What exactly is the meaning of life?
I've thought about this question more than once, but just like a deer can never escape being hunted by a pride of lions, and a ship can never travel upon land...
It seems I've always been pondering questions with no standard answer... or perhaps, no answer at all.
On the train, a young woman with short black hair sat quietly by the window, her head tilted slightly, watching the scenery continuously fade outside. Beside her sat a large, burly man. To claim a sliver of table space, he forcefully squeezed into the gap between the two seats, his hand stuck to the public table like a magnet, forcing the young woman to press herself tightly together, clutching the only valuable thing she owned – her "laptop bag."
She had fled back from the junior college in the Mountain City... or rather, she had dropped out.
Ever since her college application choices were filled out by her father's so-called acquaintance for "some powerful major at some powerful school in the Mountain City," she had been suffocated by anxiety about her major. So today, she dropped out.
For the first time in her life, she had threatened them with her own life. The sight of those people staring in terror as she held a knife to her own neck gave her intense pleasure. She couldn't quite describe the feeling, but after witnessing the "fine customs" of this school, she seemed to have become captivated by such sensations.
Her thoughts drifted further and further away, gradually zoning out.
She took out her phone, her eyes fixed on the only two games on the screen.
Arknights and Honkai: Star Rail.
These two games had accompanied her for a long time. Once upon a time, she had even considered them her entire life. Getting close to the gray-haired one, bickering with the pink-haired one – she had imagined it all.
But now, for some reason, she rarely played them.
With slight hesitation, she tapped on Arknights, entering the long-unseen game interface. Logging in, she heard a familiar and gentle voice calling out the game's name – it was Teacher Xiao Te.
This was her favorite character among all the games she had played, the idol she most wanted to emulate, constantly fantasizing about becoming someone like her. Unfortunately, she didn't have much of a brain, only knowing how to say things like "Now, now, little mouth, don't cry" when others were sad.
And she didn't yet know that, much later, she would become one of the characters in the story.
By the time she entered the game lobby, Teacher Xiao Te was ready with her greeting. Although she had heard this line countless times, it still felt more comforting than the hollow inquiries of some so-called friends in reality.
Even though she knew it was just a program, she was still moved.
"If only you were really here beside me," the girl muttered softly, but unexpectedly, the "Mr. Know-it-all" next to her began to speak.
"A girly girl, playing trashy little games like this all day. No wonder you ran away from that crappy vocational college in broad daylight," his words dripped with disdain and confidence, as if he were some kind of superior being.
The girl just listened, then fell silent. He was right. She was from a crappy vocational college, only knew how to play games all day, and was lost the moment she had to switch majors.
You can use a paintbrush to change parts on an electric tram, right?
The prejudice in people's hearts is a mountain... Forget it, those who know, know.
She just sat there like that. As the black demon gradually devoured the white angel from the horizon, the train slowly came to a stop. Hauling her luggage out of the constantly humming behemoth, the girl exited the station. However, she remained rooted to the spot, motionless like a player lagging out.
Although she kept looking at her phone, it stayed on the home screen.
Who knows how long she stared at that phone's home screen, but eventually, a black and white car slowly drove over. The window rolled down slowly, and the girl clearly saw the letter preceding the license plate number... seemed to be missing?
Hmm... looked like the pull-tab on a Q had been torn off.
"Lil' missy... need a fast ride?" The driver, wearing sunglasses, spoke Mandarin with a slurring indistinctness, as if his mouth were full of anesthetic and suffering from a canker sore, mixed with the chaotic pronunciation and listless, arbitrary tone of a baby learning to talk. He struck a pose he clearly thought was super cool, surely convinced he looked amazing.
"How much?" the girl asked weakly. Although she really wanted to roast the driver's words and actions, she thought she could see the eagerness in his eyes through the sunglasses (don't ask me, I don't know how I saw it either).
"One price, 10 yuan!"
"..."
The two looked at each other without speaking.
"Where does the luggage go?"
"The trunk!" the man suddenly yelled these three words with dramatic, broken emphasis, as if high on something. He then slapped something under the steering wheel, and the car's trunk popped open with a clang.
The girl somewhat clumsily picked up her luggage and placed it in the trunk. The car's rear end suddenly dipped as if it had suffered a heavy blow.
"Lil' missy, your luggage is kinda heavy."
"What's wrong?" The girl looked up, only to find the man already gripping the steering wheel.
"Overweight!" As soon as the words fell, the car engine roared loudly, and the four wheels carried the "multicolored" black car surging forward.
"...." The girl looked at the luggage handle she hadn't yet let go of in her hand, then at the rapidly departing car.
"...."
"Can... disabled people... drive for Didi now...?"
....
So now I'm walking home, carrying a suitcase in one hand, with a bag hanging around my neck, looking exactly like a construction site brick hauler.
Perhaps because I've carried many things before, I can still manage these items.
Home... is still 3km away.
I feel like my nerves are about to snap from exhaustion because I can no longer feel the pain from the strap digging into my neck.
Ah, right.
I forgot to introduce myself to you all. My name is...
"Tian An!"
A call interrupted the girl's whirlwind of thoughts. She broke off her neurotic internal dialogue, turned around, and saw an old woman hurrying over.
"That bastard made you stupid child quit school, wore yerself out, didn't ya?" the old woman spoke in dialect, taking the package from Tian An's neck and slinging Tian An's backpack onto her own back.
"A'po, Dad won't let me see you."
"Who the hell does he think he is, that damn bastard? Come on, let's go to my place," the old woman said dismissively, then pulled Tian An, trying to lead her away.
But Tian An resisted, pulling her hand away again.
"A'po... I don't have a home..." As she uttered this, the old woman instantly fell silent. She looked heartbrokenly at the girl whose head was bowed, yet felt helpless.
"If he hits you again, you tell A'po, okay?"
"A'po, I should get going." Tian An took her luggage back from the old woman, then quickly walked away in the opposite direction.
There was a slight mishap just now, let's get back on topic.
That's right, my name is Tian An. You can call me Xiao Anzi, or you can call me Anleixiya.
At this point, someone might say, "Xiao Anzi, Xiao Anzi, why are you stealing someone else's name?"
And to that, I'd have to reply:
How is this stealing? Maybe I'm just their parallel universe counterpart?
Tian An's mind continued its frantic internal battle. Only at times like these could she completely immerse herself in the world she constructed, free from external disturbances.
But a sudden accident once again shattered the young woman's fantasy.