Ren, the Eternal Naplord, the Supreme Recliner, the Monarch of Maximum Recline, was experiencing something deeply troubling.
He had reached a state of existence so perfected… that even his naps were becoming too efficient.
This wasn't a joke. Just last night, he had closed his eyes for what felt like a brief moment, and when he opened them, three weeks had passed, half the continent had ascended to a new era of prosperity, and someone had built a statue of him in every major city—each depicting him in various states of reclining glory.
Aria, as usual, was losing her mind.
"REN! YOU SLEPT THROUGH A GOLDEN AGE!" she shrieked, slamming a book onto the table.
Ren, groggily rubbing his eyes, stretched and yawned. "Mmm. Sounds nice."
"NO, IT'S NOT NICE! Do you even know what happened?!" Aria jabbed her finger at a series of reports stacked up beside her. "Trade has TRIPLED. Literacy rates are at 100%. Wars have completely vanished. A new economic system based entirely on the concept of 'rest equity' was formed while you were ASLEEP! DO YOU REALIZE WHAT THIS MEANS?!"
Ren blinked. "Uh… things are going well?"
Aria threw her hands in the air. "THEY'RE GOING TOO WELL! We have NOTHING TO DO! The economy is running itself, disputes solve themselves, crime doesn't exist anymore because even thieves are too well-rested to bother stealing!"
The system chimed.
---
[Passive Ability Activated: Rewarded for Inaction]
[Effect: The less effort you expend, the more the world improves on its own.]
[Bonus Effect: People will instinctively know what you would want and act accordingly.]
---
Ren blinked at the notification. Then, slowly, a smirk spread across his face. "So… I'm saying the world is running better… because I'm doing nothing?"
Aria twitched violently. "Yes."
Garth, who had been quietly sipping tea in the corner, nodded sagely. "Truly, this is the peak of governance."
Another messenger ran in, panting, bowing deeply before presenting an ornate scroll. "Your Majesty! The High Council of Scholars has determined that your mere existence is a stabilizing force for the world! They have officially declared the new timeline as 'The Era of Reclining Enlightenment!'"
Ren nodded approvingly. "Good name."
Aria's hands trembled as she tried to contain her fury. "REN. You do NOTHING. And the world just… FIXES ITSELF?!"
The system chimed again.
---
[New Title Unlocked: The Unmoving Emperor]
[Effect: As long as you remain stationary, the world will continue to function in an optimal state.]
[Bonus Effect: Any attempts to disturb you will be met with divine resistance.]
---
Before Aria could react, the doors burst open again.
A group of scholars, kings, and nobles knelt before Ren. "O Divine Monarch, we have come to humbly ask you for wisdom!"
Ren tilted his head. "Uh… what's the problem?"
One of the nobles hesitated. "W-We… We do not have a problem."
Aria blinked. "Then why are you here?!"
The scholars shuffled awkwardly. "Because… we have solved all problems, and now we require guidance on what to do next."
A long silence fell over the room.
Ren stared at them.
They stared back, full of awe and expectation.
Ren slowly leaned back into his throne.
The system chimed again.
---
[Passive Ability Activated: Divine Guidance Through Silence]
[Effect: The less you speak, the more people perceive your silence as infinite wisdom.]
[Bonus Effect: Rulers, scholars, and advisors will instinctively make the right decisions as long as they believe you approve.]
---
The scholars gasped.
"The Silent Wisdom of the Reclining One!" one whispered in reverence.
"His lack of response… means we must seek our own enlightenment!" another declared.
Within seconds, they all stood and bowed. "Thank you, O Wise One! We shall meditate upon your wisdom and guide the world accordingly!"
They left, looking more determined than ever.
Aria stared at them. Then at Ren. Then back at them. Then at Ren again.
She grabbed the nearest pillow and screamed into it.
Ren yawned, stretching again. "Well. Looks like things are working out."
Garth smirked. "You truly are an inspiration, Your Majesty."
Aria sat down, rubbing her temples. "I hate you."
Ren grinned. "Love you too."
And so, the Crisis of Supreme Prosperity… was effortlessly resolved.
By doing nothing.
Again.
---