The Mercenaries of Mayhem had somehow returned from the dragon's lair alive, in one piece, and not on fire—which was a personal record.
Back in Border Town, they stood before Lady Evelyn, who looked genuinely surprised to see them.
"You're… alive?" Evelyn raised an elegant eyebrow.
Jim, looking offended, took a swig from his flask. "Wow. No faith in us at all?"
Evelyn crossed her arms. "I only hired you because no competent mercenary would take the job. The dragon's reputation is…" She paused. "Lethal."
Bob puffed up his chest. "Well, turns out, we're very resourceful."
Derek muttered, "That is not the word I would use."
Evelyn's eyes flicked to the small, glowing blue potion in Bob's hands. "And you actually found the elixir?"
Bob grinned and held it up dramatically. "Behold! The Elixir of Youth!"
Evelyn's eyes narrowed. "That looks… suspiciously real."
Marcus coughed. "That's because it is! Totally. Absolutely. Definitely the elixir."
Jim nodded. "Yup. Not at all a random potion we got from an alchemy-experimenting dragon."
Everyone stared at him.
Jim took another drink. "What?"
Evelyn sighed, looking at the potion with mild suspicion. "And you're sure this is the real thing?"
Bob nodded aggressively. "Absolutely! But, you know… if you want to test it first—"
Evelyn turned to one of her oldest, most weathered guards. The man was easily in his sixties, with a face that had seen too much and eyes that screamed, I have seen enough bullshit.
Evelyn smiled sweetly. "Sir Rowan."
The guard sighed. "I knew this was coming."
She handed him the potion. "A sip, if you would."
Rowan took the potion, stared at it, then at the mercenaries. "If this kills me, I'm haunting all of you."
Jim saluted him. "Respect."
The old guard took a small sip… and everyone held their breath.
Silence.
Rowan blinked. Then… he stood up straighter.
The bags under his eyes lessened. The scar on his cheek faded. He cracked his neck, and his joints didn't make a sound for the first time in twenty years.
The room stared.
Rowan flexed his fingers. "…Huh."
Jim leaned in. "How do you feel, old man?"
Rowan rolled his shoulders. "Like I just got a damn good night's sleep."
Evelyn's eyes lit up. "It works?"
Bob, shocked that this was actually going well, quickly nodded. "Yup! See? Totally real!"
Marcus muttered under his breath, "Oh gods, we actually pulled this off."
Jim grinned, patting Bob's back. "We're either geniuses or the luckiest idiots alive."
Bam nodded. "There are always exceptions."
Evelyn, clearly pleased, set the potion down. "Interesting… This potion is remarkably powerful."
Bob nodded quickly. "Oh yeah, super powerful. Magic-y. Youth-y."
Evelyn glanced at them. "You know, my sources say that dragons have incredibly high resistance to potions. Even strong magic barely affects them."
The group stiffened.
Evelyn tapped the glass vial. "Which means that for a human, a potion that barely affects a dragon could feel… well, miraculous."
Derek coughed. "Ahem!"
Evelyn narrowed her eyes. "Tell me… what happened at the dragon's lair?"
The mercenaries exchanged glances.
Bob cleared his throat. "Well, uh, we fought very, very hard."
Jim nodded. "Yeah, super intense battle. Brutal, really."
Marcus added, "Couldn't quite kill it, though."
Bam nodded sagely. "But we injured it."
Derek sighed, rubbing his face. "Very… badly. Yes. Definitely a lot of injuries."
Evelyn studied them, unimpressed. "You fought a notoriously deadly dragon and lived?"
Bob gave an exaggerated nod. "Absolutely!"
Jim crossed his arms. "Honestly, it should be dead, but, uh… dragons are stubborn."
Marcus threw in, "Really slippery too."
Bam just smiled. "Majestic."
Evelyn narrowed her eyes for a long, suspicious moment.
Then she shrugged. "Well. I suppose it doesn't matter. You got the elixir, after all."
Evelyn smirked. "Well then… a deal is a deal."
And just like that, the Mercenaries of Mayhem had officially won themselves a new home.