When Samuel regained consciousness he was again in a hospital bed. It was the usual, the intravenous infusions, the fake blue sky on the window, the annoying AI voice.
[Welcome back captain Terrence, the doctor will come in a few minutes]
Like clock work, the doctor came in a few minutes later.
"Captain Terrence, welcome back"
"How long was I out now?"
"Just four days, you are a very lucky man, the reinforcements got to the battle in times to save your life. Also you body is fairly good condition, your passing out was mostly because of the damage to the secondary system of your exoskeleton. A painful experience but not as damaging as your previous network link overload"
"All my team mates died right?"
The doctor took a few seconds to answer.
"I am afraid so, besides you there was no survivors"
"How is my Exo?"
"Totaled, you will have to wait for the army to commission a new machine for you"
"I understand, I still want an executioner variant, maybe my sponsors can chime in for new upgrades"
"About that... I think you don't have a sponsor anymore, things got ugly while you were asleep"
"What are you talking about?"
"Captain, is better if you rest, there are many things that you must take care off in the future, but you just woke up, try to take it easy"
"Cut the crap doctor, I am fine" Samuel tried to get up.
"Wow, take it slow captain, I understand your eagerness, but at least let the nurses take care of your intravenous infusions and some other issues before you start moving around"
Samuel looked at the doctor.
"Fine, but I need to know what is going on"
"You will, don't worry"
Nurses and nurses assistants came and helped Samuel take care of his basic needs, after a bath and being forced to eat something, Samuel was moved around on a wheelchair. The first thing he did as he reached the terminal was call his father and his grandfather.
"I am just glad you are alive son, I was so worried"
"Don't worry dad, I am hard to kill"
"Until the day you run out of luck"
They talked about other mundane things and then Samuel called his Grandfather. The old man looked even worse than him, saying he looked like a corpse was an understatement.
"Hello gramps, how are you doing?"
"I am fine Samuel, I know what has happened and I understand how you must be feeling; I also lost a lot of comrades back at the beginning of the war, I know you feel guilty, but is not your foult"
"I know Gramps, I am fine don't worry. How is Grandma?"
It was obvious Samuel was trying to avoid the subject.
"She is doing fine, a bit sick this days; had to go into surgery for that liver support implant, but she is fine. She is recovering now"
"I see, give her some kisses from my part, I will go visit as soon as I have a few days off"
"Okay. Take care Sam"
"You too Gramps"
The call with his family ended.
"Now, lets see what is going on" Samuel said for himself as he made his next call.
"Hello Mr. Bareck"
"Captain Samuel, I am so glad to see you healthy, you seem to be doing well"
"Cut the crap Bareck, I look like shit, like all the pilots. I already checked the contract, Coca Loca seemed to be in a hurry to get rid of me, what is going on Bareck?"
"Humm. I better show you. This video has been banned and deleted everywhere, only authorized personnel has access to it."
A hologram of a recording started playing.
"Good morning my brothers, may god bless you all" An avatar of a white man said.
"Good morning brothers, Inshallah" another avatar depicting a middle eastern man wearing a thick beard greeted.
"Today we want to show you the truth, the nature of those evil machines, the truth about the enemies of god. The AI tyrants and its rabid dogs have once again killed the innocent and spilled the blood of gods children's. But you don't have to believe me, see for yourself; and for those that try to deny it, any ordinary application will probe that this recordings have not been tempered, what you are about to see is the absolute truth"
The projection changed. Samuel recognized the two machines, the Cut and the Razor were attacking two buildings, few moments later an explosion cut the feed. Bareck looked to Samuel face.
"As you can see, The Order of the faith tricked your team into attacking a building and managed to distribute this for almost all the planet by using the network" Bareck explained.
"They blamed us? How is that possible? Where is the rest of the video? MARTA and other AI monitor the network constantly, How?"
"I am not sure myself, but it seems our enemies managed to block the AI to some degree by using some defects in the peripheral network systems, although my contacts say it has already been patched. Still it took the AI almost two days to ban and suppress that content world wide, still now there are some places were this material is still accessible"
The irritation in Samuel face was evident.
"Does people really believe this bullshit?"
"I am sorry Samuel, but you know how the masses are. The army tried to explain the situation, but conspirators ran with the radicals ideas and... well is a publicity mess, all Exo related merchandising has dropped in sales, we don't..."
Samuel face make it obvious that Bareck worry about the economical aspect of all this made him uncomfortable.
"Anyway captain, we had to cut on some expenses, reduce our publicity... you know, you are fairly new with the company, it was not my decision, mind you"
"I already told you to cut the crap, what else is going on?" asked Samuel.
Bareck sighed.
