Henry ran. And screamed. And probably peed a little.
Seraphina charged after him, towel flapping like a cape, war cries echoing through the palace halls. Moistessa floated behind them, camera still rolling. The caption she was muttering under her breath? "Live footage of the downfall of masculinity."
"I WAS JUST HOLDING IT FOR A FRIEND!" Henry yelled.
"YOU DON'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS!" Seraphina shouted back.
"FAIR, BUT RUDE!"
They turned a corner—and smacked face-first into Thrustina, who had apparently been waiting with a net, a turkey baster, and a suspiciously pink helmet.
"I KNEW YOU'D RUN, SCENT-GOBLIN!" she roared.
Henry screamed again.
Moistessa giggled. "This is the best episode yet."
Within seconds, Henry was tangled in the net, Seraphina was hitting him with a rolled-up scroll titled The Official Handbook of Royal Consent, and Thrustina was somehow trying to attach a chastity belt made of enchanted spaghetti.
"THIS IS SEXUAL VIOLENCE!" Henry yelled.
"It's called foreplay," Seraphina corrected.
Henry paused. "Wait, really?"
"No, idiot."
But then… the floor trembled.
Everyone froze.
The walls shook.
Somewhere in the distance… a low rumble.
"Is that... thunder?" Thrustina whispered.
"No," Moistessa said, floating slowly upward, her eyes wide.
"It's the war-banana."
They all turned in horror as a massive, glowing yellow blur zoomed past the hallway, vibrating so violently it left scorch marks on the walls. Screaming maids ran in every direction. A potted plant exploded.
Henry stared. "It's alive."
Seraphina muttered, "Oh goddess… Boinkzilla has awakened."
The war-banana had somehow merged with the remnants of Seraphina's old vibrating staff, absorbed Moistessa's spare battery packs, and now roared through the palace like a horny dragon. Its new name: Boinkzilla Prime.
"WE HAVE TO STOP IT!" Thrustina yelled.
"I vote we run and start a new life," Henry said.
"Nope. This is our mess. We're handling it," Seraphina said firmly.
Henry sighed. "Fine. But if I die, delete my search history."
---
The Battle of Boinkzilla
They regrouped in the palace courtyard, where Boinkzilla was currently ravaging a statue of Queen Bustalina IV. It had wrapped itself around the marble bosom and was vibrating so hard the statue was starting to hum.
Moistessa, floating like a ghost of perversion, clicked her tongue. "That's historically accurate, actually."
Henry raised his hand. "I have a question."
"No, you can't ride it," Seraphina snapped.
"But I wasn't—okay maybe a little."
Thrustina cracked her knuckles. "We need a plan."
"WE?" Henry shouted. "Why am I always the emotional support slut in these situations?!"
"Because your face makes people want to sin," Seraphina said flatly.
"…Thank you?"
They huddled.
Thrustina: "We build a trap using forbidden fruits." Seraphina: "We lure it with scented oils and suppressed trauma." Moistessa: "We let it win and join its harem."
Henry: "Can I just offer myself as a sacrifice and get it over with?"
They stared.
"…That could work," Seraphina said.
"Wait I was joking—"
---
Operation Horny Bait
Henry stood in the middle of the courtyard, shirtless, glistening with oil, holding a sign that read: FREE THIGHS, NO STRINGS ATTACHED.
"Why is this my life," he whispered.
Seraphina, behind a bush, whispered back, "Because the goddess made you hot and dumb."
Moistessa had set up three cameras.
Thrustina was holding a laser pointer for some reason.
And then… it arrived.
Boinkzilla screeched.
Henry braced.
It launched.
Straight at him.
"FOR MILFORIAAAA!" Henry screamed.
---
Just as Boinkzilla was about to mount him like a rodeo bull, a figure descended from the sky.
Wings. Glitter. Fishnets.
"CLIMAXA," Seraphina gasped.
The Goddess of Orgasms landed with a sultry pirouette and slapped Boinkzilla mid-air with her divine thong.
The banana exploded in a shower of confetti and moans.
Henry collapsed.
Climaxa smiled. "Miss me?"
"Mommy?" Henry said, half-conscious.
Seraphina growled. "Don't you start."
Climaxa giggled. "Well, I see things haven't changed. Henry still makes poor choices, Moistessa's still filming smut, and Thrustina still thinks science is foreplay."
Thrustina blushed. "I'm valid."
Climaxa turned serious. "But enough playing. I came with news."
Everyone leaned in.
"The Sisterhood of Endless Heat… they've begun the Ritual of Relentless Rizz."
Gasps.
Moistessa dropped her camcorder.
Henry blinked. "The what now?"
"They plan to summon the original source of Milforia's lust. If they succeed… every woman on this planet will enter a permanent heat. Men—if any remain—will be hunted like rare Pokémon."
Henry whispered, "I'm not built for that kind of cardio."
Climaxa nodded. "Then we must stop them. You, Seraphina, Moistessa, Thrustina… and yes, even you, Henry the Downbad."
He saluted. "At your horny service."
And thus began a new arc.
An adventure.
A journey.
To the Island of Forbidden Wombs.
Where the moans never stop.
And the towels are always moist.
---