The morning began with a crisis.
One of the chickens in the sect's backyard had exploded.
Literally.
Boom.
Feathers everywhere.
Xu Liang stared at the blast zone, covered in yolk. "…Why?"
Crutchy checked the coop. "One of them ate a fragment of the Star-Spiced Chili. I told you all not to sprinkle cosmic seasoning on bird feed!"
Mu Yao mourned. "She was our best egg-layer…"
Wei Yun, ever the optimist, wrote on a scroll:
> "Memo: Star Chili = Extreme Power. Weaponize chicken?"
The sect now had a goal: collect ingredients for the Spirit Realm Cooking Tournament without detonating livestock.
---
Bai Ye, sealed-immortal-turned-soup-savant, pointed to a rift in the mountains.
"There. The Dungeon of Culinary Despair. Guarded by spice beasts. Traps made of sentient tofu. And worst of all—rogue spirit chefs who believe pineapple belongs on spirit pizza."
Wei Yun: "The horror…"
System chimed in.
> [Quest: Retrieve the Root of Spicy Regret from Dungeon Depth Level 13]
[Warning: Dungeon may trigger emotional flashbacks, flavor-based illusions, or spicy-induced enlightenment.]
Pan-Pan loaded her skewer launcher.
Mu Yao cracked her knuckles.
Xu Liang tripped before they entered and somehow disarmed three traps. Promising start.
---
Level 1: Sentient Onions.
They cried at you, you cried at them. A weirdly emotional start. Xu Liang had a breakdown over soup his mother never made. Group hug ensued.
Level 4: Ghost Pepper Wraiths.
Literal ghosts that screamed in five languages. Wei Yun defeated them by shouting back louder… while holding a giant spoon.
Level 7: Puzzle Kitchen.
To open the next door, they had to perfectly cook a dish using no heat, no tools, and no logic.
Pan-Pan solved it by making raw emotional sushi—literal sadness wrapped in despair-seaweed. The dungeon cried and opened the door.
Level 10: The Rogue Spirit Chef.
He wore a blindfold, dual-wielded frying pans, and floated midair while screaming about "The One True Sauce."
He attacked with flambé fury, deep-fried illusions, and sauce chakrams.
"Only one sauce shall dominate all!" he screamed. "Ranch!!!"
Mu Yao gasped. "He's gone too far."
They defeated him by summoning Bai Ye's Forbidden Fondue Fountain, causing his ranch obsession to curdle in shame.
---
Finally, Level 13.
A single plant stood in the middle of a glowing field. It shimmered with tragic aura.
Crutchy whispered, "That root once made a god cry from both ends."
Xu Liang cautiously approached.
> [System Warning: The Root of Spicy Regret may cause flashbacks.]
He touched it.
Immediately, he relived every rejection in his life—romantic, academic, culinary. He collapsed sobbing.
Mu Yao held him. "It's okay. Rejection is the seasoning of growth."
Pan-Pan yanked the root out with gloves and an apology letter. "Let's cook."
---
As they exited, the walls shook.
A titanic chicken descended from the ceiling. Wings of fire. Beak of light. Aura of ancient poultry.
> [Dungeon Boss: Celestial Chicken X – "The Egg That Hatched a Star"]
It clucked in Dao.
Wei Yun stepped forward. "You must be the mother of our exploding hen…"
The chicken flared with star-fire and lunged.
Cue: chaotic battle.
Crutchy lassoed it with spiritual noodles.
Pan-Pan stabbed its leg with bamboo skewers of confusion.
Bai Ye offered it a bowl of soup with sentimental spice.
Xu Liang… somehow rode it for five seconds. He now has trauma.
Finally, Wei Yun activated his system's hidden function:
[Supreme Poultry Pacification Technique: Farm-to-Dao Peace Offering]
He knelt and offered the Celestial Chicken a roasted grain spirit riceball… infused with chicken appreciation qi.
It paused.
It sniffed.
It… laid an egg.
> [Item Acquired: Celestial Egg of Destiny (Will Hatch in 3 Arcs)]
---
The team returned triumphantly.
Root of Spicy Regret? Obtained.
Celestial Egg? Glowing ominously.
Rogue Chef's ranch army? Defeated.
Exploding chickens? Mostly solved.
As they prepared for the Spirit Realm Tournament, the System dinged:
> [Incoming Plot Update: Someone is watching you.]
[??? has entered the Mortal Plane. Intention: Observe… and interfere.]
Wei Yun looked up. "I swear, if it's another edgy villain with a dark cloak and a vague backstory…"
A scroll fell from the sky.
> "NEXT ARC: THE RIVAL SECT OF ABSURDITY APPROACHES"
"BEWARE: Their Sect Master is… your former goldfish."
Everyone turned to Wei Yun.
He froze. "...I knew I shouldn't have flushed that fish."
---
End of Chapter 7.