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Part 1: What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
After narrowly surviving an encounter with a parasol-wielding executioner, Wei Yun stood upon a plateau beside the Abandoned Sect's very first architectural achievement: a crooked shed with a sign that read:
> "WELCOME TO THE LIBRARY OF UNKNOWABLE TRUTH (NO RETURNS)"
Pan-Pan blinked. "It's just… a hut."
Wei Yun proudly nodded. "That's where it starts. Today it's a shack. Tomorrow it's an interdimensional vault of heretical power."
Mu Yao: "So we're recruiting librarians?"
Wei Yun: "No. We're recruiting lunatics with good handwriting."
Thus began the construction of the sect's Forbidden Library, with ancient texts scrawled on banana peels, scrolls made of shadow-silk, and one particularly cursed pamphlet titled "How to Become a Demon King by Accident: A Step-by-Step Guide."
Tang Zhi held up a book. "This one just screams every time I open it."
Wei Yun: "Perfect. Put it in the 'Beginner' section."
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Part 2: The Librarian Applicant from Beyond the Curtain
They weren't even done building when the first applicant arrived.
A cloaked figure appeared, floating an inch off the ground, surrounded by butterflies made of script and syllables.
"I heard… there is a position for Keeper of Forbidden Knowledge."
Wei Yun squinted. "Are you literate?"
"I wrote the Codex of Screaming Moonlight."
Pan-Pan: "Wasn't that the book that made an empire go mute for five years?"
"Exactly."
They hired her immediately.
> Name: Shen Mo
Title: Whisperer of Illegible Truths
Specialty: Reading books that burn your soul
Weakness: Sneezes violently when exposed to common sense
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Part 3: The Banned Book That Banned Itself
While organizing the shelves, Barry the Scroll began vibrating.
"WARNING. You've placed a BANNED ITEM next to a CURSED VOLUME next to a SACRED TACO RECIPE. Reality may rupture."
Indeed, a small vortex opened in the 'Cookbooks' section.
Tang Zhi: "Why does the bread smell like betrayal?"
Mu Yao punched a sentient frying pan. "The lasagna just blinked at me."
Wei Yun clapped his hands.
"This is good. The Forbidden Library has achieved sentience!"
The library door slammed shut.
A deep voice echoed: "You dare shelve fiction next to nonfiction?!"
Shen Mo appeared, slapping a living manuscript back into its spine.
"Sorry. That was The Autobiography of a Liar. It's unstable."
Wei Yun grinned.
"Perfect. We'll make that our entrance exam."
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Part 4: Cultivators From Other Sects Visit... and Flee
Soon, rumors of the forbidden knowledge spread like wildfire. Curious cultivators arrived.
One elder from the Sect of Eternal Illumination opened a book labeled "The Sun Is a Lie."
He blinked twice, then tried to put out the sun with a bucket of water.
A disciple from the Sword-Harmony Sect read a pamphlet on "Fist Cultivation for Swordsmen" and immediately punched his sword into submission.
Even an arrogant young master from the Thousand Lotus Sect stormed in, sneering.
"I bet your 'library' can't enlighten me."
He left 30 minutes later… converted to Waffle Dao and refusing to speak unless syrup was present.
Pan-Pan whispered, "We might've created a spiritual hazard."
Wei Yun: "Or a revolution."
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Part 5: The System Wakes Up Screaming
> SYSTEM ALERT: WHAT. DID. YOU. DO?!
Wei Yun casually sipped tea brewed from a recipe he found in a book called "Brew It Like You Mean It: Teas That Kill Gods."
"Oh, System. We now house the largest archive of doomed literature this side of the Realm."
> REWARD: +5000 Providence Points
WARNING: YOU HAVE ATTRACTED THE EYES OF THE 'INK SPILLER TRIBUNAL'
NEW QUEST: SURVIVE YOUR OWN LIBRARY FOR 7 DAYS
PENALTY FOR FAILURE: YOU BECOME A BOOK.
Tang Zhi: "I'd read a book about you."
Pan-Pan: "I'd use it to level my table."
Mu Yao: "I'd keep it under my pillow."
Wei Yun: "…You're all banned."
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Part 6: Night One in the Forbidden Library
Night fell.
Books shifted on their own.
The library muttered to itself.
Shen Mo sat in the center, surrounded by floating runes, scribbling her dreams into a scroll that bled ink.
Wei Yun placed a sleeping mat under a bookshelf labeled "Untranslated Howls."
Tang Zhi had tied himself to a table.
Mu Yao slept while holding a warhammer.
Pan-Pan had fled and left a sign: "Don't wake me unless reality collapses."
Barry whispered, "Someone just checked out a cosmic horror. Should I stop them?"
Wei Yun rolled over. "Nah. Let them learn."
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End of Chapter 34