(INT. HSE LIMITED – WAR ROOM – CURRENT CRISIS MEETING (A.K.A. THE MESSY CONFERENCE TABLE))
Bai Luqi (the Shy Girl / Design Lead), Hang Mu (the Gamer Boy / QA Goblin), and Lu Yan (the Back-End Dev / Code Whisperer) huddled around a table that had been partially cleared of food debris (a minor miracle) to accommodate a hastily drawn sketch of the Lu Mansion, rendered on the back of a large, greasy pizza box.
Lu Yan (pushing up his perpetually smudged glasses, squinting at the crude map):
"Analysis: Two confirmed points of entry. Main gate, heavily guarded and likely booby-trapped. The back servant's entrance... slightly less booby-trapped, but still concerning."
Hang Mu (a manic grin spreading across his face, eyes gleaming with strategic fervor):
"Excellent! Classic 'Split and Sneak' tactic! Distraction team hits the main gate with full force. Infiltration team slips in through the rear. I perfected this in Ghost Ops 7: Stealth Assassin Accountant."
Bai Luqi (voice barely a whisper, clutching her bear keychain for emotional support):
"But... isn't this technically... breaking and entering? Trespassing? Potentially a felony?"
A roar, a united cry, erupted from the collective twenty student interns crammed into the room.
All 20 Students:
"FOR THE CEO! FOR JUSTICE! AND FOR POTENTIAL UNPAID INTERN WAGES!"
The flimsy table trembled slightly under the weight of their collective passion – the pure, unadulterated energy of broke college students sensing the faint, alluring aroma of their first paycheck (and maybe escaping their predatory landlord).
(INT. HSE LIMITED – MINI-KITCHEN (REPURPOSED AS A TACTICAL SUPPLY DEPOT))
The entire 'squad,' fueled by caffeine and sheer audacity, moved in a surprisingly coordinated manner (considering their usual levels of chaos) towards the ancient, perpetually groaning office refrigerator. Lu Yan, with a dramatic flourish that would have been impressive if his lab coat wasn't slightly stained with instant ramen, wrestled open the door. A blast of frigid air rushed out, momentarily fogging his glasses.
Hang Mu (whispering with awe, a fanatical gleam in his eyes):
"Legends speak of a hidden cache... a relic of a bygone era... If there are precisely twenty ice creams in there... it is a sign. Divine intervention. We are destined for victory."
Bai Luqi cautiously peeked inside. The ancient refrigerator glowed with a faint, ethereal light. Nestled within its frosty depths, miraculously untouched by time or questionable office hygiene... lay exactly twenty ice creams. A kaleidoscope of flavors. An undisturbed treasure.
A collective gasp swept through the interns. Hang Mu, overcome with religious fervor, dropped to one knee.
"The prophecy... it has been fulfilled!"
Lu Yan:
"Operation: Frozen Retribution is a go. We shall unleash the icy fury."
(A hastily drawn PLAN SUMMARY, scrawled in marker on the office whiteboard, barely visible beneath a collage of motivational cat posters):
OPERATION NAME: "CEO EXTRACTION: Operation Cold Justice"
MISSION OBJECTIVE: Retrieve the Kidnapped CEO Su Yu from the Evil Ice Queen (A.K.A. the Lu Mansion)
PHASE ONE: "Distraction Maneuvers"
* Deploy Ice Cream Assault Team (15 Interns): Utilize repurposed super soakers and a truckload of frozen treats for a targeted, yet messy, assault on the main gate.
PHASE TWO: "Stealthy Sneak Attack"
* Infiltration Team (Lu Yan + 4 elite infiltrators): Exploit the chaos at the front to slip through the relatively unguarded back servant's entrance.
* Acquire Lu Mansion blueprints via questionable backchannel methods.
* Navigate the labyrinthine corridors with maximum stealth (and minimal collateral damage to priceless vases).
PHASE THREE: "CEO Recovery"
* Locate the abducted Su Yu using covert tracking methods (Hang Mu's gaming instincts).
* Extract Su Yu from his captor's clutches with minimal resistance. (Or maximum resistance, if he's into that).
PHASE FOUR: "Escape and Tactical Retreat"
* Secure a getaway vehicle (Hang Mu's cousin's cousin's beat-up van, christened "The Millennium Falcon 2.0").
* Execute a swift and clean exit, leaving the mansion a trail of bewildered guards and lingering sweetness.
