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***
«Zatanna has restricted teleportation outside the house, but everything inside should work," John said, "you're in luck buddy, I've been in this shit house once before and I know a couple tricks that will get us out.
John stopped abruptly outside some room, and opened the door.
«Hey, I thought we weren't allowed to open doors.
«Yeah, but we don't have a choice. This one will be the safest.
Will ran into the room, and John followed him in. Then John closed the door, and they were in a dark room that looked like an operating room with white walls. Only this room had one strange feature: everything was upside down. The medical supplies were upside down on the floor, along with the operating table, and it looked very strange.
John hastily pulled crayons out of his pocket and began drawing a pentagram on the floor (or ceiling).
«I didn't expect you to decide to save me. You're not that kind of person...no offense.
«Don't distract me, brat, it's in your best interest that I finish this mess quickly and we get the fuck out of here!
Will frowned and began to look around.
"His words make sense, but it's nerve-wracking. We could be burned at any moment..."
«Hey... John, what's that... thing? - Will pointed upward.
There, as if out of nowhere, water gradually began to appear, which somehow wasn't falling on them yet, but was slowly accumulating on the ceiling.
«It's water.
«I can see it's water! Why isn't it falling?!
«It's an upside-down world, in case you haven't noticed. We're not normal in it.
«Does that mean this place is gonna flood sooner or later?
«I told you not to distract me!
«You said this room was the safest!
John grinned crookedly, covered in sweat, and glanced at Will.
«Trust me, of all the things in the House of Secrets, this fucking room will kill us a little slower.
That's when memories of this amazing and completely off-the-cuff house immediately popped into Will's head.
«Wait, I thought the God of Justice only sent really guilty guys here, you know... like you?
«Yes... but the House of Mysteries itself exists independent of his will, and therefore... Oh, shit. Zatanna's already found us," John gave Will a hinting look, "go and stall her before I finish the ritual.
«Are you kidding me?
«Just a little," he grinned. - Now get out of here, you bastard, I'm busting my ass for both of us.
Will opened the door and ran out into the hallway. He saw Demian, Superboy, and Zatanna there at once, but they were a little wet and battered, probably from their workout with the underwater creature they'd seen in the sea room.
"So we have one Kryptonian, a jerk, and a magical woman who doesn't care about my speed. How do we stop them? It's unlikely Zatanna had time to prepare an illusion beforehand, we can take advantage of that."
Just then, Zatanna threw a magical net forward that stretched across the hallway. Will hastily folded his fingers into a seal, and out of the smoke flash, three clones ran forward. The kage's bunshin technique was on full display as the first clone caught the magical net, falling underneath. The other two clones met up with Superboy and Damian.
The first order of business was to limit Zatanna's actions, or she might do some mischief. Will flew into Superboy, dodging Zatanna's fireballs and knocking out Damian with an elbow. Compared to their past trials, these two no longer seemed like serious opponents. Slipping along the wall to Zatanna, Will reached out to grab her, but she disappeared in the mirage she had left beforehand.
"Well, yeah... should have known," Will's arms suddenly encircled Zatanna's golden strands.
Superboy's blows drove Will into the wall, and Light had to put his hands out in a block. The walls of the house were enchanted with magic and could withstand any blows. Will didn't even have a hope of flying into another room to interrupt the crushing series of blows to his face.
But Zatanna, looking at this, stopped Superboy. She walked over to Will and ran her finger along his swollen lip.
«John won't help you get out of here, I'm giving you one last chance, don't fight it.
«Thank you, of course, but I'd probably say no even to a pretty girl like you," Will said.
«Will! It's time! - John's voice sounded in the distance.
Zatanna pinned Willard to the wall with magic, but he suddenly disappeared, leaving her to flap her eyes in surprise.
«Thunder God Technique... damn John already explained to him the weakness of my magic," Zatanna said.
Superboy flew into the room and found an upside down room filled with water. John and Will were inside, bent over a pentagram. Superboy flew straight into the cold water toward them.
John and Will disappeared into a portal that opened directly below them. Superboy only had to stare, because the water around him had frozen to ice.
When it was over, Zatanna stopped at the entrance to the room and sighed in concentration. A spell snapped from her hands that pulled her troublemaker into the safe corridor, and the frozen figure of Superboy slid across the floor and hit the wall. Zatanna closed the door to the room with a wave of her hand and cut the ice cage with magic, freeing Superboy.
The poor guy fell at her feet and started breathing loudly.
«What do we do now? - Superboy asked, lifting his head guiltily.
«Nothing. If John Constantine managed to slip away, he'd never be caught again. Even a demon cockroach is easier to kill than this sneaky bastard," Zatanna said with a sigh.
***
John Constantine moved into the darkened room, almost falling onto the table. Willard Light jumped out of the portal after him, looking no better than a wet dog.
