All of the Loud family were sat in the dining room, eating their breakfast. Lucy was wearing a purple turban while shuffling a deck of cards. "Hey Luce, watcha got there?" Luna decided to ask.
"It's my new deck of fortune telling cards." Lucy explained. "If you guys want, I could give everybody readings."
All of the siblings were immediately interested as they all clamoured for Lucy to read their fortunes. Especially Lynn, who shouted. "Me first, Lucy!"
"It's Madame Lucy." Lucy stated as she shuffled the cards. She then drew one which showed an hourglass on it. "Lynn, your patience will be tested."
Lynn scoffed, waving her hand dismissively. "Please, I've got tons of patience!"
Lucy then drew another card which showed a galleon sailing on the ocean with a sun with a face above it. "Lori, you will go on a long trip."
Lori seemed excited by this reading. "Ooh. Maybe Bobby's taking me to Italy!"
Lucy drew another card. This one showed a castle door opening up to space. "Lola, the universe will open doors for you."
Lola sighed. "I sure hope that's true."
"Poppycock. Could these predictions be anymore non-specific?" Lisa snarked.
Lucy frowned at Lisa before turning to Rick. "Grandpa Rick, would you like your fortune read?"
"Hi. I've placed an auto-response chip in my brain so I can spend time with my family." Rick responded robotically before going back to eating his breakfast.
Everyone then gave Rick a weird look. "Uh, Grandpa Rick, what's going on?" Lori asked.
"Thank you for talking to Rick." There was a beeping sound before Rick gasped. He then stood up. "Alright, I'm finished with my breakfast and my Amazon wish list. I'm going out. Anyone wanna come with?"
Lucy stood up. "I suppose I could come this time."
Lincoln then stood up. "I'll come too." He had decided to come because there was something he wanted to talk to Lucy about.
As the two were about to follow Rick to the garage, Rita then stood up. "Ahem." Rick, Lincoln and Lucy paused before turning to her. "And where exactly are you taking Lincoln and Lucy? You're supposed to tell us what you'll be doing with our kids on these adventures, remember?"
An annoyed frown appeared on Rick's face before he answered. "We're just going to Forbodulon Prime to get some crystals. We won't even be there long."
Rita thought about it for a moment. That didn't really sound bad to her. She nodded. "Ok but try and get Lincoln and Lucy to school on time when you're done."
Rick grumbled to himself before storming off to the garage with Lincoln and Lucy following after him.
...
Lincoln and Lucy were sat in the back of the cruiser as Rick drove it through space. Lincoln then started speaking to Lucy. "I heard that a new issue of Princess Pony came out today."
This caught Lucy off guard as she immediately started to look embarrassed. "O-Oh. Ok." Since the detoxification incident, Lucy had come to accept that there was a part of her that liked pink and girly things. Despite this though, she still felt uncomfortable talking about it, even despite that she knew her family wouldn't judge her for it.
"If you want, we could go over to the comic book store after school to go get it." Lincoln offered.
Wanting to change the subject, Lucy put her purple turban on and got out her fortune telling cards. "I-I just remembered, I didn't look at either of your readings. Would you like me to show you yours, Grandpa Rick?"
Rick shrugged. "Shoot."
Lucy shuffled the cards before drawing one. Lucy frowned as she drew a card that had a viscous looking snake on it. "Hmm. Rick, this card is saying that you will be betrayed by someone close to you."
"Fascinating." Rick said, not really taking Lucy's fortunes seriously.
"Lincoln. Would you like to see yours?" Lucy asked.
"I guess." Lincoln said, unsure after hearing that last reading. Lucy drew a card. She then gasped before quickly putting the card away. "What? What does it say?" Lincoln asked, concerned.
"So, uh, what was that about Princess Pony?" Lucy grinned nervously.
"Lucy, come on! Tell me!" Lincoln begged, desperately.
"Fine. Your day will end in..." Lucy revealed the card which showed the grim reaper. "...tragedy."
"W-What?" Lincoln stammered, suddenly very concerned for his well-being. "Gah!" At that moment, Rick then swerved the cruiser back and forth as he drove through an asteroid field. "Umm, Rick? Maybe we should go a little-"
"Faster?" Rick interrupted. "Good idea, Lincoln. It'll get us through these asteroids sooner."
After making it through the asteroid field, Rick soon landed on a rather barren, rocky planet. Rick and Lucy got out of the cruiser while Lincoln stayed inside, which Rick quickly noticed. "Lincoln, get out of the car."
"Um, no thanks. I think I'll just stay inside here for this adventure." Lincoln smiled nervously.
Rick facepalmed. "Lincoln, it's just a bunch of superstitious bullshit. Now get out." Seeing as Rick likely wouldn't take no for an answer, Lincoln tentatively got out of the cruiser and followed Rick along with Lucy. Eventually, Rick approached what looked like a quartz geode with blue crystals growing inside of it. Rick got out a small pickaxe and started mining for them. "Alright, I need you two to help with these death crystals."
