Chapter 05: Fool's Mate
"A Genius Lives Only One Story Above Madness." – Arthur Schopenhauer
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「April 1st︱Afternoon︱Advanced Nurturing High School 1D's Classroom
After Chabashira Sae's introductory speech, Class D students were eager to depart. Some decided to mingle together in a group to explore the school and get acquainted with each other. Others, particularly loners yearned to go straight to dormitories to avoid any further human communication for the rest of the day. 6 years of elementary school, 3 years of junior high, and finally 3 years of high school. In a typical Japanese high school, the first session begins at 8.00 a.m. 50-minute study period with 10 minute break. After halfway of periods (4 periods), students have a 1-hour lunch break. Lessons continue to last until 3:50 p.m. Once students reach the school complex, they step into an area filled with small lockers to stash street shoes and slip into school-issued shoes. The same happens when students finish their day. A traditional homemade food is filled with rice, eggs, vegetables, and pickled goods. The day ends with students in their respective homeroom for salutations, which ends before 4:00 p.m. Those who participate in club activities, usually last there until about 6:00 p.m.
Sato Maya attempted to invite Horikita Suzune to hang out together with Hirata Yousuke and the others but was rejected instantly. Horikita left the classroom without an ounce of hesitation not concerning herself to glance at Sato. Same way, Yukimura Teruhiko left the classroom without batting an eye at anyone. Sotomura Hideo wanted to go to Keyaki Mall and buy a computer and explore mini anime figures to purchase in the future. Sakura Airi left the classroom right away before anyone had a chance to see her. Ike Kanji and Yamauchi Haruki decided to venture to the game shop centre to lavish their private points on video games. Sudo Ken went through the back door to the nearest convenience store to buy food. Similarly, Miyake pondered going to the convenience store to buy necessities before going to dormitories.
Except for one person.
Hasebe Haruka was conflicted. On the other hand, she wanted to go to the convenience store or ask Yamasaki to come along with her. She did not have anything planned with others. She wanted to leave, maybe go to the nearest convenience store, buy necessities, and go to the dormitories. However, she still wanted to hang out with Yamasaki. She thought they could talk for a little longer, and walk together until the dormitories. After all, he was the first friend she made in the school.
-"I wonder if I should still invite Yamasaki-kun? He might want to hang out with Hirata-kun and other girls. I don't feel like I would be able to get along with that group." - Hasebe thought to herself. Hanging out with one person was one thing. Mingle with the group was a completely different matter. It was too much pressure for an introverted person like her to hang out with a group of unknown people.
Even before the first day had ended, groups already started forming. Specifically, Hirata's group and Kushida's group. Hirata's group was filled with 5 students: Hirata Yousuke, Karuizawa Kei, Sato Maya, Matsushita Chiaki, and Mori Nene. They already made plans to go for lunch at Keyaki Mall and go to an arcade centre.
The second group is Kushida's group. The group has 3 girls: Kushida Kikyo, Inogashira Kokoro, and Mei-yu Wang (or as she prefers to be called Mii-chan). Those girls made plans to go to Keyaki Mall to buy drinks get to know each other, and later do some shopping.
"Hirata will most likely ask me to join Karuizawa's group. From the girls' perspective, I am the only one with close enough status to be in the group without rejection. Hirata would feel more at ease if there was another guy in the group. He will most likely give a pretext of wanting to get to know me better and that it would be easier for me to get closer to others. Of course, that's only a half-truth statement." - Yamasaki has a thorough understanding of Hirata's emotional state and motives.
Yamasaki observed the atmosphere of the class. From the self-introduction section, he already has a general understanding of Class D's future pillars personalities, abilities, attitudes, and Class D's general attitude. Yamasaki observed Karuizawa's group, particularly Hirata. Yamasaki noticed that Hirata was a little uncomfortable with girls for being too close to his personal space. He noticed Hasebe's conflicted expression. It was almost as if she was torn apart between 2 things. Yamasaki already understood what was going on in Hasebe's mind.
"I feel sorry for Hasebe. She is torn apart between choosing to leave and asking me out to hang out with her I won't be able to hang out with her today. I will return the favour later." - Yamasaki perceived Hasebe's emotional state. He promised to himself to make it up for Hasebe. They have exchanged contact information, after all.
