The cold wind swept gently across the terrace, brushing through my hair as I leaned over the stone railing, gazing up at the night sky. The moon was high, full, and bright, casting a soft glow over the castle grounds. Stars were scattered like flecks of silver on a canvas of midnight, their twinkle offering no comfort, only silent judgement.
I didn't know what I was waiting for, or even thinking about exactly. My mind felt like a room full of smoke, unclear, stifling, with thoughts only half-formed before slipping away into the dark. I sighed, long and heavy. It had been weeks—no, months—since I last had those haunting nightmares about the future. One would think that the absence of such dreams should have brought me peace. And yet, I felt even more troubled now.
Why?
Why was my heart so uneasy?
Because despite the nightmares fading, the fear remained.
I had seen glimpses, terrible visions of my deaths, not just cutting of my head but so many different deaths. They were always unclear, but one thing was constant, the overwhelming despair and confusion. The unanswered questions. And worst of all, the pleading.
He was so different. It had me thinking what I did wrong for him to change drastically in the future. I remembered his eyes, they were cold and distant, like I was a stranger. Like I had never belonged.
It never made sense. I grew up in this castle. I had all the traits of royalty. How could he ever doubt me?
"Your eyes alone are not enough to prove your royalty."
That line… his line… echoed in my head like a curse.
I clenched the edge of the railing. "Ugh," I muttered under my breath. "Please, just… let my head rest."
My thoughts would spiral, turning every moment of silence into a war zone in my mind. Every second was a battle against fear, against doubt, against the growing certainty that something was wrong. Deeply, terribly wrong.
To make things worse, my magic—if I could even be called that—was useless. That one time with Theo, it had flared for just a second. A brief, blinding light. A push of energy. A pathetic glimpse of what should have been a gift. Now it just felt like a cruel joke.
I tilted my head toward the stars again and, just then, saw a streak of light shoot across the sky, a shooting start. A rare, beautiful thing.
I scoffed. "Right…"
I had seen so many in my past life. I used to get excited about that and wishing with all my heart. Wishing for happiness. For answers. Or maybe love but none of them came true.
Not even one.
And now, here it was again. A shooting star, arriving just when I was drowning in dread about my unknown death. If anything, it felt like mockery. As if the universe was laughing.
The terrace door creaked open behind me. I stiffened and glanced over my shoulder, only relaxing slightly when I saw Amy standing there. she wore her usual gentle smile.
"Greetings, your highness," she said, her voice soft and warm like the lull of a lullaby. "Shall we go to bed?"
For a moment, I hesitated. Then I turned back toward the railing, my voice quiet and uncertain. "Amy… am I a bad girl?"
The words came out before I could stop them. They sounded childish, naïve, but they were genuine question.
Amy blinked in surprise and stepped forward. "Why would you ask such a thing?" she asked, walking closer until she was beside me.
"I don't know," I murmured. "It is just… I saw a shooting star earlier. And I've heard that only good girls' wishes would come true. Not bad ones."
Amy was quiet for a moment. Then, gently, she crouched down so she was at my eye level, her soft black eyes searching mine. "Your highness," she said tenderly, "you are the kindest princess I've ever met."
I forced a smile. "Hehe… I am just thinking too much, I want my wishes to come true!"
Amy tilted her head slightly, and she chuckles.
"Come now," she said, offering her hand. "The stars will still be here tomorrow. Let us rest for the night."
I nodded slowly and allowed her to lead me inside. Amy helped me out of my coat and settled on my bed, she dimmed the lights and tucked the blanket around me. I turned on my side staring at the window that faced the sky.
"Amy?" I whispered as she made her way to the door.
"Yes, your highness?"
"Please don't ever change, okay?"
She paused, then smiled once more, that same unwavering smile that always made me feel like I wasn't alone.
"of course," she replied softly. "I won't ever change."
With that, she slipped out, closing the door gently behind her.
And I was left in the darkness, alone with my thoughts again.
The sunlight filtered through the grand windows of the emperor's office, casting long streaks of gold across the marble floor. It was morning, and I found myself perched comfortably on a cushioned chair in front of the emperor's desk, swinging my legs while savoring a thick slice of strawberry cake. The sweet scent of fresh strawberries and cream filled the room, mixing cold well with the scent of parchment, ink, and faint cologne the emperor always wore, cold and crips, like pine trees in the winter.
I was too focused of the possible futures to notice the emperor staring at me until I head his deep voice cut through the silence.
"How was it?"
I blinked and looked up, meeting his gaze. He sat in his usual spot, elbow on the desk and his chin resting on his gloved hand. His face was unreadable, blank as always, as if carved from stone. His cold blue eyes watched me closely, though I could never tell what he was thinking.
Sometimes, I genuinely wondered if he and Theo were related. Always emotionless. Always distant. Their expressions never changed, whether they were amused, irritated, or even proud. It drove me crazy. I could never tell. It messed with my head so much, I often found myself overthinking everything I said around them.
