The sun's rays were shining in the sky, and it had already touched the earth with its steps. Through someone's open window, the view inside of it was glimmering. A chilly breeze filled the air; outside, everything was calm. The sky was filled with gusts of flowers. But what wind don't know that On the bed lay a thin, innocent-looking girl, sleeping with her face hidden in the pillow has storms inside her .
The alarm echoed in my ears, disturbing my sleep. Its sound pierced my rest until It made me began to wake. My head felt heavy, my throat dry, and my eyes grew weary. Still half-asleep, I rose from the bed. My eyes were half-closed, half-open. Stumbling around here and there, I reached the bathroom, opened lights, jolted in half asleep, washed my face with running water, and then looked at my reflection in the mirror. A girl with big eyes, a small nose, and chubby cheeks stared back at me—her eyes held a sorrow I could almost understand. They spoke of pain so clear that anyone could see it, or perhaps only I could. Pressing that pain back under her eyelids, the girl turned away—and so did I.
I had no desire to go to school today. My head felt unbearably heavy, and my eyes were red, yet I had to go—I needed to submit my assignment today. It was the last date, crucial for my academics so I had to go. My sister was asleep, and if I made even a sound near her door, she'd curse me free of charge. So I dressed quickly, knowing that after yesterday, I could not meet my parents' eyes. Seizing the rare moment that everyone is sleeping at this time and house is queit , I slipped out through the wooden boundary of our small house into the blue sunrise.
There was peace in this street, but I felt restless inside. I gathered my thin blanket, looked around with tearful eyes. The lane was strewn with red flowers, and the early morning air carried a sweetness that soothed me. I emerged from the lane onto the crowded road, passed the cute bakery shop, and after a few steps reached the spot where, today again, I would have to put the fake smiles for those who only ever faked smiles for me.
I walked through the hallway adorned with childish laughter—kids play-fighting, moving toward their groups of friends. Behind that laughter, who knew how much sorrow, envy, or anger was hidden? Whether that laughter was real or not, who could say? Those who laugh with their friends are never unknowingly insincere; and those who laugh for a moment—what meaning do mere moments hold?
Thinking all this, I stepped inside the four walls of my classroom.
The same noise greeted me—the one that echoed every day.
My eyes were lowered,
and weaving through laughing, joking students,
lovers, friends,
and those buried in their books,
I went and sat quietly in a corner of the class.
Today, I didn't sit where I usually did—
instead, I sat on the complete opposite side.
I just didn't want to talk to anyone.
I didn't want to meet anyone's eyes.
I wasn't angry at them.
I'm not angry at anyone.
Because who would even like me?
I'm just a small bundle of dreams—nothing more.
That's what everyone thinks…
and maybe, deep down, I think the same too.
It's just that,
perhaps I can no longer think of them the way I used to.
Somewhere in my heart, there was an unspoken desire or doubt.
But the smile on their lips—
it would carry that desire away with the wind,
as if it never existed.
.
The classroom was filled with students,
and I sat quietly in a corner among the older kids—
in a place where it was hard to spot me at first glance.
But I could still see them clearly—
Sifra, Elish, and Hugo—
as they walked into the class laughing and joking,
talking to everyone unlike me,
laughing with others,
and finally settling into their usual spots.
I kept looking at them—
they were laughing, joking…
and it didn't even occur to them
that I was missing from it all.
It hurt to realize
that to them,
I was just… a means.
Just someone who was useful,
nothing more.
I slowly turned my eyes away from them,
pulled out my novel—TGCF—
and began to read.
A little while later, the teacher walked into the classroom,
and the students quieted down.
She taught us a few things,
and then the next period began—
the one where we had to submit our assignments. She told us you have some time and then left for some time .
The students had started talking about the assignment when I suddenly heard my name—
it was Sifra's voice.
"Oh God, Freya didn't come today either. I didn't even notice! She hasn't picked up the phone since yesterday. Because of that ill-mannered girl, we might even lose our marks!"
Her voice was loud enough for everyone to hear.
Hugo tapped his hand on the desk and asked,
"Does anyone know anything about Freya?"
Everyone turned to look,
and some people, pretending not to care, went back to focusing on themselves.
Then a girl with curly hair, tanned skin, and a clearly sharp attitude said with a smirk,
"Who knows anything about a girl like her? She doesn't even talk. How is she even your friend?"
"Pain in the ass", Elish said, and everyone started laughing.
