The heavy rain outside the window matched the weight Vivian felt inside her chest. It had been days since she last saw Damien, and she could feel the tension between them slowly building. The silence was deafening, and she couldn't shake the thought that something needed to change.
As much as she wanted to move forward, the past always seemed to find a way back into her thoughts. Julian, his smirk, his lies, all the betrayals… they haunted her like ghosts that refused to fade. She couldn't pretend she didn't care about him anymore. It was too ingrained in her, woven into the fabric of her being.
But Damien... Damien was different. She could feel the sincerity in his eyes, the warmth in his touch. He didn't rush her, didn't pressure her. But that didn't mean she wasn't scared. Scared that she would hurt him, scared that she couldn't give him the love he deserved.
As she sat at the kitchen counter, absently stirring her coffee, her phone buzzed on the table. A message. It was from Damien.
Damien: "I miss you, Viv. I hope you're doing okay. We need to talk soon."
The words hit her harder than she expected. She hadn't been avoiding him, per se, but she couldn't bring herself to answer him either. She was caught between wanting to be with him and the walls she had built up around herself for years.
She stared at the message for what felt like hours, her fingers hovering over the screen as if deciding what her next move should be. She was tired of the uncertainty. She had to stop running from her feelings, stop letting her past control her future.
Just then, her phone rang. It was him.
Vivian hesitated before answering, her breath catching in her throat. She had to speak to him. She couldn't keep avoiding the inevitable.
"Vivian," Damien's voice was soft, tentative, as though he feared she might hang up at any moment. "You okay?"
She bit her lip, fighting the flood of emotions threatening to overwhelm her. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just… thinking."
"About?"
She hesitated. It wasn't that she didn't trust him, but sometimes words couldn't convey the storm inside her. "About everything. You. Me. This... whatever we're doing."
Damien was quiet for a moment, and she could practically hear him processing her words on the other end. "We don't have to rush, Viv. I know it's been hard for you, and I get it. But I don't want to lose you over something we can figure out together."
Her heart softened. It was always the way he said things, his calm demeanor in the face of her turmoil. She could feel the warmth of his sincerity through the phone, but at the same time, it made the guilt eat at her even more.
"I don't want to lose you either," she whispered, her voice breaking.
"I know," Damien said gently. "But you have to trust me, Viv. I won't rush you. I'll wait for as long as you need, but I need you to be honest with me. Are you still holding on to Julian? Is he still keeping you from letting me in?"
Vivian closed her eyes, feeling the weight of the question settle on her shoulders like an anchor. Julian was a part of her past—yes, the bitter, painful part—but he was there. How could she just erase him?
"I don't know how to let him go," she admitted softly. "I thought I had, but then I hear his voice, I see him in my dreams, and I feel like I'm still tied to him somehow."
Damien's voice softened, almost as if he understood her pain. "Vivian, you're not obligated to erase him from your life. You can keep your memories, your history, but you need to be able to move forward. Not for me. For you."
His words stung with truth. She wasn't just holding on to Julian for his sake, she was holding on to him for herself. She had never allowed herself the time to heal, never given herself permission to let go.
"I don't know how to move forward," she confessed, her voice trembling. "I'm scared of getting hurt again. I don't want to be vulnerable."
"You don't have to be perfect, Viv," Damien said softly. "I'm not asking for perfection. I'm asking for a chance. I want to be there for you. And I want you to want to be with me."
Her chest tightened with emotion, the weight of the decision pressing down on her. She had to face her fears, confront the part of her that still clung to the past. She had to find a way to trust again, not just Damien but herself.
"I'm scared, Damien," she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. "I'm scared I'll mess things up again."
Damien's voice softened, understanding evident in his tone. "We're not perfect, Viv. We're just two people trying to make something work. And if we fail, we fail together. But I believe in us. I believe in you."
The sincerity in his words was enough to break through the wall she had built around her heart. For the first time in what felt like forever, she allowed herself to feel something other than fear—hope.
"I don't want to keep running from this," she whispered. "I want to try."
Damien's relief was palpable, even through the phone. "You don't know how much that means to me."
Vivian let out a shaky breath, finally feeling like she was taking the first step toward healing—not just for him, but for herself. She wasn't going to let her past define her future. Not anymore.
As the call ended, she sat back in her chair, a sense of clarity washing over her. The uncertainty wasn't gone, but it was fading. The path ahead wasn't easy, but for the first time, Vivian felt like she could walk it—without looking back.