Gnomes in the basement, a troll in the garden, a family of goblins in the east wing.
A ghost was hunting a compost pile.
I had to do the quests!
That still didn't solve my problem of having no beans… I had to go shopping, but I didn't have any money. The rain had been a downpour. No one would let me do chores in their garden.
And, to make matters worse, no magic was allowed in the house! So, I couldn't even clean it fast enough!
I decided to investigate the ghost's compost pile…
Sure, stealing from the dead brought problems, but that didn't mean it wasn't to be done. The adventurers did it all the time.
Adventurers…
I would have loved to join their rank, but they don't let any cursed people in their guild. Oh, why did I even bother learning Fast Heal?
I looked at the smelly pile of leaves, cow dung, and worms. My bottom lip found a new home between my teeth.
I knelt next to it, my hands in dragonhide gloves. Something all witches got as a graduation present. Something that we weren't allowed to sell anyway.
"Ok, now," I told myself, digging a hand inside the mess. "Time to get some treasure!"
"How rude," the ghost commented next to me. I think it might have been a pretty woman, once. One who surely had ornaments in her hair! I began to sift through the dung with renewed vigor!
"Going through my pet cemetery like that," she continued.
I narrowed my eyes.
Would a ghost haunt a pet cemetery?
I dug deeper. Some of the dung got on my sleeve, but I ignored it. This house had a well. I could wash the robes later.
"No, honestly, there is nothing to find there," the ghost insisted.
I pushed some of the dung to the side!
There was… a rabbit's head with two golden teeth there.
I looked at the ghost with a critical eye.
"Did you do charity?" I asked her. Now, I wasn't one to judge people often, but that was a rabbit's skull. Hinting that the animal had to endure the pain of having its teeth removed and replaced with golden ones while still alive.
Some things didn't fly with me.
"No. And it doesn't matter that I gave Fluffy golden teeth, either!"
I narrowed my eyes.
"Rule number 80: Mistreated animals come back as hellhounds," I recited from memory. "Everyone knows this rule."
She just shrugged and flew away.
There was no magic allowed in the house, darn it! And I already dug out the rabbit! There was only one thing I could do at that moment.
"I hope the priest is in the village today," it was quite the hope. The man was the only priest who took care of the entire valley. And ghosts were a common hazard on our streets.
I looked at my ruined gloves and then at the golden teeth. Legend had it that if someone took the object that offended the animal, they would be rewarded!
But I didn't have the guts to touch these golden teeth. That said, I had hoped that I could take from the ghost, but that was not to be.
The hag deserved for me to find her plot and rob her blind, but something about the cracked bunny skull told me that my help was needed more than my spite.
My outer robes were a bit dirty, but that was just fine! I took my cloak and went outside. Determined to give the poor rabbit the funeral it needed.
A lightning strike cracked in the distance. I heard the soft tap-tap of rabbit feet behind me.
There are many things one would do when haunted. One of them is to hide and scream. Another is to pray. I just looked behind me at the demonic rabbit.
Kneeling before it, offering my hand.
"I know you suffered," I began in the gentlest voice I could muster. The rabbit's red eyes started to glow.
"I know you are still suffering," I petted the ghost on the head. Only to take my hand away!
I looked at the black spot on my palm. The bunny just cursed me!
The hell!
"I didn't put you in a compost pile!" I yelled. It wasn't fair! Why didn't the darn rabbit take it out on the ghost?
The bunny began to hop around me! It was activating a curse!
I didn't think. There was no time for that!
I made promises as I sprinted down the streets, trying to shake off the ghost.
Promised Mother Nature that I would be a great and kind witch. Not one who failed crops or even ate children. Not that I had ever wanted to do such a thing. But if you have a coin to exchange, you should use it.
Then I prayed to God, someone who hated witches, and promised to go to church and read the Holy Book.
Something I had never done, but there's a first time.
The bunny lunged at me!
I let out a scream and ran faster!
When I finally found the doors to the church, I began to batter at them.
"Father Patrik! Father Patrik, I need help!"
Father Patrik wasn't answering. The clouds in the sky turned into storm clouds.
The bunny was circling me!
I had no idea how many karma points a breaking in a church was, but I still kicked the door open with a wind spell and rushed inside.
Only to find Father Patrik in the middle of a sermon. The entire village was sitting on the benches.
Ah, it was Sunday… crap.
"Millie?" Father Patrik asked. The bunny entered the church, hissed, and then hopped out.
Demonic bunnies! Ghosts on compost piles! Gnomes playing poker in the basement! A family of goblins… actually, I couldn't complain about the last one. They gave me some jerky just this morning.
Kind of them.
"Father Patrik, I need you to bless my house!"
And may the holy water decide who stayed and who went to haunt someone else!
"Millie, do sit down."
I didn't want to be burned by the holy words, but I had no choice. I sat down, even as my legs began to warm up. Even as my eyes began to sting.
Darn it, why always me?