[T-minus 30 minutes until Boss Emergence]
You'd expect me to be sharpening my sword or meditating before a world-ending boss shows up, right?
Nah. I'm cooking.
Yes, cooking. Because apparently, the author thought it'd be hilarious to write me like I'm hosting a food vlog in hell.
"Hey, readers," I said, staring directly at you like you're holding a camera, "don't ask me why I'm doing this. I don't know either. Blame the author. But while we're here—welcome to Cooking with Trauma!"
I cracked my neck and pulled out what I had.
[Inventory Used – Today's Ingredients]
1x Chicken Breast (boneless, skinless—thank you, low-fat dream)
1x Clove of Garlic (because flavor is life)
1x Yellow Onion (chopped, and yeah, I cried. Fight me.)
1x Bell Pepper (sweet, red, sassy)
1x Zucchini (we're pretending I'm healthy)
2x Cherry Tomatoes (for color, and pretending this is gourmet)
Olive Oil (liquid gold)
Sea Salt & Black Pepper (basic, but necessary)
Paprika (smoky heat, just like my ex)
Dash of Lemon Juice (zesty, like my comebacks)
I drizzled olive oil into a cast-iron pan over the fire. It sizzled instantly.
"Step one," I said, raising a wooden spoon like a chef's wand, "don't panic. Step two: throw in chopped garlic and onion. Let 'em cry in the pan instead of in your heart."
The scent hit instantly—rich, warm, soul-soothing.
"Step three: chicken in. Cut into cubes, because presentation matters even when a boss is about to stomp you."
As the chicken cooked, I tossed in bell pepper, zucchini, and halved cherry tomatoes. The colors were so vibrant it looked like I was trying to summon a salad god.
"Season that beauty. Salt, pepper, paprika. Don't skimp. If you're gonna die, at least do it with seasoned meat."
The egg, sitting nearby, pulsed with joy. It was basically my sous chef now.
I added a quick splash of lemon juice to finish and stirred everything with flair like I was on a cooking show.
The scent was amazing.
Like a warm hug.
Like victory.
Like not dying today.
I plated the stir-fry on a leaf. Because, you know, medieval camping chic.
I looked at the camera again.
"There you have it, folks. Apocalypse Chicken Stir-Fry. Crunchy veggies, juicy chicken, tears of onion. We eat like kings or die trying."
The egg bounced in approval.
I sat, taking a bite.
And let out a soft, genuine sigh.
"…Damn. I'm kinda proud of this one."
Oh...I forgot the last step
I looked up at the darkening sky where the clouds began swirling.
"…Okay, now we panic."
Just as I finished licking the wooden spoon like some gourmet wildman, the familiar ding of the system popped up in front of me.
> [System Notice]
You have consumed a custom, high-quality meal.
Recipe: Apocalypse Chicken Stir-Fry (Original Creation)
Buff Gained: Warm Body, Steady Hands
+3% Stamina Regen
+2% Attack Speed
Duration: 1 Hour
I blinked. "Wait—what?"
> [System: Congratulations, Chef. Turns out seasoning does matter.]
I stared at the screen again, chewing slowly. The buff wasn't insane, but damn—it felt good.
3% stamina regen? That meant I could swing longer without getting winded like an out-of-shape gladiator. And 2% attack speed? That was like turning from casual to caffeinated swordsman.
"Yo… am I Gordon Ramslay now?"
The egg gave a happy bounce and let out a high-pitched warble that I think meant "hell yeah."
I wiped my mouth with a leaf—because apparently, I'm classy like that now—and stood up.
"Alright, boss fight. Let's dance. I'm fueled up on paprika and petty vengeance."
The clouds overhead thickened like whipped anger, lightning flashing in the distance.
The wind picked up.
The ground rumbled.
The timer hit 5 minutes.
> [System Warning: Boss Imminent.]
I cracked my neck, adjusted my grip on the sword, and looked down at my now slightly glowing fingertips.
"…Cooking gave me a combat buff. What's next, tea ceremony gives me divine crit rate?"
