognized it."
At the base of the whistle, there was a rough lotus imprint.
If one didn't play with it frequently or examine it carefully, it wouldn't be noticeable.
Besides, the moment she saw the wooden carvings, she knew they had come from the same hands that made the whistle.
Seeing how Li Qingwu kept glancing at the carvings, clearly interested but hesitant to touch them, Qiu Che smirked. "If you want, you can take a few."
Li Qingwu quickly shook her head, just about to refuse when Qiu Che added, "They're not hard to make. I have plenty. Even if I gave them all to you, it wouldn't matter."
"Back then, I didn't insist on giving you one because we were still strangers."
Li Qingwu hesitated before asking, "And now?"
"Now?" Qiu Che replied matter-of-factly. "Now, we're allies."
Li Qingwu smiled faintly but still shook her head.
"Why not?" Qiu Che asked. She could clearly see how much Li Qingwu liked them.
"Because you made them yourself," Li Qingwu said softly. "Even if you don't use them now, you could keep them as a collection."
Qiu Che replied, "I don't care about that."
Seeing Li Qingwu still hesitate, she sighed in mock helplessness and sat down on the stone steps, casually remarking, "Yu Ming and Yu Yan have been eyeing them too, but I haven't given them any. If you don't want them, I'll just give them to them instead."
Li Qingwu immediately said, "I'll take them!"
Their eyes met, and Li Qingwu's face instantly turned a deep shade of red.
Qiu Che chuckled, picked up a small box, and carefully placed the wooden carvings inside. Noticing how embarrassed Li Qingwu was, she changed the subject. "Do you know why I wanted you to see these?"
Li Qingwu shook her head.
Qiu Che gestured for her to sit.
She seemed ready for a heart-to-heart conversation.
Li Qingwu hesitated for a moment, then attempted to sit on the stone steps as Qiu Che had, only for Qiu Che to stop her with a laugh, pulling a small stool over instead.
Li Qingwu slowly said, "I don't mind sitting on the ground."
"You're a princess."
She wasn't meant to be sullied by dust.
Sitting on the ground with her like this—what would that look like?
"I'm only a princess in the palace, the Emperor's daughter," Li Qingwu lowered her gaze to her. "Here, I'm just your wife. I am the Lady of the Qiu family."
"You said it yourself: since I married you, I belong to you. If I want to sit beside you, is there a problem?"
Her words carried a certain ambiguity, but when spoken between two women, especially with Li Qingwu's calm and composed tone, it seemed like Qiu Che was simply overthinking things.
Seeing Li Qingwu's serious expression, Qiu Che thought for a moment before nodding. "Alright, no problem."
Li Qingwu sat down.
But while Qiu Che sat at ease, Li Qingwu appeared uncomfortable, her posture stiff and overly proper.
She didn't seem to be sitting on the ground but rather on an elegant jade throne.
Qiu Che stifled a laugh. "Though, I don't agree with what you just said."
"Which part?"
"Everything except the last sentence."
Li Qingwu opened her mouth, only to see Qiu Che turn away, flicking a small wooden puppet with a red string as she said, "You wanted to ask why I learned martial arts, didn't you?"
Li Qingwu paused and fell silent.
Sometimes, he would even assert his dominance in bed, tormenting Madam Wang.
Qiu Che had walked in on it twice before. She was too young to understand, but all she felt was revulsion and terror. From then on, she developed a psychological aversion to the act between men and women.
This led to a peculiar aversion to being touched, mostly by men.
But this wasn't something she needed to tell Li Qingwu.
"The worst time was when my mother tried to run away. He got impatient and had her legs broken."
"They crushed them until they became three-inch golden lotuses."
At this point, she noticed Li Qingwu subtly drawing her feet back, her expression unreadable.
Qiu Che paused briefly before continuing—
After that, Madam Wang never struggled again. She never ran again.
It was as if every bone in her body had been broken, leaving her unable to stand tall ever again.
Yet, even after a lifetime of bowing and scraping, did she ever gain her freedom? Did she ever find happiness?
No.
Qiu Che thought about it lightly, and just as lightly, she went on: "After tormenting my mother for so long, he got bored. So, he turned his attention to me."
"He lived in misery, so how could his daughter, the daughter who was only allowed to study because of his 'benevolence', be allowed to live freely and happily?"
"I told him woodworking wouldn't affect my studies, but he didn't believe me." Or rather, it didn't matter whether he believed it or not. As long as he found a reason to reprimand Qiu Che, that was enough. "He said woodworking was useless. I wasn't going to become a carpenter, so doing it would only be a waste of my life."
"He wanted me to stop immediately. To swear that I would never touch woodworking again."
"But I was stubborn. I asked him, if I wasn't becoming a carpenter, did that mean I couldn't do woodworking at all?
What if, one day, I actually made a name for myself?
What if, one day, I became the best woodworker in the entire capital?"
Qiu Chudong sneered. "Impossible."
He never said it out loud, but the way he looked her up and down, filled with disdain, said everything—
You're just a girl.
