O Death (SCP-2935) was completely sealed off.
The information regarding this project was downgraded from Level 5 security clearance to Level 4.
Additionally, an interactive experiment was approved.
At SCP Foundation's Chiba Site-17, in the heavy containment layer, inside one of the containment chambers—
A recorded video from within O Death (SCP-2935) was being played.
Inside the containment chamber, a massive lizard lay sprawled on the floor, six eyes locked onto the researcher.
Yes, this was the containment room of the Undying Lizard (SCP-682).
Initially, the Undying Lizard showed strong hostility toward the MTF Manifest Destiny that appeared in the video.
Just like it does toward all humans.
It scratched at the chamber walls and expressed a desire to eat the researcher.
However, as the footage played on, the Undying Abomination observed the video more intently.
Researchers noted that the creature clearly began to grow agitated and restless.
Its unease increased the longer it watched.
Eventually, it demanded to know where the video had been recorded.
When the researchers mentioned "O Death(SCP-2935)," the Undying Abomination emitted a sound described by researchers as a "childish squeaking noise."
Then, when the body of another Undying Abomination, discovered within SCP-2935-22, was shown in the footage—
SCP-682 began emitting a loud, high-pitched roar.
It also started violently thrashing and scratching its own outer shell.
This noise continued for several hours.
During this time, SCP-682 sharply demanded:
"Release it before I kill it myself!"
After several hours of this behavior finally ceased—
SCP-682 questioned Foundation personnel:
"What the hell happened inside O Death (SCP-2935)?"
Upon being told that the MTF Manifest Destiny had sealed themselves within O Death—
And had detonated a tactical nuclear warhead—
SCP-682 finally calmed down.
And issued the following statement:
"My sincerest thanks to them!"
When a researcher suggested throwing SCP-682 into O Death (SCP-2935),
The Undying Abomination grew furious.
It attempted to break containment, rip apart the chamber, and devour the researcher.
That researcher, standing just outside the containment cell, raised a middle finger at SCP-682—
And shouted: "1v1 me!"
This completely enraged SCP-682.
It gouged a 30cm-deep dent in the containment wall.
However, due to a prolonged lack of organic intake, its evolutionary state was weakened and it failed to breach containment.
The researcher somehow got hold of a long rod-like device capable of emitting electric shocks.
Honestly, the thing looked suspiciously like a dog-catcher pole.
The researcher then opened the first containment door of SCP-682's chamber.
And proceeded to enter SCP-682's room.
He struck SCP-682's belly with the electric prod.
Predictably, he was eaten by SCP-682.
The Site-17 director hurried to the scene.
After an inquiry, the researcher's identity was revealed—
It was Saguru Hakuba, a Class-A Special Investigator of the SCP Foundation.
This interactive experiment was, in fact, a termination experiment.
The goal: use the Soul Ruby (SCP-963) to engage in an interactive termination attempt on SCP-682.
And prior to the experiment, Investigator Saguru had built the electric prod and declared:
"With this, I'll piss it off real good. I think this should work."
He even made a bet with other Foundation staff.
The odds were as follows:
2:1 — Termination fails, nothing happens.
5:1 — Saguru is eaten and SCP-682 breaks containment and goes on a rampage.
(Note: If during the rampage, the annoying Director Kaito Kuroba is taken down too, the odds double.)
10:1 — Saguru gets stuck inside SCP-682 and can't get out.
20:1 — Total meltdown! For unknown reasons, everyone in the site turns into Haruto.
And so, the termination experiment began!
SCP-682 completely consumed Investigator Saguru, including the Soul Ruby.
This termination attempt lasted nearly a week.
For the first 36 hours, SCP-682 was in a deep sleep.
No external interference had any effect.
After that, SCP-682 began growing massive claws.
The claw material was unlike anything seen before.
It dug its way out of the containment chamber, causing a major containment breach.
Incredibly, SCP-682 only harmed one site director.
Then, it obediently allowed itself to be led back to a new containment chamber.
Afterward, SCP-682 paced nonstop in its chamber for 24 hours.
Then, it fell back into a deep sleep.
Ten hours later, the Soul Ruby (SCP-963) was expelled from SCP-682's forehead.
A containment team recovered the Soul Ruby.
It was then attached to a golden snub-nosed monkey.
After a long coma, Investigator Saguru woke up once again.
Site Director Kaito Kuroba then had a friendly sparring match with the revived Saguru.
It wasn't until O5-1, the Foundation Chairman, personally arrived that this farce finally came to an end.
Looking at the mess all over the site, Haruto was at a loss.
"Can someone please explain to me what the hell just happened?"
Haruto asked through gritted teeth.
Director Kaito pointed at the golden monkey nearby.
"Chairman, it's him. This guy's settling personal scores!"
The monkey wearing the Soul Ruby spoke in human language.
"No, this was a standard interactive termination experiment on SCP-682. It's been done many times before. Containment failure was just an unfortunate accident nobody wanted. It had nothing to do with personal grudges."
Director Kaito ground his teeth.
"You think I'm stupid?! SCP-682 broke out and only chased me! That wasn't random!"
Saguru, in his monkey body, spread his hands.
Given his tiny simian frame, the gesture was especially infuriating.
"Interactive experiments often have unpredictable outcomes. Strange results don't mean anything."
Seeing the two about to start bickering again—
Haruto quickly stepped between the man and the monkey, raising his hands, temples throbbing.
These two didn't even have a deep grudge.
It was just that, before joining the Foundation—
Kaito Kuroba had been a famously flamboyant phantom thief in Japan. Known worldwide for his high-profile heists.
Using the alias Kaito Kid.
And Saguru, who had studied abroad in Paris, was a bona fide ace detective.
He had even been hired to go up against Kaito.
Their past encounters had ended in mixed victories and defeats.
So naturally, some bad blood had formed.
Since joining the Foundation, they'd never gotten along.
More importantly…
Haruto looked at Saguru, now in the body of a golden monkey.
Ever since the O Death incident, where Saguru bound himself to the Soul Ruby—
It felt like he'd completely let himself go.
Haruto vaguely remembered—
The old Saguru had been composed, intelligent, and emotionally stable.
Now…
His intelligence and EQ were still top-notch, but that composure? Nowhere to be found.
And Haruto was proven right.
In the days that followed, he was forced to personally draft a long list of "Things Saguru is Not Allowed to Do."
The document… was absurdly long!
Examples include:
Saguru is not allowed to tell new Foundation researchers that you can tame SCP-682 with a newspaper and rub its belly.
Saguru is not allowed to use SCP-682's infinitely regenerating flesh as an "endless hamburger machine."
Saguru is not allowed to convince anyone to play hide-and-seek with SCP-173 (Peanut).
Saguru is not allowed to talk new staff into a "friendly staring contest" with SCP-096 (The Shy Guy).
Saguru is not allowed to convince D-Class to cough in front of SCP-049 (The Plague Doctor).
Saguru is banned from participating in SCP-239 (The Little Witch) experiments, and from providing any Harry Potter books.
Saguru is not allowed to…
(...and the list goes on.)