Theme song:"The night we met by Lord Huron"
"Grief doesn't ask permission. It takes over, and you're left with the pieces to put together, piece by piece."
— Mira
---
I stood at the edge of the beach, the waves crashing at my feet, but I couldn't feel them.
The salt in the air should have brought a sense of peace, but it only made the ache in my chest grow sharper.
It had been a week since Elian died.
One week.
And yet, it felt like a lifetime had passed since I last heard his laugh, or saw his smile, or held his hand.
The hospital room was a distant memory now, replaced with the void that he had left.
And no amount of time seemed to ease the pain.
---
The funeral had come and gone in a blur.
I couldn't even remember most of it—faces, names, words, they all faded into the haze of grief.
What was real was the emptiness.
The absence of the boy I had loved. The boy who had made me feel like I could conquer the world, even when I was broken.
---
I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself, but it felt like the world was slipping out of focus again.
I closed my eyes and let the wind whip through my hair.
It was just like that day at the beach—the day Elian and I had stolen from the world, the day we had laughed, kissed, and made promises.
But now, it was only me.
---
"Why does it hurt so much?" I whispered to no one, though I knew no answer would come.
I didn't expect one.
---
My thoughts wandered back to the night before he passed away, to the promise I had made to him.
To live.
To keep going.
But how was I supposed to do that?
How was I supposed to live in a world where he no longer existed?
I knew he would want me to be strong.
To go out and live, even when the grief felt unbearable.
But the weight of it—this loss, this hole in my chest—made it impossible to move.
---
I walked along the shore, each step heavier than the last.
The horizon was a dull, lifeless grey.
I could hear the sound of waves crashing, but all I could think of was him.
Elian.
I could still remember his voice, his laughter, the way he looked at me like I was the only person in the world who mattered.
But now, all of that was gone.
---
The sky grew darker as the sun dipped below the horizon.
The world around me faded to shadows, and all I could feel was the cold.
The promise he had asked me to make seemed impossible now.
To live.
How could I live without him?
---
But then, in the silence, I remembered something he had said.
"Even when I'm gone, you'll carry me with you. In your heart. In your soul. Every step you take, I'll be there, guiding you, loving you."
I stopped walking and turned to look at the sky, the stars just beginning to flicker into view.
I couldn't see them clearly through the haze of tears, but I knew they were there.
I could almost feel him with me, the way I had when we stood on this very beach together, hand in hand, staring up at the stars.
---
Maybe it wasn't enough.
Maybe I would never be whole again.
But I couldn't stay in this endless night.
I couldn't keep living in the shadow of his absence.
So I took a deep breath, and for the first time in days, I made myself move forward.
---
I didn't know where the road would lead.
But one step at a time, I would find my way.
And somewhere, far away, I knew Elian would be with me.