Jay-Jay's POV
I stared at Mama while eating. She was looking at me too, as if puzzled by what I was doing.
She placed some bacon on my plate. "Are you high? Why are you looking at me like that?"
I shook my head. "No."
"Just eat. You're acting weird."
I did as she said, but I still didn't take my eyes off her. She decided to just ignore me. She was about to put some food on Aries' plate, but my brother moved his plate away.
We all looked at him. I could feel Kuya Angelo's eyes on him. Mama didn't seem to care and just put the food on my plate instead.
Nice. More food for me.
"Aries." There was a warning in Kuya Angelo's voice.
My brother stood up. "I'm done eating," he said and walked away.
I just watched him while continuing to chew my food.
"Hurry up, Jay. Go to school with Aries," Kuya ordered, so I looked at him, still with bacon in my mouth.
I swallowed my food properly before answering. "You're not taking me to school?"
He raised an eyebrow, as if reminding me about what happened yesterday at Yuri's house. I just scratched my head and pouted.
I told you, he might get into another fight.
I finished my food quickly so I could catch up with my brother. He'd probably yell at me again for being slow. To this day, it's still a mystery to me how fast he takes a shower in the morning. At night, he's a bit slower.
Maybe he really just does a quick splash-and-go. If I ever confirm that, he's dead meat. I'll tease him for a long time as payback.
I finished eating and excused myself to take a shower. I had to hurry because I could already feel the presence of my destiny waiting outside my room. I brushed my teeth so fast that I hit my gums several times. I also got shampoo in my eyes more than once.
When I finished dressing, my socks didn't match again, but I didn't care. I just grabbed my bag and put on my shoes.
When I stepped out of my room, Horoscope was leaning against the wall, holding his phone and staring at a message. I was about to sneak a peek, but he must've felt my presence.
Oh well, I didn't see anything.
"Let's go… You're so slow," he said, turning away from me.
I pouted before following him. We said a quick goodbye to Mama and Tita Gema before heading out. My eyes nearly popped out when I saw his shiny new car.
He got in right away, so I didn't even get a chance to complain. I felt like I got slapped by an expensive fragrance when I entered. I suddenly became afraid to breathe, worried I might ruin the car with my lung air. My butt got cold instantly when I sat down, and the air conditioning wasn't even on yet.
I didn't dare pull the seatbelt either — I might break it. I have a habit of yanking seatbelts too hard.
"What's wrong with you?" my brother asked.
He must've noticed how stiff I was acting.
"I'm afraid to move in your new car," I answered sarcastically, and he just rolled his eyes.
"Sit properly. If I hit the brakes, you'll slam into the dashboard."
"It might get scratched," I insisted.
"It's just a car, Jay."
"A brand-new car."
"That will eventually get old."
"That probably costs more than my life."
"Not really. Your life is more important to us than this car," he said, making me smile.
Aww, I'm important.
"So it's okay if I do this?" I asked, leaning back and putting my feet up on the dashboard.
He immediately pinched my leg. I yelped in pain and quickly put my feet down, rubbing the spot where he pinched me.
"I said sit properly!" he snapped.
Grumpily, I adjusted my seat and finally buckled my seatbelt before he started the car.
I wasn't sure if the weather was really nice or if everything just looked better from the window of my brother's new car. I couldn't help but feel a little jealous. I didn't want to get complacent just because Papa was rich and I might get everything I wanted once we met. That's not even why I wanted to see him.
I miss my father. I want to be with him. It's been so hard growing up without both my parents around. It would've been understandable if they were just working abroad for my future — I could accept that. But that's not the case. We're just playing hide-and-seek.
I don't even know why they're keeping me away from my father.
Hide-and-seek… who's "it"?
I noticed the road we were taking — it looked like we were heading straight to school.
"Aren't we picking up Ella?" I asked, hoping for a no.
"No, she's already at school," he replied, and I smiled to myself.
That's how I like it — good news right off the bat.
We were nearing school when his phone rang. He tried to take it out of his pocket to check, but it slipped and fell by his feet. I reached down to help since I didn't want him to take his eyes off the road.
"Someone's calling, but it's just a number," I said and pressed the green button to answer — just as he yelled, "Don't!"
I ignored him because my attention was already on the voice from the other end of the line. I stared out the window, trying to remember where I'd heard that voice before. It was so familiar, but I couldn't place it. My heart raced and my body turned cold. I knew deep inside that the owner of that voice had left a mark on my life — a scar, even.
"Jay! Hang up the phone!" Aries shouted.
But I didn't listen. The next words from the caller froze me.
["You're not Aries."] The voice paused. ["Are you Jay-Jay?"]
The phone slipped from my hand. Tears blurred my vision and fell down my cheeks. My head started to throb, and I bowed my head, feeling cold and sick to my stomach. I didn't even notice when the car stopped.
