.
.
.
""The man responsible for the death of All Might has just been arrested by a team of Japan's top heroes plus America's number one hero, Star And Stripe!""
"Huh?" Inko didn't know how she heard it. The sound of her scrubbing the dishes and simultaneously boiling a pot of noodles were at the forefront of her attention. The TV was on just for the added noise. She dried her hands onto her blouse and shuffled around the corner, leaning into her living room.
""The Demon of The Underworld's true identity has now been revealed to the public: Toruichi Shigaraki, hiding as a common family man and elementary school principle. The HPSC is still investigating his records as we speak, but so far there seems to be a strong connection between him and the recently escaped, Dr. Tsubasa, who -""
Inko gasped. Taking up most of the screen was drone footage following the ancient villain being carried on a stretcher into an armored vehicle for capture. The whole scene was lit in very early morning light. He appeared completely immobile; terribly beaten. In the bottom left corner was a more recent mugshot of the scraped-up man with his full legal name beside it.
She... She recognized that face. The silvery hair. Those eyes that once shimmered down on her like freshly spilt blood in the candlelight. She could never forget a presence like that.
The footage then switched to a young women handcuffed and led away to another armored vehicle in the same setting as the first clip. She was in terrible shape as well. Filthy! Her head was blurred, but it wasn't hard to put two and two together with that white hair and tall, trim frame.
""Shigaraki's daughter was apprehended that same night. Though her full name and personal information hasn't been released to the public yet, she's been given the temporary nickname: Hell's Princess; age unknown, though we can confirm she is under eighteen. The girl is being put on trial for committing several crimes of her own; such as theft, illegal quirk usage, assault, manslaughter, second degree murder, tax evasion, first degree murder, cereal assault, massacre, and treason.""
"Hey, Mommy?" Izuku waddled out of his room, clearly tired from the long day. "Is dinner ready yet?-"
"-Go back to your room for now, Okay, Izuku?" Inko used her body to casually block her son's eyes from viewing the TV screen. She carefully guided him back to where he came from.
"Well is it??"
"Dinner will be ready soon. Now hurry along!"
"Hhhhh, okay.." The boy could tell something was up, but now wasn't the time to ask about it. Once her boy had been tucked away safely in his room, Inko hurried to the couch and grabbed the remote sitting there. Her hands were shaky. She wanted to change the channel, but... Her eyes wandered back toward the screen. The news station could do nothing but loop the same ten seconds of footage and theorize about who this mysterious young serial killer might be. The woman prayed under her breath that this was all just one big misunderstanding...
But, deep down, she knew it wasn't.
---------------
Slam!
Dang, that startled you. You sat straighter, looking up and locking eyes with the glaring, snarling rabbit hero: Mirko. Her hand lay flat on the table you were sat at. Her metal one. "You're lying to me, I know you were there you little #####! Now fess up about the Shie Hassaikai's treatment of Hawks!"
"Can't. I wasn't there when he was being questioned." You stared flatly.
"GUH!" Mirko tore herself from the table and stepped out of the intense light. The rest of the room was dark. Great mood for an interrogation I guess. She dug her fingers both prosthetic and not through her long white hair, ears twitching feverishly.
You knew what they were trying to do. Now that the heroes had you, they were squeezing you of all the information they could, using your tales and takes to hopefully track down other villains as well. But you were being difficult, especially when it came to the Shie Hassaikai.
Yakuzas have a very interesting relationship with the government. Because of some ancient traditions mixed with fear of an uprising throughout the public, the government has learned to turn a blind eye to these families of crime. As long as these Yakuza only spill blood between each other, they'll be ignored. However, the moment a Yakuza member harms an innocent civilian, the entirety of that Yakuza is hunted down and arrested as if they had each individually committed that same crime. That's why, for the sake of not wanting to betray those who had housed you for so long, you, the only possible incriminating evidence they had, denied the accusation that Kai had committed such an atrocity by torturing a hero. Since they had no other physical evidence for such abuse, you were their only lead in that direction. And you weren't budging.
Thanks to some brilliant thinking on Pops' part, your own crimes wouldn't affect them either. See, he found this ingenious loop-hole by selling your membership to another Yakuza. They would get all the money you made -- apparently you were supposed to be getting paid at your rank -- in exchange for taking the fall should you commit any crimes. ... Well, you did commit crimes. A lot of them. And that in turn sank this other unknown Yakuza to the ground... Hope they enjoyed that money~
Thinking about it... It was kind of sad how little Pops actually trusted you to follow the rules; so much so that he would make a deal like that with his rivals... He really wasn't afraid to use you for gain now was he? All these deals he made regarding you, ensuring he gained a profit from your every breath. Heck, he probably had a buyer for your organs ready should you somehow die!.. Made sense why the rest of the Yakuza treated you like an object more often than not, if their own boss had that mindset somewhat. You knew he still cared about you as a person, but...
