Went the pen.
The concrete room felt unassuming, but also stifling. There was only one table and two chairs, with no particular decorations on them. Marcus was sorting out some paperwork a few rooms down- although Charlotte wasn't quite sure why she could see him. He was behind multiple walls, and they were all heavily insulated and armored. It was like looking down on a piece of paper, and being able to see one drawing even if the other drawing was behind a line. It was overwhelming- or it should have been- but it felt natural.
Marcus came back with a stack of paperwork, and a couple of pens.
"So- what do you know about gods?"
"Gods are higher dimensional beings- that look for conduits in the form of contracters- through dreams."
"Correct. You possess a 4th or higher grade god."
"What?"
Both Charlotte and Marcus were confused- for opposite reasons.
Charlotte felt different and had powers she didn't have before- she could feel gazes and see through walls, sure. But she had heard the stories of 4th grades. The fourth dimension was that of time, after the three of space. Moving through time as easily as walking across a road is fittingly godlike- but she couldn't do that. She couldn't do anything remotely similar.
Marcus, on the other hand, had met those who were contracted with 4th grades. They seemed kind of like her- aloof, and almost seemed like they knew what you were going to say before you even thought about it. But they all had one thing in common- they knew the details of their contract and powers as soon as they finished the dream.
"Do you know what sort of god you met?"
Charlotte was silent for a bit. Then she said in a tone that betrayed her anger:
"A wrong one."
This was contrary to what most of humanity knew- each god corresponded to something- a few examples are the gods of fusion, electricity, mice, love, clothes, even coffee. They all had one thing in common- we knew them. They made exact sense. Even those that represented concepts humanity didn't quite understand or didn't like weren't wrong, just less understandable. When a person looks at a photo of something they don't recognize, they aren't appalled by it, they just don't know. The only situation he could think of that would explain this would be...
"Did it force you to understand its concept?"
A god could potentially force a human to understand a concept beyond their dimension- therefore making them a higher dimensional creature themselves- but a human can't handle that- they would die. Because of this, nobody had ever reported something like this had happened.
"I did die."
Said Charlotte.
Her eyes were clear- he hadn't noticed till now- they were clear and reflective, with an intricate pattern inside them- like a white diamond. She had the eyes that Marcus's god had in his dream. She was a human, but a god. No- was she human anymore?
"What happened?"
Marcus said- stunned. This was completely unprecedented- as unprecedented as it could get.
"I was molded to become a god. My dream consisted of the thing telling me things I shouldn't understand, letting me die, and reversing myself to do it again. And again. And again. And again."
Charlotte looked at the ground for a while in silence.
"It took nine quintillion, two hundred and twenty three quadrillion, three hundred and seventy two trillion, thirty six billion, eight hundred and fifty four million, seven hundred and seventy five thousand, eight hundred and eight loops to shape my mind into something that can handle all the knowledge I shouldn't know."
It was a number too large in that context. It was a number too large to understand- it was just absurdly big. A thousand loops would feel bigger because it was just too big.
Marcus looked into Charlotte's eyes, and looked away. Eventually, he responded:
"Why? Why did it do that?"
Marcus thought that even for a god, that was too much.
"It loved me, it said."
Charlotte felt sick. Her throat tightened, and her stomach turned.
"Loved you? But... gods know no feelings- no love. Nothing even remotely like that!"
Charlotte said nothing but Marcus knew she was just as aware as he was.
"How are you here, then? Ah, no, I worded that wrong. How did you get out of the dream- you don't seem to have gone into a contract."
Charlotte's hatred was evident, and while the powers of a god were certainly tempting- she was strong enough to have gotten through the dream. Marcus doubted she would accept a contract from the being even if had all the perks in the world.
"Correct. The god died. It killed itself at the end."
Again, everything Marcus knew was shattered. No god had been reported to have died, ever. They were beyond any concept of mortality- especially so in their dream that they created. If any god could die, however, itself would be one thing to do it.
"Why? What made it kill itself?"
"I asked."
Marcus's elbows slipped off the table and he hit himself on the head.