Ruby knocked on the door. No answer.
She knocked again, louder this time, "Grandma?"
Still, silence. I shifted uneasily. "Maybe she's napping?"
Ruby frowned. "She was expecting me today. She wouldn't just sleep through it." We both stood there for a moment, listening.
*Cough*
A small, weak cough echoed from inside the house. Ruby and I exchanged glances. "That didn't sound right," I whispered.
Ruby nodded. "Something's weird. Come on, let's try the back door. We crept around the side of the house. The back door was slightly ajar, swaying gently in the breeze.
Ruby pushed it open, and we stepped inside. The house was quiet. Too quiet. It smelled like lavender and old wood, with a cozy fireplace in the main room.
There were shelves lined with books, a knitting basket on a small rocking chair, and—
Another cough, the sound coming from the bedroom.
Ruby hesitated only a moment before striding forward. I followed right behind her, ready for whatever was about to happen. As we stepped into the bedroom, we saw her, lying in bed, covered in a thick quilt, was Ruby's grandmother.
Or at least… that's what it looked like.
She had a pale, wrinkled face, a frilly nightcap pulled down low, and a pair of tiny spectacles perched on her nose. She was nestled beneath the blankets, only her head and hands showing.
She let out another weak cough.
"Oh, Grandma!" Ruby rushed forward. "Are you alright?"
The old woman gave a raspy sigh. "Ohhh, my dear child, I'm so terribly sick…"
Ruby sat beside the bed. "You don't look well at all!"
The "grandmother" gave a dramatic sigh. "Yes, yes, it's dreadful… I have been lying here, oh-so-weak, waiting for my sweet granddaughter to bring me a basket of goodies to soothe my suffering…"
Ruby held up the basket. "I brought your favorite bread!"
"Ahhh, delightful!" The old woman licked her lips. "So thoughtful! And… ohhh, I see you brought a little friend…"
She turned to me, her eyes glinting strangely. I stepped back. Ruby frowned. "Grandma, you look different…"
The old woman tilted her head,"Oh?" Ruby squinted. "Are you sure you're alright? Your ears look… big." The "grandmother" gasped. "Oh, my dear, that is just so I can hear you better!"
I narrowed my eyes, "And your eyes look bigger too." The "grandmother" smirked. "Ahhh, my child, that is so I can see you better!"
Ruby hesitated. "And your teeth—"
The old woman grinned widely. "So I can EAT YOU BETTER!!"
In an instant, the blanket exploded upward, revealing sharp claws, matted gray fur, and a long snout full of teeth.
"THE WOLF?!" Ruby screamed.
"SHOCKER!!" I yelled.
The wolf lunged forward, his massive jaws opening wide—
BOOMMM!!!
The entire wall exploded inward.
A giant blue ox head CRASHED into the bedroom, sending wooden planks and dust flying everywhere. I ducked and Ruby shrieked.
The wolf let out a yelp of terror as the huge horned head slammed into him, sending him flying across the room. Through the gaping hole in the wall, I saw something even crazier.
A giant lumberjack, at least ten feet tall, with a thick red beard, a massive axe slung over one shoulder, and a pair of worn-out overalls.
The man stomped inside, dusting off his hands,"Well, I reckon that took care of that problem." The blue ox snorted, stepping in behind him. "You always make such a mess, Paul."
Ruby and I just stared.
The wolf whimpered, sprawled across the room, his tail tucked between his legs. The giant lumberjack grinned down at us.
"Name's Paul Bunyan. That there's my buddy, Babe."
Babe, the blue ox, lowered his head slightly. "Pleasure."
I pointed. "You're huge."
Paul laughed. "Yup!" Ruby was still processing everything. "You—you—you just smashed through the house!"
Paul scratched his head, "Oops." Babe just sighed in defeat.
"He never thinks before he acts."
Paul shrugged and said, "Well, we got the wolf, didn't we?"
I looked over at the wolf, who was currently trying to crawl away. Paul stepped on his tail with the wolf let out a panicked yelp.
"Not so fast," Paul said, grinning down at him. "Now, I could turn you into a new pair of boots, but I reckon that'd be too much effort."
The wolf gulped in fear. "So," Paul continued. "How 'bout you get outta here before I decide to get creative?"