"Death crystals?!" Lincoln exclaimed.
Rick rolled his eyes. "They're not gonna kill you, Lincoln. Death crystals show you how you're gonna die." Rick then handed Lincoln a crystal.
Immediately, Lincoln saw visions of himself being blown up, crushed, falling to his death and other various ways of dying. While some of them showed Lincoln dying at different stages of his life, some of them looked like they could happen in the near future. He yelped as he dropped the crystal. "What was that?! Why is it showing me dying so many times?"
"Those are just possibilities." Rick explained. "Your future stems from your present, which, if you're living right, keeps changing." Curious, Lucy then picked up the crystal. She gasped as she saw visions of herself being drowned, burned and shot at before dropping it. Rick himself could see different visions of his death as he was mining the crystals. "Truth is, anyone that knows how they're definitely gonna die is either boring as hell..." Rick then could only see one vision of his death. Him getting shot at as he was currently mining. "Or about to get shot. Duck!" Rick grabbed both Lincoln and Lucy and ducked, barely missing a shot from a laser gun before running behind the geode, carrying Lincoln and Lucy with him. They were currently being fired at by a trio of grey aliens that looked like they were wearing black masks though it almost seemed like the masks were actually part of their faces.
"What's going on?! Who are those guys?!" A frightened Lincoln asked.
"Crystal poachers. There's no lower form of life." Rick explained.
Lincoln started hyperventilating. "This is it. We're dead. We are so dead!"
Rick groaned in annoyance. "Picked a hell of a day to make Lincoln paranoid about dying, huh Lucy?"
"You didn't exactly tell us we'd be getting death crystals." Lucy argued.
"Well I didn't really feel like having to explain the concept to your mom." Rick countered as he got out some tape and taped the crystal to his forehead. "You're about to witness the only real use for these crystals. They show you when the other guy's reloading." Rick could only see one vision of himself dying which showed him getting shot after he peaked his head out from behind the geode. "Certain death, certain death, certain death." Rick then saw a bunch of different visions of his death again. "Uncertain death." Rick got up and managed to shoot two of the poachers. The third one then hid behind a rock pillar as he reloaded. Once again, Rick only saw one vision of himself being shot by the poacher. He went back to hiding as the poacher slowly approached the geode. "And certain death, certain death, certain death. Definitely gonna get shot by this guy; this is totally my fate; nothing I could possibly do." The poacher then ran out of ammo. "Ok, now not so much." Rick got up and shot the last poacher. "Help me gather these up."
...
Rick, Lincoln and Lucy had just about finished gathering the crystals, putting them all in a box that Rick had brought with him. Lincoln was still nervous as he kept looking around. "Are you sure you got all those poachers?"
"Positive, Lincoln." Rick responded. "Obviously if there were any still around, the crystals would help me see them."
Once they had finished, Rick picked up the box and carried it over to the cruiser with Lincoln and Lucy following him. Unbeknownst to Rick, Lincoln had pocketed one of the crystals for himself. He thought that they may help him avoid his day ending in tragedy. "So are you gonna use these to win fights?" Lincoln asked as he held onto the crystal in his pocket.
"I don't use them. People that spend their life avoiding death are already dead. They're also rich, and I like to spend my life with their money." Rick explained.
Lincoln barely paid much attention as Rick talked as he currently saw different visions of his death. Suddenly, Lincoln paused as he saw only one vision of his death. He was an elderly man, sleeping in bed while an elderly Ronnie Anne was at his bedside, comforting him. "Whoa..." Lincoln honestly couldn't think of a better way to go out. He stuck his free hand out. Upon moving moving it to the left or right, the vision went away. It came back whenever he faced Rick's cruiser. Lincoln decided to try and stay on this path as it would certainly save him from whatever tragedy that Lucy had foretold.
As Lucy got into the cruiser and Rick placed the box of crystals in the trunk, Rick noticed Lincoln slowly approach the cruiser before placing his hand on it and letting out a content sigh. Rick raised an eyebrow at Lincoln as he closed the trunk. "What are you doing?"
"Uh, hey Grandpa Rick, could I drive?" Lincoln asked, seemingly staring off into space.
"Why?"
"I just...wanna practice my driving."
Rick smiled. "Alright! Who's this grandson? I like his style." He got out his keys and threw them towards Lincoln to catch. He ignored them completely as the keys hit the ground.
...
Lucy and Rick were both nervous as Lincoln flew the cruiser dangerously close to the ground, swerving between rock pillars. He was also only driving with one hand while his other hand was in his pocket. "Lincoln, you know outer space is up, right?" Rick asked.
"Yeah, yeah. I'm just, uh, following... my... instincts." Lincoln responded.