«Shit, I don't want to be in this fucking house again," John snarled, immediately pulling a pack of cigarettes out of his coat pocket, but it was wet through and through. He clucked unhappily and tossed it into the trash. He turned to Willard, who was looking around like he was on the moon.
«It's cold in here.
«You'd think I'd move you to a five-star hotel.
«Where are we?
John spread his hands. The walls around them were made of stone bricks slightly overgrown with moss, the room itself was narrow and cool, and the sea sounded outside the glassless window. Only a lonely bed with a blanket lying on the floor hinted that someone might have lived here. And a wooden table with a pile of books and scrolls that clearly belonged to a mage.
«It's a lighthouse. My personal sanctuary from demons. Don't touch the candles, damn it, you're not at home.
Will froze a second before he touched the candle. There were painted pentagrams near the candle.
«Are they needed for what I think they are?
«So some powerful demon or sorceress doesn't come after us. I've got enough problems without a couple demons. It's about time we talked," John said, lighting a cigarette.
«I'm not sure that's a good idea. We're in the middle of an operation on Nerose.
«They can do it without you, I've sent a man to help them, he'll buy us time. There's a more important matter at hand.
«Bullshit, I'm heading back right now.
John grabbed Will by the shoulder and turned him around.
«You think Zatanna's just gonna let you walk away again?
«Are you implying that I'll be expected? I know that, but I don't have a choice.
«You seem to have missed something, let me remind you if you didn't hear Zatanna properly. She mentioned the Steppenwolf, you know who that is?
«One of Darkseid's Elite," Will replied.
«More specifically, a thousand year old demonic warlord who has destroyed hundreds of planets.
Though he didn't like the way John was pushing, he had a point. Going back to the possible trap was not a good idea. Apparently Will wasn't the only one trapped, but there was a surprise in store for the Green Arrow squad with Black Canary.
«And he's got his eye on you, which means you're as fucked up as the rest of us. He was responsible for the main assault on Earth, and it was under his command that the main resistance was destroyed. The Amazons, the Atlanteans, the Olympian Gods, and even the Green Lantern Corps - he's had them all whacked like kids, and now all he has to do is crush Atlantis for the finishing touch. But you know what, maybe it's not that bad.
«What are you talking about?
«Recently, rumors have been circulating that Kanto has gone missing, and Zatanna has decided that you are responsible for his disappearance. Apparently, Steppenwolf has taken an interest in you and decided to challenge you through Zatanna, which is both a damn shitty thing to do, but also plays into our hands. I bet Apocalypse switched to you so abruptly because Steppenwolf got bored and found a new target.
Will didn't rebuke John for eavesdropping on their conversation with Zatanna all this time, and nodded. In a way, he understood what he was getting at.
«Do you have a plan to play this out?
«Sort of. Steppenwolf cast his line, and hinted that he knew how to get Bat out, but he'd have to sweat before he did. Steppenwolf is a proud warlord, and he's not going to rest until he's caught up with his prey. As long as he's interested in you, he won't let you go, but it could be a miscalculation for him. If we trap him and get the information out, we might have some chance of winning.
«And if the Steppenwolf falls, Darkseid's army will lose a significant portion of its strength.
«Sounds like a fairy tale," John grinned, putting out another cigarette. - What's more, we can buy Atlantis some time.
«Atlantis is still alive?
«Aquaman has tried to create a tight defense around his city, but it won't last long. They say Steppenwolf left the ocean a couple days ago. Apparently, he got tired of banging on Orin's barrier and is now looking for another way around it.
«Zatanna was trying to change me to her side. You think it has something to do with that?
John grinned.
«Good thinking. From what Zatanna said, she realized a few things: that the Thunder God's mark could somehow bypass barriers, and that your mark could be controlled by magic. But it's unlikely that the Steppenwolf would want to let you live, since he recognized you as a worthy target.
«Even if she can control the mark with magic, I can still move freely in areas free of her magic.
«Wrong. Damn, who taught you to bust your ass when it starts to smell bad? If I'm not mistaken, Zatanna hasn't been able to catch you for a long time, I thought someone like you should be used to dealing with mages by now and realize that there are no limits to magic. If a mage has ever picked up on your weakness, like I'm sure he has, it's just the beginning. You ever heard of curses and demon contracts?
Seeing the doubt in Will's face, John clucked unhappily and decided to change the record.
«Okay, we're in enough shit as it is, I'm not gonna make it worse. I'll just explain that if Zatanna wanted to get rid of you, she wouldn't have made nice with you.
«I guessed, but I didn't underestimate her. She suddenly mentioned Batman and, uh.
John sighed and patted Will on the shoulder.
«Come on, don't I know how women get brainwashed? Especially wizards. Anyway, nice to meet you, Willard Light. We got a lot of work to do now, and if you want to keep us from getting torn apart when we get back to Nerose, you're gonna have to do better than that.
