A sudden BANG jerked me awake and for a few seconds, I stared around in panic. The TV screen flickered in my dimly lit living room casting colors across the walls. Like Jennie was playing on the music station, as my heart raced like I had just awoken from a nightmare.
My pulse thumped painfully in my temples and it felt like the room was spinning. I turn down the volume of the radio and look across the room to Levi who was snoring lightly, sprawled on the couch. He had a pack of sour chips hugged to his chest and an empty soda can laid on the floor beneath his feet which hung from the couch.
I had forgotten that he came over that morning. He must've gotten bored and slept off since I couldn't stop sleeping either.
I looked at the antique clock on the wall; 1:32pm.
Goodness, was I really that drunk?
I stood up to go get some water to drink and a wild wave of nausea hit me. I rushed to the guest bathroom, since it was closest, sat on the floor by the toilet bowl and threw up till my guts felt tied up.
I'm never drinking again, I said to myself, then chuckled silently knowing it was a lie.
I flushed and walked to the wash basin, grabbed my toothbrush and put some paste on it. As I brushed my teeth, I felt lighter, somewhat better.
I began to think about what happened the night before.
Harmony disappearing for the entire party she invited me to. My new friend, Tyler, who made his Uber drop me off at home before proceeding to his, after we exchanged phone numbers and IGs and… Giselle.
I didn't want to think about her or remember the images I'd seen when she had touched my arm. It was a friendly gesture, but it felt sore to me. Like she had rubbed against a wound that was yet to heal, but those wounds weren't mine. They belonged to her. Her touch lingered on my arm. It carried pain and whispered, just like a silent plea for help in my mind.
I might had seen her as a mean girl in the past, but as I stood there in front of the mirror with the toothpaste froth forming around the corners of my mouth, I saw her as a different person. Someone who was torn. Someone who loved too hard, who killed her self-esteem in the ego of a selfish man. Her snickers and rude jokes, the way she gossiped and threw embarrassing nicknames at people, all seemed to disappear beneath her silent, yet painful sobs, sleepless nights and anxiety.
I saw his tattooed face, with a scar which ran from the bottom of his left nostril through to his left jaw, smirking like an animal who caught his prey in a corner and knew they couldn't escape. He towered over her, cussing violently as she stood there silent, with tears flowing down her rosy cheeks. When he was silent, his fists did the talking and then she was the one screaming.
A chill ran through my spine, and I rinsed my mouth then got into the shower, hoping that somehow, the water would drain my thoughts.
I walked into my room, got cleaned up and as I combed my devastatingly tangled hair, I saw a picture of her in my mind again.
Urgh, Noa, get over it, I shook my head and forced my eyes shut, throwing my comb unto the dressing table.
I put on some shorts and a tank top when I heard a booming voice, "Giselle!" and a loud bang on the door.
My heart left my chest to my throat and I turned sharply in a 360 degree trying to find where the voice came from and then suddenly, I was not in my room.
It was a spacious living room, with tall windows draped in soft, neutral-toned linen curtains that let in plenty of natural light. My feet were cold and I looked down to see I was still barefooted on floors that were polished hardwood.
At the center of the room was a cozy sofa in ivory, accented with luxe velvet throw pillows, a sleek glass coffee table sitting in front, adorned with a stack of fashion books and a Jo Malone candle.
At one end of the room, I saw Giselle in a bathing robe, her eyes dark, like she had just awoken from a deep sleep, her hair looking like a bird's nest, walking hurriedly down the stairs from her bedroom and to the door.
"Jeez, hold on," she said, "I'm coming, what are you yelling about?"
She opened the door and in an instant was thrown across the room. I gasped then immediately covered my mouth, scared that I would be noticed by her or the terrifying person who just walked into the room after her, but they totally ignored my presence, if I even was, at all, present.
"Where the fuck were you last night?" he bellowed.
She scrambled futilely, trying to re-tie the belt of her robe which had loosened as she had flown across the room, and trying to stand up at the same time.
"What…what are you talking about?!" she yelled back, her eyes tearing up, "I told you I was going to a party at Brian's!"
"Who the fuck did you go with?!" he barked as he bent and pulled her up by her hair and a piercing shriek ripped from her throat.
"Please…," she whimpered.
"You were with that freak again, weren't you?"
"Please, Jonas," she begged, "he's just my friend, I couldn't go there alone, I didn't feel safe, Jordan wasn't going…"
"Then why the fuck didn't you just stay home, huh? You think that twink was somehow going to protect you?" he laughed loudly, "are you joking?"
She burst into tears, "please let me go, you're hurting me…please…"
"I told you to stop fucking around, didn't I? You insufferable slut," he slapped her across the face, and she screamed, then grabbed a Voss water bottle from the side stool beside her and smashed it into his head.
"You fucking…!" he snarled, as he let go of her and she stumbled backwards, a small bleeding cut by his temple line-up.
She tried to run out through the front door when he ran and blocked her path, grabbing her, slapping her then throwing her again across the room.
He walked over to her and began punching her all over, in her face and in her stomach as her arms curled over her head, trying to shield herself.
Blood trickled from her temple and her breaths were ragged, choked with sobs.
I couldn't move and could only watch as I felt trapped in her pain, in her fear, feeling every ounce of it like it was mine.
"I do everything for you," he growled as he administered more blows, "I give you as much money as you need, and you have the balls to raise your hand at me?"
"We didn't do anything, he's just a friend, Jonas, you know he's just a friend. Please, let me go, please…" she begged, her voice croaking.
And then…
He wiped the sweat from his brow, breathing heavily, and he walked past me and towards the stairs. My pulse spiked as I forced my consciousness into the twisted abyss that were his thoughts, and I saw the gun.
He was going to get a gun.