"Will you just go up?" Rick then grabbed the wheel and pulled it back, causing the cruiser to fly upwards. This caused Lincoln to lose his vision.
Lincoln pushed Rick away as he flew back down. "Stop! You're gonna make me die wrong!"
"Wait a minute, what? Lincoln, do you have a death crystal in your pocket?"
"No...maybe."
"You're seriously that paranoid over some dumb fortune telling cards?" Rick snapped before turning to Lucy. "You see what you've done, Lucy?"
"Lincoln, I don't think this is the best way to avoid tragedy." Lucy said nervously.
"There is no tragedy, now stop the car!" Rick shouted before grabbing the wheel.
"No!" Lincoln exclaimed as he and Rick tried wrestle the wheel away from each other, causing the cruiser to swerve back and forth.
"You son of a bitch! Give me the wheel, Lincoln!" Rick shouted. As they struggled, they suddenly crashed into a small rock pillar. While Lincoln and Lucy had their seatbelts on, Rick had forgotten to wear his which caused him to go flying out of the cruiser before landing on a spiked rock, impaling and killing him.
Lincoln stared in shock while Lucy let out a horrified gasp. "Lincoln! What have you done?!"
Both of them got out of the cruiser to look at what happened to Rick. Both could only stare in horror as Rick appeared to truly be dead.
"I will avenge my death."
Both of them yelped and turned to see what they first thought was Rick's ghost. Upon closer inspection however, they quickly realised it was just a hologram. "Just kidding. I'm a crisis detection and correction hologram generated by a chip that 'real' Rick put in your spines. 'Real' in quotes because calling density-privileged entities 'real' is incredibly holo-phobic. Lincoln, do me a solid... problematic wordplay aside... grab the gun with the blue handle from the trunk and get a tissue sample from the corpse."
Both Lincoln and Lucy blinked in surprise. "Wait, so does that mean Rick isn't really dead yet?" Lincoln asked.
Lucy looked around. "I can't sense his spirit anywhere. Sigh." She sighed in relief. Lincoln grabbed the crystal again. Upon seeing that he hadn't lost his vision, he also sighed in relief.
Lincoln then did as Hologram Rick said and went over to take a tissue sample from Rick's corpse. "Alright, now take that to the trunk and insert it into the clone compiler." Lincoln did as he said though he got out his death crystal before inserting the device into the clone compiler. It seemed like whenever the device got close to the clone compiler, he would lose his vision. "I see you appear to be holding a death crystal that's guiding your decisions more than I am."
"Lincoln, what are you doing?" Lucy asked. Lincoln then put the device in the trunk before shutting it and grabbing Lucy's arm. "Hey!"
"I just want to remind you that some people can't hold anything and can never die, so that's a little offensive to..." As Hologram Rick spoke, Lincoln dragged Lucy into the cruiser before driving off into space. "Oh, ok."
Lucy really regretted telling Lincoln his fortune as he drove through space. "Lincoln, I know you're a little paranoid right now, but you really should be bringing Rick back to life."
"I can't." Lincoln responded. "If I do that, I might lose the chance to die the way I want. Plus, this might be the only way to avoid that tragedy you predicted."
"So you're just going to let Rick stay dead?" Lincoln didn't respond. "Lincoln?"
Hologram Rick then appeared at the side of the cruiser. "Listen, I'm programmed for tolerance, Lincoln. So I'm willing to accept that you're doing this if you're willing to accept that you need to stop."
...
After he had died, the first thing Rick heard was a robotic voice saying. "Accepting. Rerouted. Backup. Data. Operation. Phoenix. Initiated."
Rick awoke in some kind of vat before it opened up, letting him and the fluid out. He fell to the floor, coughing, before looking around at what appeared to be his underground lab. "What the hell? I axed this protocol." There didn't seem to be any sign of the spare body he had for Lynn so it seemed extremely likely that his consciousness got transferred to a body from another universe. The entryway to this lab seemed to be different as he needed to climb up a shaft to get back up to the garage. Upon reaching it and opening up the hatch, the door opened up as another Rick wearing a dressing gown and holding a martini glass came in. Rick covered his eyes for a moment due to the light coming from inside the house. By the looks of things, it appeared to be the middle of the night.
"What are you doing with my clone?" The other Rick asked.
"It's okay. I'm you." Rick assured him. "I took my own clone vat offline a couple months ago, so I think my backup got rerouted to your universe. I'm sorry."
"All good. Happy to help. By the way, annoying that I even have to ask, but you are down with fascist dystopias, right?" The other Rick turned on the lights. Rick stared in shock as the lab was covered in nazi flags. He also noticed a photo of this Rick shaking hands with the President, both wearing nazi uniform. The photo was signed 'Rick - Thanks for sterilising China'.
"YYYYYes." Rick said slowly, smiling nervously.
Fascist Rick picked up a gun. "That 'yes' was pretty..." He cocked his gun. "... liberal with the letter Y."