Out of nowhere, a particular blond-haired honour student approached Yamasaki.
-"Hey, Yamasaki-kun." - Hirata approached Yamasaki with a warm and serene smile as he left the Karuizawa's group towards Yamasaki.
-"What is it, Hirata?" - Yamasaki asked as if he was oblivious to what Hirata was about to ask.
-"Would you like to join us? It would be a great opportunity for us to get to know you better. Besides, it's more fun with more people." - Hirata commented with a cheerful smile. He wanted to invite Yamasaki to join them to have a good time.
-"Are Karuizawa and the others okay with me being around?" - Yamasaki asked just in case. Yamasaki already knew about Hirata's other reason behind the invitation. Hirata may want to get to know the other boys in the class, but the girls won't accept them. It was no secret that other than Hirata and Yamasaki, no other boys caught their attention.
-"I am sure Karuizawa-san and the others would be happy to have you ever" - Hirata looked at Karuizawa and the other girls asking for permission. Karuizawa glanced at Yamasaki for a moment and nodded. The other girls who followed Hirata's gaze also nodded. Karuizawa's clique are content with Yamasaki hanging out with them for the trip.
-"So, how about it?" - Hirata asked with a kind smile, though there was a hint of worry in his voice.
-"Before that, let me take care of something. Don't worry. This will be over in a minute." - Yamasaki remarked. He briefly glanced at Hasebe. He wanted to address the matter with Hasebe before accepting Hirata's invitation.
-"Of course, Yamasaki-kun." - Hirata somewhat understood Yamasaki's intentions. Hirata did not want to be intrusive. Yamasaki stood up from the seat and went towards Hasebe.
-"Is there something you want to say, Hasebe?" - Yamasaki inquired Hasebe. The truth, he already knew what she wanted to ask, but he asked out of politeness.
-"Would you like to go to dormitories together, Yamasaki-kun?" - Hasebe asked with a worried expression on her face.
-"Hirata asked me out to hang out together. Sorry about that." - Yamasaki apologised to Hasebe.
-"It's okay. Don't worry about it." - Hasebe was a little upset. She was not particularly surprised though. After Yamasaki's introduction, Hasebe knew he would be one of the most popular guys in the class. Naturally, some girls would snatch this opportunity to get to know him.
-"I will make sure to return the favour later on. We exchanged contacts after all." - Yamasaki stated. He did not want Hasebe to feel left out. Under different circumstances, Yamasaki would be happy to hang out with her.
-"It's okay. It's not your fault. But if you insist, you better do so!" - Hasebe showed a teasing expression but beneath it, Hasebe's eyes were filled with relief and happiness.
-"I will get going. I don't want others to wait for long." - Yamasaki commented.
-"See you tomorrow, Yamasaki-kun!" - Hasebe said joyfully before leaving the classroom. Yamasaki returned to his original seat. Next to it, Hirata watched the interaction from a distance.
-"It seems you and Hasebe-san already became friends" - Hirata was happy to see his classmates getting along.
-"It's nice to have someone to talk to." - Yamasaki replied.
-"That's true. It's great to have everyone get along. I hope everyone will feel the same way in the future." - Hirata replied.
"For how long, though?" - Yamasaki knew better. The bitter and harsh reality Hirata is oblivious.
Whether this is simply conscientious stupidity or blissful ignorance, only Hirata knows.
-"We better get going. Let's not keep the girls waiting." - Yamasaki stated.
-"You are right, Yamasaki-kun." - Hirata remembered that they still had girls waiting for them outside the classroom. Hirata and Yamasaki gathered their belongings and headed towards the girls waiting outside the classroom.
-"Sorry to keep you waiting everyone!" - Hirata replied to the remaining Karuizawa group.
-"Let's go already! I want to go to the Keyaki Mall!" - Karuizawa loudly proclaimed. The other girls nodded. Wasting no time, everyone went to the first destination to have lunch - Keyaki Mall.
15 minutes later...
ΨΨΨ🅄🄽🄵🄰🅃🄷🄾🄼🄰🄱🄻🄴🄿🄾🅆🄴🅁ΨΨΨ
Yamasaki and Hirata's group were walking through the popular district towards Keyaki Mall. For the last 30 minutes, the group discussed various topics. It ranged from exchanging contacts to talking about random topics: clothes, food, et cetera. The group decided to stop by a food store to buy food and drinks.