Your chin dropped, eyes staring at the table. '...Guess love really is transactional.' You'd hoped for so long that this wasn't the case... But, now, even your dad disowned you, the person you least expected to do such a thing.
"Hhhh, okay then. What happened after Hawks' visit?" Mirko turned back to you with crossed arms. You leaned forward and folded your hands on the desk. You swallowed painfully while thinking, no emotion in your eyes.
"I... I guess things returned to normal after that. I was still in my first year of UA, so I returned to studying." You weren't going to say anything about the revised Underground Masquerade. That was probably the only aspect of your life that you could keep private...as long as a certain animorph kept his mouth shut. "Um... I attended a summer camp?"
"At which you picked a fight with another student.-"
"-It was for perfectly justifiable reasons!!"
"ENOUGH with that already!!" The woman spun to glare at you with wide, threatening eyes. You shriveled back, an uneasy feeling running through you -- her eyes reminding you of your mother from a past life. Your tongue was caught in your throat a second. The rabbit hero sighed agitatedly, massaging her forehead roughly. "...Quit it with the innocent act already..." She inhaled sharp and slow through her teeth. "...I was there.. in the crowd when the Masquerade Massacre happened..." Her shoulder which her prosthetic clung to tightened. Absently, she started to massage the shoulder, her ghostly stare turned to the floor. "..I had a couple friends with me that day... We were just there for a fun time. I know I was in the wrong for going to a place like that, but.. I could have never predicted what was about to happen that night..." Her expression was hazy and distanced, reliving the moment through memories. "..I had to cut my own a## arm off...just to survive.. All while helplessly watching as my friends were disintegrated in front of me..." She squeezed her eyes shut, blinked a few times, then glared at you. "I know who you really are. Don't try to pull that crap on me!" She poked her chest with her thumb, pointing at herself as she strode toward you. Her next breath was shaking. "I've been called a ruthless hero before, but not even I'M willing to resort to something like that!! So just accept that you're sick in the head and stop defending your actions!"
Your wide eyes blinked furiously... But then your gaze dropped to the table again, your hands hugging each other closely. "...I'm sorry... You're right. I don't deserve to defend myself from these accusations... And I won't... Do what you wish with me... I am in the law's hands..." You'd never been so submissive before. Not in your entire life. Mirko was taken aback by your passive attitude. She paused. She growled and dug her metal hand through her hair. She was hoping for more fight from you.
"Ughh! Guess we'll move on to the proceedings. Do you have a lawyer in mind, or should we pick one for you?"
"You can pick one.." Not like a lawyer would help anything.
---------------
Your eyes were glazed over as you stood in the court room. It was a noticably dreary atmosphere. The lack of color made the overall scene a lot more forgettable. You bowed to the man who'd escorted you to the podium where you were to give a defense. Then you stood there, facing the dark crowds of people and flashing lights. You stared ahead to the distant wall.
All this on the same day your dad was being put on trial too, though his was far more public, and they didn't care to blur his face as they did with yours.
Their voices all meshed into one sound, all the people blurring into one large mass. The judge repeated herself, snapping you partially out of your haze. She repeated herself, saying it was your turn to give a response to all these accusations... What a mockery. Like there was anything you could say to begin with.
After giving it a moment to think, you bowed long and low, speaking in a slightly higher pitch, nervous voice. "I'm sorry. I want to die." That was all you had to say. You would say no more in your defense.
You had no defense. You had to accept that you were a monster; sick in the head.
---------------
Things turned in your favor more than you expected it to. First of all, some footage from your trial was leaked, especially your "defense." Thankfully your face was blurred, but still... A fringe group of followers formed in your favor, most of whom were simps who argued such a cute girl couldn't possibly commit such crimes! It was all useless. Didn't even bring you a smile to hear about. But... There did seem to be a majority who grasped onto the hope that you could perhaps recover from this... villainy. There were many who believed in your redemption when even you had lost hope.
The process was surprisingly fast. It was a lot easier when you just accepted everything as they came.
You lost all your money, which was a lot. Lost those two houses you owned and rented out. On top of that, you fell into debt you couldn't hope to repay in one lifetime. But... You weren't arrested. At least not in the traditional sense.
You were house arrested. After spending a week in custody doing nothing but writing out the story of your life in great detail, you were released only as long as you stayed in and around your house with a tracker on your ankle at all times. The tracker was the most annoying part of this deal. It could be taken off, but only for minutes at a time, and it somehow knew by your heartrate and stuff if you put the tracker on someone else. In short, you were stuck...
Is what you would say if you weren't so clever~
---------------
There was something so therapeutic, yet so anxiety inducing about someone else cutting your hair. The gentle tugging of strands and snips close to your ears. You tried to keep your attention on the TV ahead; not on the hands combing through your scalp or the blades so near to your throat. You sat on the floor, back bracing the couch.