"What is going on in here?" Shouted this universe's version of Lola, who was wearing nazi uniform as she stomped into the garage. "You know how much I hate change, Rick!"
Upon seeing Nazi Lola, Rick pinched the bridge of his nose. "Really? We're really doing this? We're seriously doing 'Nazi Lola', huh?"
"Go back to practising your blackface makeup, Lola." Fascist Rick ordered. "Grandpa just needs to kill a socialist."
An evil grin appeared on Nazi Lola's face. "I have a better idea." She then got out a gun and shot Fascist Rick, killing him.
Rick raised a confused eyebrow. "Ok?"
"He was an inferior Rick. He was too political." Nazi Lola explained. "Now take me on an adventure! One that's like how it was in the old days! I don't want any dumb politics in my adventures!"
Rick climbed out of the shaft. "Look, no offence Nazi Lola but you look like what some twenty-something year old with nothing better to do would make on 4chan so if you don't mind, I'm just gonna-"
Nazi Lola aimed her gun at Rick. "YOU WILL GO WHERE I WANT YOU TO GO!"
Rick slumped. "Fuck."
...
Lincoln was at Royal Woods middle school with both Hologram Rick and Lucy following him. "Couldn't you just give me the device so I can bring back Rick?" Lucy asked.
Lincoln got the device out of his pocket before putting it back in. "Sorry Lucy, I can't do that either. I can't risk this."
"Come on, Lincoln!" Hologram Rick exclaimed, starting to sound frustrated. "Y-You know Lucy was probably just making up that whole fortune thing, right Lucy?"
"Uh, r-right." Lucy stammered.
Lincoln raised an eyebrow at them. "How do I know you're not just making that up so I can bring Rick back to life?"
"I can't wait this long!" The three looked over to see Lynn at the back of a long line to the bathroom, doing some jumping jacks. "Don't gotta go. Don't gotta go."
Lincoln gestured towards Lynn. "See? Lynn's getting her patience tested. Lucy's fortunes were real! Look, I'm sorry but I really need to get to class."
"Wow, he's really letting paranoia get the best of him." Hologram Rick remarked as Lincoln walked off.
"Sigh. I know how he feels."
Hologram Rick raised an eyebrow at Lucy. "Huh."
"I've been hiding a part of myself because I've always been scared of people judging me. I didn't want people to make fun of me or think me being goth was just a phase. Even after my family found out, I still felt paranoid about talking to them about it." Lucy looked down in shame. "Maybe I shouldn't have judged them. If I didn't try to avoid the subject earlier, this might not have happened. I need to fix this."
...
Rick, now wearing clothes again, and Nazi Lola were in the cruiser, flying through space. For some reason, this universe's versions of Gearhead and Benny were sat in the back. "Not gonna lie, not exactly comfortable with going on an adventure with a nazi." Rick remarked.
Nazi Lola humphed. "Sounds to me like you just can't tolerate diversity of opinion."
"Lola, you're literally a nazi." Rick retorted.
Nazi Lola aimed her gun at Rick's head. "Shut up and stop doing meta-commentary. I just want to go on a simple, fun, classic adventure."
"Ok, you know what? It would really help if you could just say anything other than what you don't want."
Nazi Lola thought for a moment. "I like Mr. Meeseeks."
"Ok, now we're talking. You know what? I usually keep a Meeseeks box in my glove compartment, so maybe Fascist Rick does, too." Nazi Lola opened up the glove compartment and got out a Meeseeks box. Rick smiled. "Ah! Well, look at that. Now we're doing something we've done before."
Rick pressed the button on the Meeseeks box, spawning a Meeseeks. "I'm Mr. Meeseeks!" Mr. Meeseeks exclaimed.
"Kill this nazi bitch!" Rick suddenly shouted, pointing at Nazi Lola.
"Can do!" Mr. Meeseeks said before attempting to strangle Nazi Lola. "Come here you little bitch!"
"Get off me!" Nazi Lola shouted angrily. As she tried to fight Mr. Meeseeks, she accidentally fired her gun twice. The first shot hit Benny in the head, killing him. The second shot hit the front window, shattering it and causing everyone in the cruiser to be sucked out into the airless void of space.
...
"Accepting. Rerouted. Backup. Data. Operation. Phoenix. Initiated."
Once again, Rick woke up to being let out of a vat. This time though, he had the body of a shrimp. Rick coughed again. "Aw, come on, man."
He climbed the shaft into the garage where he immediately saw Shrimp Rick, wearing a dressing gown, who turned the lights on. "Whoa, are you okay?" Shrimp Rick asked.
"Yeah, sorry. I'm a Rick from another reality. I-I got uploaded to your clone vat." Rick explained as Shrimp Rick helped him up into the garage.
Shrimp Rick waved his claw dismissively. "Hey, don't worry about it, man. I have a dozen."