The wolf nodded frantically and Paul lifted his foot letting the wolf go. It scampered out of the house at full speed. Within seconds, he had vanished into the trees, leaving only a cloud of dust behind.
Paul brushed off his hands and said, "Well, that settles that."
Ruby still looked shell-shocked, "My grandma's house…" Paul scratched his beard. "Ah, yeah. Mighta been a bit too enthusiastic there."
Babe sighed. "You think?"
I patted Ruby's shoulder. "Hey, at least now you can say a legendary lumberjack crashed through your house. Not many people can say that."
Ruby blinked. "I… guess?"
Paul grinned. "Tell you what. I'll fix up the house good as new. You won't even know a giant blue ox head smashed through it."
"That'll take you a while," Babe snorted.
"Eh, I got time," Paul waved a hand in dismissal.
"Can I help?" I asked, Paul just chuckled, "Sure thing, kid!"
"This has been the weirdest day of my life."
Ruby let out a long sigh. I beamed in amusement, "And it's not even over yet!"
Babe shook his head. "This is why I don't visit human towns."
Paul threw an arm around my shoulder. "Kid, I like you. You ever wanna be a lumberjack, you let me know."
I saluted. "Aye, aye, Captain!"
"Why do I feel like this is going to be the start of even more drama?" Ruby complained.
"Kid, that's the best part of life!"
=.=.=
=.=
=
[A little later]
With the house finally repaired—and looking even better than before, thanks to Paul's enthusiastic carpentry—we all stood back, admiring our work.
Ruby wiped some sweat from her forehead. "Alright, that takes care of that." Babe snorted.
"Took longer than it should have."
Paul grinned, slapping me on the back, "Kid here did some good work, though! Got a real knack for this kinda thing."
I puffed up proudly. "Yup! I nailed some stuff, hammered some other stuff, and only fell off the roof twice!"
Ruby sighed. "Why is that impressive?"
I shrugged. "It's a new record for me!"
Paul laughed. "That's the spirit!"
"Now that this mess is sorted, can we please fix the bridge the wolf broke? I don't want to take the long way around every time I visit Grandma." Ruby stretched her arms.
Paul cracked his knuckles. "Now that's an easy fix."
"You said that about the house, and we were here for hours."
"Details, details," Paul said, already walking toward the river. Ruby and I exchanged looks before following.
When we arrived at the river, we were in for another surprise. Standing on the other side, holding a basket of herbs, was an older woman with silver hair tied in a bun and a warm, slightly confused expression.
"Grandma!" Her actual grandmother.
I squinted my eyes in concentration, "This one doesn't have sharp teeth, right?" Ruby swatted my arm.
"No, that's really my grandma!"
Grandma waved at us. "Ruby, dear! I was wondering why you hadn't arrived yet!"
Ruby put her hands on her hips. "Grandma, the bridge is gone!"
Grandma blinked. "Oh? Is that why it took you so long?"
Paul let out a hearty laugh. "Well, don't you worry none, ma'am. We'll have that bridge back up in no time!"
Grandma's eyes widened. She looked between Paul and Babe. "Paul Bunyan?! And a giant blue ox?!"
Babe gave her a pointed look as if someone insulted his entire family. "Yes. I am blue. Please, get over it." Grandma gasped. "But you're just an old wives tale! A myth!"
"Ain't that just what people say about legends?"
Grandma clutched her basket, "I—I suppose! Oh, what an unexpected delight!"
"Now, let's get this bridge done!," Paul rolled up his sleeves.
[A little later, again]
Paul didn't just fix the bridge.
He made it better.
He chopped down one giant tree and used only his hands to split it into planks. He then threw those planks into position like he was tossing bread crumbs to ducks.
Babe braced the structure with his massive head while Paul secured everything with thick ropes and wooden pegs.
Meanwhile, Ruby and I stood there, useless.
I nudged Ruby who was standing to my right, "You ever feel like we're just watching history happen?"
"Yeah, I definitely should've asked him to fix this bridge years ago."
Within ten minutes, the bridge was stronger, sturdier, and probably able to hold ten Pauls and a dancing elephant.
Paul clapped his hands together. "And there we have it! Good as new!" Grandma clapped excitedly. "Oh, thank you, thank you! This is marvelous!" She turned to Ruby and said,
"Now come along, dear! I've made your favorite stew as a welcome gift!"