Just then, the boy sitting beside me looked at me with a surprised glance and said loudly,
"Why don't you ever speak? Do you really not have a tongue? Your friends are asking about you—there she is."
I was hearing everything they said,
but I neither felt like saying anything back nor listening anymore.
My mind was calm—
a calmness that had gathered so much pain within its depths,
that even my heart had turned still.
Just like how water, when pure, flows with force—
it has a certain passion, a thrill to it.
But when that water begins to cool,
it starts freezing, becoming hard...
and then suddenly, it turns completely silent.
I heard what that boy said,
but gave no response—
instead, I simply lowered my eyes.
Just then, I heard the sound of footsteps—
they were Sifra's. She was walking toward me.
I slightly lifted the gaze of my eyes in her direction,
and to my surprise, I noticed that more than half the class's attention was now on me.
Some were laughing while looking at me,
some had blank expressions on their faces,
and some were probably thinking of enjoying the drama like a spicy vegetable.
I looked at Sifra's face—
the same smile was there, the one I used to believe was real.
She said with that same smile,
"Sifra, I, Elish, and Hugo called you so many times…
You didn't answer our calls,
didn't check any of the messages…
Why?"
I looked at her—
in her eyes, there was perhaps a flicker of irritation,
a glimpse hidden beneath the glow of her fake smile,
so faint that it was hard to see.
Just then, I heard more footsteps—
they belonged to Elish and Hugo.
Elish looked at me and said in her sharp voice,
"Why aren't you saying anything? Got butter stuck in your mouth?"
The other kids burst out laughing. Hugo laughed too.
But Sifra gave both Elish and Hugo a warning look.
I was quietly watching and listening to all of it—
the laughter of the students,
Elish's behavior—everything.
But that cold grip within me had held me tight—
a stillness that had locked up all my emotions.
Hugo, in his heavy voice, still laughing and pretending to joke, said,
"And why are you sitting here today? Anyway, just give us our assignment—I don't want anything else."
If I were the old Freya,
I would've gotten angry at his words… and laughed too.
But right now, my heart was quiet.
So still.
Then I heard Sifra's voice:
"Freya, what happened to you? Why aren't you sitting with us today?
You brought our assignment, didn't you?
You know, when you get this quiet, we feel really bad."
Hearing her words, I was reminded of the things she said yesterday.
And the dark memory brought a small smile of sarcasm to my heart.
I looked at them and said in a low voice,
"I was sick yesterday, that's why I couldn't come.
And… that's why I didn't check my phone either."
Sifra started laughing.
Elish's face showed both a smile and a hint of irritation.
Hugo probably didn't even hear what I said—he was busy joking around with someone else.
Then Sifra looked at me again, with that same sweet voice and smile,
"You brought my assignment though, right Freya?
It's really important, you know…
It'll count for our grades.
We also have to submit it today—it's the last day."
She kept looking at me, waiting.
Hugo turned his attention to me again and said,
"Come on, give it quickly—we still have to write ours too. Did you bring it or not?"
And then he looked at me with eyes that made it feel like I was the one who had done something wrong.
Elish added,
"Freya, hurry up. Where's your bag? We'll take it ourselves."
Sifra, still smiling that same smile, said sweetly,
"Freya, we know you were sick… but this assignment matters to us too. Please help us, na."
Without waiting for my response, Elish started rummaging through my bag. She didn't even ask. And in there, she found only one assignment—the one that was mine.
"What the fuck? Where's ours?" she snapped.
Hugo, now annoyed too, said,
"Are you crazy or what? Say something! Where's our assignment?"
Sifra stayed quiet.
Elish hissed,
"Why don't you say anything? Got shit stuck in your mouth or what?"
Their words didn't shake me.
Not today.
Their noise, their selfishness… it didn't reach me anymore.
And softly, in a quiet voice, I said,
"I did make yours too. But… I lost them."
Sifra laughed—a sharp, bitter laugh that had no trace of sweetness left in it.
She looked at me, and this time, there was no fake smile, no sugary voice—just anger.
"So now you lie too, Freya?" she said, her voice colder than before.
"Now you betray us? You think you're better than us just because you're good at studying? That's why you did this, right? You were jealous of us… so you made it your responsibility to do our assignments, only to ruin them on purpose?"
I didn't respond. My eyes didn't even flinch.