Shrimp Luan then came into the garage. "Woah! Another Rick? That's shrimply insane!" She joked before laughing. "Get it?"
"Get out of here, Luan, nobody likes your puns!" Shrimps Rick snapped.
"Geez, alright already!" Shrimp Luan huffed before crawling off.
Shrimp Rick turned back to Rick, smiling again. "So, tell the truth, man. No shame. You're looking at your shrimp body like 'What?!'"
Rick looked slightly embarrassed. "Ah, is it that obvious? I'm sorry. Yeah, my original body is more bipedal... uh, ape-descended."
"Really! Weird. Does your house look like a tree, or..."
"No, it looks like this." Rick gestured to the house. "It's, like, identical to this, actually."
Shrimp Rick shook his head. "That is such a mind fuck."
"It's all good, man. I'm fine with it. Honestly, you're doing me a huge favour by being shrimp instead of fascists." Shrimp Rick suddenly frowned, glancing to the side. Rick raised an eyebrow. "What?"
...
Rick ran down the street which was adorned with nazi flags. It looked like this version of Royal Woods was a war zone by the looks of some of the abandoned or burning buildings and tipped over cars. Rick could also hear gunfire in the distance. "Goddamn it! When did this shit become the default?!" Due to not being used to this body, Rick wasn't able to run very fast as the police soon caught up with him and beat him to death.
...
Lincoln was in the middle of math class as Mr. Goldenfold was drawing some equations on the chalkboard. "Who wants to come up to the board and show me some basic-ass integers?" He then asked. Lincoln still had hold of the death crystal. It seemed to be guiding him to get up and make his way over to the chalkboard. "Lincoln? That's a first." Mr. Goldenfold remarked. Lincoln picked up a piece of chalk and drew what looked like a scribble under the equation. Mr. Goldenfold gave him a confused look. "That's not an integer!"
"Apparently, it doesn't matter." Lincoln said before putting down the chalk and making his way out of the classroom.
Surprisingly enough, Mr. Goldenfold seemed impressed. "Damn, Lincoln, you may not be the best at math, but I'm giving you an A-plus in confidence."
"Just doin' what I gotta do." Lincoln said as he left the room.
"Extra credit!"
Not long after that, class had ended and everyone was out on their break. As Lincoln walked through the halls, Lucy soon found him and ran up behind him. "Lincoln, I need you to give me that death crystal."
"Ah!" Lincoln jumped, causing him to accidentally throw the crystal down the hall. "Oh no!" Lincoln quickly ran over to it.
"Lincoln, wait!" Lucy ran after him.
Before Lincoln was able to pick it up, someone stepped in front of him. "Where are you going, doofus?" Hank taunted.
"Drop something?" Hawk teased before picking up the crystal. His smug obsession immediately turned into one of fear. "Ahh!" He dropped the crystal which Lincoln scrambled to pick up.
"Bro, what's wrong?" Hank asked.
"I-I don't know!" Hawk stammered. "I just saw myself die a bunch of times, bro!" He put a hand over his mouth. "I think I'm gonna barf."
"Aw, don't barf! That'll make me barf!" Hank then noticed Lucy. "Hey, I remember you! You're that creepy girl that set up that maze!"
Hawk scowled. "I bet she made that weird crystal too!"
Hank cracked his knuckles. "I think some payback is in order." Hawk then did the same.
Lucy stepped back fearfully before Lincoln stepped in front of him. "Hey, leave her alone! Go pick on someone your own size!"
Hank and Hawk both chuckled. "What? You think you can take us on?" Hank asked.
"Alright then." Hawk continued. "After school, you're dead, doofus!" The two chuckled to themselves before walking off.
"Thanks for standing up for me." A grateful Lucy said. "But what are you going to do about them?"
Lincoln's eyes widened as he lost his vision and saw multiple possible deaths. Some of which involved Hank and Hawk. "Oh no! What have I done?!"
Hologram Rick then appeared, eating from a holographic bucket of chicken. "Well, well, well." He said with a smug look on his face. "Mm. Looks like you got yourself in a lick of trouble, huh, Lincoln."
"It'd probably be best if we brought Rick back to life now." Lucy advised.
Lincoln nodded. "Ok. You're right." He then gave Hologram Rick a strange look. "Wait, why are you pretending to eat chicken?"
"Excuse me?" An offended Hologram Rick exclaimed. "This chicken is quite real to me."
"But you're not actually eating anything."
"Well then, since your food isn't holographic, to me you're not actually eating anything. Or we could try respecting each other."
Lincoln gave Hologram Rick an annoyed look. "Just show me how to bring Rick back to life."
...
Lincoln, Lucy and Hologram Rick had left school to return home. They were all currently in the garage. "Alright so to bring back Rick, you're gonna need to go down into the subterranean lab. That's where all the cloning equipment is." Hologram Rick instructed. However, Lincoln had decided to hold on to the crystal again. He appeared to be looking around for something as the vision of his perfect death had come back. "Please tell me you're not hitting that crystal again."