John, thoughtfully running his cigarette-laden fingers over his dry lips, turned back to the table where some plans were piled up and continued:
«Batman is now trapped on the planet Fargus.
«So it's true, he's alive.
«He's alive, but he's having a really bad time. I don't know why he hired me to get you, but I guess it makes sense. We can't get out without him and Superman, and you're connected to Batman.
«So she's both alive.
«Yeah, but Clark's trapped in Darkseid's tower on Apocalypse. He's no easier to get to than Batman, but we might be able to. I'm guessing Batman realized this as soon as he was trapped. Your powers can move targets light-years away in a couple of seconds," John suggested, actually hitting the target.
Will's memories included the battle against Dreigo, when he had moved to the ground and back in one use of the God marker. He nodded.
«Hmmm... we just need to find out where Batman is. But... I can't travel to a place I've never been. Besides, I doubt I can get through the barrier.
«Now, that's something no one knows. Darkseid didn't know about the Thunder God's mark before he came to Earth.
...and therefore no countermeasures were prepared. Batman must have realized this as soon as he was in a desperate situation.
«Argument.
«So we can get Batman and Clark out. That's great news.
«Yes, but only if I was right and understood Batman's intentions. Otherwise, we still have a problem with Steppenwolf and Superman," John said.
«We can free Clark after we defeat Steppenwolf, isn't that the plan?
«One is more interesting than the other. Apocalypse is guarded like a goddamn divine limit, and the only way to get there is through a teleporter that Zatanna won't let me create. I think Steppenwolf knows that, so he's not afraid to throw you a line.
«We don't have a choice anyway," Will said.
«You're right. The other thing that bothers me is why that pompous son of a bitch Darkseid didn't kill Superman. Why didn't he subjugate his mind? - John said, then frowned. - Something about everything that's going on is just so damn weird. So weird that I still can't believe it.
«Another trap or maybe Darkseid is using Clark as a hostage?
«I don't think so. Superman is a symbol of Earth, if I were Darkseid I would take control of Clark and have him fly all over the planet wreaking havoc and destruction. That way people's spirits would be greatly weakened, as they would essentially be killed by their own idol.
And indeed, not only did people love Superman, but they knew how strong he was. An idol who kills you with his own hands-that thought alone was disgusting and frightening. If Darkseid let Clark out to kill people, the last resistance forces would face more despair.
John frowned and exhaled a thick stream of smoke. The situation had been hopeless until now, but at least some glimmers of hope were beginning to appear.
«I have an idea, but let's stop here for now, my head is already buzzing. I've brought you up to speed, now we just need to deal with the last question.
«Can't we put it off till next time? The boys on Nerose are in danger now.
«Take your time, I'm telling you. In case you haven't realized, Darkseid doesn't give a shit about your friends, they would have starved to death sooner or later. Now we are surrounded and our forces are fragmented, even the best plan is doomed to failure, but we still have a trump card we can play. If we can get the other you back in line, we might be able to turn the playing field upside down," John jabbed a finger at Willard's chest, causing him to look puzzled.
Basically, Karen had mentioned the same thing in their conversation, but John seemed to have a plan.
«You make it sound like.
«I know that Trigon's snotty ass sealed "him".
«How do you know?
«The magical world is, you know, a tight-knit one, and gossip isn't transmitted by ordinary lovebirds, but by magical creatures like house spirits, prodigal spirits, and those you'd rather not know about. Some of them even watch you piss.
John patted Will on the shoulder and took another drag on his cigarette, staring off into the distance.
«Oh, and one more thing, before Batman lost contact with the rest of the world, he managed to deliver a message to Dr. Fate. It was just a few words, including your name.
John shoved Will in the chest and flicked the cigarette to the floor. Will suddenly found a large white pentagram under his feet, which John had prepared long before they arrived.
«Hey, what are you doing?
John folded his hands in a seal and his eyes lit up with a golden glint, and then Will's arms and legs were shackled in chains and he screamed painfully throughout the lighthouse.
«Don't yell at me like that, for crying out loud. First you gotta realize, kid, we live in a really shitty world where your head can fly off just because you got caught under the heel of a demon that decided to shit on the ground. It's not fair, but that's life. You want to save your friends, but here's another truth: if we move to Nerose Island now, you'll find a prepared gang of heroes enslaved by Darkseid waiting for you. Zatanna, knowing your weakness to move, has already prepared a spell that will bind your ass to her leg once and for all, and she'll kick you whenever she wants, like playing ping-pong with your balls. And to deal with that, we need something a little more reliable than a couple of handy mobility aids. I'm going to disappoint you, we're not going anywhere until I get the only thing out of you right now that can probably get us out of the kind of shit that Jesus himself wouldn't get out of, if he were alive right now, of course. And yes, welcome to my world, Willard Light.
***
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