Noticing the peculiar shape of the unmistakable hands of the newborn in front of me, the realization of my situation gradually crept over me. Reincarnation? Memories of my previous life began to flood back, days spent scrolling through and reading reincarnation and fantasy stories that offered me a chance to escape reality and gave me the push I needed to get through the day.
Soon, a sharp cry echoed through the room, grabbing my attention. I shifted my gaze toward the source, only to see another infant with a tuft of white hair and striking golden eyes. Suddenly, the door burst open with a loud bang, revealing two people—a woman and a man. The woman had dark brown eyes and loose hair, dressed in something resembling medieval peasant clothing I had seen in movies and videos before. Meanwhile, the man was muscular, with blonde hair, blue eyes, and a rigid expression.
"XX–X-XXX-XXX-X," the man roughly said in a language I had never heard before, handing a silver coin to the woman standing in front of me before promptly leaving the room. Left alone with us, the woman turned toward my brother, changed his cloth diaper, and then began to breastfeed him. My stomach began to rumble uncontrollably, catching her attention as she shifted her gaze toward me.
After a while, she gently laid my brother back in the bed before softly placing her hands behind my back and lifting me high into her bosom. I instinctively tried to protest, attempting to tell her to stop, but the only sounds that escaped my lips were incoherent baby noises, "Ahh... baah... buu." Unfazed by my feeble attempt, she continued her actions. Reluctantly, I swallowed my pride as an adult and accepted the breastfeeding from this woman, a stranger I had only just met.
I felt full, but then an uncontrollable sensation, like a flood breaching a dam, began to make my diaper wet. Ugh... a baby's body is truly inconvenient. The woman didn't notice at first, so I instinctively moved a lot and made noise. Eventually, she began to unwrap my diaper, and that's when I saw it... the symbol of pride from my previous life was gone. I... I've been reincarnated as a girl.
Months passed in a gradual cycle of eating, sleeping, crying, and babbling. It took time for it to fully sink in, but eventually, I accepted the fact that my gender had changed in this new world. Maybe with the help of education and the mind of my previous life,I slowly became accustomed to the language of this world. Over time, I learned from the woman who always takes care of us, Isabella, that my name is Araya and my brother's name is Theo. Another thing I noticed is that there's a man who seems to be our father. He appears distant with Isabella, doesn't want to see our faces, and spends a very little of his time with us.
One night, after Isabella had fallen asleep in the chair from exhaustion, babysitting us, our supposed father entered our room. The smell of alcohol grew stronger the closer he came to our bed, his steps unsteady. This man was clearly not in his right mind. Even so, given the rare opportunity, I forced the best smile I could, trying to appear sympathetic to the man in front of me. But as soon as he saw our faces, his expression shifted in a way not in the direction that I had hoped.
His face twisted into a fiercer, angrier scowl as he said, "I've wished that these nightspawns were never born." I stopped making the expression; even though I didn't fully understand what nightspawns meant, his tone and expression made its meaning unmistakable.
Noticing my stillness, he turned away and walked over to Isabella. With a clank, he dropped a pouch of coins on the table beside her before leaving the room without another word.
I shifted my gaze to Theo, to think this child is unwanted by his father... but in a flash, a voice of regret from the past echoed in my mind, overlapping with the present.
"Not a single tear," Paul had spat once. "Even for our parents. Emotionless, like always."
Maybe this was a second chance to fix my mistakes from the past, a gift from the gods. I am sorry, Paul, but at the very least, I'll try to change in this life, like you always hoped.
-
Isabella woke up the next morning, feeling refreshed. "Hmm... is it already morning?" I muttered, still gathering my thoughts. My eyes landed on the pouch of coins, and instinctively, I glared at it.
"Hngghh, Leo... never wants to show his face in front of me or his children. What a failure of a father," I grumbled, picking up the pouch. I walked over to the two innocent babies sleeping peacefully in their crib.
"It's fortunate that his child looks nothing like that bastard and more like Lisa," I muttered under my breath. "To always think everything can be solved with money… Lisa would've scolded him for this if she were still here."
I sighed deeply, my heart aching. "Lisa… why did you have to climb the stairway to the stars so early, before you could see your children grow?" I whispered, a wave of sadness washing over me.
I slapped my cheeks twice. "No use staying in the past. Huff... huff... alright, time to check the diapers."