Chapter 19: The Weight of Contempt
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A Day That Drags On
The lessons blur together, a monotonous hum in the background of my thoughts.
No matter how hard I try to focus, my mind keeps returning to this morning.
That thing.
That impossible shadow.
It wasn't real. It couldn't be.
And yet—
The cold sensation on the back of my neck, the way my breath hitched in my throat…
It felt real.
Too real.
I rub my temples, trying to push the unease aside.
But Jason Carter and his pack of degenerates have no intention of letting that happen.
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Jason Carter – The Kind of Scum You Despise
It's almost admirable, how persistent they are.
Almost.
If it weren't so pathetic.
Jason Carter—Southwood High's reigning piece of trash—doesn't need to swing fists to be vile.
He and his pack of spineless vermin have turned cruelty into an art form.
Today, they're being subtle.
Whispers.
Little jabs.
Nothing loud enough to get them in trouble.
Just enough to crawl under my skin.
I don't need to hear the exact words to know what they're saying.
The way they lean in, smirking.
The way Jason locks eyes with me, his grin a mockery of confidence.
Every fiber of my being loathes him.
Not just for the beatings.
Not just for the humiliations.
But for the sheer, pathetic enjoyment he gets from it all.
Jason Carter isn't just a bully.
He's the worst kind of person.
The kind that thrives on breaking others.
And his pack of brainless parasites—Luke, Brandon, and Ryan—are no better.
Spineless, sadistic leeches, feeding off Jason's cruelty like starving rats.
I grit my teeth, refusing to let them see a reaction.
They want a response.
They won't get one.
Not today.
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Lunchtime – A Bitter Taste
The bell rings, and for once, I'm grateful.
At least lunch offers a break from their never-ending poison.
The cafeteria is chaotic, a noisy hive of voices blending together.
I grab my food quickly, scanning for a place to sit alone.
A small corner away from the crowd.
A moment of peace.
But even here, Jason's presence lingers.
His laughter—sharp, biting, filled with unearned arrogance—cuts through the room like a rusted blade.
I glance toward their table.
Jason leans back, completely at ease, surrounded by his pack of filth, his voice carrying just enough to be heard.
Mocking.
Taunting.
Even when they're not near me, they still find ways to ruin everything.
I take a bite of my food.
It's tasteless.
Bland.
Like everything else has become since they started making my life a living hell.
I swallow, forcing it down.
But the bitterness remains.
Not just in my mouth.
But in my soul.
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Hating Myself for What I Am
I lower my head, gripping my fork too tightly.
I hate them.
I hate them so much.
But more than that—
I hate myself.
For being pathetic.
For being weak.
For sitting here, letting them win.
Letting them exist, breathing the same air as me, while I can do nothing.
They walk around untouchable, laughing at my pain.
And I?
I just endure.
Like I always have.
Like I always will.
The realization chokes me.
I am nothing.
A joke.
A punching bag that even fate refuses to acknowledge.
And that thought—that truth—
Burns more than any wound Jason has ever given me.
I grit my teeth, my nails digging into my palm.
No.
I don't want to feel like this.
Not anymore.
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AHatred That Festers
As I sit there, the weight of everything presses down.
The bullying. The vision. The exhaustion.
But more than anything—
The hatred.
The sheer, seething disgust I feel toward Jason Carter and his pack of rabid dogs.
I don't just want them to stop.
I want them to suffer.
I want them to break.
I want them to feel every ounce of pain they've inflicted—and more.
I clench my fists under the table, jaw tight, breathing slow and controlled.
No.
Not yet.
Not here.
But someday.
Someday soon.
They won't be laughing anymore.