Sitting on said couch, Hari was surprisingly skilled in this area, and since you hadn't the energy nor willpower to tackle trimming your battle-torn hair into something purposeful looking, you asked him to do it instead. Now, you were almost regretting it. Helpful and harmless as he was being, it was almost too nice of him. You were putting perhaps a little too much trust in his hands. After all, he had no reason to do this without expecting some kind of payment... But he refused your offer to pay him with the little cash remaining in your room. So, what was it then? Was he plotting something?.. No-no! Best not to overthink his kindness. You honed your attention in on the TV to keep your anxiety from spiraling.
""The Sicilian Mob continues to rampage down Shumui Street in western Tokyo, overwhelming the local heros. Heroes from other districts are scrambling to assist.""
"Mm.." You pouted/growled, hiding your chin behind your knees while hugging your legs close.
Hari chuckled. "You act like you're responsible for that raid."
"But I am!"
"Huh?"
You huffed, then mumbled an explanation. "I was in my dad's office yesterday... Don't even know what the crap is happening on that thing half the time, it's so confusing. But I found this whole branch of his operations centered around Trigger smuggling and decided to deal with it. I fired a bunch of guys, hoping that would fix it, aaannnnddd it only caused a violent strike to break out.. turning into this."
"Hm... How were you able to do all that without triggering the authorities?"
"Simple. I just make sure my ankle stays on the other side of the portal. They never even know most of my body's across the globe."
"Ahhh... Smart, I suppose."
"It's a good temporary fix, but... Ghhhh, I hate this thing so much... What really sucks is before this raid thing, I tried to save some smuggled children too.. Apparently, my dad's had first dibs on any kids with potentially useful quirks."
"Mh."
"So I bought a bunch of kids and released them to the authorities (your dad was smart enough to squirrel away most of his money where the government couldn't find it), but that only increased the kidnappings, since the sellers I guess realized they could make bank on my heart or something. I dunno..." Your face plopped onto your knees, groaning loud and clear.
Turns out trying to destroy the massive wasp nest was a lot harder than you initially thought. And you thought you had an understanding of the criminal world before this! Your dad's computer was like a window into a much darker, scarier world you were too naive and-or dense to notice before. Now that you were exposed to it; the complexities woven between this world and the criminal underworld that ruled over it from the shadows, you weren't sure your rosy colored view of reality would ever return.
"I'm sure you'll figure everything out eventually." Hari grabbed both sides of your head and pried your face from your knees so he could continue snipping. Himiko laying on the couch stretched her leg out and rubbed your shoulder with her foot reassuringly.
Kai entered the lounging room with quiet footsteps as always. "You trying to make (Y/n) look like a toddler with that haircut?"
You scowled at the TV with a pouty lip, letting Hari do the griping for you. "Hey! I'm not done yet! Give me some grace at least; I've never cut a girl's hair before!" He spun back to and snarled at Kai, who stood leaning in the entryway.
Crossing his arms, Kai rose a sassy brow. "May as well just buzz it at this point."
"Okay, it doesn't look that bad!"
"Keep telling yourself that and maybe one day you'll believe it."
"Kai! Shutupnooneneedstohearit." You grumbled, chin falling on your knees again. Hari continued to cut your hair after the conversation ended. A moment passed before the brunette sighed and sauntered lazily into the living room, plopping on and sinking into the couch beside his friend. The puddle of a man stared ahead at the TV, his eyes especially tired and goalless today. "M... Hey, Kai?"
"Yeah?"
"You're good at leading people, right?"
"I suppose?"
"And plotting secret schemes?"
"Yeah?"
"And you still hate my dad?-"
"-What is this about?" The man nudged you with his shoe. You turned your head his way suddenly, nearly making Hari accidentally cut a whole strand of hair off.
"If you have time... I was.. wondering if you could help me uproot my father's businesses? He left all that stuff to me. Huge mistake!" You chuckled. "But, I keep screwing things up. So.. I might need your help for this one?"
"Huh..." The man's brows twisted curiously. "That does sound interesting... But what exactly would I be getting out of this?" You knew he'd bring that up!
You shrugged. "Whatever you want, I guess. You could just as easily turn his resources into your own. I just want to make sure that when or if he ever breaks out of prison, he won't have his underground world to flee to next time."
"So you want me to take his place~"
"Maybe not that direct, but it's a start."
"Hm. Sounds like fun." Weaving his fingers behind his head. "I'm in." His eyes drifted to the ceiling, already starting to daydream. "I've always wanted to become a powerful figurehead like your father.." ...Okay so maybe this wasn't your best idea, but whatever! At least you could beat Kai up a lot easier than your dad!
"Oh, (Y/n)~!" Blond droopy boy pranced into the living room, both hands full of papers. "You have more love letters~!" He sprinkled them onto your lap in a very teasing manner. You rolled your eyes but also smirked. These things went one of two ways. Either the letter was going to be a fun, hilarious read, or it was going to be terribly cringe, disgusting, and burn worthy. Either way, at least reading them was a fun way to pass the time.