BONUS MISSIONS: (If feasible)
* Retrieve CEO's laptop: Contains vital company secrets, possibly compromising selfie data, and several levels of an unfinished, yet emotionally devastating, dating sim.
* Raid the mansion's refrigerator: High-priority acquisition of any and all gourmet desserts. Company morale is at stake.
(SCENE: OUTSIDE THE LU MANSION MAIN GATE – FROZEN CHAOS)
A sleepy security guard yawned, the monotony of his shift broken only by the chirping of crickets. Then, out of the darkness...
SPLAT!
An ice cream cone, a celestial projectile from the depths of the office refrigerator, impacted his face with the force of divine retribution from the dessert gods.
Security Guard (spluttering, eyes wide with frosty bewilderment):
"What in the—?!"
Before he could react, a horde of students - those enigmatic figures who seemingly existed outside of class hours - erupted from the bushes, screaming war cries. Their weaponry of choice? Super soakers, loaded not with water, but with semi-liquified, rainbow-colored ice cream.
Mob of Interns:
"RELEASE OUR CEO! RETURN THE ICE KING TO HIS RIGHTFUL THRONE! YOU WILL FACE THE WRATH OF FROZEN JUSTICE!"
Pandemonium ensued. Security guards slipped and slid on the rapidly melting projectiles, their crisp uniforms becoming abstract art. In the midst of the chaotic battle, a group of interns, those stylish few who never missed a K-pop concert, struck elaborate poses, chanting their ridiculously awesome (and completely fabricated) debut group name: "FrostBite-21!"
(PHASE TWO: INFILTRATION - ENTER THE SHADOWS)
While the main gate descended into sticky, ice-cream-fueled anarchy, Lu Yan and his handpicked elite team (including one intern who repeatedly tripped over flowerpots) stealthily infiltrated the back servant's entrance. They arrived at a high-tech, sliding security door, gleaming menacingly.
Lu Yan:
"Alright, comrades. Brace yourselves. Password required... and it's probably ten digits long, encrypted with military-grade technology. In short, this isn't gonna be pretty."
He sighed, then with the resigned air of a coder facing a particularly nasty bug, dialed a number on his phone. A sultry, slightly bored voice answered.
Voice:
"Password-Cracking Hotline. This is Su Manman, self-proclaimed future final boss waifu, expert hacker, and connoisseur of fine ramen. State your credentials, you insignificant mortal."
Lu Yan:
"Manman-jie, it's me, Lu Yan. We need an urgent bypass on a ten-digit vault security code, military-grade encryption, Lu Mansion systems. Su Yu-ge is trapped inside."
Su Manman (yawning audibly):
"Tch. You better be making progress on my custom game build. I want Hu Hang as the final boss, a dramatic backstory involving star-crossed lovers and a betrayal arc fueled by familial rivalry, and a tragic violin soundtrack. And I want it by Tuesday."
Lu Yan:
"Yes, yes, of course. We're even working on his ultimate move... 'Brother Complex Slash.' Just... just crack the code, please."
Su Manman (a smug smirk evident in her voice):
"Hmph. Say less, coding slave."
The sounds of furious typing filled the air. Thirty agonizing seconds later...
Su Manman:
"Done. Code is: 10261997. Easy peasy. Tell that idiot Su Yu he still owes me three limited-edition anime figures."
The security door hissed open.
(INT. THE DARK, OMINOUS CORRIDORS OF THE LU MANSION – CREEPING THROUGH THE ELITE)
The infiltration team, navigating the labyrinthine corridors with varying degrees of success (one intern still repeatedly tripping over strategically placed Ming dynasty vases), crept through the mansion. They were now officially inside enemy territory.
(INT. LU MANSION - GRAND LIVING ROOM - NIGHT)
Moonlight bathed the elegantly appointed living room in a soft glow. Amidst the opulent surroundings, the camera slowly panned towards the central figure: our male protagonist, Su Yu (a.k.a. the amnesiac "Mr. Lu Siyan"), sleeping soundly on a plush velvet sofa, blissfully unaware of the rescue operation currently underway.
