I was glad that Toby finally came to his senses and is letting me have fun. I was starting to think that the only person I came with was gonna turn their back on me but that was not the case. When I came to this party I had no intentions of mingling or drinking or even playing this game I am waiting on a line for. I thought I was just going to watch everyone have fun and just pretend as if I don't exist at all.
I looked at everyone then something at the back of my mind whispered 'It's not worth it'. I looked down and then at Toby who was still holding my hand. "I wanna go home", I said in a low voice as if I was doubting myself and what I just said.
"What's wrong?, you not feeling okay?", he asked all worried as all his attention was focused on me and trying to make sure that I'm fine.
I didn't even think about it and before Toby could register what the fuck is happening I just starting running towards the house. I was panicking and all these negative thoughts were not making my situation any better. 'Is it the alcohol ? am I panicking because I am drunk' . I could hear Toby's voice as he began chasing after me.
"SAGE!!, COME BACK!! WHAT'S WRONG??..STOP!!", he yelled out for me to stop running.
I bumped into a lot of people when I got inside the house and my fist instinct was to rush upstairs and find a quiet room for me to clam down and deal with my thoughts, far away from everyone. I opened the first door I caught my eye on and quickly opened it, got inside and banged the door shut. I took a deep breath in and as I slide down I released it all out. I started to feel a bit nauseous and all of a sudden I started crying for no reason. All of the emotions that I have been avoiding since I got my report card started coming out and It felt so heavy on my heart, I couldn't keep it inside anymore.
A loud knock jogged me out of my thoughts and I could feel my heart racing until I heard a voice that sounded very familiar. "Sage? It's Danny. Can I come inside?", he asked in a soothing tone.
I hesitated for a moment, unsure on what to do next. I quickly wiped my tears, fixed my dress and took one last deep breath before opening the door. I looked down so that he could not see that I was crying and start asking me questions that I'm not ready to answer, not now and not ever. The more I looked down, the more I panicked and I could feel my right hand slightly shaking and before I could step back to let him enter, he grabbed my hand.
"It's okay, you don't have to fake being fine around me", he said as he pulled me inside the room and closed the door behind him.
I felt embarrassed right now because this was a party not a sad place for me to bother other people with my sadness. My hand stopped shaking and I looked at Danny who was leading me towards the bed. "Take a sit and calm down for me, Okay?", he said while sitting next to me and rubbing my back in a gentle way. I wanted to be alone but having him here is not so bad plus I'm sure he's just being kind to me since he's Toby's friend.
"What are you doing here and how did you find me?", I asked the first thing that came to my mind. I expected Toby to be by my side, not that I have a problem with Danny being here and stuff.
"You bumped into me on your way upstairs without saying anything and I figured something was wrong so I followed you and here I am right me now", he sighed and looked at me with a soft gaze in his eyes. You could tell he was concerned for me.
"Do you wanna talk about it?", he asked.
"No offense, but I don't feel comfortable talking to you about it", I said. I could feel the nauseous feeling coming back, 'great, I don't need to be dealing with this too' I thought to myself.
"Where's the bathroom??", I asked getting up because this time I don't think I can stomach it down.
"It's just right behind that door", he pointed to a door behind me that I have never saw since I never checked the surroundings of this room.
I quickly rushed toward the door and before I could even get down on my knees I started buking out all the alcohol in my system. 'Tonight's lesson is, never drink again, ever' . What a way to end a night.
Danny came in rushing to see what was the problem and by the look on is face he was worried when I gave him a quick glance at his face and I kept on bulking. I felt a hand on my back slowing rubbing it in a slow and gentle manner and I was sure he was just doing what he thought was best at the time and to be honest, that was a sweet gesture.
After what felt like a dream and I'm probably at home in my bed, I snapped back to reality and I tired to get up from that uncomfortable position of me being on my knees while vomiting all the alcohol out. Danny helped me get up, " had a lot to drink tonight?" he said chuckling. I don't know what was so amusing to him. I gave him a confused look and he just stared at me as if I was suppose to get the joke.
"by the way you're looking at me, makes me question if it's your first time drinking or you were just trying to get over something"
I guess someone like him must have experience when it came to certain stuff like that. I was still wondering where in the hell has Toby went because I'm probably sure that he is still looking for me right now and he is right, I'm still trying to figure out a lot of shit that is happening in my life right now.
I sighed, "Yea, I'm going through some personal stuff" I said while trying to focus my mind back to reality.
"Wanna talk about it?", he asked again.