Just so you know🎶: The letters aren't being sent directly to the Shie Hassaikai base, since no one knows where you live. Instead, they are sent to the government body assigned as the middle-man for it all. The government knows where you live. They send you the ew.
Kai visibly and verbally cringed while snatching one of the letters from your lap. "Ugh.. And you get these things just because you murdered people?"
"And I'm cute!" You reminded him. Himiko crawled around on the couch, laid on her belly, and reached for one of the letters too.
"Hardly a good enough reason." Though clearly disgusted by the mere concept, the young man took his time opening the letter. He unfolded the thing and started to read... Not much time passed before he gagged, tore off his glove, and merged the whole paper into one ball to throw at the TV. "Disgusting hormonal rodents."
"What did it say??!"
"A poem I think. I only read three words."
"Awwh, I like reading the poems, terrible as some of them are.."
"Well you need to raise your literature standards...just like these guys need to raise their standards in women. They seriously don't know a single thing about you!"
You gasped like you were going to say something, but ended up holding your tongue and turning your head to pout some more. "Or maybe you just need to start appreciating the beauty right in front of you..." Flipping your newly cut hair.
"You should know by now that I don't see the world that way.." He leaned back, hands folding behind his head again.
A shriek yanked everyone's attention to the little girl with her open letter. Himiko's face was flushing a bright, bright red! "Thi-this one just has a picture of a ####!!!" You lunged for it, snatched the paper from the child, and burned it up in flames. The other guys leaned forward staring at the mess with bulging eyes.
"Uhh-h-h!" You cackled nervously. "Yeah, that happens sometimes... Gotta be careful!"
"You aren't serious, right?" Kai's brows furrowed. He started grasping for the other letters on your lap.
"He--hey!! Mine!!"
"Not anymore. Not if they're nothing but silly poems and cheap p*rn."
"THEY'RE NOT!!" Craaaap, you really weren't expecting these guys to get so involved in your personal life!
Since Kai was being so persistent in picking each piece of paper up individually, you caved and gave him all the letters. Really salty about it, though. "You could be doing so much more with your free time, yet you decide to waste it on garbage. Honestly disappointed you would stoop so low for entertainment." Kai lectured you like a big, over protective brother. You were flustered and looked away, the drive to argue with him any more shutting down.
"I'm...sorry... You're right. Guess I'll try doing something else..." Your voice soft and timid.
Kai's eyes widened, stopping a moment to process that you actually listened to him for once. He still took all your letters though. A bummer, but you'd get over it. After he'd crunched all the papers together into one ball, his poor right hand sprouting hives all over from the mere thought of what was written in them, Kai tossed it across the room into the nearby trashcan, actually getting it this time! Then the man stood to go wash off his hand. But before that~
Kai placed his ungloved hand on your head. "Yeah, still say buzz it." Patting your hair. You slapped his hand away. The young man chuckled and slipped away, never to be seen again~ ...that day at least. Unfortunately.
"...Hm.. That looks fine enough. Sorry if it isn't what you wanted." Hari finally pulled the scissors away, turning to instead brush your stray hairs off of his lap. You tossed around your hair a bit. It was a simple cut, but then again weren't they all?
"Thanks. This should be good enough. Oh.. Himi..? Do you think you could take my place for a little bit? I need to check on something. I'll give you enough blood for at least two hours."
"Haa! Yes! I would be happy to!!" There was that precious smile~
---------------
You landed on the beach as an invisible cat with wings. All three quirks functionally were incompatible with each other but with enough force you made them work!
The sand sank into your shoes rather quickly. Instant regret.
It was a bit late. The sun was already setting, so you weren't really expecting to catch any familiar faces here, but you held onto hope that you just might... Hhhh, nope. No Izuku to be seen nor heard.
You kicked your feet through the sand, shoving your hands in your pockets as anxiety tore at you once more.
What if Izuku found out who you really were? What if he was never allowed to see you again?? Other than Tenko, that boy was the only real reason you even decided to become a hero! If not for him, it would be that much harder to wake up in the morning. That much harder to find motivation throughout your day.
You noticed something after scraping your sorry sneakers through the sand. Wait. That... That fridge. Where was it??
You hurried to the spot where the once immobile machine stood strong and sturdy. Yep, this was definitely the spot. But, where was it?! You coulda sworn it was here last time!
In the sand, you noticed tracks of scrape marks. Wide too, like the fridge itself had slithered away. Curious, you followed this trail. You followed, and followed, and followed. Eventually, beside the dumpster outside the beach, there stood the fridge in all its.. um, not really glory.
It was but a pile of scrap now, all the parts having been unscrewed from one another and carried separately to the place to be dumped. You slapped your forehead and hissed a laugh. Of course!.. You never specified that he had to carry it all in one piece. Clever boy.
And for that, you felt like he deserved a quirk. And you were going to let him pick one out. But, in order to do that, you would need to see him in person again.
...