"Captain, I will give it to you straight. You are not popular, you have become bad luck, every team you join dies. The attacks surrounding you are just so out of the ordinary that people are starting to say you are cursed or something. Most bases don't want to work with you, no one wants you on their team, you have become a toxic asset. The action figures and scale models of your Magnus don't sell at all. People, kids want victorious heroes; You Exo past most of the time half destroyed. The most watched video related to your machine in social media is some guy squashing it with an hydraulic press, the comments say that the toys companies should sell that instead, because your Exo is a pile of scraps most of the time"
Samuel stood there silent.
"I am sorry Samuel, that is how things work"
Samuel laughed.
"What?" asked Bareck.
"Nothing, I just remembered my instructor captain Virna Liss, back in the crow nest. She was right in the end"
"I see... anyway captain; have you thought about retiring? Maybe becoming an instructor? No one would blame you, you almost died twice, maybe this is a sign"
"Good bye Bareck"
Samuel cut off the transmission and went back to his room. Again after looking himself in the mirror he almost ran away, his skin was even thinner than before, making him look like a dried up mummy. Samuel just went back to his bed, the doctor came a few hours later.
"Captain, I am sorry, but you really need to improve your nutritional intake; I recommend you get the PEG procedure done now"
"I know doc. I guess I was just trying to avoid the inevitable. Back when I started my training I swore I would never look like those pilots back at base; drained, zombie like yunkies. Now, look at me, I look worse than them. You know doc, maybe those religious radicals nut jobs ain't so wrong"
The doctor face turned ugly for a second.
"Don't get me wrong; I hate those bastards. But I mean, look at me,;I am full of implants, there is some alien like tissue growing in my brain. I am pumped up with so many drugs they would kill an elephant and lately I feel naked without my Exo. Now I will have to eat through a tube... Am I still human?"
"Yes. You are human. You know it, I know it; asking yourself this things is what makes you human"
The doctor lift up the slave of his lab coat, there was a small bulge under his skin, an implant.
"A few years back, I wanted to know; I had to know, so I got one implant, just one. I am not compatible... I passed out five times during the activation test. I can't even imagine how it feels to have this things all over your body. Fighting in those conditions, pushing through all that and still trying to protect humanity, there is nothing more human than that. Does that answers your question?"
"I guess so, thanks doc"
"Anyway, is common for pilots who went through great trauma to have some existential crisis. I will program a visit from our psychotherapist"
"There is no need" refuted Samuel.
"Is the protocol; don't worry, we have a great specialist"
"I bet you do" said Samuel with a sight.
Next day a female doctor came to see him and ask him several questions. Many of them just made Samuel repeat the same discussion he had with the other doctor the day before.
"I know what is going on. Don't worry doctor, I am not joining the cultist, If I ever get the chance I am gonna squash those psychos under the heels of my Exo"
The woman smiled.
"I know you are telling the truth. But that is not my goal Samuel, I am not here to test you. You have some underlaying trauma from your experiences; losing so many colleagues, seen them die before your eyes with no chance to help is something harsh. On top of it, instead of being hailed as a hero, the civilians give you a bad reputation. It makes you doubt what you are fighting for doesn't it?"
Samuel stood silent. But his face conveyed that the doctor had it all right, even if he didn't want to admit it.
"Maybe you should be retired from active duty for a few months; relink with the more human side of piloting"
"Is the second time I heard that. Have I become a nuisance? Am I so toxic that no base is willing to take me?"
"You are over thinking captain"
"Yeah, sure, now you are not being sincere doc"
There was an uncomfortable silence.
"Anyway, your new exoskeleton is being assembled, you will have to wait for at least two months for it, try to relax and recover"
The session with the psychiatrist ended without much more inconvenience. A few days later Samuel went into surgery.
"Sorry captain, but your body is so used to painkillers and other drugs that trying to make you fall sleep or using other anesthesia is just a waste of time. Is the same with all pilots" the surgeon said as he prepared to do the procedure.
"I know doc, don't worry, do your worst"
Samuel was strapped to the operating table. He tried to fight a bit as the tube went down his throat and to his stomach. The doctor cut through Samuel skin, then inserted a needle into his stomach, and finally introduced the catheter, a few minutes later, the procedure was over. Back in his room Samuel looked at the white plastic tube coming out his belly and sighed. The next day the doctor came to see him.
"Everything went well, this is the basic enteral nutrition we recommend for pilots. Do you need any other information?" The doctor put a bottle over the night table.
Samuel denied without a word. He had already studied everything he needed about the PEG long time ago. A nurse came and showed Samuel how to feed himself using the tube.
"You can also ingest food the natural way if you wish to, we generally encourage pilots to do so"
"How is Hector doing?"
Samuel asked changing the subject.
"No changes"
"Can I see him?"
"We isolated him a while ago"
"I see... thanks doc"
A few days later, Samuel was send home.