Venice I have one thing to say to you....nothing in this life is perfect. I'm sure you know that. Not even the one thing we could depend on is fine is never fine. But I bet you already knew that didn't you? That the home youre living in is a lie. A lie that you have to tolerate because of the way childhood is structured.
I was taking my time in literature and then your dear mother shows up here. I know you don't care about her, but you used to. It wasn't worth the hurt to have all the hurt if you found out she was laughing and flirting with a younger guy. One who I was well acquainted with. Oh you should see it.
It's not a sight you'll be able to bear. Its one of your fears. I read it and I understood it. Trust me I do. You're afraid that the glue holding your family together would start to wear out and then the cracks will become harder and harder to ignore. And as always one of them, either your parents always have a justification for it. Your mom, from the way she was looking seems to be; she wanted to focus on herself, be herself again.
She wasn't the same after she married your father and had you. She was a social life, the life of the room and party, the force that brought vibrancy to the people around her. Marriage broke her. Marriage stripped her of all that. And she took it out on you so many times. Your family isn't as private as you think, Venice. You might be your typical American family, but with its own traditional secrets.
I didn't understand a damn word I was reading on my book of the mind and it's ways of how it deals with its kinks. Something's need to be seen and demonstrated reading was getting me nowhere. But I won't touch you....not yet. Not when you have a fire about to start right under your nose.
Your mom was looking at this man like her life depended on it, but that was from my point of view. Her face was glowing with the way her smile stretched out. Her eyes were like stars and from her body language, it wasn't sexual not at all. It was a comfortable leaning back posture even the way she laughed. Her hand over her mouth and the sound was genuine and crazy.
She was in love.
Why are couples this messed up Venice? Why do they always choose to bring us into a world they can't even dedicate to.
I stood and past them. As much as this was your business I couldn't watch anymore. I saw you hurt so much for one bastard, this would break you. Which means this is pushing me ahead of schedule.
SUNDAY CAME
You were waiting for me out in the theatre with your hands full of snacks. I'd let you enjoy, snacks were an enemy to my health and physique. What was that smile? What was that relieved expression? Ah.....you were waiting for today, just as much as I was. Jackpot.
"And I must apologise for my lateness. Not very gentlemanly of me." I say and you sigh a little but that smile doesn't even waver.
"Kalique is to blame not you. You had a shift today it's okay." I gently took the burden from her hands and got into the theatre. Thank god it was the last viewing so technically there was practically nobody in there. We sat smack in the middle for the view.
We sat and the movie started it was dystopia and sci fi something I know you'd enjoy based on your watchlist. I don't think I've had a chance to see you this closely. To master the way your eyebrows crease when something you saw didn't please you. Your bottom lip between your teeth when you're focused on something entirely. I'd bite and suck that lip until it was red and swollen your eyes glistening with tears. Fuck. Hose books were doing something to me.
"I love this actor, I can't believe how good he is." You could tell I was staring. You wouldn't turn your head. If I had one taste, if I had one taste that was it. That sealed the deal with you and me. This was my last chance to walk away and not involve myself in your life again. If I tasted you, I would chain you to me. You'd scream for freedom. And sadly I don't give freedom out as easily. Never will. Never have.
"You really have no idea." I murmur and her head finally snaps to my direction and I...
I fold.
"What don't I have an idea about?" You ask and I smile. Again. That's the second time you see me smile and I'm not amused I'm frustrated about this glass door in my way between us.
"This friends bullshit. Fuck it I'll go crazy." I finally say and that wasn't me Venice. That was horniness talking. I swear I had never touched a woman let alone kissed one but my control was slipping. I couldn't imagine you anywhere but crying out for me, kneeling for me to set you free.
"Q, we shouldn't."
"Lie to me that the way your clenching your thighs doesn't mean anything." I say and my voice sounds breathless. My body had a defect.
"If that's your version of asking permission, then we have a problem." Permission?
Your drink drops by our fight as my lips found the corner of your mouth. Then behind your ear. And then your throat. Your pulse, your scent, your taste. I knew it. Everything leading to this moment I know it would bring me nothing but grief. You smell like the one thing I was missing all my life. Like alcohol or a drug.
I feel your skin grow hotter and you tremble as my lips linger and then you turn towards me completely. My hand reaches out and taps at your lips, tracing a line over your bottom lip, and it slid down to your throat and then your chest.
"Stop." I whisper and I stand to walk out to get some air. I was telling myself more than her and why did the inside of my pants hurt. It aches. I need to keep my head straight right now.