"After that, she started organizing a rebellion." Said Aidos
"Is that how she managed to kill the god of medicine later?" Diogenes asked
"No, her Concept told me that was a frame job."
"Who's her concept?"
"I can't tell you it's rude. But what I can tell you is your next ally."
"No, don't tell me about an enemy first, I'm sick of hearing about how I'll have to work with people more skilled than me." Diogenes joked
"Oh, ok, well, besides Mitas Nyarlathotep's right-hand man is…. So, watch out for…."
"Excuse me, what did you say? I didn't catch that."
"Our commitment must not be strong enough yet if your ears are still rejecting the name. … Looks like…"
"Nope, didn't hear that either. Just tell me a story about him."
"All I know about it is that it killed Reflection and his committed."
"You people can die?"
"Not usually I've only ever seen it happen once."
Ok, cool, I'm sick of hearing fairytales, I'm ready to go meet everyone else. Diogenes said he tried to reassure himself with some sense of control.
"Ok, that works for me, they're all the way across the country in Kallos Valley."
"Ok, let's take my fastest car then."
Diogenes led Aidos through his labyrinth of a house, brimming with fine art and exclusively decorative stiff seating, till eventually they arrived at his car cellar. Carefully, he leaned against his pristine "Gotta-Have it" brand car.
"My girl Argos is the world's fastest car; she'll get us there quicker than any other car on the market!"
The duo staggered through traffic on their way out of the newly crowned capital of Athenia, Yorvorville. Usually, journeys are portrayed with a Tolkien-esque sensibility, beautiful prose comprised of delicately constructed similes further composed of unique cherry-picked words. I wish this could be that, but it can't because even the most apt descriptions of the scenery, such as grimy, arrogant, bustling, lonely, grey, and neon, fail to capture the essence of the city. That is because such words breathe unearned life into the city only possible through authorial intent. The city was indeed all those things however, it is infinitely more important that it was none of them. It was all those dirty words that were told not to use. The streets were just bad, its city planners, evil, its buildings, slabs, and its citizens, simply lame.
If a poetic description had to be given, Aidos would have been the one to give it; she despised the city, even going as far as claiming it was "A graveyard for those who lived there." Diogenes sensed her words surpassed mere analogy, which prompted him to make a note never to inquire about it in the hopes of avoiding a conversation he wasn't emotionally prepared to have.
The journey that remained past the city's guarded borders, which seemed to only exist as an excuse to detain Xecomi citizens and promote the war, was comprised of equally unremarkable scenery that would alternate between different cities and company towns. The company towns that were once pitched to the citizens of Athenia as a way to produce more jobs lacked the homey comfort of a ghost town, as even they housed spirits.
After a week and a half of travelling, that would have only been a week if it wasn't for the cities that trapped them in their orbit. They arrived at a quaint town protected by an iridescent dome.
"Hi, you're Diogenes, right? I think I recognize you from the news." Asked
An impish Xecomi boy who had appeared beside them with a popping noise.
"Yes, and I think I recognize you too, it's just I can't place your name." Diogenes said while extending his hand for a handshake that the imp took far too excitedly.
"That makes sense, my name's Issac Vonnegut, I used to give speeches on scientific theories before all the news stations declared me a heretic." The imp identified himself, unfazed by his own tragic story. And neglecting to explain his inexplicably Mangermic last name.
This jogged Diogene's memory; Issac used to be considered a prodigy or a lunatic, depending on who you asked. He would give these long-televised lectures on his various theories. People used to say he breathed science. Issac believed this was due to his unyielding dedication to his field, but in reality, it was in reference to the fact that when he was lecturing for hours, he simply would not stop talking except to take a bite of his signature everything bagel that was so overly seasoned the in room audience could distinctly smell every season, even then he would only eat once every second hour.
"Wow, you two got here quicker than we expected!"
Diogenes cut off Aidos's shock at being seen so easily in order to celebrate the most important conversational tradition of the twenty-first century, bragging.
"That makes sense, my Argos here is a 'Gotta Have It Model 776'. She's the fastest car in the world."
"She's actually the second fastest car now that the Model 777 came out an hour ago."
Isaac droned on about the impressive and innovative new engine the Model 777 used. Diogenes, however, was far too preoccupied, recounting all the times he had been unintentionally insulted in the past few months. With questionable accuracy, he believed it was more times than he'd been intentionally praised, regardless of whether his thoughts were accurate. Diogenes, at this point, was getting sick of the accidental insults.
"Tell ya what, while I walk you into town, you two can tell me about the trip," Issac suggested, stretching out his hands, inviting the duo to hold them.