-"This school is something else, huh?" - Mori said.
-"100,000 points every month! This is a dream come true!" - Sato noted with excited expression.
-"I know right? I can finally buy the clothes and the make-up that I wanted!" - Karuizawa exclaimed in joy.
-"It's a bit too much of preferential treatment, though. it would be best not to spend too much." - Hirata advised the girls to manage their money. There is nothing wrong with buying stuff, but it is another matter if you have no self-restraint.
-"What do you think, Yamasaki-kun?" - Matsushita inquired with a curious expression on her face and a teasing smile.
-"About what?" - Yamasaki inquired.
-"About points. Even though this is an elite high school, it is a bit hard to believe we would get this much as mere high-schoolers" - Matsushita further questioned Yamasaki wanting to know what he was thinking.
-"We managed to pass the entrance exams and enter this school. Of course, the school would reward us, Matsushita" - Yamasaki replied nonchalantly to Matsushita's question.
-"I suppose you are right." - Matsushita nodded. Content with the answer.
-"I will get everyone drinks." - Hirata replied not wanting to bother the girls.
-"I will go as well." - Yamasaki volunteered to help Hirata.
-"Thank you, Yamasaki-kun. What drinks everyone would like?" - Hirata inquired the girls in the group.
-"Latte." - Matshushita replied.
-"Cappucino." - Sato answered in a heartbeat.
"Same here." - More replied without much thought as well.
"Well...I guess I will have Macchiato." - Karuizawa gave her order after some thought.
"Got it. We will get back soon." Hirata received everyone's request and headed straight to the destination to buy their respective choices. Yamasaki came along with Hirata.
"Thank you for helping me out, Yamasaki-kun." Hirata said out of the blue as the duo walked towards the cafeteria.
-"What do you mean?" - Yamasaki answered a question with another question.
-"It's a little uncomfortable being surrounded only by girls all the time. Not to be rude, it's just that sometimes girls can be a bit too intrusive." - Hirata was surprised that he shared his true thoughts and feelings so easily.
-"It's alright, Hirata. I came here because I wanted to." - Yamasaki replied nonchalantly. His attention was on the beverages they bought for the group.
-"Even so, it is comforting to have another classmate around." - Hirata casually replied to Yamasaki's curt response with a compliment.
"Paying little attention to the praise from others, yet never hesitant to say a good word about someone else. In addition to Hirata's appearance, and introduction session, Hirata's mature, yet amiable and considerate nature allows him to earn the trust of a majority of our classmates effortlessly. Hirata will undoubtedly end up as one of Class D's representatives, more specifically a conflict mediator." - Yamasaki monologued to himself.
-"Thanks. Let's go. The girls must be waiting for us." - Yamasaki reminded Hirata not to take too much time.
"Of course. I am sure Karuizawa-san and the others are sure to try to get to know you better." - Hirata teased Yamasaki a little.
Yamasaki ignored the comment.
3 minutes later...
The boys returned to the table. Karuizawa, Satou and Mori were talking about the things they would buy at the Kayaki Mall. Matsushita quietly listened to their conversation, while adding a comment once in a while.
Matsushita noticed Hirata and Yamasaki coming back, she waved at them and greeted them with a smile.
-"Thank you for helping us out, Hirata-kun, and Yamasaki-kun" - Matsushita replied with a smile on her expression.
-"It's alright, Matsushita-san." - Hirata replied with a serene smile.
Yamasaki nodded.
-Now that everyone is here, what do we do now? - Sato asked the first thought that crossed her mind.
-"This is just only the first day, Satou-san. No need to exert yourself." - Matsushita replied.
-"Yeah. We can just spend time here." - Mori replied without much thought.
-"Yeah, Satou-san. We have plenty of time to check out the Keyaki Mall," - Karuizawa answered.
-"In that case, has anyone have any ideas?" - Hirata suggested. He wanted to make sure everyone was included and that the activity interested everyone.
-"How about the arcade?" - Yamasaki suggested a relatively simple yet fun activity.