Oh, who were you kidding? You were excited to celebrate something, anything in this desert of misery! Why not stop by for a visit right now? Explain the quirk thing to his mom while you were at it! Then you could all have dinner together and talk happily about the bright future ahead of Ms. Inko and her bouncy son!
----------
. . .
Huh, that's strange. No one was answering the door. Were you too late?? Were they gone?? You rang the doorbell one more time just to be sure.
...Again, silence. *sigh*
Oh well. That never stopped you.
You simply flew around the apartment and perched at Izuku's window. You tugged at the window. Oop. Locked. Strange, he never locked his window. Was he changing rn? There was a little light inside, but curtains blocked your prying eyes.
...Good thing they had a balcony! Eheh...
You weren't stupid. Call it denial. Because, through all of this, these small building instances spiked your anxiety like a wild fire! Did they know? Were they scared of you now? Were they trying to avoid you? What was going on?!
Or! Were you just being too self conscious? What if Izuku's dad finally came over for a visit? Yeah! Maybe they're just wanting some family time.. apart from you! Or-or maybe they just had a really long day and are just super tired! Izuku would have carried that fridge pretty recently by the looks of it, so maybe he was just too tired to be bothered?
Though the balcony door was also locked, the window beside it wasn't. You slid through easily in cat form, then grew to your usual size and tiptoed in. It was dark. There were only the occasional lamps on. So then they must be asleep? But.. it was a little too early for that still. The sun, though dying on the horizon, was still trying its best to bring light to the world.
"Hello~?" You whispered, just to be sure... Something about this felt really off. The whole atmosphere was oozing eerie vibes. And maybe it was just you, but, the scene reminded you a lot of the night when your mother tried to kill you... Just in case your paranoia wasn't bad already, this comparison made it ten times worse. Had something happened to them?? Did a villain break in??
Yes. Technically. That villain was you.
A small scrape of shoe over tile caught your full attention. You tiptoed toward the kitchen where the noise had come from.
"HelloOoOo~? Ms. Inko? You okay?" Turning around the corner to peer into the kitchen, you could have sworn you saw your mother there hunched on the floor for half a second.
Thump-thump
A singular light at her back, the darkened shape of the woman stared ahead at you with the most painfully twisted, fearful green eyes. Illuminated eerily by the dim pale light, the greenette's trembling hands jumped to a raise, a knife held between them. "Lea-leave my son alone!! He's not here tonight!" Her lip trembled, like she had a thousand more words to say but didn't have the time to spill them all.
You were stuck like a deer in headlights. A lump gathered in your throat, making it hard to breathe. You swallowed, attempting to speak. "I- I- I- I don't want to hurt you.."
"Then don't! Do-don't come near us and you won't even ha-ave to worry about that!!" It was the moment the woman took a firm step forwards that you broke.
You tripped back over nothing, dented the wall with the back of your head, and pushed up against it while throwing your hands into the air. "Plea-please Mom, don't hurt me! I- I promise I won't do it again! I promise I won't do anything again! I promise I promise I PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!!" You gagged up a sob, eyes filling with tears, worsening your chances of defending yourself properly in the future. Your feet scraping against the ground in an attempt to push yourself as far away as possible, the defensive position you took, the fearful look in your eyes. All of it told a far different take than what Inko had started to believe from your father.
The woman set the knife down on the countertop and tread lightly toward you. You watched the woman carefully, flinching every time she made any sudden movements. Finally, Ms. Inko knelt down in front of you and reached her arm out slowly. You were hyperventilating, trying and failing to calm yourself down. When the woman gently touched your outstretched elbow, you grit your teeth and whined. But, you made no attempt to attack her. Izuku's mom started to stroke that spot of contact on your arm, reassuring you that it was okay.
Though it took several minutes, she was able to calm you down enough so that you sat there calmly across from her on the hard tile floor. Both of you now sat cross-legged facing one another at a slight angle. As things calmed down, the patient woman placed her hand on your knee. Your eyes darted up, staring into hers eyes once again. They were so kind now. Like how they usually were. Your eye contact didn't last long, gaze preferring the floor.
"...If you don't mind me asking... What happened between you and your mom..?"
Fresh tears trickled down your face again. You scratched at the tile with one of your fingers. "...She tried to kill me..be--becau--" You looked around for something to sneeze into. Ended up using your sleeve. "Mmmbecause she was scared I was gunna turn out like my dad..."
"Oh..." Ms. Inko cursed herself internally. This whole time, she heeded your father's warning, fearing you more than loving you, scared to form any kind of bond that may lead to her or her son's deaths. Now though, she realized how foolish she was. AFO had played her, and he played her good; she wound up creating the very same problem she was hoping to avoid. Or, at least something like it... She could have simply just asked you about your mother months ago. But instead, she went this route. And now there was little chance you were ever going to forgive her. What a dreadful old hag she was. Why even try to rekindle this bond when it was so clearly broken? Now she would be nothing to you but terrible memories. "I'm sorry, (Y/n)."