"Lincoln, please stop this." Lucy pleaded as Lincoln looked at the side of Rick's sink. "I know you're worried and I'm sorry about telling you your fortune but you need to be rational about this."
"She's right, Lincoln." Hologram Rick said. "Look, Rick might be the epitome of bloated flesh privilege, but he's right about one thing. You're gonna be a lot happier if you focus on the moment, rather than on how you're gonna die. I mean, w-who's worried about that, huh?"
Lincoln had a found a button at the side of the sink. Pressing it then revealed a keypad. He then let the crystal guide him to press the right buttons. "Sorry but...I just can't risk it. I'm going with the crystal."
Whatever code Lincoln inputted appeared to be correct as the garage walls flipped around, revealing Rick's arsenal. "Oh, alright, ok. Just because I can't interact with solid matter means you can just walk all over me?" Lincoln ignored Hologram Rick as he grabbed some of the weapons. "Dear God!"
"Lincoln, what are you doing?" Lucy asked in a worried tone. Lincoln ignored her as he made his way out of the garage. "Lincoln?!"
"Hoo boy. This probably won't end well." Hologram Rick remarked.
"I have to stop him!" Lucy stated before looking around. She then noticed a button on the wall. The one that revealed all of the Full House Gang costumes. An idea then came to mind.
...
Rick coughed and spluttered as he was let out of another vat, now in the body of a teddy bear. Immediately, Teddy Bear Rick lit a flashlight on him. "Bist du faschistisch?
Rick looked around the underground lab to see that it was decorated in nazi imagery. "Nope." Rick got up and smashed his head against the vat.
...
Lincoln arrived back at school to see Hank and Hawk waiting outside of the entrance. He now had the crystal taped against his forehead. Hank immediately noticed him. "Hey, there he is! Get him!"
Both he and Hawk charged towards Lincoln. Hank threw a punch towards Lincoln, only for him to quickly dodge it and place some kind of orb on Hank that stuck to him. "Hey, what the-" The orb then electrocuted him for a moment before he fell unconscious.
Hawk stared in shock for a moment before yelping and running away in fear. Lincoln aimed one of his guns at him that shot some kind of white fluid that caused Hawk to be stuck to the ground. He showed very little emotion as he did all of this. He then heard some police sirens and turned to see that the police had arrived. "We've got an Akira-type situation going on in front of Royal Woods Middle School. Over." Lincoln heard one of the police say into his two-way radio as he and the other officer got out of the car.
"Have to avoid dying..." Lincoln said in a dull tone before aiming some kind of device at the police and firing a laser at them.
Before the laser could hit the police, however, Lucy had arrived, now dressed as the Eight of Spades. She got in the way of the shot and managed to disperse it by spinning her shovel. "Lincoln, you're going too far! This needs to stop!" While Rick couldn't perfectly replicate the powers that the Eight of Spades had in Lincoln's comic as she wasn't able to summon spirits to do her bidding, Rick was able to infuse her outfit with some kind of magic as she created what appeared to be a portal made from darkness before jumping into it. The portal disappeared then reappeared behind Lincoln. Lucy jumped out of the portal and swung her shovel at him, only for Lincoln to quickly block her using an energy shield. Lucy kept her shovel pressed against his shield as she reached one of her hands out towards him. "Give me that death crystal!"
After getting over the shock of what just occurred in front of them, the police then aimed their guns towards Lincoln. "Stand down or we will shoot!"
Surprisingly, Lincoln then put down his shield and put his hands in the air. One of the police officers slowly and cautiously approached him before placing handcuffs on him. "Why are you letting me do this?" The officer asked nervously.
"I do as the crystal guides." Lincoln responded robotically.
...
Lucy, now back in her normal clothes, was sat in the courtroom for Lincoln's trial. It surprised her how fast it was for this trial to be set up since it had only been an hour since Lincoln had committed the crime. "Lincoln Loud, you have been charged with two cases of assault and attempted murder of law enforcement. How do you plead?" The female judge asked.
Lincoln narrowed his eyes in concentration before he started speaking slowly. "I... w-w-will a-al-sways... always r-r-remember o-our... our... our... v-v-t-time... time... i-in... f-g-g-g-P-P-Peru. I will always remember our time in Peru, your Honour." The judge gasped.
Lincoln's lawyer stood up. "Your Honour, as you can see, my client is speaking nonsense."
"Stop." The judge stood up and walked over to Lincoln. "Those were my husband's last words."
Lincoln continued talking. "He says that he... l-loves you... ttt-llll-lit-lit-little... little ff-gg-sp-spa-ffggarrow... sparrow! He loves you, little sparrow."
The judge sobbed. "He's innocent. Case dismissed. I'm coming for you, Condor!" The judge left as the rest of the courtroom started murmuring to themselves.
