System: [New Mission: Work a Shift at Sweet Hearts Maid Café] Reward: +25 Charisma, Hidden Title: "Moe Lord" Penalty: Banana Peel Slip Event (High Risk of Undergarment Exposure)]
"Let me get this straight," I said, clutching the frilly black-and-white apron with the kind of horror usually reserved for demon summoning. "You want me to wear this? And work where?"
"Sweet Hearts Maid Café!" Cynthia chirped with entirely too much glee.
"And why am I doing this again?"
"Because the student council president got sick, and they needed an emergency substitute for the café's charity event. And because the system said so," Luna replied matter-of-factly.
Akira clapped me on the back. "And because we already told the café owner that you're a part-time crossdressing pro idol from Shibuya."
"WHAT?!"
The maid outfit fit me far too well. The black stockings clung like betrayal, the skirt was dangerously short, and the twin-tails wig… actually didn't look bad. I hated everything.
I stepped into the café—and was greeted by sparkles, giggles, and several gasps.
"Kyaa~! Look at the new maid!"
"Is he—?!"
"That's the famous 'Prince Maid' from Shibuya! I follow his fan account!!"
System: [Disguise Level: 100. You are now known as 'Emilia-chan']
Ethan.exe stopped responding.
The customers were all over me. I served parfaits while dodging accidental boob grabs from female customers (and some suspiciously enthusiastic males), posed for selfies with peace signs, and was even forced to say "Goshujin-sama, your omelet is ready~" in a voice that made my soul leave my body.
But then came the Mini-Mission Roulette.
System: [Spin the Moe Wheel for Bonus Rewards! Next Task: Nyan-Nyan Dance on Countertop]
Kill. Me. Now.
Somewhere between cat ears, marshmallow spoon-feeding, and nearly falling into a customer's lap, I began to accept that this was my life now.
Then she walked in.
Long, silver hair. Piercing blue eyes. Legs for days.
Celia Winters. Ice Queen. Student Council President. System Mission Target #1.
My spoon clattered to the ground.
"...You."
She blinked, then raised a brow. "...Emilia-chan?"
System: [New Emergency Mission: Do Not Break Character] Reward: +10 Survival Instinct Penalty: Celia Will Know. EVERYTHING.]
I dropped to my knees. "O-Ojou-sama! Your parfait awaits!"
To my horror, Celia sat at my table and watched with a gaze so sharp it could slice prosciutto.
She sipped her tea. Slowly.
"You're very… convincing."
"I… practice. A lot. Alone. Don't judge me."
Cynthia and Luna were in the corner dying of laughter. Akira was recording. Nari looked like she was one wrong move away from burning the entire place down.
Then came the Banana Peel.
I took a single step, slipped, and landed in the most anime-ass position possible—legs in the air, skirt flipped, dignity annihilated.
Click. Flash.
Celia smiled. "I have everything I need now."
I had never known true fear until this moment.
Backstage, I collapsed.
System: [Mission Complete! Reward: +25 Charisma, Title Unlocked: Moe Lord] Special Event Unlocked: Maid Battle Royale - Coming Soon]
Me: "Please let me die."
Cynthia: "You did amazing~ Emilia-chan!"
Akira: "Ten out of ten. Academy Award. I ship you with the Ice Queen now."
Nari: "I've already made memes. You're viral on seven forums."
System: [Congratulations, Host! You have reached Peak Embarrassment Level 6! New Skills Unlocked: Blush Resistance, Catwalk Confidence, and Delusional Fan Management]
I wept.