I tried my best smile and gave a cheerful answer in my high, childish voice. "It is Yummy! I like it very much!"
The emperor nodded once, slow and measured. "Good," he said. "Just tell the butler if you need more. He'll brings it to you in no time."
I turned towards the door where the butler stood patiently. His posture was perfectly straight, but there was I gentleness to him that made me feel safe.
"Nice to meet you, mister butler!" I chirped, waving my fork slightly.
He chuckled softly, bowing his head slightly. "It is nice to meet the princess more. But please, you may simply call me Henri."
Just then, a knock sounded on the heavy wooden door. Before anyone could respond, the door opened slowly, revealing the prince who walked in with his usual straight-backed posture, his steps quiet and controlled. His long white hair was tied neatly behind him, and his cloak fluttered slightly as he moved into the room.
He glanced briefly at me and offered me a smile, before turning his attention to the emperor.
"Father," the prince began, his voice calm but confident, "I was thinking... I need to visit the city today to take care of a few matters. If it's permitted, I would like to bring Lyunette with me. it would be a good opportunity for us to spend some time together afterwards."
My fork froze mid-air. My eyes widened. My heart skipped.
The city?!
I nearly dropped the fork I am holding in excitement. My eyes sparkled as I turned to the prince with a hopeful gasp.
I had never been to the city before, not really. I'd seen glimpses of it from the windows of carriages or the upper balconies of the castle, but I'd never stepped foot into its cobbled streets. I'd only heard stories, of pastry shops with glittering sweets in glass windows, of flowers carts on every corner, of street musicians playing soft, lovely tunes, of bookstores, candy stalls, shiny trinkets, and people, so many people!!
The thought made my head spin.
I wanted to go.
The emperor remained quiet for a moment. The prince stood still, waiting patiently, showing no sign of urgency. As usual, they looked like two statues carved from the same cold stone, communicating through silence.
"You know it's dangerous for her to go out yet," the emperor's voice cut through the moment like the edge of a blade calm, deep and final, the kind of voice that left no room for argument.
The joyful spark in my chest instantly dimmed, like someone had blown out a cancel inside me.
I froze, turning toward him with wide eyes. He had not even looked up from the scroll he was reading, but the firmness in his voice was enough to tell me he was serious. My shoulders slumped, and my lips began to tremble just slightly.
But I wasn't giving up that easily.
I hurried over to his side, my shoes softly tapping against the marble floor. Once I reached him, I tugged gently on the wife sleeve of his cloak and looked up at him with my biggest, most pleading eyes. I had to go out no matter what. And maybe this will be the only chance I can go to the city.
"Please, papa… can I go?" I asked, my voice soft and sweet as honey, the words trembling with desperate hope. "I promise I will be good… I really, really want to see the city!"
He finally looked at me.
His crystal eyes stared down into mine, calm and unreadable, like a sea frozen in the dead of winter. For a moment, I thought he would refuse again. The silence between us stretched on, long enough for me to hear my heartbeat drumming in my ears.
But then… he sighed.
The sound was quiet but heavy, like it carried the weight of the world.
"Fine," he said at last. "But you must bring at least four guards."
A gasp escaped me before I could stop it. My eyes lit up with pure delight, and I jumped up, nearly squealing. "Yay!! Papa is the best!!"
Before he could change his mind, I dashed across the room, nearly slipping on the polished floors, and ran straight to the prince. My tiny hand reached for his, and without hesitation, he took it, warm, steady, and secure.
"Isn't that good news for you, my dear sister?" the prince asked, his tone gentle.
I nodded furiously. "Yes!! Very good news! I cannot wait to see the city!"
His grip on my hand tightened ever so slightly, and I leaned into his side like a duckling following its older sibling. I felt a little happy, as I let the fears melted away, if only for a moment.
Henri, still by the door, bowed slightly. "I will have the guards and carriage prepared immediately, your Highnesses."
The prince gave a small nod. "We'll dress for travel."
The emperor gave us one final look, a long, lingering stare that I could not quite read. Was it concern? Worry? Or simply annoyance?
"You are not to take her beyond the eastern district, "he told the prince, his voice low but firm. "And if anything happens—"
"I'll take full responsibility," the prince said before the emperor could finish.
Their eyes locked for a brief moment, and something unspoken passed between them. Then the emperor looked away, motioning us to go with a simple wave of his hand.
As the prince and I walked through the halls towards our own rooms to prepare. I could not stop smiling. This is a good opportunity to familiarize the places outside for my future escape.
"Do you think there will be music in the streets?" I asked, skipping beside him.
"Most likely," he said with a soft chuckle.
"What about caramel apples? And Cinnamon rolls?"
"we'll find them." I felt him pat my head gently.
I think I am doing great in acting, if I continue to act more, I might actually be able to survive.