-"That sounds like a great idea, Yamasaki-kun." - Hirata smiled and nodded.
-"I agree, it is not bad once in a while."- Matsushita responded nonchalantly.
-"Indeed." - Mori shared Matsushita's sentiment.
-"Yeah, it is gonna be fun, Yamasaki-kun!" - Satou smiled cheerfully.
-"Well.. I would like to go see the latest fashion trends, but I guess I can wait till tomorrow." - Karuizawa agreed though a little reluctant.
-"Great!" - Sato exclaimed in happiness.
-"Mori-san, what did you do during middle school?" - Hirata politely asked Mori. As a man of peace and serenity, he naturally wanted everyone to engage in the conversation.
-"Hehe.. It's embarrassing to say, I have nothing special to say. I was simply hanging out with my friends in cafes and karaoke, spending just enough time on my studies to pass the exams. Things like that" - Mori answered with a smug expression on her face yet there was a hint of embarrassment in her voice tone.
Mori was self-aware. Apart from her beauty, she has no exceptional abilities or unique characteristics. She was your typical high school who wanted to spend her high school days with close friends. Talking with friends about menial topics, laughed with others about nonsensical jokes, and shared memories with others she could reminisce about in the future. Maybe even engage in a romantic relationship.
However, much like other Class D girls in the class, Mori was disillusioned. Even from the day at school, it did not take a genius to distinguish decent people from others. Mori could not believe that so many guys in the class stared at their assets with no ounce of shame.
It was sickening. It was disgusting. It was unsettling.
A sentiment shared not just by Mori, but by every girl in the class.
In Mori's eyes, the only boys worth paying attention to are Hirata Yousuke and Yamasaki Isao.
Even with a few minutes of conversation, Mori could tell the differences between Hirata and Yamasaki.
Hirata was polite, outgoing, and considerate. Though Hirata can be somewhat overbearing with his pacifist nature, he was a great guy nonetheless.
On the other hand, Yamasaki was less outgoing than Hirata. He was by no means reclusive or socially awkward. He was simply nonchalant, carrying a "vibe" that he was not bothered by anything or anyone.
Nevertheless, Yamasaki was a great guy in his own right.
For starters, He was even more handsome than Hirata. In fact, he is considered to be the most handsome guy in the class. A sentiment shared by many girls in the class.
In addition, Yamasaki was calm, and easy-going, naturally making everyone feel welcomed in a different way than Hirata.
Either way, if any guys in Class D are considered boyfriend material, it's them.
A unanimous agreement was shared amongst all the girls in Karuizawa's group.
-"It's nothing to be ashamed of, Mori-san. Everyone is free to spend their time as they please" - Hirata's response was diplomatic muttered with an empathetic tone.
"How about you Karuizawa-san?" - Mori asked Karuizawa.
"M-me?" - Karuizawa stuttered for a moment.
Was it nervousness? Or was she simply caught off-guard?
"Yeah. What about your friend Karuizawa-san? You must have been quite popular"- Mori repeated the question with a toothy grin.
"Y-Yeah, I was. It is only natural, isn't it?" - Karuizawa stumbled for a moment but answered nonetheless.
From a facial expression alone, nothing seems out of the ordinary...
Only her expression that is.
"Diluted pupils. Fist clenching. suppressed lips. slowed breathing. stagnant body movement. All these factors indicate more than simple discomfort with certain topics. Karuizawa's body language indicates an experience not meant to be experienced. Hirata, Matsushita, and the others did not notice the change in Karuizawa's baseline behaviour just yet. Let's help her out." - Yamasaki has decided not to waste any time and to help out Karuizawa.
"What about a boyfriend? Surely, a trendy girl like you, must have a boyfriend by now? - Now, it was Satou who continued to further inquire Karuizawa, utterly oblivious to Karuizawa's mental state.
"Yeah, Yeah. What about-? - Mori united with Satou in an attempt to get to know Karuizawa better.
Before things could escalate any further...
Splash!
The coffee was all over the table. Yamasaki immediately apologised to the group. Matsushita, Hirata, Satou, and Mori helped him to clean up the mess.
Yamasaki looked up to Karuizawa. Their gazes met. Karuizawa took a deep breath and thanked him through eye contact.
