It started off as admiration. Then curiosity. Then forced attraction. Your friend had forced you into a relationship with Mikey, because of course she had. Whether or not she knew you were unhappy was a mystery, but Mikey was completely oblivious to your lack of attraction. He believed you loved him truly and wholeheartedly, and was unaware of the growing distance and tension in your relationship.
It was like a plague, how quickly your dissatisfaction settled in. You grew quiet, distant. No one really noticed. That was, until Baji came along. From the first moment you laid eyes on him, you knew, he was the one. His presence was calming around you. Most people believed him to be loud, aggressive, even abusive. But he wasn't. The Baji on the battlefield of a gang brawl was different from the Keisuke that presented himself to you when you needed help with school, or just an escape from Mikey.
However he was charismatic, and that's what your friend didn't like. She saw him as an opponent, a force that she was going to reckon with until he left you alone. She saw him as a leech for attention, even though that was the farthest thing from the truth. "I'm just protecting you" is what she would always say when you questioned her motives and actions. She claimed he gave her a bad feeling, and that perhaps, he was trying to hurt you, he was bad for you.
So you ignored it for many months. Forced yourself to stomach the illness that Mikey failed to see. Mikey was in way over his head, already begging you to advance the relationship. He loved you fiercely, and with ambition. His goal was to marry, to fuck, to settle. And maybe the truth was that, in his desperation, he completely forgot to check in with you, to see how you were doing, to understand why you were growing quieter and more distant with each passing day.
It was early December when Baji began getting more involved in your life. He came over more frequently, helped you slow down and handle your stress with school and your growing tension within your relationship and home life. Baji, unlike what most people saw in him, was soft. Tender. Caring. He didn't push or pull you, he accepted you as you were, and helped rather than fixed your flaws. He didn't carry the weight for you, he taught you how to cope with it in a healthy way and carry it with more ease.
Perhaps the reinforcement of your relationship with Mikey on your friend's behalf was why you should've been with Baji the whole time. Perhaps she was an energy vampire and he was your knight in shining armor. Or, perhaps, it was a cruel fate to make you suffer before giving you peace. At least, you hoped you would achieve peace. Life was becoming more draining as weeks and months went by. School got hard. Home life got tense. Your relationship got cold. Your friendship got toxic.
It was late April by now, a few days past Easter. You were talking to your friend, who in turn, wanted you to talk with Mikey, just so she could be envious of your relationship, because her own was slow and sad, in her words. She was jealous of you, and even insisted that Mikey asked her out not long into your relationship. Whether or not it was true wasn't brought up, but Mikey seemed unaware of his own alleged proposal.
In talking with Mikey, you'd mentioned school, home life, and your friendship, and how everything felt too heavy, how you wished you were dead, saying that it would be better off and more peaceful for yourself and others who wouldn't have to deal with you anymore. Several rounds of back and forth of Mikey trying to convince you that you truly were okay and loved and needed led to a heated argument, and in the heat of the moment, you finally confessed how unhappy you were and had been for several months, and how you didn't want to hurt him, knowing how much he truly loved you.
Instead of yelling or getting angry, Mikey became quiet. He looked at you with so much love and concern for your health that it was almost as painful to look at him as it was to sit with yourself. "I can't fix it this time. I... can't help you. This is out of my hands, and it's clear that you need someone who can support you and give you the help you need. I wish you would've told me sooner, how you were feeling. I care about you, and had you told me that you were unwell, I would've let you go. If it's Baji you want, then go. As much as it hurts to let you go, you are sick. You are hurting. And I'm not the one who can heal you." Mikey whispers, his hand unclasping from your own. He gives you one last kiss on the cheek before turning around and walking away, all the while, calling Baji and telling him that you needed him. Badly.
It was mere minutes before Baji arrived in a hurry, hair frizzy and messy, out of breath, as if he was scared he was too late. "You're still here. Thank God." He mutters, taking a seat beside you. For a long white, he sits in peaceful silence with you. He speaks up quietly, hardly above a whisper, "What are you feeling right now? Are you going to be okay?" His hand hesitantly inches towards yours until the comforting warmth of his callous skin envelopes your own. He doesn't push for an answer or rush you, and he doesn't even look at you, in case it made you feel rushed.
"I don't know." You answer truthfully. Baji leans in closer and gently brushes some hair out of your face, "You don't need to be okay. You don't need to perform. I know it really sucks, how you're feeling right now. It's going to get better, and I'm going to be right here with you until it does. You're not alone." He speaks softly, resting his forehead against your own. The truth was, he knew exactly how to diffuse situations like this, because Kazutora frequently felt the same way. He knew himself what it was like to be alone, being that his mom often worked late, and he was an only child who almost never brought friends over.
Baji soon pulls away to look into your eyes, "What do you need right now? What feels comfortable?" He whispers. Even though it wasn't verbally established, both of you knew this was the start of a relationship. His warm, slender fingers press into your hands soothingly, grounding you. "I don't know how long it's been since I ate. Or had water. Or bathed." You confess quietly, earning a soft hum from him, "Or cleaned your room." He jokes, his nose scrunching slightly at the pungent odor of leftover ramen sitting in cups scattered across the room, or the dozens of water cups sitting on every possible surface. "How about this, you go take a shower, and I'll clean up your room. After you get out of the shower, I'll make you lunch and we can eat together." He smiles humbly, helping you stand from the bed before reaching for the outfit you'd told him you wanted.
Once you shower off and get dressed, he shows you your newly cleaned room, even having put away the clean clothes in your laundry basket and put the dirty ones in their place. Afterwards, he leads you to the kitchen and makes a soup of some kind, complete with herbs and spices that would help with the lack of nutrients you'd been getting. Sitting down to eat with you, he sits across from you, talking to you quietly about how life was and what was going on to make you so miserable. Looking up from the rim of his bowl, he smiles at you genuinely, "We're going to get you out of this, and when we do, we're going to celebrate with anything you want, no matter how far-fetched or expensive. I'll do anything for you. I love you."