"It's okay..." You sniffed again, wiping your face off onto your other sleeve. "I.. I wasn't expecting to react like that! Eheh.. You..really scared me." Her soft touch was so nice. Inko's presence was the down-to-earth version of Chloe's, no doubt. Not quite so angelic and perfect, but still possessing an immensely loving, motherly aura.
"I... think you should go.."
"Still..?" Teary eyed. "I promise, I never intended to hurt anyone, especially you and Izuku-"
"-Yeah but he can't be around you." Her hand slid off your knee, replacing the touch you needed to stay sane with bitter words. "I'm sorry... It's for the best that you never see my son again... I won't tell him the truth about you and your father until he is older... Until then... I wish you the best." That would be a very hard secret to keep, but you trusted her kind hearted intention behind it.
You wiped your face dry one last time.
"...I understand... Tell Izuku that he did a great job and that I am very proud of him. ... You too, Ms. Inko... I wish you the best."
That a terrible time to part ways...
---------------
Why did it have to be so gray today? The sky was thick with fog and mist. Your eyelashes were damp with dew, making every blink a gamble.
You stood at the back door made almost entirely of glass, Tenko's house, and waited with for your friend to make an appearance. One foot through a portal.
He hadn't answered your texts. He hadn't said a thing since your little incident.
You knew why... You knew why and you hated that. It would be better if it came to you as a surprise. Be even better if you didn't have to wait here as dread filled you, standing out in the cold as you waited for the inevitable.
Tenko turned around a corner casually carrying an empty bowl. He had to do a double take after spotting you in the corner of his eye. For a moment, he stopped and stared at you though you were a ghost. A wave of differing emotions washed over him all at once. He then shuffled past to put the bowl away in the kitchen, then scooted slowly toward the back door. He stood on the other side of the glass for a moment, viewing you carefully, observing your passive posture closely. After confirming your lack of interest in harming him, only then did he reach out and open the back door.
Your head hung low, glancing between him and the floor. One hand swayed in to cling to and comfort the other. "...Is Mr. Aizawa doing alright?"
"No one's seen him since he retired. Not even the Principle knows where he is." Tenko answered, a mouthful of venom in his tone.
One hand rubbed the other. You stared at the floor and the entryway separating the two of you. Your eyes were red and stinging, trying with all their might not to leak. "...I see."
"What do you want?" His tone hurt so much. You squeezed your eyes shut, tears slipping free.
"I.. I just wanted to say I'm sorry-"
"-Oh, just shut up! Shut up and stop crying! It's not fooling anyone!" You obliged, forcing your tears to stop at once as you wiped your face with your sleeves. Tenko leaned through the door, holding onto the entryway, losing tears of his own as he turned to venting. "Do you realize how hard I fought for you?! How much I wanted to believe you were a good person?! I TRIED! I tried, OKAY!?" He sobbed, leaning to the side and pressing his teary, red eyes into his arm. He ground his teeth and hissed painfully. You fought with all your might not to let your own tears fall. "..What happened to you, (Y/n)?... You used to be so gentle and kind; I never once felt like I was in danger around you!.. So what gives?? Why have you started fighting people..and murdering..? I just don't get it."
The foot of yours not standing in a portal scraped forward, a hand reaching out to comfort him. The teen recoiled, a mix of fear and disgust in his eyes. He stumbled back and slammed the door on you. Hunched slightly and hugging himself, the boy stared at you with that same look of distrust. The deepest look of personal betrayal one could fathom. You backed to where you stood before. You stared at him with the broadest, purest eyes of sorrow. Like a precious puppy begging for its life.
'Please don't go. Please don't go. I need you right now. Please don't go. Don't leave me alone like this. Please don't go!'
Tenny shook his head slowly as he backed away. He couldn't handle this anymore. All the pain you brought him. The loss of trust, hope, and faith. Still hugging himself loosely, your childhood friend shuffled away and out of sight, leaving you all alone.
Somewhere in the mix, you felt as though you lost your soul.
---------------
You weren't the same after that. After you lost friends; more than that: the closest links to humanity you had. To morality you had.
This time, your anxiety spiraled inward. With them gone, what would come of you next? Without a place to feel safe, loved, and warm, where could you go to recover emotionally, to charge up morally?
Tenko had become your beacon of right versus wrong in your toughest moments. So, what would come of you now that he was gone? And without Izuku to watch over, felt like your purpose had just been stripped away! Would you... go insane?! You couldn't trust yourself not to! You've already done so much, committed so many atrocities; you were already doomed for Hell!! So HOW then could you expect yourself not to get any WORSE?!
...Maybe you should have just let your mom kill you that day..? She was probably right about you...
You were destined to lose your mind and turn out just like your father.
You didn't even have your dad to run to for comfort anymore. You were truly, and utterly.. alone.
...You knew the consequences for your actions were going to be bad, but never would you have expected them to be this bad...
---------------
You were too scared to even go near Endeavor's house.
---------------
"Hey... Himi.." You said with a ghostly, hollow voice. "Let's go visit a friend...okay?"
