『 The Villain Streamer System offers you』
『A customized streaming interface synced directly to your neural cortex』
『Access to villain-tier tech and arsenal』
『Ranking and reputation tracking through live stream performance』
『Stat boosts and abilities linked to emotional and physical interaction with high-rated women (7.0+ only, no mid)』
『Viewer donations converted into in-game credits, gear upgrades, and cosmetic flex』
Jason squinted. "Wait, hold up. Emotional and physical interaction with women?"
『Yes. Romantic. Sensual. Intimate. Or, as the previous host called it: 'Side quests with benefits.』
Jason choked. "That's ridiculous. What kind of weeb-ass gacha trash is this?"
The screen rotated.
『This "gacha trash" is how the Anomaly became the world's most feared S-rank villain, racked up a 93% approval rating among degenerates, and made more money than your entire Frymart has in three fiscal years.』
Jason flopped onto the one couch cushion he called a bed. "Why me though? There's got to be, like, at least seven other dudes more qualified. Probably ones who shower."
『You were compatible. And you touched the helmet. That counts.』
Jason groaned. "So what now? I just go around seducing women and unlocking new abilities like some scuffed dating sim with a murder twist?"
『No. Not just that. You need training first.』
"Oh, great. What kind of training? Kung fu? Gym sessions? A Rocky montage?"
『Basic training will cover』
『Villain Streamer Etiquette』
『Monologuing 101』
『Posing for dramatic lighting』
『Picking your villain laugh』
『Identifying top-tier waifus with latent potential』
『And, of course, Not Dying Instantly™』
Jason looked up, deadpan. "Not Dying Instantly is a real module?"
『Yes. It's the most failed course.』
Jason groaned and stood, pacing around the room. "Fine. One question though, Wasn't Anomaly, like… not into girls?"
The helmet paused.
『Ah a fan favorite. He was. But his streaming arc prioritized destruction, domination, and fashionably late entrances. You? You're getting the full romance DLC.』
Jason narrowed his eyes. "So I'm getting the horny edition."
『Deluxe Horny Edition™. Sponsored by Streamscape Prime. With loyalty rewards.』
Jason sighed and plopped back down. "This is so dumb."
『And yet… you're still here.』
Jason glared at the screen. "Just… just tell me how to get started."
『Tomorrow, I'll tell you. Be charming. Be dramatic. Be evil… adjacent. Oh, and wear pants. Pants are good.』
Jason looked down at himself. "I'm wearing pants."
『You sure? They look like depression with a zipper.』
He gave the helmet the finger and flopped over onto his side.
『System Update: Host has accepted fate. Beginning installation of tutorial mission: 'Villainy With Riz.'』
Jason groaned again. "God help me."
『He won't. You're a villain now.』
...
Jason woke up slowly, the morning light slicing through the half-broken blinds of his apartment.
Something warm rested against his chest.
He cracked one eye open.
It was the helmet.
"…Oh no," he muttered. "Oh hell no — "
He flung it off with a groan, but the helmet didn't even make it halfway to the ground. It hovered, buzzing like a smug little drone with boundary issues.
『Is this how you greet your helper good morning?』
Jason sat up, rubbing the crust out of his eyes. "Helper? You were spooning me like a needy toaster."
He stood and stripped his shirt off, revealing his all-natural six-pack of absolutely not muscle.
『Where are you going?』
"Work," he mumbled, digging around for a semi-clean hoodie. "Y'know, that thing poor people do to not die?"
The helmet let out a condescending mechanical scoff.
『Incorrect. You're not going anywhere until you open your Starter Pack Rewards.』
Before Jason could even form a snarky reply, a chrome box shimmered into existence on his lap.
Sleek. Cold. Suspiciously like something Jeff Bezos would send to his enemies.
It clicked open with a hiss.
Inside were three compartments. Glowing softly. Tempting him like the world's most unethical unboxing video.
He raised an eyebrow. "Let me guess. My firstborn is the warranty?"
The first compartment flashed open.
『Starter Pack Gift #1: $1,000,000 USD.』
『Stored in-system. Can be transferred to a bank account of your choice.』
『Description: For when you're finally tired of living in a mold-infested microwave. Please consider investing in a home that doesn't double as a bacteria farm.』
Jason gave the helmet the middle finger without hesitation.
"Say that to my face, you floating Reddit mod."
Still… a million dollars.
That could fix a lot of problems.
But also, his bank account was Tier 4 — aka the kind you open with $10 and a dream.
If he dumped a million into that thing, the IRS would kick down his door with riot shields.
He frowned.
"…Is the system gonna get me arrested?"
『Relax. The system operates through shell accounts, fake banking structures, and cryptocurrency mixers. We're morally ambiguous but tax-smart.』
"Jesus," he muttered. "You're like a felon's wet dream."
The second compartment hummed.
『Starter Pack Gift #2: Anomaly Suit V5.5 — Nanotech Combat Edition.』
『Schematics uploaded. Summons on mental command.』
『Description: A next-gen upgrade to the Anomaly legacy. Features adaptive stealth plating, modular weapon systems, kinetic shields, and the sex appeal of a space ninja. Comes in matte black. Because you're not wearing spandex, we have standards.』
A projection shimmered into the air.
Sleek armor. Glowing red lines. Liquid metal folding into blades, tendrils, and even a grappling system.
It looked like Batman and a cyberpunk war criminal had a baby.
Jason whistled. "Okay, I'll admit, that's hot."
『Unlike you.』
"RUDE."
Then came the final compartment. It clicked open with a faint pop and a wisp of shadow.
A small black creature blinked up at him with glowing red eyes.
A bunny.
A shadowy, demonic-looking bunny that floated an inch above the box, trails of smoky mist drifting from its paws. It tilted its head.
Jason tilted his back.
"…Is that a minion?"
『Starter Pack Gift #3: Villain's Companion — Shadow Bunny (Level 1).』
『Description: A stealth summon created by the former host. Cute. Deadly. Devours walls, wires, and sometimes dreams. Functions as a scout, combat aid, and emotional support murder pet.』
The bunny hopped out and instantly teleported onto Jason's shoulder like it had claimed territory.