-" I am sorry everyone. I seem to have ruined the mood." - Yamasaki bowed down a little to show sincerity.
-"No, no. It's alright Yamasaki-kun. Everyone is okay, after all." - Hirata commented scratching his right hand to his head, feeling a little awkward with the situation.
-"Yeah. It's all good, Yamasaki-kun" - Matsushita further stated, unbothered.
-"Let's continue with the arcade, shall we?" - Satou blurred out the first comment in her mind to elevate the mood.
-"Of course! Let's not just stand here! - Karuizawa joyfully exclaimed. She seems to have regained her confidence.
The group strolled towards the arcade.
3 hours later...
"It's already 6 p.m., huh?" - Yamasaki muttered to himself while staring at a school-issued phone.
Everyone else in the group left the arcade for personal reasons.
Except for Karuizawa and Yamasaki.
The first one to leave was Mori. She received a text message from a friend. It seems she had to do something and left with vibrant and infectious energy.
The second one to leave was Hirata who left a half hour ago. Hirata stated that he would like to go to the grocery store to buy the necessities. Others showed no objection.
Right after that, Satou left without informing in advance. Only after the remaining group noticed Satou's absence, they received a notification in their group chat. Satou profusely apologised for leaving without telling them everything. Satou has learned from the other girl classmates about the limited fashion designs. She didn't want to wait till the last moment. Others didn't mind Satou's action.
14 minutes later, Matsushita left with a grumpy face and a little pout. Why?
Matsushita has played ice hockey with Yamasaki 7 times, and she lost 6 out of 7 times. Matsushita cutely grumbled about Yamasaki not going easy on her, and left without saying a word.
Honestly, the sight was endearing. Yamasaki didn't take her complaints seriously at all.
"Now, where is Karuizawa?" - Yamasaki recounted Karuizawa strolling on her own after playing a Zombie shooting game. After that, he didn't know where she was or what she was doing.
Yamasaki was wandering around the arcade with no specific location in mind. As he passed by numerous fellow peers enjoying themselves, he found Karuizawa trying her luck to a teddy bear plushie out of a crane machine.
-"Ah! This stupid machine isn't working!" - Karuizawa angrily exclaimed and pouted.
-"What are you doing here, Karuizawa?" - Yamasaki asked a straightforward question.
Karuizawa stared at me tiredly, a face filled with exhaustion and not-so-subtly sadness.
However, the next moment, she put her hands on her hips with a casual yet confident stance.
-"I know what you are thinking. I know these things are scams, Yamasaki-kun."
Yamasaki stayed silent. Asking Karuizawa to continue.
-"You don't get it Yamasaki-kun, do you? It is much more fun to get a reward for your effort, rather than simply pay for it, don't you agree?" - Karuizawa teased Yamasaki while sounding like a teacher offering "wisdom" to her disciple.
-"18 times sure seems more than just a few tries." - Yamasaki stated the obvious.
Karuizawa's face was flushed with embarrassment.
-"Y-you.. saw?" - Karuizawa muttered with a soft voice.
Yamasaki showed a small grin.
-"Yeah, I did." - Yamasaki confirmed Karuizawa's suspicions with smug yet a hint of gentleness.
Right after hearing that, Karuizawa put her face into her palms. It was an amusing sight.
Yamasaki chuckled. He beckoned Karuizawa to come next to him. Karuizawa reluctantly agreed.
Yamasaki paid 200 points for one attempt.
-"The reason you can't catch a plushie is because you aim directly. Instead, aim for limbs." - Yamasaki briefly elaborated on the mechanisms behind successful plushie capture.
-"There" - a crane has caught a teddy bear's right arm. Karuizawa stared intently as if her entire high school life was on the line. Karuizawa closed her eyes. Fear was too much. Fortunately, the plushie did not go down and landed on the retrieving area with a 'pop'.
-"There you go." - Yamasaki gently gave Karuizawa the teddy bear plushie.
-"Eh? Really? Can I have it?" - Karuizawa was bewildered as she received a plushie.
-"Of course, I pulled it for you, Karuizawa." - Yamasaki stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
Karuizawa's cheeks got a tint of red, and she tilted her head slightly away from Yamasaki.
"W-well, thank you." - Karuizawa graciously accepted the gift with a hint of embarrassment.