Effortlessly, the three of them walked through the dome, abandoning Argos to break down in solitude wheels popped off, such as the life cycle of consumer goods. Gain attention, reel in customers, intentionally fall short of expectations, then break down as scheduled. When the journalist who unveiled that this was every major company's scheme he was relentlessly mocked for naming this cycle "The Wheel That Keeps Companies Running" by people who said, "that makes a square not a circle." The journalist really should have picked a more apt analogy.
Issac escorted them past the scattered townsfolk to other members of the main team. Unnecessarily, he explained that they held meetings in the center of the center street of the town, inside a modest green tent. This was unnecessary as there was only one road, the road they were walking on, and thus the center street. So, when they saw the green tent and all the people gawking around it as if they were watching a sporting event, they knew it was of some importance.
As they parted open the tent, Aidos joyously told Issac about the memory game she and Diogenes played in their downtime during the journey to the town. Prompting Diogenes to boast about how he had won every game, claiming.
"You can trust that I won because that's how I remember it, and I won, so you can trust my memory!"
Once they fully stepped in, a familiar female voice greeted Diogenes.
"Wow, you're always the perfect little politician, aren't you?"
Instantly, Diogenes recognized that the condescending voice was Cass. She was his favorite person to debate, partly because she was the only person with opposing views, but mostly because he always won their debates, at least that's how the public saw it. She was the only leftist newsperson to earn a "boon" from what Diogenes now knew were dead gods. Her "boon" was a timeslot on the first largest channel after the second largest, at least that's how President Mitas explained it. During this timeslot she had a show named the people's shows that absolutely no people watched. That's because she claimed to be a prophet and all her prophecies were so dire that everyone collectively decided that she was either a liar, in which case there was no point in listening or if she was telling the truth then in which case they didn't listen because well no one actually remembered the reason in this case they just elected not to.
Diogenes would have been more surprised by her presence there if it wasn't for the pale naked man who sat on a throne in the center of their tent, directly under its only light fixture and in front of a bright TV so every part of him was utterly and indecently exposed. The TV was playing a rerun of the pilot of the most popular sitcom. Later Diogenes would find out that was all the TV played and be puzzled by what was more strange, how the man seemed perfectly content with this, or how he managed to find a channel that only played the pilot of a sitcom on repeat.
A tall, lanky woman armed with a bow hastily explained to Diogenes that the naked man was Apathy's committed, and he was responsible for the dome around the town. In fact, they built everything around him in order to utilize the dome's protection; as it turns out, only Issac can walk through it freely. She also explained they had no idea why he was there to begin with or anything else about the peculiar way he presented himself. They only knew who his Concept was because they didn't bother hiding themselves or lying about their identity when they would bother to stop by. Only after all the explanations and apologies on the naked man's behalf were finished did she bother to identify herself as Robin Hood.
Beside Robin Hood was a man who introduced himself as Lou. Today he was dressed in an odd eighties get-up, but he would often rotate his style as he would preach to anyone who would listen, "All styles are a form of conformity!" The only constants about him were his wooden bat spiked with nails and his peculiar accent; Diogenes never bothered to ask him to identify.
Lastly, the youngest was a sickly nineteen-year-old boy who hid himself in the corner of the tent while in the fetal position. Endlessly, he muttered to himself about an upcoming world war. This upcoming war was the only thing he and Cass could agree on, as usually, when he would attempt to mutter through a sentence, she would cut him off rudely, asking. "I'm sorry are you trying to queef out a sentenced you pussy?" She claimed she was hard on him to teach him to stand up for himself, but others suspected it was because she saw herself in him. During their initial meeting, Diogenes was able to make out a few quotes from the coward, such as. "Any country whose army is comprised of soldiers truly willing and eager to fight was already infected with a preexisting illness." This quote was rebuked by Lou, who said, "That country would also triumph over the others." His other quotes were "This world is so utterly nonsensical that if something somehow managed to make sense, it had to be perverted into something even more nonsensical than its absence would have been! For example, conscientious objection makes perfect sense if someone truly believed fighting in a war would land them on the bad side of their god, they should not be obligated to fight. This makes perfect sense! But every religion has a rule against killing, and absolutely none, not one, had it added in parentheses that murder was allowed if some country ordered it so! So, for conscientious objection to make sense in the nonsensical war-turned world, they had to arbitrarily select which religions it applied to!" Diogenes was at first taken aback by how well spoken he was; however, later he had learned it was because he locked himself in his room all day reading. The only other quote Diogenes could make out was that "A non-mandatory draft is an illusion, for it only lasts till exactly when a mandatory draft would be enacted." Not one person in the group, aside from Diogenes, disagreed with that last statement, and not one person knew Diogenes disagreed due to his tight lips. Even after all that muttered talk, Diogenes had no clue what his name was until Robin introduced him as Phillip Crafter.
After all the necessary introductions were made, Robin excitedly clapped her hands together as if to say finally, we can get started.
"Is everybody ready for their first mission?"