A memory surfaced. A dark room, a small window, scattered items and boxes. Broken glass and blood on the floor. I saw someone — blurry but familiar.
Aries?
I saw Aries. This was part of our past.
I had to remember what happened. I knew there were things between us that I'd forgotten, just like with my stepfathers. I couldn't keep running from it and waiting for things to come back in bits and pieces.
I needed my memories with Aries. Even though we were okay now, I still wanted to understand why he avoided me before and why he got so mad at me. Maybe the answers were in those lost memories.
I had to face this, or I'd keep running from my fears forever.
Remember! Even if you have no brain, just remember!
Despite the pain in my head and the nausea, I forced myself to recall everything. My breathing grew tight, and my vision blurred even more. I focused on the room — the objects, the dim light from the bulb, every little detail.
"Jay! Please tell me what's wrong!" Aries pleaded, but I ignored him.
I felt his hands gripping my arms, trying to turn my face toward him.
"Breathe! Please breathe!" he begged as my tears fell harder. "I'm calling an ambulance!"
He reached for the phone on the floor, but I stepped on it to stop him. I shut my eyes and pushed myself to remember more.
There was something missing — the events weren't complete. It was like a puzzle with a missing piece.
Think harder, even if your brain is useless!
What's missing? In that room, we were locked up. Aries' real father locked us there. We tried to escape but got caught. There were handcuffs and so much blood. We fought back even though we got hurt. I remember broken glass and… I stabbed someone.
I…
I was stunned. I looked up before covering my mouth in shock. The tears I had earlier from dizziness and pain were replaced by tears from mixed emotions. I stepped back while staring at Aries.
"Jay, w-what's wrong?" he asked me.
I forced myself to open the car door to get out. I didn't listen to him calling me. I quickly walked in a direction I didn't even know. I wiped my tears several times, but they kept falling.
"Jay-Jay!" Aries called, and I quickened my pace, but he still managed to catch up with me.
He grabbed my arm, but I immediately pulled it back. I couldn't look him in the eye.
"I-I'll just go ahead to school," I said, but he stopped me.
"I think we should go to the hospital," he said and tried to pull me back toward the car, but I pulled my arm back again.
"I'm okay," I insisted.
"Jay—"
"I said I'm okay!" I snapped angrily.
I quickly walked away and glanced up briefly when I saw a man standing not far from us. David looked confused and worried as he watched me pass by.
"I'll take care of it," I heard him say, probably to Aries.
My steps were long as I entered the school. I didn't care if people stared at me because of how I looked. Even though I was out of breath, I kept walking fast, even up the stairs. I kept my head down even as I entered the classroom.
"Good morning, Jay! Good morning, Grandpa Dabid!" Ci greeted cheerfully.
I ignored him and went straight to my seat. I stared blankly, my fists clenched tightly on my lap. I could hear the Ulupong talking, but not a single word registered in my mind.
"Jay? Are you hungry? Do you want some food?"
"Maybe you want some bread? I have some here."
"I want some!"
"Screw you!"
"Maybe she's not feeling well. Eman, give her some medicine."
"I'm a cook, not a nurse."
"Maybe she had a bad dream again."
"Maybe you were in her dream."
"Maybe she's thinking about the money I owe her."
"Idiot, pay her back already."
"Let her think about it a little longer."
"Maybe she needs some affection."
I heard their soft laughter, but it disappeared when my tears started falling on their own. I remained motionless, unable to accept the memories that had come back to me.
I stabbed someone.
I know I have a bad temper. I never back down from a fight, and if I need to get into a brawl, I do it. But stabbing someone — that's a different story.
"Keifer," I heard them call their King.
I felt them step back slightly and sensed Keifer approaching me. He pulled up a chair to sit next to me. He held my hand, but I didn't loosen my clenched fists resting on my lap.
"Hey... I'm ready to listen."
My tears fell faster. My breathing became heavier. I kept my head down and my gaze blank. I couldn't look at him because I was afraid he wouldn't accept what I was about to say. But I wanted to tell him because I didn't know what to do anymore. My guilt was eating me alive.
"I-I remembered something," I began.
"From your past? Another bad memory?" he asked worriedly.
I nodded. "About Aries and me."
I tried to hold back my sobs, but I failed several times.
"Jay?" Ci called worriedly.
"Hey, it's okay. Don't rush. Take it slow," Keifer said and gently held my face to make me look at him, but the moment our eyes met, I couldn't stop myself from crying loudly.
He immediately hugged me and rested my head on his chest.
"I remember... w-what I did to him," I said as if I were confessing to him. "T-That's why he was mad at me," I sobbed.
Now I clearly understood his anger.
He had every right to hate me, and I had no right to complain. I shouldn't have gotten mad at him back then. I should've just accepted the harsh words he said. If anything, what he did to me wasn't enough compared to what I did to him. He could even hurt me physically, and I might even accept it willingly. He had every right to do so.