Su Yu (muttering in his sleep, a testament to his ingrained workaholism):
"Boss... you have my word... I will exceed all expectations... even with two broken legs, I can still deliver the Q3 projections, Boss… See? I really am worth your strategic investment… I… I can even secure the A-list celebrity endorsement with two broken legs and a PowerPoint presentation…"
Just then, Linling materialized from the shadows at the edge of the moonlit room. She moved with the silent grace of a panther, her silk robe whispering against the opulent carpet. Her expression, usually a mask of icy disdain or calculated charm, was unreadable in the pale light as she stopped beside the sofa, observing the sleeping form of her nominal husband. Was that… pity? Frustration? Or just calculation flickering in her sharp eyes?
Linling (voice a barely audible murmur, soft and strangely vulnerable):
"You infuriating block of ice... If you weren't the key to stabilizing my family's finances, my living money bank... I would have arranged a little 'accident' for you months ago… But because of your very existence, no matter what truths I speak… he will never fully believe my heart belongs only to him…" She reached out a hand, hesitating for a moment as if to touch his face, before snatching it back as if burned.
(INT. SECRET CORNER – HACKER'S PERSPECTIVE)
From behind a ridiculously large potted bonsai tree, Lu Yan crouched low, his face illuminated by the eerie green glow of his phone screen, which he held up like a documentarian capturing rare footage of a mythical beast. His hacker mask, inexplicably shaped like a cute cartoon bunny, reflected the unfolding scene.
Lu Yan (whispering excitedly into his sleeve communicator):
"Gold! Absolute narrative gold! Scene 47: The Ice Queen's Moment of Unexpected Vulnerability! Witness the internal conflict as she gazes upon the oblivious, idiot protagonist she's contractually bound to! This is prime material for the 'Tragic CEO Romance' DLC... We'll charge extra for the heartbreak ending. Millions of lonely nerds will weep into their keyboards!"
(INT. KITCHEN ENTRANCE – THE REFRIGERATOR RAIDERS RETURN)
Suddenly, the hushed atmosphere was shattered. The other four members of the infiltration team stumbled back into the living room, moving with the stealth of startled elephants. They were triumphantly carrying a mini-fridge between them like pallbearers hoisting a particularly delicious coffin.
Hang Mu (whispering dramatically, eyes wide with culinary ecstasy):
"Comrades! The legends were true! Behold! Strawberry panna cotta... Belgian chocolate lava cakes... There's even... artisanal cheese!"
Their triumphant return quickly shifted focus as they spotted the sleeping Su Yu and the nearby, now-alert Linling.
K-pop Styled Student 1 (eyes darting nervously towards Linling):
"Wait… wasn't the scary rich ice queen lady supposed to be… elsewhere?"
K-pop Styled Student 2 (ignoring the potential danger):
"Who cares about her! Mission objective! Wake up our glorious CEO!"
(INT. LIVING ROOM – A CHAOTIC AWAKENING)
Ignoring Linling's sudden, sharp glare, the students rushed forward and began shaking Su Yu with urgent enthusiasm. His eyes snapped open, instantly alight not with confusion, but with the glowing paranoia of someone perpetually expecting a hostile takeover or a surprise performance review.
Su Yu (bolting upright, shouting defensively):
"WHO DARES DISTURB MY STRATEGIC REST?! I AM ARMED WITH KNOWLEDGE OF ADVANCED OFFICE POLITICS AND FORTIFIED BY LETHAL DOSES OF CAFFEINE! COME AT ME, CORPORATE NINJAS!"
Then his gaze focused, taking in Lu Yan's glowing bunny hacker mask and the familiar faces of his interns. He visibly deflated, relief washing over him, quickly followed by misplaced paternal pride.
Su Yu (eyes misting slightly):
"Ah… my precious, white-eyed juniors... My loyal Hounds of HSE... You risked life and limb... You truly came for me… I… sniff… I didn't exploit your youthful energy and desperation for nothing…"
He abruptly scrambled to his feet, striking a dramatic pose.
Su Yu:
"But there is no time for tearful reunions! Our mission is incomplete! We cannot leave yet—I must rescue my Boss from the clutches of that suspicious elderly board member and his... his overly affectionate husband!"
(INT. MASTER BEDROOM CORRIDOR – OPERATION: EXTRACT THE BOSS)
Before anyone could question his logic (or his sanity), Su Yu stormed towards the master bedroom wing, the interns scrambling to keep up. He reached the imposing, password-locked door. After a moment of intense concentration, muttering something about "default admin passwords," he somehow bypassed the lock (or perhaps Lu Yan discreetly fed him the code via earpiece). He shoved the door open, only to find...
