Milo's eyes snapped open, his body jerking upward as if he had been struck by lightning. But instead of landing hard on the cold, unforgiving floor of his apartment, he sank into something soft and squishy. The moss beneath him was warm and inviting, like a blanket made out of nature itself. He blinked rapidly, trying to make sense of the bizarre scene before him.
Where was he?
He was no longer in his apartment. In fact, he wasn't even on Earth—he could tell that much. His surroundings were a dense, glowing forest. The trees stretched impossibly high into a swirling sky that changed colors with every blink, from a gentle pink to a deep blue, and then, for reasons unknown, to neon green. It was like someone had taken a paintbrush and decided to give the sky a new coat every couple of seconds. The air was thick with mystery—or maybe just the overwhelming scent of wet moss and some kind of weird floral perfume that didn't exist in the real world.
Milo groaned, his brain still fuzzy from his recent slapstick entrance into this... whatever this was. The last thing he remembered was tripping over his shoelaces, falling into a rift in reality, and—
"Oh, right," he muttered. "I'm dead."
He sat up with all the grace of a confused toddler, looking around. "This is... not what I was expecting."
Before he could gather his bearings, a calm, unnervingly polite voice echoed inside his head.
[i.d.e.a.l.]: "Welcome to the Dream World, Milo. I am [i.d.e.a.l.], your personal system interface. Congratulations. You've been selected for a very important mission."
Milo froze, his eyes darting around for the source of the voice. There was no one in sight. No creepy AI robot. No floating hologram. Just the bizarre forest, which was really starting to freak him out.
"What? Am I dead? Is this... some sort of weird afterlife?" Milo asked, trying to keep his voice steady. He wasn't sure what he expected, but this definitely wasn't it.
[i.d.e.a.l.]: "Technically, yes. But that's not really the point. You'll get used to it... eventually. I'll guide you through everything, so don't worry."
Milo buried his face in his hands for a moment. "Right. Of course. I get dragged into some weird, trippy dream world and now I'm supposed to restore balance or whatever. No big deal. This is my life now, apparently."
[i.d.e.a.l.]: "Exactly. Now, let's get you started, shall we?"
Milo slowly stood up, trying to shake off the feeling that he had somehow stumbled into an acid trip that was far too advanced for his brain to handle. As he took a step, his foot felt... off. For a split second, it felt like he was walking on the ceiling, as if gravity itself had decided to take a holiday. He yelped, flailing his arms for balance, before his feet returned to the ground with a soft thud.
"Okay. This is definitely not normal." He gave himself a once-over, checking for any signs of normalcy. None. In fact, nothing here was normal. The air itself felt too thick, like he was breathing in syrup. The trees—if they could even be called trees—were absurdly tall, their trunks spiraling like twisting candy canes. Every time he looked up, the colors in the sky would change again. Pink. Green. Neon orange. Whatever.
And then, as if this dream wasn't bizarre enough, a butterfly floated by. But this wasn't a normal butterfly. Oh no. Instead of wings, it had tiny, wiggling hands that waved at him.
Milo blinked twice, unsure whether he should scream, laugh, or cry. He opted for a horrified laugh that sounded more like a strangled sob.
"Okay. Cool. I've lost my mind. I'm in some... weird dream world where butterflies have hands." Milo couldn't help but pinch his arm, the universal sign for "this can't be real."
As if the universe had decided to humor him, a small pop rang through the air. And suddenly, a bright, colorful balloon floated up from his chest. On it, in neon letters, were the words: You're not dreaming.
"Great. Perfect. What a wonderful little confirmation." Milo sighed, rubbing his temples. "I just need to stay calm. This is fine. Totally normal. I'm just... in a forest full of... animated oddities. Nothing to worry about."
He began walking again, trying to ignore the absurdity of it all. The more he moved, the weirder things got.
Suddenly, a giant mushroom appeared in front of him, wearing a monocle and a bowtie. Yes. A mushroom. The mushroom cleared its throat, puffed out its chest, and said in a very dignified voice:
"Ah, traveler! Welcome to the Dream World! Might I advise you, as a humble mushroom of great experience, to avoid stepping on any invisible catnip? It's quite... pungent."
Milo stared at the mushroom for a moment before muttering to himself, "Invisible catnip. Of course."
He turned around and started walking again, trying to escape the sentient fungus, when another strange creature appeared—a floating dragon, except this dragon was... wearing an afro.
"Yo, my dude!" the dragon said, doing a casual flip in the air. "I've got some ancient relics I'm looking to sell. Real high-quality stuff—like this keychain. It's definitely magic."
Milo couldn't even begin to process the absurdity of what was happening. "Right. Magic keychains. Classic. This is definitely a normal day."
As he walked deeper into the forest, more ridiculous creatures started appearing—each one more bizarre than the last. A talking tree that only spoke in riddles, a snail with an attitude problem, and even a cloud that looked suspiciously like a floating hot dog.
Milo's head was spinning. "Yep, this is it. The rest of my life. In a surreal forest of insanity. Wonderful.