The ride home is dead silent. Like suffocating silent. Erin's gripping the steering wheel like it's about to fly away, and I'm sitting there trying not to explode from everything boiling in my chest.
I text Adria like five times in a row.
Where are you?? Are you okay?? ANSWER ME.
My heart's pounding like I just ran a marathon, and I don't even realize I've been holding my breath until my phone buzzes.
"I'm okay. Left just before the cops showed up. I thought you left too."
I exhale so hard it actually hurts.
Thank God.
At least one thing isn't a total mess tonight.
But my brain won't stop spinning.
It's not about the party.
It's not about the cops.
It's Brian.
Of course it's Brian.
We pull into my driveway with the headlights off like we're fugitives or something. Erin finally says something.
"Is Adria okay?"
"Yeah," I nod, still catching my breath. "She's home."
There's a pause. He looks at me from the corner of his eye. "What about you?"
"What about me?" I ask, instantly on guard.
"Are you okay?" he says it gently, like he actually means it. And that makes it worse.
"Yeah. I mean… I think so?" My voice sounds unsure, even to me.
He nods, then sighs. "I'm sorry. About earlier."
"Sorry?" I blink at him.
"I shouldn't have dragged you into that. Especially knowing… you know. The Brian stuff."
"There is no Brian stuff."
He gives me a look. "Really?"
"I mean, maybe… there was something. Or maybe I just made it up in my head, I don't even know anymore," I mumble, suddenly wanting to crawl under the seat.
"Well, either way. I shouldn't have put you in that situation."
"Erin. You literally pulled me out of a nightmare. If anyone should be sorry, it's me for dragging you into it."
He looks away, and—wait.
Are his ears turning red?
I squint at him. "Oh my god. Are you seriously blushing right now?"
"No," he mutters, glaring out the window.
"You sooo are!"
"Stop," he says, but he's smiling now. Barely. It's cute. Dangerously cute.
I laugh, and for a second, things feel… okay.
"See you around?" I say, already reaching for the door.
"Yeah." His voice is low, and when I glance back, his eyes are still on me. Watching.
I climb through my window like I've done a hundred times before.
But tonight?
Brian's already there.
In his window.
Watching me.
His eyes meet mine, but they're different—harder. Confused. Mad.
And then he pulls the curtain shut.
My stomach drops.
What the hell just happened?
Monday: Brain = Still BrokenI'm trying SO HARD to act normal.
Spoiler: failing miserably.
Brian's pretending I don't exist.
Like, literally. Walks past me in the halls like I'm air
I should not be obsessing over this.
But I am.
And I hate how much it bugs me.
I should be happy.
Right?
Wrong.
Brian hasn't looked at me all day. Not once. Which is weird because he always looked. He always cared. But now?
It's like I don't exist.
And yeah, maybe I should be happy about that. Isn't that what I wanted? Space? Peace?
Then why do I feel like screaming?
After history class, I catch him leaning against his locker, talking to freaking Ivy Miss Perfect Ponytail Cheerleader Queen, with her fake laugh and her stupid perfect cheerleader uniform.
She laughs — all flirty and obnoxious — and touches his arm like she owns it.
And he lets her.
Ridiculous
When she leaves I march up to him before my brain can stop me.
"Hey."
He turns and actually looks shocked it's me. What? I'm invisible now?
"Hey," he mumbles and immediately starts pretending to dig through his empty bag like it contains the meaning of life.
"About the art project," I say flatly. "We're not done and We need to finish it."
"Yeah. Sure. Whatever"
He still won't look at me.
"Okay… so when?"
"When what? He says
" when are we gonna finish it?" I say suddenly irritated
He shrugs. "I don't know maybe when your free hanging out with Erin."
My jaw drops. "Are you serious right now?"
"You asked," he says, still not looking at me but inside his locker
"This is what this is about?" I say
"You're mad because I got a ride from someone who didn't ditch me in the middle of chaos?"
"I'm not mad," he says defensively
"Really? Because this whole sulky, jealous thing you're doing is kind of giving 'mad.'"
He slams his locker shut. "I'm not jealous."
"Oh Really?" I say sarcastically
"I dont care okay? Your free to do whatever you like"
"Good. So, when are we gonna finish the project?" I say deciding not to prolong this discussion. I don't need to explain myself to him or anyone
He looks me dead in the eye for the first time today. "When you stop pretending Erin's just a ride home."
I flinch.
And then he walks away
Before I can say anything back — not that I even know what I would say — he's already walking away, leaving me standing there, stunned, burning.
LaterI'm storming through the parking lot when Adria pops out of nowhere
"Hey!" Adria beams almost giving me a heart attack.
I clutch my chest dramatically. "Adria! I almost had a heart attack!"
She just laughs. "You're so dramatic."
She grins. "So. I may have done a thing…"
"Oh God. What thing?"
"I told my mom we're having a study group."
"Okay?"
"With me… you… Nate… and Brian."
I blink. "You did WHAT?"
"She wouldn't let me hang with a guy unless you were there! So I said it was a group thing and you know she loves you."
"But it's not a group thing!"
She shrugs. "Well, it is now."
"When is this happening?"
"Tomorrow."
"TOMORROW?!"
Please, Leah," she begs. "I'm not ready to be alone with him. I just… I don't want to mess this up, I need you there"
I groan and rub my face. "Fine. I'll go."
"You're the best."
She laughs, but I can't. Because the second she walks off, my brain is spiraling again.
I'm going to be stuck in a house with Brian.
After everything.
And honestly?
A tiny, traitorous part of me felt something else entirely.
Excited.
I'm doomed.
Completely and utterly doomed.