His father, the distinguished Lu Zhenhai, curled up in the massive bed like a giant octopus, clinging tightly to the sleeping form of his wife, Madam Yunqiao. Zhenhai was mumbling incoherently in his sleep:
Lu Zhenhai (half-asleep):
"Yunqiao, my love… don't leave… I swear the tech stock portfolio will bounce back... just… just five more minutes of cuddling…"
Su Yu stared at the scene, his face contorting in disgust.
"...Gross. Utterly unprofessional."
With the determination of a man rescuing vital company assets, he forcefully began untangling his father's limbs from his mother's form, peeling him off like unwrapping a particularly stubborn burrito. Ignoring his father's sleepy protests, he then scooped up his still-sleeping mother into his arms and dashed out of the room with the speed and finesse of a seasoned wild goose thief making off with the prize bird.
(EXT. LU MANSION – THE GARDEN ESCAPE – NIGHT)
Moonlight illuminated a scene of pure, unadulterated chaos unfolding across the meticulously manicured lawns of the Lu estate:
* Lu Yan, bunny mask askew, held open a side gate, frantically waving the escape team through while monitoring security feeds on his tablet.
* Hang Mu and another intern were wrestling the purloined mini-fridge into the back of the waiting getaway van ("The Millennium Falcon 2.0"), treating it with more reverence than the Crown Jewels.
* The four K-pop-styled students, having fulfilled their infiltration duties, struck dramatic, synchronized anime poses near a fountain, presumably for moral support or a future music video.
* And Su Yu, carrying his now-awakening mother slung over his shoulder like a sack of particularly valuable potatoes, sprinted across the dew-kissed grass towards the van, embodying the spirit of a rogue hero escaping with his damsel (who happened to be his bewildered mother/boss).
Su Yu's Mother (Yunqiao) (waking up, squirming indignantly):
"Siyan! Put me down this instant! What is the meaning of this?! Have you lost your mind?! Have you no shame?!"
Su Yu (panting dramatically, not breaking stride):
"Apologies, Boss!! Emergency extraction protocols engaged! I must protect the company's most valuable asset—your visionary leadership! And also, possibly, prevent you from being hugged to death by that overly clingy elderly gentleman!"
(EXT. OUTSKIRTS – REMOTE FOREST CLEARING – DAWN)
As the first rays of dawn pierced through the lingering fog, a rusty, unassuming truck rolled to a stop in a quiet clearing deep within a forest on the city's outskirts. The air was cool and smelled of pine needles and damp earth. The assembled student employees of HSE Limited, a motley crew dressed in various states of disarray (some still in pajamas, others in impromptu cosplay, all clutching snacks or laptops), waited with bated breath.
The back door of the truck creaked open with the dramatic flair of a low-budget spy movie reveal. Out leaped Su Yu, still carrying his profoundly confused mother over his shoulder, striking a heroic pose against the sunrise.
(EXT. FOREST CLEARING – THE BIZARRE "RESCUE" RECEPTION)
Su Yu (carefully setting Madam Yunqiao down, then kneeling before her with utmost reverence):
"Boss… We accomplished the mission! Through teamwork, audacity, and questionable hacking skills, we have successfully rescued you from the clutches of… of corporate stagnation… yes, that's it! And possibly from overly affectionate elderly gentlemen!"
The assembled students erupted into ragged, chaotic applause, cheering like devoted cultists welcoming their newly liberated deity.
Hang Mu (eyes suspiciously teary, possibly from lack of sleep):
"Welcome back, Supreme Boss Lady! HSE Limited rejoices!"
Bai Luqi (nervously offering a slightly melted ice cream bar):
"We… we saved some celebratory ice cream for you, Ma'am... Boss..."
Su Yu (hands raised beseechingly):
"Oh, esteemed Boss! Please… witness the sincerity in our sleep-deprived eyes! Believe in the boundless potential of our dream! Believe in HSE Limited! We offer you nothing but raw ambition, a mountain of unpaid electricity bills, server code held together by hope, and the unwavering loyalty of these underpaid… uh… highly motivated individuals! Please… invest in our glorious future!"