That's why he didn't want to live with me. That's why he always looked at me with anger. That's why it seemed like he wanted me erased from his life. That's why he kept our sibling relationship a secret. That's why...
"I-I stabbed him... I almost killed him," I cried, as the image of him lying on the floor, surrounded by his own blood, flashed in my mind. "I tried to kill my own brother!"
Keifer's embrace tightened around me, and I felt the Ulupong gather closer.
"You didn't mean to do that. I know you — you wouldn't go that far," he tried to ease my feelings, but his words didn't help.
"But I still did it."
"And there was a reason."
Even if I wanted to remember the reason, it wouldn't change the fact that I tried to kill him. I still stabbed him — not just once.
I could still hear his voice begging me. I didn't understand why I didn't listen to him.
Why did I do that?
My tears kept falling. Earlier, I wanted those memories to come back — but now, I wanted them gone again. I wanted them erased from my mind.
I didn't know if I could still face Aries.
This must be so hard for him. He had to live with the person who tried to take his life. He had to hold back his anger every day that he saw me. And in the end, he forgave me even though he didn't have to.
He should've just stayed mad at me — I would've accepted that more than knowing the pain he carried while we lived together and the burden of what I did to him.
Meanwhile, I was still holding a grudge against him back then, completely unaware that I had almost killed him. If only I had known, if only I had an idea, if only someone had told me.
"I-I can't face Aries anymore."
"Sshh... It would be better if you talked to him—"
I quickly shook my head. "No. I can't."
"Okay, I won't insist, but please don't make decisions when you're overwhelmed with emotions," he said, running his fingers through my hair before kissing my head. "You're still confused because of the memories that came back. You need to breathe first."
I tried to calm myself down like he said, but I still couldn't stop crying. He just let me be, even keeping our position. I could feel the Ulupong watching us, but they stayed quiet out of respect until I finally calmed down.
Yuri handed me a tissue, and David gave me a bottled water—it looked like he even went out just to buy it.
I was such a bother.
"Your brother wants to know if you're okay now," David said, making me look at him. "I just told him you look better."
I nodded and thanked him. I didn't know what to say to Aries when we saw each other. Honestly, I'd rather not see him later.
I didn't want to go home.
"I'm confused. What were you saying earlier?" Ci asked, but Eren quickly hit him on the head.
"Be sensitive. It just happened—don't make her relive it right away," he said, shaking his head.
"I-It's okay."
"I think you should tell them," Keifer suggested, but I quickly shook my head again.
"They'll understand, trust me."
I didn't know if I really should tell them. I looked around at everyone gathered around us.
They were the same Ulupong who had once kept secrets from me, but they were also the same ones who made up for it and proved they deserved forgiveness.
They were the same Ulupong who were with me through mischief, battles, and happiness. They trusted me, and I should trust them too.
I looked at Keifer, and he smiled at me, as if to say it was okay. I gave a small nod in response.
"I-I mentioned before that there were things in my past that I couldn't remember," I started, then told them about what happened earlier in Aries' car.
But I didn't stop there—I told them about my current situation and what happens to me when I see blood. The changes, the feelings I recall.
I tried my best to explain everything clearly. I was scared of what they might think and the judgment they might pass on me, but if I didn't try, I'd never know.
I just hoped they would understand.
Their reactions were mixed after my story. They all fell silent, which scared me, so I quickly turned to Keifer and looked up at Yuri behind him. He was clearly worried too, but like me, he just waited for their response.
"Jay..." Ci-N called, making my heart race. "I'm not even surprised—you're already crazy in the way you think—ouch!" He didn't get to finish because David hit him on the head.
"Be careful with your words," David warned, his voice threatening.
But I couldn't help smiling a bit at what Ci said. I knew he was only joking to lighten the mood.
"I'm just kidding!" Ci said, pouting.
"It's okay. I know Ci. I know he's just joking," I replied, smiling at him.
"But seriously, that explains why you acted like that when we fought Mykel's group. You didn't even seem to hear me—turns out, you were really having a problem," he added, and I lowered my head a bit.
He had seen me lose control back then. I thought he had forgotten about it because he never brought it up again.
"That's why you reacted like that when I got stabbed—because you're afraid of blood," Rory added.
"If you're scared of blood, how do you handle your monthly period?" Drew asked—and got a light slap from Denzel.
"Could you be more appropriate?" Denzel said, irritated.
"Gross. You're so dumb."
"Does Jay-Jay even get periods?"
"Of course."
I bowed my head in embarrassment, trying hard not to laugh. They really were Ulupong.
I just finished crying—please!
"Enough!" Keifer shouted, and they finally fell silent.
"How did we even end up talking about periods?" David asked, shaking his head.
Drew was about to say something, but I cut him off before he could keep going.
"I only look at it for a second," I said, and they all nodded—though Drew still got an earful of curses from the others.
"Kit, when's your period?" Mayo asked—and we all burst out laughing. They really were Ulupong through and through.