A girl doing such rough, dirty, exhausting work?
A girl, a woodworker? And the best one in the capital?
A girl…
Because you are a girl, you are not worthy.
Even among the four traditional occupations, scholars, farmers, artisans, and merchants, where artisans ranked just above merchants, she still wasn't worthy.
So, Qiu Che made a bet with him.
Annoyed by her persistence, Qiu Chudong waved her off and gave her a ridiculous challenge—he told her to learn martial arts.
He said, "This is something only men can do well. If you don't believe me, try it yourself."
So, she did.
"At that age, starting martial arts was already a bit late. And as a girl, my bones were indeed more fragile than a man's. At first, my martial arts master wasn't pleased with me. He looked at me and said—how can a man be as weak as a little girl?"
"And then?"
"Hmm… At the time, I didn't understand his insult, so I wasn't offended. I just found it odd and asked, what's wrong with girls? Are all girls weak?"
Qiu Che thought for a moment. "I can't quite describe his expression then. It was contemptuous, indifferent, like he couldn't even be bothered."
It was almost identical to the way Qiu Chudong had looked at her back then.
"He told me, no girl could ever be stronger than him."
"Oh, I forgot to mention. Eleven years ago, this martial arts master was a renowned expert, undefeated throughout the capital."
Qiu Che propped her chin up, idly twirling a red string around her finger. "So, from that day on, to keep up with his other disciples, I trained twice as hard as them every day."
"And since my father had given his instructions, whenever my master was dissatisfied with me, he would beat and berate me without hesitation."
"I had no power to resist. No right to resist."
Li Qingwu listened, unconsciously holding her breath. She cautiously asked, "Did it hurt?"
"It was fine." Qiu Che glanced at her, as if surprised by such an irrelevant question. She continued, "I never cried out in pain, not because I was born to endure suffering, but because I made another bet with him. I bet that in ten years, I would defeat him."
"And the result?"
"I won," Qiu Che said.
Her tone was calm, composed, as if it was the most natural thing in the world.
Li Qingwu turned to look at her, quietly studying her profile.
Her gaze carried a trace of stunned admiration.
"I mocked him the same way he once mocked me."
Qiu Che let out a short laugh. "Right there in the Qiu residence, in the courtyard, just the two of us. We fought, and I won. Barely."
"He found it shameful to lose to his own disciple, so he left the capital. A year has passed, and now, hardly anyone remembers him."
"I just wonder… if he knew that the one who defeated him wasn't just his disciple, but also a woman…"
Qiu Che chuckled. "I wonder what kind of face he would make."
Li Qingwu smiled, lips curling slightly.
"I won both bets."
"But some people refuse to see the truth until they are beaten down. Some won't wake up until blood is shed."
She paused for a moment and left the last sentence unsaid.
But Li Qingwu understood, she was talking about Qiu Chudong.
"You say there's no path behind you, but am I any different?"
Qiu Che's smile faded as she turned to look at her. "But the path for women in this world has always been treacherous. Someone has to be the one to walk it first."
"I can't just stand by and watch myself sink into the mud, pretending it doesn't matter, watching others fall into the same trap, powerless to stop it."
"You might not believe this, but I don't actually enjoy persuading people to chase a better life. I don't like meddling in others' affairs."
"It's just… since you've chosen to stand by my side, I can't bear to see you live a life of despair, without hope."
"Whether it's business or politics, just try. Learn something. See what suits you."
"And even if you fail, so what? We never had a way out to begin with, did we?"
Li Qingwu was silent for a long time, absentmindedly tracing the lotus patterns on the bird whistle.
Before long, Yu Ming knocked on the study door.
"Master."
"What is it?"
"A guest has arrived."
Qiu Che hesitated for a moment. If it were just any guest, Yu Ming wouldn't have spoken so cautiously.
The visitor's identity must have made him uncertain whether to reveal it in front of Li Qingwu.
Qiu Che had intended to take Li Qingwu with her, but seeing that she was still caught up in her own thoughts, now was not the time.
As she stood up, the motion of her robes stirred a faint breeze, snapping Li Qingwu out of her daze.
Qiu Che twirled the red string around her fingers, tossed a wooden puppet into the air, caught it smoothly, and tucked it into a small wooden box.
Her movements were fluid and effortless.
Then, she bent down, placed the wooden box beside Li Qingwu, and said, "Think it over."
Then, she turned and walked away.
Dressed in plain blue, her tall and slender figure seemed neither frail nor imposing, just someone who could drift with the wind.
She carried no less burden than Li Qingwu, yet she looked so… unrestrained.
So free.
So unreachable.
Just before stepping out, Qiu Che suddenly paused, gripping the doorframe.
Turning back, she said, "Oh, I almost forgot to answer you."
"You were wrong. And I was wrong too."
"You may have married me, but you're not mine. You're not just a part of the Qiu family."
"You are not just the Emperor's daughter. Not just a princess."
"You are yourself, Li Qingwu."
"My mother has forgotten her own name," she said. "You mustn't forget yours."