(INT. MADAM YUNQIAO'S MIND – "DELUSIONAL BOSS MODE: INITIATED")
Madam Yunqiao stared, utterly bewildered, at her kneeling son (who thought she was his boss) and his ragtag army of chaotic, yet strangely earnest, college employees presenting her with melted ice cream in a foggy forest clearing at dawn. This was, objectively, the strangest Tuesday morning of her life. Yet… amidst the sheer absurdity, a tiny, unexpected spark ignited within her. A flicker of amusement? Intrigue? Or perhaps just the dawning realization that this chaotic energy was… strangely exciting?
She instinctively adjusted the shawl Su Yu had presumably draped over her during the escape, straightened her posture with the innate authority she usually reserved for boardrooms, and allowed a cool, enigmatic smile to grace her lips.
(EXT. FOREST CLEARING – THE UNEXPECTED POWER MOVE)
Su Yu's Mother (Yunqiao) (adopting a tone of cool command):
"Very well. If I am indeed your 'Boss'… then my terms are simple. I require a sixty percent controlling share in this… 'HSE Limited'."
A sudden, shocked silence fell over the clearing. Even the student currently attempting to eat pudding straight from the mini-fridge paused mid-chew.
Su Yu (without a moment's hesitation, eyes shining with devotion):
"Naturally, Boss! Your wisdom is unparalleled! You can have one hundred percent if you wish! We only ask that you don't extinguish the flames of our collective dream… and perhaps provide funding for better coffee."
Bai Luqi sniffled audibly in the background, overcome by the sheer passion (or possibly the absurdity) of the moment.
Su Yu's Mother (Yunqiao) (raising a perfectly sculpted eyebrow):
"Sixty percent will suffice. The remaining forty… earn it. Prove to me this chaotic venture holds substance beyond caffeine-fueled delusions."
Lu Yan (whispering to Hang Mu):
"Damn… she drives a harder bargain than Chief Su ever did… Maybe she should be the boss..."
Su Yu (beaming, practically radiating sunshine):
"Consider it done, Boss! Your faith inspires us! With your guidance, let us officially commence Phase Two of HSE's glorious domination of the global entertainment sphere! To victory!"
Students (catching the infectious, if insane, enthusiasm, pumping fists in the air):
"YES, BOSS! HSE! HSE! HSE!"
The truck doors slammed shut again. The students piled back in, jostling for space alongside the precious mini-fridge, their laptops, and their newly acquired, extremely confused, but undeniably powerful backer – their official "Boss." The scene faded as the rusty truck rumbled out of the clearing and drove off into the sunrise, the faint sound of students chanting their company name echoing through the trees like a particularly strange, startup-themed cult.
(INT. HSE LIMITED – LATER THAT MORNING – "THE QUEEN HAS ARRIVED")
The battered elevator on the second floor groaned open with a sound like tortured metal. Out stepped Madam Yunqiao – now reluctantly embracing her role as the de facto "Boss" of HSE Limited – still clad in the slightly rumpled floral housecoat she'd been wearing when abducted, her expression a masterpiece of regal confusion. Instantly, the twenty student interns scrambled into two lines, forming a makeshift honor guard, standing awkwardly at attention holding chipped mugs, overheating laptops, and, in one case, a half-eaten bag of cold fries.
Su Yu glided beside her, arms outstretched in a grand welcoming gesture, radiating the sycophantic devotion of a court eunuch introducing the Empress, complete with imaginary sparkles glittering in his eyes.
(INT. HSE OFFICE FLOOR – THE GRAND (AND GRIMY) TOUR)
Su Yu (voice filled with dramatic reverence):
"Esteemed Boss… behold your dominion! Your empire of innovation! Welcome to the hallowed halls of HSE Limited! This is where genius is forged, where caffeine addiction is a prerequisite, and where dreams are coded into reality between the hours of 3 AM and sunrise!"
Madam Yunqiao surveyed the scene with visible, polite bewilderment. Exposed wires snaked across the ceiling like metallic vines. A large, colourful K-pop poster was strategically placed to conceal a significant hole in the plaster wall. At one workstation, an intern diligently debugged code on one monitor while simultaneously watching compilation videos of cats falling off things on another.
Su Yu (oblivious, continuing his rainbow-farting commentary):
"This central area? Your Strategic Vision Nerve Center—where groundbreaking ideas spontaneously combust into revolutionary products! That sputtering water purifier over there? Not merely a machine, Boss, but a vital monument to adequate hydration under the oppressive yoke of late-stage capitalism! And that fellow huddled beneath the blanket fort?" He gestured towards Lu Yan. "Our Chief Technical Architect, kept alive solely by a diet of instant ramen, sheer willpower, and the radiant inspiration emanating from your noble presence!"