The egg bounced again, trying to mimic a warrior pose next to me.
And I swear—just for a second—I felt ready.
Not invincible.
But ready.
[System Alert: The Boss Has Spawned]
Deep within the forest clearing, the ground trembled—leaves shivered, birds scattered, and silence swallowed the world whole.
Then fire. A slow pulse of golden light rippled outward, cracks forming like sunlit scars in the soil.
A hulking figure rose from the glow—fur like wildfire, claws sharp as vengeance, eyes molten with hunger.
> [Name: Va'korr, the Emberfang Terror]
Classification: Apex Raid Beast
Type: [Feral Warden – Flameblood Variant]
Difficulty: [Nightmare]
Survival Rate: 3%
And then—
It vanished.
Just like that.
The players surrounding the spawn point blinked. Dozens of them stood in awe, weapons drawn, spells humming.
"Where did it go?"
"It was right there—what the hell!?"
"Did it despawn?!"
One poor soul stepped forward, searching.
SNAP.
His head was gone before his body hit the dirt.
Screams erupted. Blood sprayed the tree trunks.
The air split with a deep, rumbling growl—and Va'korr reappeared behind them, fire licking its jaws.
The raid party exploded into chaos.
"He's moving too fast!"
"Where are the rankers?!"
"HELP! He's eating through our tanks like paper!"
"Fall back—FALL BACK!"
Players ran. Others died screaming. One mage tried to cast a teleport—Va'korr's claw reached him before the spell finished.
Slash.
Ash.
Silence.
The forest began to burn. And somewhere far off, the ground shook.
The MC was still on his way.
But death had already started the party.
My blade flashed through the air, cutting a clean arc as I appeared above Va'korr's flaming mane.
"Blazing Wrath—Second Fang!" I roared, striking down with a fiery slash.
Steel met molten fur with a flash of light. The ground erupted from the force. Smoke exploded around us.
I landed in a crouch, panting—eyes locked on the monster's silhouette in the smoke.
Please tell me that did something.
The smoke cleared.
Va'korr tilted his massive head, as if confused… or amused.
My strongest skill left a scratch.
A scratch.
"…You've gotta be kidding me."
The beast's tail whipped through the air.
I barely managed to Flame Guard in time. My barrier shattered like glass, and I was launched like a ragdoll across the battlefield.
My body slammed into a burning tree.
> [-132 HP]
Coughing, I pushed myself up, blade digging into the dirt for balance.
"Alright… round two."
I dashed forward again, weaving through flaming roots and debris, using Phoenix Step to blink inches away from his leg.
Slash. Strike. Counter.
Each blow connected.
Each did nothing.
This thing was built different—its hide wasn't just armored, it was imbued with nightmare-tier resistance.
And it was fast.
Its eyes tracked me like a hunter watches a cornered animal.
I ducked a claw swipe and retaliated with a rising combo, spinning through the air with a scream.
"Inferno Carve!"
I landed the full combo—heat flaring from the blade, searing against its side.
This time… a small burn mark.
Va'korr blinked once.
Then reared up.
Its jaws opened—and flame poured out like a tsunami of hellfire.
"MOVE—!"
I leapt out just in time, cloak catching fire, half my screen blinking red.
> [System: Warning. Critical HP below 30%. Use healing item immediately.]
I tumbled into a roll, slammed a potion into my mouth mid-fall, and came up coughing, armor steaming.
It was getting stronger.
Faster.
Every minute I fought, it felt like the boss was evolving mid-fight.
"You're not just a raid boss," I muttered, wiping blood from my lip. "You're a freakin' disaster event."
I rushed again.
Not because I believed I could win.
But because this was the only way I stayed alive.
Steel screamed. Fire danced. And Va'korr didn't even look tired.
Just slightly… entertained.
Everything burned.
My lungs, my muscles, the air itself.
Va'korr loomed just meters away, flames swirling like a storm around its colossal form—its molten eyes locked on me, like I was already ash in its mouth.
I couldn't move.