Ruby beamed. "Really?!"
"Camden, you have to stay for dinner!"
"If you're sure there's enough for me…" Grandma patted my head, "Oh, I always make too much! Come along!"
Back at Grandma's house, the smell of rich, savory stew filled the air. Paul had to sit outside because the house was too small for him. Babe didn't seem to mind; he just lay in the grass, chewing lazily while watching us eat.
I practically inhaled my bowl.
Ruby's grandma chuckled. "My, my, Camden! You eat like you've been lost in the woods for a week!" Ruby gave me a deadpan look, "He almost was."
I wiped my mouth. "Wandering builds an appetite!"
Ruby rolled her eyes. Paul, despite sitting outside, still managed to hold a massive bowl of stew in one hand while scooping with a ladle.
"This is fine cooking, ma'am!" he said, taking another giant bite. "Haven't had stew this good since ol' Johnny Appleseed made his famous apple-chowder mix!"
Grandma blinked. "That's… not real, is it?" Babe muttered, "Everything is real with him." Grandma turned to me.
"So, young man, you're quite the adventurous one, aren't you?"
"I try my best!" Ruby shook her head at my statement, she loves doing that doesn't she? "He's a menace. He ate half my baked goods on the way here!"
Grandma gasped. "Oh, Camden!"
"I regret nothing."
"This kid's got the right attitude!" Paul laughed in a hearty manner.
After finishing the delicious meal, I stood up and stretched. "Welp, this has been the best accidental adventure of my life, but I think I should head home before my mom starts wondering if I've been eaten by a bear."
Ruby's grandma smiled warmly. "Thank you for looking after my granddaughter today, Camden. You're always welcome here!"
"Even if he does eat all our food."
"It's my special talent!" I literally shouted out resulting in Paul chuckling. "Alright, kid, let's get you home!"
I blinked. "Wait, you're coming?"
Paul grinned. "Sure am! See, I like ya, kid. You've got spirit! Reminds me of me when I was little."
I stared up at him. "…How little are we talking?" Babe answered the question instead, "He was still the size of a wagon at birth."
Paul patted my head. "C'mon! Let's get ya home safe."
As we rode back, Paul walking beside me, he told me stories of his adventures.
"Did I ever tell ya 'bout the time I dug the Grand Canyon with my bare hands?"
I gasped. "No way!"
"True story! Had to make room for Babe, you see."
"You got lost for three days and just kept digging."
"Details!" Paul waved him off. "Point is, it made for a great landmark, didn't it?"
"Man, I wanna have stories like that!" I said with a little too much enthusiasm. "Keep up the spirit, kid, and I reckon you just might." Paul said.
Paul and Babe stood at the edge of the forest, watching as I made my way toward the village gates.
"Well, kid," Paul said, adjusting the straps on his overalls. "Reckon this is where we part ways. You sure you don't wanna run away into the woods and become a legendary lumberjack with me?"
Babe snorted. "He's nine, Paul."
"Exactly!" Paul grinned. "Perfect age for learnin' the trade!"
I laughed nervously. "As tempting as that sounds, I think my mom might actually track me down and end me if I don't go home." Paul nodded solemnly. "Ah, yes. The wrath of a mother. Even I don't mess with that."
Babe muttered, "Smartest thing you've ever said." Paul ignored him and gave me a firm pat on the back, nearly knocking me off Starlight.
"You ever wanna get up to some real adventures, just call my name, and I'll come runnin'!"
I grinned. "I will!"
Babe sighed. "Please don't."
And with that, Paul and Babe turned and disappeared into the forest, leaving me to face the real challenge of the day.
My mother...
"Good luck, kid!".
=
=
As soon as I neared the village entrance, I saw a familiar figure standing just beyond the gates.
And my soul left my body. It was Evelyne, my mother and she looked pissed.
She stood there, hands on her hips, a slipper in each hand. Her fingers tapped ominously against the leather, her expression a perfect storm of worry, fury, and motherly vengeance.
I felt a chill run down my spine.
"Oh no."
The moment she spotted me, her eyes narrowed like a hawk zeroing in on its very stupid prey. I tried to turn Starlight around. "Nope. Nope, nope, nope—"
"CAMDEN WILDER!"
Oh, I'm dead.