Lu Yan (poking his head out from under a blanket draped over two chairs):
"Wait, she's officially our boss now? Should I implement the recursive debugging algorithm she mentioned to me in that vaguely threatening dream I had last night?"
Su Yu:
"Nonsense! Our Boss transcends mere code! Her aura alone optimizes server performance! When she walks through the office, algorithms untangle themselves, and bugs commit ritual suicide out of sheer respect!"
Mother (Yunqiao) (turning to Su Yu, her expression politely questioning):
"...Siyan... dear... What exactly is it that you and these... enthusiastic young people... do here?"
(INT. THE "EXECUTIVE MEETING ROOM" (A.K.A. A REPURPOSED STORAGE CLOSET WITH A SINGLE FLICKERING BULB))
Su Yu slammed open the door to the cramped storage closet with immense pride. Inside, the core team of interns stood rigidly at attention, holding slightly damp PowerPoint printouts. A string of cheap, randomly blinking LED lights had been taped to the ceiling to provide 'executive ambience.'
Bai Luqi (reading nervously from a printout):
"Supreme Boss Madam Yunqiao, welcome to the HSE Limited Quarter 1 meeting... concerning our ongoing strategy of... organizational survival."
Hang Mu (solemnly handing Madam Yunqiao a chipped mug):
"Freshly brewed ginger tea, Boss. Fortified with anti-shock herbs and... hope."
Su Yu (clicking to the next slide, which featured a badly drawn graph ascending towards infinity):
"As you can see, Boss, HSE is currently pioneering the development of a revolutionary next-generation game engine! Featuring unparalleled open-world simulation, real-time dynamic narrative generation based on player anxiety levels, and a highly anticipated secret DLC expansion where the ultimate final boss is... my estranged father."
Su Yu's Mother (Yunqiao) (eyebrow raised slightly):
"My husband? Why?"
Lu Yan (popping up again):
"Primarily for cathartic revenge narratives, Boss. Also, it serves as an excellent stress test for our new proprietary emotional-AI interface. Initial results indicate extreme player frustration, which we interpret as high engagement."
(INT. BACK ON THE OFFICE FLOOR – A QUIET OBSERVATION)
Later, Madam Yunqiao walked slowly through the main office area, observing the controlled chaos. Students furiously typed, debated design choices over stale snacks, or pretended to look busy whenever she glanced their way. Some were genuinely working, fueled by a bizarre mix of fear, loyalty, and desperation. Others were clearly just hoping she wouldn't ask any difficult questions about profit margins or workplace safety regulations. Su Yu followed a step behind, still radiating adoration.
Su Yu (whispering conspiratorially):
"Boss, your commanding silence speaks volumes! It's more profound than a decade of those tedious corporate TedTalks! You lead not with words, but with the sheer gravitational pull of your soul!"
Su Yu's Mother (Yunqiao) (deadpan, without turning):
"Siyan, I genuinely do not know how to open a spreadsheet program."
Su Yu (beaming as if she'd just revealed the secret to eternal life):
"Exactly! You have transcended the need for mundane tools like Excel! You don't use Excel, Boss... you excel at existence itself!"
(ENDING SCENE – A NEW BEGINNING (OR A NEW LEVEL OF MADNESS))
She finally settled into the designated CEO chair – a worn-out office chair reinforced with duct tape and hope – staring blankly at a single post-it note stuck crookedly to the dusty monitor. It simply read: "BELIEVE." The assembled interns watched her with the eager anticipation of puppies awaiting a treat.
Madam Yunqiao let out a long, slow sigh. A faint, almost imperceptible smile touched her lips – perhaps amusement, perhaps resignation, perhaps the first glimmer of a cunning plan forming in her own mind. She cleared her throat, her voice suddenly taking on a semblance of command, albeit tinged with utter bewilderment.
Su Yu's Mother (Yunqiao) (adopting a mock-authoritative tone):
"Alright then... employees of HSE Limited. Let's attempt to make this charming little vortex of madness... profitable."
A beat of stunned silence, then—eruption! The students cheered wildly. Someone deployed a hidden cache of confetti (its origin remains a mystery). The reign of the Accidental CEO Boss had officially begun.