Then Hugo looked at me with rage in his face, his voice loud and vile,
"You bitch! You really did this? You're jealous of us? What the hell do you think you are?"
The class had grown silent now.
Their words echoed through my chest but couldn't pierce me anymore.
I sat there, still. As if their hate was just background noise...
The whole class watched me with eyes like shards. Their stares told me I was worthless garbage. I gritted my silence.
The tension in the room felt like it was suffocating me. Every pair of eyes was on me, and the looks they gave were sharp, almost venomous—like I was nothing but dirt beneath their shoes. It hurt, but strangely, I didn't want to feel anything. My heart had already turned numb.
I didn't say a word. I couldn't. But then, a loud slap echoed across the room, pulling my attention. It came from Hugo. He slapped the table with such force that it almost made the whole class flinch. His voice, filled with mocking anger, cut through the silence.
"Is your mouth stuck or are you eating dirt?" he sneered.
"If you hate us so much, why did you laugh with us before? Why pretend? Why give us false smiles?"
His words hit me hard, much harder than I expected.
That icy hardness inside me felt sharper, and my breath caught in my throat.
But the thing that really hurt was not the anger in their voices, but the truth buried deep in what Hugo had said. Was I really pretending all this time? Did I really lie? Was I just a fake to them?
A bitter feeling rose in my chest. It felt like all the pain I had bottled up for so long was now swirling in a storm inside my head, making me want to say something… something real.
But then it hit me.
No. This wasn't about me anymore.
Why didn't they just say the truth to my face instead of hiding behind these cruel games? Why didn't they say, "We don't like you, Freya," instead of dragging me along with their lies?
I didn't want their pity. I didn't need to play this game anymore.
I finally found my voice, but it was quiet and distant, like a whisper from a place where I had already left my heart behind.
Tell us, you bitch, Elish said. if you will not give our than yours have also to be in ruin. As Elish's hand reached for my assignment, my pulse raced, but I couldn't back down now. I gripped her wrist firmly with one hand and yanked the assignment back with the other. The words I spoke were cold, cutting through the silence with a finality that felt so foreign to me, yet so necessary.
I will never do your work from today. I said, my voice sharp and unwavering. "And I didn't take this assignment by my own will, but you all forced me to do it by constantly begging me. And what I said, even if it's lost, is the truth, whether you accept it or not."
The room went completely silent. For a moment, I almost felt like I had lost myself in the heat of my own words. But there was no turning back. The truth, raw and unapologetic, hung in the air like a storm about to break.
Their eyes—so used to me being quiet, passive, and compliant—now saw a version of me they hadn't expected. Sifra stood still, her smile faltering for a moment. Hugo looked taken aback, his usual mocking expression replaced with something else—maybe uncertainty, maybe annoyance. And Elish, well, her gaze met mine, challenging me, but there was no mocking laughter in her eyes anymore. Just an eerie silence, as if they were trying to process what I had said.
.
Hearing this, perhaps their blood boiled, and they forcibly snatched the assignment from my hands, ripping it apart. The whole class neither supported me nor said anything. The three of them started laughing. "Miss, if this is your decision, then get ready to see our different side."
They ripped my assignment, and everything went silent again.
I heard the teacher's footsteps, and everyone quickly sat back in their places. The focus shifted from me, but what about me? What do I do now? This assignment, I had worked so hard on it. It was crucial for my academics. What am I supposed to do now?
It didn't surprise me much to see them treat me like this after everything I had said, because I remember, whenever I didn't do their work for them, they never spoke to me, even though they knew I was sick.
There was once when I was really ill. I had a high fever, but I had to do work for Sifra and even write music for her. Despite the fever, I did it for her. My head was aching so badly, my body was stiff, and my nose was red. I remembered that Sifra would be upset and wouldn't speak to me if I didn't do it, so I worked for her, hoping I could be a good friend to her. But maybe I made a mistake, and maybe I was never able to become the friend I wanted to be.
I didn't submit my assignment, and once again, I became the target of everyone's eyes. They shifted their attention away from me, but today, the talk was all about me, but no one talk to me about me, but with Elish and Sifra. No one spoke to me, and my day passed in solitude.
Everything was quiet. As soon as the bell rang for break, I started walking towards my home. The road was crowded and full, the sun was directly overhead, and the cool breeze was absent. Crossing that busy road, I walked down a narrow lane, stepping beneath the flower-laden trees, and finally reached the gate of the same house.