...
Lucy followed Lincoln out of the courthouse to be met by the press and a large crowd. As the press quickly bombarded Lincoln with questions, he raised his hand, causing them all to gasp and go silent. He then made some strange howling noises for a while. Once he was finished, everyone simply glanced at each other before walking off, leaving Lincoln alone. "I can't believe you somehow managed to get away with all of that." Lucy remarked. Lincoln then walked off. She ran after him. "Lincoln, being this paranoid is bad enough but you're paranoia is starting to hurt people. This needs to stop! This is no way to live."
Lincoln seemed like he was in a daze as he stumbled off. "Must...make sure...I...die...perfectly." Lucy wasn't sure what she could do at this point.
...
Rick, now in a wasp body, climbed up the shaft into the garage. The lights immediately turned on as Wasp Rick stood in front of him. "Whoa! Way to use up a clone! What the fuck, man?" Wasp Rick snapped. He then noticed that Rick looked rather nervous. "What's the matter with you? Y-Y-You don't talk? Tarantula got your tongue?"
"Uh... Heil, Wasp Hitler?" Rick said apprehensively.
Wasp Rick raised an eyebrow at Rick. "What? What the fuck? Where's that shit coming from?"
"Look, I'm a primate. I-I'm having a hard time. I'll think or say whatever gets me home." Rick explained.
"Well, here's how it works with wasps. We eat our prey alive, and when we don't, we lay our eggs in their eyeballs so that our young can feast on their brains when they hatch." Wasp Rick's expression softened. "When you're born that big an asshole, the least you can do is have a little empathy. Now, come have dinner with my beautiful family. And drop the Hitler stuff." He offered Rick a hand to help him up.
...
Rick joined Wasp Rick's family for dinner, which appeared to be a caterpillar version of Flip that was still alive and screaming in pain. "Uh, I'm sick of caterpillar. Couldn't we have something like chicken for once?" Wasp Lana complained.
Wasp Lola gave Wasp Lana a disgusted look. "Gross Lana! Only you would actually wanna eat chicken." She then continued feasting on Caterpillar Flip, who screamed in pain.
"Kill me! Please kill me!" Caterpillar Flip wailed.
"Uh, Rita, uh, after dinner, could I maybe borrow Lincoln to help the lost Rick get back to his primate-based reality?" Wasp Rick asked Wasp Rita.
"Actually, me and Lynn were gonna hang out after this. She wanted to teach me how to hunt for prey." Wasp Lincoln interjected.
"We could just start tomorrow if it's important." Wasp Lynn added.
Wasp Rick shook his head. "Nah, it's no big deal. You kids have fun out there." Rick raised an eyebrow at this interaction.
"Could you pass the acid?" Wasp Rita asked Wasp Lynn Sr.. After he passed it to her, she poured some on Caterpillar Flip who screamed in pain again.
Caterpillar Flip then gave birth to some caterpillar larvae. "Run my babies!"
"I call dibs!" Wasp Lynn exclaimed before devouring the larvae. Caterpillar Flip continued wailing in pain.
...
After dinner, Rick followed Wasp Rick into the garage as Wasp Rick went to look for his portal gun. "You know, I'm kinda surprised you didn't take the chance the let Lincoln help you when you had it." Rick remarked.
Wasp Rick sighed. "To tell you the truth, I think hanging with Lynn is making Lincoln stupider." He then shrugged. "But hey! It's what they want and if it makes them happy, who am I to complain?"
Rick was silent for a moment before he said. "I see."
...
Rick and Wasp Rick exited the portal into Rick's garage where they saw Lucy looking around. Upon noticing them, she gave them a confused look. "Uh, what's going on?"
"Lucy it's me." Rick explained. "I didn't properly disable the Operation Phoenix protocol so my consciousness got transferred to another reality."
Lucy sighed in relief. "Sigh. At least you're alive. But then what would have happened if we did clone you?"
"Who cares. Now where's Lincoln?"
"He still has the crystal." Lucy explained. "That crystal's driven him insane. I don't even know where he's gone now."
"Damn, your Lincoln sucks." Wasp Rick remarked.
Hologram Rick then appeared. "Aah, wasps!" He attempted to run away, only to run in place.
"Why the hell didn't you show Lincoln how to bring my body back to life?" Rick asked angrily. "Don't tell me you gained sentience and tried to take over."
Hologram Rick turned and gave Rick an offended look. "What? That is some A.I., racist, accusatory, Isaac Asimov bullshit right there."
"Then what happened? Where's Lincoln?"
An amused expression appeared on Hologram Rick's face as he folded his arms. "Oh, you're gonna love this."
...