The last attack had shattered my stamina. My blade was dull, hands numb. The stir fry buff? Long gone. I was seconds from becoming an extra-crispy corpse.
Then—
> [SYSTEM NOTICE]
Threat Level: Catastrophic.
Player survival rate: 0.4%
Initiating Emergency Protocol...
[Attention: A Higher Authority has taken interest in your actions.]
Classification: Outer-Tier Celestial Entity
Designation: They Who Yeet Stars
OFFER: This being offers you a single-use contract in exchange for a portion of your remaining vitality and future favor.
REWARD: One Skill – [Unnamed – Classified as Divine Impact-Type]
WARNING: This is a one-time ability. Usage will severely injure the body and result in temporary debilitation.
Do you accept?
I stared at the glowing prompt, blood trailing from the corner of my mouth.
"…I don't suppose you have something less dramatic?" I muttered.
No answer.
I exhaled, jaw clenched, and tapped [Accept].
> [Contract Accepted]
[Divine Permission Granted]
Skill Acquired: [Celestial Severance]
Effect: Delivers a devastating slash imbued with stellar force. Ignores 60% of defense. Massive damage. One use only.
The world slowed.
A soft pressure surrounded me—light and gravity warping around the sword in my hand, forging it anew from pure starfire. The blade gleamed like the edge of a god's fury.
Va'korr must've sensed it. Its massive frame shifted, muscles coiling to charge me down and end this before it began.
I inhaled, steadying the surge of divine heat screaming in my veins.
"No pressure," I whispered to myself, "just got a flaming god watching me and no second try."
Va'korr lunged.
I moved first.
The blade cut the air with a scream of light.
"—Fall."
The slash hit Va'korr dead center—splitting its armored hide open with a roar of rupturing flame and light. The force tore through the forest behind it, turning trees to splinters and dirt to glass.
Va'korr howled. Not in anger.
In pain.
Smoke gushed from the gash along its side. Lava-like blood hissed as it splashed onto the ground.
And then… it retreated.
The Emberfang Terror—Apex Boss, Nightmare-class—turned and vanished into the smoke like a beast wounded and afraid.
I dropped to one knee, the divine blade crumbling into stardust in my hands.
> [System Notice: Celestial Severance Expended]
[Injury Level: High – Muscle damage, spiritual fatigue]
[Mobility: Reduced]
[You have 12 minutes before full collapse]
I coughed, barely holding myself up.
"…They Who Yeet Stars, huh," I muttered.
" tch. Bet their special move is called Supernova No Jutsu."With a name like that, I'm 90% sure they peaked in divine high school.
The system stayed silent.
I smirked anyway, breathing through the burn. "Tell 'em thanks... but next time, send two slashes."
Then I fell forward onto the scorched earth, the roar of distant battle fading into static.
Morning—8:32am
Pain.
My body felt like it had been steamrolled by a flaming truck.
Everything ached. My limbs were sore, my chest burned, and I was pretty sure my ribs were on strike.
Then something licked my cheek.
I groaned, cracking my eyes open. Blinding light filtered through the treetops. The last thing I remembered was slashing Va'korr with the god-blessed skill and—
Lick.
"What the—"
I blinked—and found a small white fox staring at me, perched on my chest like it owned the place. Its fur shimmered faintly in the light, impossibly clean despite the scorched earth around us. Three elegant tails flicked behind it in slow rhythm. Its silver eyes looked straight through me.
"…Am I dead?" I croaked. "Is this your version of heaven? Getting licked awake by a magical fluffball?"
The fox tilted its head. Then, without hesitation, booped my nose with its paw.
I stared.
And then, my inventory pouch twitched.
[feels a sharp pulse from the pouch]
"Oh no. The Egg is angry. Quick—everyone act impressed before it starts glowing out of spite again."
[Egg glows aggressively. A tiny crackle of divine static hisses out.]
MC:
"Did you just fizz at me? What are you, carbonated now?"
[The egg bumps into their chest, spinning slowly like a vengeful top.]
