"So, this is probably not going to go as well as we hoped it would. They're mostly ambivalent to each other," Jiraiya said, leaning back on the plush armchair that he'd just pulled out of a storage seal. He'd never liked the uncomfortable wooden chairs that were all over the Hokage tower. "And Naruko and Satsuki just dislike each other too much."
"I disagree," a voice spoke, as the door to the Hokage's office opened, showing that behind it stood one Mitokado Homura, followed behind by Utatane Koharu and Shimura Danzo, who hobbled bringing up the rear. "This team will work," Homura added.
Koharu nodded with a grim expression on her face. "There are ways to force a bond upon them. I trust that you are more than capable of forcing the appropriate situations, Jiraiya," she said.
"Of course I am," the toad sage said, glaring at the old, dried up prunes, not caring in the slightest for the slight against his abilities.
"Good. Then I see no problem. They do not have personalities that would clash beyond a bond forged in the fires of conflict," Homura stated, simply. "Their squabbles are petty and meaningless, after all, and most likely would cease if familiarity brings understanding, as we hope."
"If, perhaps, someone had made more of an effort to curb a certain spoiled brat's ego and arrogance—"
Danzo never got to finish that sentence, because the room's temperature lowered quite a few degrees. "When I require your parenting advice, Councilman, I will request it. Until then, kindly keep your opinions to yourself," Minato said with a smile on his face. It was a smile that could send most shinobi running for the hills.
"Duly noted," Danzo said, dryly, making a show of proving he was not intimidated. "I suppose, then, that you would not consent to letting your daughter receive extraneous training today, yes?"
"You'd be right," Minato said. "You will never have her. Not now, not ever."
Jiraiya grinned. "By the by, I really should return this to you," he said, pulling a small scroll edged in black on both sides from the inner pockets of his red vest and handing it to Danzo. "Spying on a spymaster, Danzo? Bad form, that."
At this, the one eyed, scarred councilman huffed. "It's an insignificant loss."
"And then you go on to wonder why you'll never be Hokage," Minato said, shaking his head. "Now, Jiraiya and I were having a conversation, so if you could kindly leave, I'd be most appreciative," Minato said, offering Homura and Koharu a smile that, much like the one he'd given to Danzo before, clearly conveyed that he'd tolerate no dissent.
The councilmen, and woman, excused themselves and promptly left, leaving Jiraiya and Minato alone. "I still don't know why I'm the one doing this. Wouldn't Kakashi be a better choice?" Jiraiya asked.
Minato sighed and shook his head. "No. Kakashi would pit them against each other in an attempt to get them to spur each other into success, while trying to build camaraderie based on their rivalry. You know, kind of how Gai would jump to defend Kakashi from anyone else because he's the only one allowed to defeat Kakashi," the Hokage said, looking up at the ceiling. "With most teams, particularly when they come with pre-formed rivalries, it'd take a little work, but the possible rewards would be great. In this case, though…"
Jiraiya frowned. "We can't take the associated risks, right?" Jiraiya asked. "They might grow to hate each other, and that would be terrible."
At this, the student looked at his teacher as if he'd just said something so obvious and idiotic that only someone who's obviously idiotic could've said it. Jiraiya just grinned in response, probably having done it on purpose to annoy Minato. "We've worked too hard on setting all three of them on the right path to lose track of it now."
The toad sage nodded. "I know," he said, "but we won't be able to keep guiding them the way we have now for much longer. It'll be up to them soon enough."
"I can only hope we did enough…" Minato said, turning around and looking at Konoha from above, through the window behind the Hokage's desk, with his hands clasped behind his back.
"Heh. Sensei's been giving you lessons on old man talk and poses?" Jiraiya asked, grinning like a fool.
Minato pouted.
***
"So, did you all eat breakfast?" Jiraiya asked.
"I did," Haruto noted, looking somewhat sheepish.
"This looked like something Kakashi might do. So I did too," Satsuki admitted, raising an eyebrow as if to tell him that his bluff had been called.
Naruko frowned and looked at the both of them. "Disobeying orders—"
Jiraiya raised one hand and then brought it down to pat her head. "Actually, Princess, they're in the right here. It was never an order. It was a suggestion. You're all going to have to do heavy physical exercise today, so I told you not to eat a heavy breakfast. A light snack would've been best," he said, nodding.
At this, Naruko frowned. "Truly?" she asked, looking somewhat distressed at being proven wrong.
"Yep. Anyway, let's move on to the meat right from the get go, okay?" Jiraiya said, moving from his position until he stood in front of his lined up students. Then he dug into his pocket and produced a pair of silver bells. One of them had a small scratch, but they were otherwise unremarkable. He showed them to his students and then used a piece of string to attach them to the hem of his red vest. "As you can see, I've tied a pair of bells to my clothes. Whoever gets a bell will become an elite shinobi. The other will be relegated to the main forces," Jiraiya stated, smiling widely. "Any questions?"
"Yes, actually, how does this test make any sense given the four man team structure that all five of the Great Shinobi Villages tend to favor?" Satsuki asked, crossing her arms.
"There hasn't been a deviation of this for Elite teams for twenty years. Genin Teams are only three or two men strong in case of a deceased teammate," Haruto noted, "and even then, the missing team member is usually quickly replaced. Genin teams under chunin are never less than three to a chunin, while the standard averages at six," he added, expanding further.
"There are currently two Elite teams in need of a teammate, who were waiting for this Genin Graduation to get the members they were missing. The two of you who remain in the elite forces from here will join one of those teams, and the 'surplus' genin will be put on the other team. It's overly complicated and unnecessarily complex, but Sensei has his reasons to do things the way he does," Jiraiya said, shrugging. "Anyway, if you want to remain elites, then you'll have to take one of these," he said, smacking the bells with his fingers and making them jingle, "from me. If you hold back at all, you won't even be able to touch me, so put your backs into it."
The three genin nodded, the seriousness of the situation clear.
Jiraiya grinned.
"Get ready? Set? Go!"
And then he was gone in a blur of leaves and smoke.
He'd never said he'd remain in the training ground, after all.