Somehow, Lincoln had found himself in the middle of the desert. There was some kind of device strapped to his left arm. He pressed the button on it which caused his eyes to turn blue and his veins to turn red. Then, some kind of black abomination appeared at Lincoln's foot before enveloping his entire body and growing into what looked like a giant tree. Lincoln was in the centre of the abomination tree with his arms and legs restrained while the tree was feeding him something. Lincoln didn't care however as he could still see the vision of his perfect death. "This is my life. This is good." He thought to himself. However, a portal of darkness appeared in front of him. Lucy, back in her Eight of Spades outfit, jumped out and grabbed the crystal from Lincoln's forehead quicker than he was able to react. "Ah!" Rick, now back in a normal body and riding Wasp Rick, blew up a hole in the tree as Wasp Rick flew in. Rick then quickly grabbed Lincoln and Lucy before Wasp Rick flew back out. The abomination still had hold of Lincoln for a moment before Rick blasted it, freeing him. As they rode on Wasp Rick, Lincoln started panicking. "What happened?! I can't see my own death!"
"Shh, everything's gonna be alright." Rick assured him. "It's gonna be alright. You don't get to know how you're gonna die."
Lucy then wrapped her arms around Lincoln to calm him down. "It's over. Everything is going to be okay."
The tree then shrunk back down into a puddle before Hologram Rick stepped on it. Somehow, the abomination started to grow around him. "Oh, hey. This fucking ferrofluid's wrapping around my legs." As it grew around him, it caused Hologram Rick to suddenly become physical. He started grinning. "Fuck! I can feel! I have mass!" He then started to grow into a giant. "I'm a fucking god now! You're fucked!"
Lincoln stared at the giant Rick in shock. "What? But I thought you were proud to be a hologram."
"That's 'cause I had to fucking be one!" The giant Rick responded before swinging his hands at them. Wasp Rick managed to dodge them a couple times before the giant Rick managed to slap Rick, Lincoln and Lucy off of him as they fell to the ground. Wasp Rick then flew towards the giant Rick and stung him in his eye, causing him to scream in pain. "Shit! Aaah! Ugh!" He writhed in pain for a moment before wasp eggs came out of his nose and into his mouth as he screamed. A moment later, a group of baby Wasp Ricks then bursted out of his face and flew off.
After Wasp Rick landed next to Rick, Lincoln and Lucy, Rick remarked. "There's a lesson here, and I'm not the one that's gonna figure it out."
Lincoln still seemed rather nervous. "But...but...I need that crystal! What about that tragedy."
"Lincoln, with everything that's happened, wouldn't you say it's already ended in tragedy?" Lucy asked.
Lincoln looked over at the giant Rick corpse as he thought about everything that had happened over the day. He started to look guilty. "You have a point. Man, I really messed up today. I'm sorry."
"Sigh, it's okay. I know what it's like to be irrationally paranoid. Let's both agree to stop it."
Lincoln nodded. "Agreed."
...
After Wasp Rick had returned to his universe, Rick, Lincoln and Lucy had also returned home. Rick was currently working on his cruiser when Lincoln approached him, holding two glasses of lemonade. He offered one to Rick. "Hey, Grandpa Rick. Sorry again for everything that happened today and accidentally killing you. You were right. You can't live your life in fear, or you'll miss out on it. I should learn to live in the moment a little more."
Rick gave Lincoln an unimpressed look as he took the glass. "Lincoln, please. I was living in the moment all day, and it kept getting me killed by nazis. I think you have to think ahead and live in the moment."
At that moment, Lynn Sr. and Rita came over with worried expressions. "Lincoln, what happened?" Lynn Sr. asked. "We saw you on the news!"
Rita looked furious with Rick. "I thought you were just going to get some crystals! What did you do to make Lincoln try breaking the law?!"
"He didn't do anything! That was all on me." Lincoln interjected.
Rita and Lynn Sr. gave Lincoln a surprised look. "Wait, what?" Rita asked.
"Rick wasn't even here when I was doing all that stuff. Those crystals were able show me how to avoid possibly dying so I stole one without Rick knowing and just did what they said."
Rita and Lynn Sr. stared at Lincoln in surprise for a moment before they started to look mad with him. "In that case, you are grounded, young man!" Rita snapped. "And don't ever try pulling a stunt like that again."
Lincoln looked down in shame. "Yes, Mom." He then made his way back into the house.
Rita then gave Rick an annoyed look. "You know, you didn't tell us that those crystals could show how someone could die. That might have been an important detail that you left out earlier."
"Sorry. My bad." Rick responded.
Rita sighed. "Just please be completely honest with us next time."
She and Lynn Sr. then went back into the house, leaving Rick alone. This was the first moment of peace that Rick had all day as he finally had time to think about something that had been at the back of his mind. When he had touched the death crystals and saw visions of how he could possibly die, there was one vision that stuck out in his head. It was a vision of himself being torn apart by Squanchy, who had a black collar around his neck. Did this mean Squanchy was alive? It was certainly possible.
Then again for all he knew, it could've been an alternate version of Squanchy.