This was not the plan, why does my life never go as planned, it was never in the picture for me to lose my dad at a early age. He was suppose to be there for me always, he was suppose to not leave me, I was going to make a name for myself and make him proud and pay him back for the sacrifices ge has made for me, not him dying before I can even graduate from college. I can't even cry, I can't move, it's like life has left me.
I watch as his coffin was lowered to the ground and still, not a single drop of tears left my eyes. I love my dad, I love him so much but why I can't cry, I don't know.
I brushed off the invisible dust on my cloths and left the cemetery without looking back, I heard my name being called but I just couldn't be there no more. It was too much.
I got into the town car we rented and went home. I took of my dress caring for noting, got into the bathroom not removing my underwear, I turned on the shower and was drenched immediately. Still, I couldn't cry, it was like I wasn't functioning. I needed to feel something, I needed to feel to know that I was still human. Amy, my best friend is not around, she should've been here, I didn't know what to do with myself, I felt lost. I came out from the bathroom and went into my room, I dried myself with my towel and wore a nice red strapless dress, short and seductive, yeah people might say I was acting foolish cause I just lost my dad and still yet am about to go clubbing, well they can go fuck them selves cause I was going, I need it.
I got out of the apartment After doing my makeup, Took a cab and told the cabbie to take my to the hottest club, like I said, I needed this, I have to run away from this emotions.
When I got to the club, what I was hoping for was not what I got, well my life never goes as planned, it's not a new thing, I was alone, no friends, I got passed security easily, it's always easy. I went straight to the bar and had my first two shots. I planned on getting high, dancing out my frustration and going back home. When I became tipsy after my third shot, I got on the face floor and danced, I danced like I owe nobody a damn. I went to the bar again and ordered more shots and this time around, I was feeling that shit in my system, I was finally getting code to my goal, I let go of myself not caring if anyone was looking at me, I danced and enjoyed myself for once , God it was an amazing feeling, noting holding my back, I was alive again, but in my mind I felt a hot big masculine hand around my waist, ohh, I loved where my mind was taking me. I turned around and came face to face with one of God's angel, no one told me angles could look so handsome and dangerous at the same time, but I loved what I was seeing, a fierce piercing blue eyes, looking at them felt like looking at the sea, a chiseled body and man the most shining brunette hair I have seen, he was good, right now my goal has changed. I needed this angel to kiss me, to fix me and to fill me, that must have been the reason Gid sent him right. Without thinking much, I stretched up to meet his height and then placed my lips on his, God these lips, so soft and yet so firm, he gave out a throaty moan and kissed me back, He was dominating me with us kiss, like he was trying to make me know he was the one ☝️ in charge not me, he was allowing this kiss not me. His tounge slide into my mouth with ease, like I was made for him. I was a mess, I moaned and grind myself into him, wanting more, I needed to feel him, every bit of him. He grabbed one of my breast through my dress and he deepened the kiss even more, my legs where like jelly and I was melting, all of a sudden he stopped his ministration and looked at me, smiled and left. He just left, not looking back at him, I felt hot and betrayed, I tried looking for him but he was like a ghost, I couldn't find him. I felt hot and bothered, I went to the bar, had another shot but I was no longer feeling it, I wanted to go home all of a sudden. I paid for my drink and went home. Who was he, was he really an angel, but everything felt too real to just be my mind playing games on me. I got home and showered again this time not drying myself, I fell on my bed, and slept with the thought of my mysterious man in mind.
Luca
She went into her house without struggling too much, just swaying a little bit which showed that my little vixen was drunk, she was mine the minute she caught my attention with her dancing like she wanted something out of it, she was broken, it's obvious from the way she let go of herself at the dance floor, is she like me, I wonder what could be so bad in her life that made her lose herself like that. I've never find myself lusting over a girl like I did her, when she kissed me with all boldness and determination, I was lost, I never planned to go in for it like that, I was going to use my regular charm, dance with her and then charm my way into her pants, fuck her out of my system and trash her but when she kissed me, I didn't know what happened, she was grinding into me and it took all my manpower not to fuck her right there In the club. I left the dance floor immediately cause I didn't trust myself with her but here I am, stalking her, I wanted to know everything about her, no information left out, everything
She's mine now, mine to owe, mine to fuck and definitely mine to protect.
I think am dead, my head feels heavy, I really went overboard last night. Then it dawned on me. My dad's dead.
I sighed and got out of bed, I went to my dad's room, and layed in his bed, if only I was home, maybe I could've known that he was sick, if only I was with him, he won't have been able to hide the fact from me that he was sick of cancer, he only told me it was a minor sickness and he would be fine with time, with all this feelings, yet I can't cry.