Evelyne marched forward, slippers raised, her tone a perfect blend of fury and maternal concern.
"You LEFT me a TWO-SENTENCE NOTE saying you were going on a 'little ride'! I HAVE BEEN WORRIED SICK, YOUNG MAN!"
"It was a good note!" I argued.
"IT WAS BARELY A NOTE!"
"But I came back alive!"
"YOU WON'T BE ALIVE FOR LONG!"
And then—she swung.
I yelped, ducking just as a slipper whizzed past my head.
She hurled the second one, and I barely twisted in my saddle to avoid it.
"GET BACK HERE, YOU LITTLE MENACE!"
"STAAARLIGHT, GO, GO, GO!"
My loyal steed needed no further prompting.
With a flick of the reins, Starlight took off, hooves pounding against the dirt road as I fled for my life.
And behind me?
My mother chased me on foot, slipper reloaded in one hand, rage fully activated.
"YOU THINK YOU CAN OUTRUN ME, BOY?! I RAISED YOU! I KNOW ALL YOUR TRICKS!"
"THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SECRET!"
I heard the whistle of another slipper flying past.
"HOW MANY OF THOSE DO YOU HAVE?!"
"A MOTHER NEVER RUNS OUT OF SLIPPERS!"
Help me!!
By the time I made it back to our house, Starlight was panting, and I was out of breath. But Evelyne, she was fine. Not even sweating which was honestly terrifying.
"Inside." she commanded, pointing at the door.
I gulped. "But—"
"Inside. Now."
I slipped off Starlight and dragged my feet toward my fate. Once inside, Evelyne shut the door behind us with an ominous click. Then, she turned around slowly.
"Sit."
I sat.
She folded her arms. "Explain." And so, I told her everything. I left nothing out.
From saving Ruby from the talking wolf, to eating half her baked goods, to sending a crow messenger, to meeting Paul Bunyan, to fixing a house, fixing a bridge, and eating the best stew of my life.
By the time I finished, Evelyne was rubbing her temples.
"I cannot believe what I am hearing."
"Pretty cool, right?"
"COOL?! CAMDEN, YOU COULD HAVE BEEN EATEN ALIVE!"
"But I wasn't!"
"BECAUSE YOU HAD A LITERAL GIANT BACK YOU UP!"
"Yes! And I see that as a win!"
She gave me the 'I'm about to ground you for life' stare.
I gulped. "But… I did a good thing?" She took a deep breath. "You ran off into the woods without telling me where you were going. That is not okay."
"But Mom—"
"I was WORRIED, Camden!"
…And that's when I felt it. A slight tremble in her voice, the real reason she was mad. I may have been a little troublemaker, but I wasn't stupid.
She wasn't just angry, she was scared. The realization hit me like a sack of bricks and honestly made me feel a little guilty.
Just a little
So, I played my ultimate card. I tilted my head down, letting my hair shadow my face. Then, I peeked up, big watery eyes trembling, lips quivering like a kicked puppy. My ultimate attack.
"Mom…" I whispered, voice soft, fragile.
She stiffened.
"I—I didn't mean to scare you… I just… I thought I was doing something fun…"
I saw her resolve crack.
"I—I just wanted to explore the woods…"
Her arms twitched.
She looked away. "No. No, you're not getting out of this."
I sniffled. "…Mommy…?"
"GHHKK!"
She wobbled.
"S-Stop that!"
"I love you…" I added for extra damage. She wavered, for a moment, I thought I had won.
But then—She took a deep breath and straightened her spine. Her eyes hardened, the earlier weakness no where to be see.
"No. No, I see what you're doing."
Oh no.
"You are NOT going to puppy-eye your way out of this one, young man."
"…Are you sure?"
"I AM SURE!"
"You're grounded."
I gasped. "For how long?!"
"A MONTH."
"A MONTH?!" I clutched my chest. "That's basically a year in kid time!"
"Then let this be a lesson." I groaned, slumping over, "This is so unfair…" She raised a brow. "Would you rather I add another week?"
I shut up immediately.
And so, that's how I ended up grounded for a month.
No adventuring, no woods, no escaping. But, honestly? After seeing how terrified my mom had been, I knew I deserved it. Still, as I lay in my room, staring at the ceiling, I couldn't help but smile.
I'd had one heck of a day....
=======================================================