You appeared again at the front door of Jin's apartment, one foot through a portal, as you had grown accustomed to.
Your knuckles tapped softly at the door. Himiko held your hand nervously. It was painfully obvious to her how much you had changed in the past week. The usual life that was in your eyes, even if it was there out of spite, was completely gone now... And now here she was being taken to an old apartment she'd never seen before.
After a pause, the front door opened, revealing yet another you. You2's eyes widened at the sight of such a familiar face. She gasped, hurrying to slam the door shut. You stuck your arm out, hand getting crushed rather than letting her slip away so easily. Realizing she couldn't just escape you, you2 peeked through the crack in the door. "You're all over the news.." She whispered nervously. You just nodded, then turned your gaze down to the little girl holding your hand.
"Himiko, this is my secret twin sister. We go by the same name for security reasons, and we have very similar personalities, so she shouldn't be hard for you to adjust to."
"Wait!"
"What??"
Glancing up to stare you2 coldly in the eyes, "Is Jin here?"
"No? He's-"
"-Tell him I'm sorry for dumping this responsibility on him.. but I can't take care of the girl anymore. I just can't..." There was a silence between you and yourself. You2 stared deeply into your hollow, soulless eyes, then down at the little girl gripping your hand tightly. She stared down at the little girl, understanding what was going on.
"...You sure you want to let her go?"
You stared down at Himiko just as she stared up at you. The girl knew what was going on too. Her little hand trembled inside of yours.
You knew you were making the wrong choice here. Everything inside you was screaming to turn back. Keep the girl, even for selfish reasons.
But, no... You had to think like a responsible adult here. And you didn't have the mental and emotional fortitude to take care of another; it was a struggle taking care of yourself right now. Even things like waking up, eating, sleeping, and remembering to drink water had become but laborious burdens throughout the day.
You weren't a help to anyone. Not even yourself.
You tugged the girl toward the door. "Go with her, please... I'll bring your things by here later tonight."
"No! (Y/n)! Please don't leave me!!"
Your hold on the girl's hand tightened until she whined from the pain. "You need a better example to follow than what I could provide... Trust me.. this is better." You let go of her hand and shoved the girl forward. Before the portal at your feet could completely swallow you whole, you ruffled the girl's blond hair. "I don't hate you. This is for your own good." You vanished, leaving the girl alone with a complete stranger to her. Just one of many regrets. You were numb to the sheer amount of those by now.
---------------
Meaningless, meaningless. Everything is meaningless.
What kind of sick life is this? One where everything you spent years building can be torn down in an instant. One where no matter what you do, it's always wrong and everyone ends up hating you. One where the closest people to you could replace you with an object and nothing would change. One where the people you care about all turn on you and or abandon you. One where there is no one you can trust, no one to hold on to, and no one to care about.
This is the world where everyone is your enemy, even yourself. Especially yourself.
.
.
.
Noodles. Hungry. Lunch time.
You set a pot of water onto the stove and turned on the fire. It was a relatively peaceful day. All the doors and windows were open because of how hot it was so that a little breeze could drift through the house.
The water set to boil, you leaned your hip against the counter and turned on your phone. A terrible habit you'd fallen to: endlessly scrolling through social media with no end goal in mind. It numbed your thoughts and emotions, but... you knew it was only a distraction at the end of the day.
Your phone ran out of batteries suddenly, now showing you nothing but your depressed face. You'd kept pushing back the time to charge it. Now, guess it was too late. In your reflection, you scrutinized your looks. Your face had taken on a stronger shape like your father's, your eyes a duller sea blue now, but still so like your mother's. The fact that the first thing you were reminded of were your troublesome parents upon viewing your face was the real problem. It would be this way forever, wouldn't it? Every time you saw something as simple as your own reflection, you would be reminded of all the hate and sorrow that ruined your life.
You stared into this reflection of yours, specifically your eyes. The eyes which had seen more than your mind could bear.
...These eyes had seen the dead body of All Might, the bloody, hunched form of your mother with knives in her stomach, the mangled scarred head of your father. The corpses of the dead laying in piles of ash all around, the fallen over strangers of the weak who tried to oppose you, the fallen, blood drenched face of your fallen teacher.
...No..
There was nothing really special about your powers, your heritage, or even this world...
At the end of the day, you were the same you: a child who was never meant to be born, living in a world that refused to accept you. Just as it was in your past life.
Your stomach felt queasy for some reason. You leaned over the pot of water, checking if it was ready to drop the noodles in yet. You wound up just staring into the bubbling bowl, letting the steam cook your eyes.
...What did death feel like again? It had been so long now since you died, and your death was so quick, you didn't have the time to enjoy it. You were too intrigued by the future to even care about what was going on right in front of you. Too much of a speedster on the road to enjoy the fields of flowers you raced past. Even after you died, you were too excited about starting a new life.. you never even stopped to reflect on the old one you were leaving behind. All the people and places you would never see again.