After that, both left the arcade.
12 minutes later...
As the duo strolled outside the Keyake mall with no particular destination in mind, Yamasaki felt it would be a waste to end a day right away.
-"Karuizawa, I am thinking of going to a restaurant for dinner, wanna come with me?" - Yamasaki politely asked Karuizawa which could be interpreted as more than a dinner.
-"Oh my... Inviting a girl to a dinner date right on the first day... You are a quite feisty boy, Yamasaki-kun" - Karuizawa's reply was playful, insinuating Yamasaki's "ulterior" motive behind the invitation.
-"It's a little boring to eat all by yourself. It is a a waste to end a day like this." - Yamasaki calmly responded unresponsive to Karuizawa's implications.
-"Hmm, so it is a date, then?" - Karuizawa did not give up a verbal battle in an attempt to one-up Yamasaki.
"If that's how you see it, then that's fine by me." - Yamasaki did not give in to Karuizawa's relentless teasing barrage, eventually Karuizawa forfeited the one-sided "competition".
"Then, what are we waiting for? Let's go there! I wanna try out their food!" - Karuizawa's free-spirited expression was filled with cheerfulness and a sense of serenity as she pointed towards the Italian restaurant.
Before she knew it, Karuizawa took Yamasaki's left hand and dragged him towards the restaurant.
1 hour later...
Yamasaki and Karuizawa walked together towards the dormitory. It was almost 7 p.m. The moon was shining bright in the sky with many stars. The wind blew at a moderate temperature. The temperature was just right. Not too hot, nor too cold.
-"Hey Yamasaki-kun" - Karuizawa quietly whispered next to me. "Thank you for earlier."
-"It's fine Karuizawa. You seemed a little downbeat. I just thought that might cheer you up. It's nothing." - Yamasaki redirected the conversation towards Karuizawa. Not considering this a big deal.
-"Even if you say that, I still want to thank you for the good things you did for me. Is there anything I can do to return the favour?" - Karuizawa was insistent. Karuizawa Kei was not one to dismiss the other person's goodwill. In her mind, it was only the right thing to do.
"Favour, huh? It is only a matter of time before Karuizawa becomes one of the central figures within Class D. Kushida aside, Karuizawa's connections with the girls will play a major role in interpersonal class dynamics and future class competition. Even if Karuizawa's influence won't be up to Kushida's calibre, Karuizawa's words will carry weight. A similar situation is with Hirata. Except, Hirata only is accepted by girls. The boys would not want to listen to the popular, and good-looking guy, the very antithesis of many boys in the class."
In addition, given Karuizawa's positive impression of me, it would not be much to convince her to deal with "other" matters.
However...
I have a better idea."
"If you insist, then I want you to promise me something." - Yamasaki replied in a calm voice. Karuizawa stared at Yamasaki with determined eyes, right into his pupils.
-"Promise me you will never hide things from me." - Yamasaki gave an ambiguous response. If a third party were to hear a glimpse of the conversation, they might take things the wrong way.
"Huh? What do you mean Yamasaki-kun?" - Karuizawa was perplexed by Yamasaki's words, having a strange feeling that this conversation was heading towards an unknown direction.
"We are friends, right, Karuizawa? Friends are there to help you if you are ever in trouble. If by any chance you have a hard time in the future, don't suffer all by yourself. Remember, I will be by your side, okay?" - Yamasaki finished his request.
One second...
Two seconds...
Three seconds...
Karuizawa's face has turned tomato red. To avoid Yamasaki's gaze, she immediately retracted her eyes and started to run ahead to the dormitory entrance.
-"Uhh, thanks for everything, Yamasaki-kun! I-I will make it up to you later!" - Karuizawa yelled and ran towards the dormitory to disguise her expression without even waiting for Yamasaki's answer.
"Karuizawa Kei. A headstrong, strong-willed girl yet helpless girl yearning for normal life underneath the facade of bravado. All for the sake of creating a new life for herself. All for the sake of simply enjoying her life as a normal high school girl. A life that has nothing to do with the "Karuizawa Kei" outside of ANHS. A new page towards the next chapter of Karuizawa's Kei's journey towards a better life."
Unfortunately...
The reality is cruel.