MC:
"Wow. Real intimidating. What's next? You gonna roll menacingly at someone's ankle?"
[Egg sends a psychic image: the MC being crushed by an egg ten times its size.]
MC: deadpan
"Please. You can't even crack yourself. You expect me to believe you'd crack me?"
[Egg glows a furious pink. A faint squeak, like a rubber duck being disrespected.]
MC:
"You're literally one temper tantrum away from being fried over toast. Calm down, Lord Wigglesworth."
[Egg flares, hovers up, then bonks MC lightly on the forehead.]
MC:
"Ow. Assaulted by breakfast. What an honor."
[Egg pulses again. Glows bright white for half a second—dramatic, holy music plays faintly from nowhere.]
MC:
"Stop trying to act divine. You look like a holy ping-pong ball with an attitude problem."
[Egg sulks. Small swirl of mist, then it turns away like it's done.]
MC:
"Oh, we're doing drama now? The cold shoulder from the literal egg. How will I ever recover."
[Egg floats in, all smug and glowing like it just solved world hunger.]
MC (squints):
"Bro… why you floatin' in like you just won an Oscar? Ain't nobody clappin'. You still an egg."
[Egg buzzes.]
MC:
"Oh snap, it's vibrating. Everybody run! The cosmic Tamagotchi is angry again!"
[Egg starts spinning like it means business.]
MC (pointing):
"You spinning? That's your move? You out here Beyblading with divine insecurity?"
[Egg tries to tackle.]
MC sidesteps:
"Bro really thought he could body slam. You ain't Goku—you're Go-Kart."
[Egg shakes harder.]
MC (laughing):
"You vibrating like a broken phone on silent. You mad or just buffering?"
A FEW MOMENTS LATER...
The soft weight of the fox settled beside me again, warm and quiet against my leg.
The egg in my inventory gave another subtle wobble—less angry this time, more… curious. Watching.
I looked at the shimmering creature next to me—its silvery fur glowed faintly in the dappled light, tails flicking gently. There was no hostility in its eyes. Just quiet hope.
> [Unbonded Familiar – Arcane Frosttail]
Status: Hatched prematurely, ownerless since birth.
Origin: Tossed during an emergency battle.
Condition: Searching for compatible soul-link.
Emotional Bond: Forming...
I sat up a little straighter.
"So you were hatched from an egg too, huh?" I murmured. "Thrown out in chaos... like a star with no sky."
The fox lifted its gaze to me—bright, intelligent, but laced with something deeper. Something sad.
"You've been alone since the beginning. Just looking for someone to belong to."
The way it pressed gently against my side, I already knew its answer.
I hesitated, then slowly raised a hand. "Well... if you want, I won't toss you away."
The fox bumped its head into my palm, and I swore I felt a tiny surge of warmth pulse up my arm.
> [Bond Accepted]
[Name Your Familiar]
A prompt hovered before me, waiting.
I looked into those silver eyes and smiled. "You need a name... something beautiful. You deserve that much."
I thought for a moment, then said, softly, "How about Yuna?"
The fox's ears perked. It let out a gentle sound—almost like a soft chime—and rubbed its cheek against my hand.
> [Familiar Name Confirmed: Yuna]
[Bond Level 1 Established – Arcane Link Active]
Yuna. A name like moonlight. Fitting for a creature born in silence, and forged by survival.
I leaned back with a sigh, my fingers resting in her fur. "Welcome to the party, Yuna. You're stuck with me now."
The egg twitched in my pouch again, noticeably softer this time.
"Oh don't start sulking," I said, smirking. "I'm sure you'll hatch soon too."
Yuna curled beside me, her tails wrapping around like a gentle shield.
For the first time since the nightmare battle, I didn't feel completely alone.
And somewhere in the ashes of loss and fire... something new had begun.
Something shifted.
A chill that didn't belong. A presence, just outside the edge of knowing.
From the shadows, she watched—silent, unseen.
Then, with a voice like velvet and wildfire, she whispered—
"Found you, sugar—and you're weirder than I hoped."