You blew through this life just as quickly. Just as recklessly. So set on your "goals" that you never even slowed down to enjoy the landmarks you had made already, as well as the friendships you had formed... Only now that it was all gone could you look back and see just how lucky you really were.
But, now you had nothing, and were nothing. Nothing but a big freaking joke.
These stupid, crusty eyes look absolutely hideous.
-----
"AAAAAAAAA!"
Hari was startled out of the desk chair in his room. He stumbled out the door and into the hallway, following the continuous wailing of unfiltered pain. He grabbed the corner, slingshotting into the kitchen. There you lye on the floor in a puddle of steaming, boiling water, rubbing your face raw.
"What happened!?!" Hari crouched down beside you, scanning you for any serious injuries. Though the burns healed rather quickly, the itching, stinging, and burning sank into the very base of your eye sockets, driving your senses mad!
You babbled incoherently between sobs. No words you formed would be of any use anyway. There was no real "reasoning" behind what you had done. You just felt like dousing your face in boiling water is all. You laid on your side hugging yourself and cried. Cried for no reason it felt like. Or perhaps because you had no reason not to cry.
"What happened in here??" Kai appeared around the corner, flinching when he saw the condition you had fallen into. Hari was still hovering around you, worry clear about him.
"I- I don't know! I think she spilled boiling water on herself??"
"Well that much is obvious." Both young men were scared to touch you. They'd never seen you so broken before. They didn't know whether you would lash out at them or not.
"I poured water on me.. I dunno why.. my eyes hurt so bad.." You whimpered.
Kai's sigh was full of agitation as he crouched beside Hari. "I should have known better than to think you listening to me was a good sign."
When you opened your eyes, all you could see were a mix of bright colors. You blinked a few times and rubbed them again and again, only to watch in horror as your vision got worse. "I- I can't see! I CAN'T SEE!!"
"What?"
"Impossible."
A couple other members followed the sound of commotion, asking about what was going on as well. All while you laid there in denial about your vision going dim. You kept rubbing them, assuming this to be a trick on the mind or something. It wasn't. After about a minute, you couldn't even see blurry light. This only added to your reasons for crying.
Hari elbowed the man beside him. "Fix her eyes or something!"
A second later, Kai's hand was placed over your eyes. Your crying stilled in anticipation. But, after a moment, the man drew his hand away with again another sigh. "They're cooked. Unless one of you wants to donate your eyes, there isn't anything I can do to fix the nerve damage." Silence followed. No one here was willing to impair their own vision for your stupid decision making. Seriously though, why weren't your eyes fixing themselves?! The rest of your body was completely fine now! Guess there were limits your quirk even you didn't know about. Perhaps in relation to why your limbs didn't grow back or why your father's facial features didn't return after using your mom's quirk to heal him somewhat. Guess this quirk is meant simply to keep you alive. Whether or not you were fully functional was outside its concerns.
Having noticed how much Kai's touch had seemed to comfort you, Hari grabbed your hand after the brunette stood up and caringly rubbing the back of it with his thumb. That did help to calm you some while Kai returned to his room, grabbed his phone, and started making calls. You could hear him just outside the kitchen talking to Pops about what happened and what they should do with you now. The unstable bundle of neurons you were, you started to panic inside, worrying that this crippling would diminish your worth. Who knows? They might finally decide you aren't worth the trouble and ship you off to a completely different Yakuza to be some old man's child bride or something! Ghh, you still couldn't wrap your head around the concept of being blind, especially forever!
"Yes, Pops. Understood." Kai hung up the phone and nudged your leg with his foot. "Get into some dry clothes. We're taking you to the hospital immediately."
Hari helped your stuttering mess onto your feet. "Th-tb-tp-the what!? Yu-yu-you really think they can fix my eyes if you can't?!"
"Not for your eyes. Your mind. We're sending you to the mental hospital. You're clearly unwell."
"I'M--" You cut yourself off there. As much as you didn't want to admit Kai was right, he was. "But hospital trips cost money..."
"Yeah? And so do funerals.. Come on." Another hand wrapped behind you, this time simply to nudge you to start walking. You obliged, falling into cautious steps with Hari there to guide you.
You got a pretty good idea for another reason why they would send you away. You needed help simply finding dry clothes to wear. You needed assistance in being led to the bathroom to change in, and it took you far longer than usual to do simple things such as washing your hands and ensuring your clothes were in place.
But, there was one positive to all of this at least. You no longer had to avoid looking in the mirror, or worry about where to look while talking, or having to see the sorry faces of the people around you. Finally, you could focus on your own inner world. It was a dark place, but.. it didn't feel quite as lonely as the one outside.
That was your problem. The issue that drove you to near insanity.
You were terrified of being alone.
...
Well, now you were alone. Especially as you were taken to the institute where not a soul knew you.
Here, you were forced to face that fear all by yourself. Guess now was a better time than never to finally face it. The monster that made you so sick in the head.