"The ordinary response to atrocities is to banish them from consciousness. Atrocities, however, refuse to be buried. Equally as powerful as the desire to deny atrocities is the conviction that denial does not work. Remembering and telling the truth about terrible events are prerequisites both for the restoration of the social order and for the healing of individual victims. To understand psychological trauma is to come face to face both with human vulnerability in the natural world and with the capacity for evil in human nature."
Traumatic events are extraordinary, not because they occur rarely, but rather because they overwhelm the ordinary human adaptations to life. Unlike commonplace misfortunes, traumatic events generally involve threats to life or bodily integrity or a close personal encounter with violence and death. They confront human beings with the extremities of helplessness and terror and evoke the responses of catastrophe. The common denominator of psychological trauma is a feeling of intense fear, helplessness, loss of control, and threat of annihilation.
Traumatic reactions occur when action is of no avail. When neither resistance nor escape is possible, the human system of self-defence becomes overwhelmed anddisorganized. Traumatized people relive the moment of trauma not only in their thoughts and dreams but also in their actions. Even normally safe environments may come to feel dangerous, for the survivor can never be assured that she will not encounter some reminder of the trauma.
Constriction. When a person is completely powerless, and any form of resistance is futile, she may go into a state of surrender. The system of self-defence shuts down entirely. The helpless person escapes from her situation not by action in the real world but rather by altering her state of consciousness. Analogous states are observed in animals, who sometimes "freeze" when they are attacked. These are the responses of captured prey to a predator or of a defeated contestant in battle. Sometimes situations of inescapable danger may evoke not only terror and rage but also, paradoxically, a state of detached calm, in which terror, rage, and pain dissolve. Events continue to register in awareness, but it is as though these events have been disconnected from their ordinary meanings.
Perceptions may be numbed or distorted, with partial anaesthesia or the loss of particular sensations. Time sense may be altered, often with a sense of slow motion, and the experience may lose its quality of ordinary reality. The person may feel as though the event is not happening to her, as though she is observing from outside her body, or as though the whole experience is a bad dream from which she will shortly awaken. These perceptual changes combine with a feeling of indifference, emotional detachment, and profound passivity in which the person relinquishes all initiative and struggle. This altered state of consciousness might be regarded as one of nature's small mercies, a protection against unbearable pain.
In the aftermath of an experience of overwhelming danger, the two contradictory responses of intrusion and constriction establish an oscillating rhythm. This dialectic of opposing psychological states is perhaps the most characteristic feature of post-traumatic syndromes. Since neither the intrusive nor the numbing symptoms allow for the integration of the traumatic event, the alternation between these two extreme states might be understood as an attempt to find a satisfactory balance between the two. But balance is precisely what the traumatized person lacks. She finds herself caught between the extremes of amnesia or of reliving the trauma, between floods of intense, overwhelming feeling and arid states of no feeling at all, between irritable, impulsive action and complete inhibition of action. The instability produced by these periodic alternations further exacerbates the traumatized person's sense of unpredictability and helplessness. The dialectic of trauma is therefore potentially self-perpetuating. Over time, this dialectic undergoes a gradual evolution. Initially, intrusive reliving of the traumatic event predominates, and the victim remains in a highly agitated state, on the alert for new threats."
In short, for a person to move on from their trauma, 3 conditions are to be met:
1)Establish baseline safety.
2)Reconstructing the trauma story.
3)Restoring the connection between a survivor and the group.
For all the planning and everything...
"I truly hope Karuizawa can enjoy her high school life to the fullest." - Yamasaki smiled a little in anticipation and quiet hope that Karuizawa's Kei's arduous journey, a life with constant helplessness would eventually lead to happiness as he continued to walk towards the dormitory.
ΨΨΨ🆄🅽🅵🅰🆃🅷🅾🅼🅰🅱🅻🅴 🅿🅾🆆🅴🆁ΨΨΨ
P.S. Sorry for the delay. The chapter is more or less complete. At the moment, I have little motivation to write a story. To have an idea and to write a story are completely different things. One can have a lot of ideas. Ideas come and go like waves across the sea. But it takes something else to actually make something tangible.
I will try to write as much as I can say but as certain someone said "Just don't expect anything".
Best wishes, everyone.