The Citadel
There's a simple rule of thumb you need to know about the Citadel. The high levels are for the movers and the shakers. The lower levels are for the rest. You either need to be famous on a galactic scale, have a seven figure bank account or at least know the people who do to walk the upper levels of the Citadel.
Seeing as how I qualified on the first two criteria, I was free to go wherever I pleased. After we'd survived the hell that was the Collector base, I made a beeline for the Citadel.
As insane as it sounded, we had succeeded in our mission to blow up the Collectors, and came out more or less unharmed. Every specialist I recruited had made it through alive. We'd even managed to rescue most of the Normandy crew before they were broken down into raw sludge to build the next Reaper.
I had given the order to enter the Omega 4 Relay with the eternal soldier's hope (or marine's) pounding in my heart. No one left behind. And by some miracle, we had done it.
Things were a little different since the last time I'd succeeded in saving the galaxy, however. For one thing our mission didn't take place at the galactic capital, recorded by millions of news cameras to beam the breathtaking events directly onto the extranet.
The Collector mission was real down and dirty black ops classified records stuff, and it mostly dealt with human colonies. Turns out the rest of the galaxy doesn't really care, as long as it's not their own species being vaporised.
I wasn't expecting any big celebration. I was still persona non grata with the Alliance, and I figured the Illusive Man had already placed a titanic contract on my head because I might have ticked him off just a little.
As in, telling him to go fuck himself and blowing up the station full of wonderful Reaper tech and toys that, had he been given access, would have allowed him to grab the rest of the galaxy by the balls. I got the feeling the Illusive Man was precisely the kind of guy who got mad if he wasn't allowed to grab someone by the balls.
So there I was, between a rock and a hard place, walking a tightrope, cast out into the cold, with every hand turned against me. It was a little disconcerting, to tell you the truth. I was leading life on the flip side for once. I was learning what it was like to be hated and feared, and distrusted everywhere I went.
In fact, I was learning what it felt like to be her.
Despite their earlier misgivings the Council had reinstated me as a Spectre, and I had to at least try to warn them about the coming invasion. Anderson deserved a report as well, not because he was my former officer or a Councillor, but because he was my friend.
I had important things to do and important people to see. But first, I had something even more important to do, something that came even before a top secret meeting with the galactic council representatives.
I was lounging in an armchair in my cabin, listening to some music with my omni-tool. Jacob had kindly provided me with some experimental human rap/hip-hop fused with asari string and turian beats, and it was pounding my eardrums something fierce. A shadow fell over my lowered head and I looked up, switching off the tool.
"So? What do you think?" Jackie asked, almost nervously.
Here's what you need to know about Jackie. I'll give you the summarised version.
Appearance: Short, slim, bald human woman. Small chest, a cute rear despite her narrow hips (compared to Miranda at least, but for the love of God don't tell her I said that). Ridiculously attractive. Every inch of available skin covered with tattoos.
History: Abducted by Cerberus as a young girl, experimented upon to create the ultimate human biotic. Suffered prolonged mental and physical torture, broke out and embarked upon a life of crime before being captured and running into me.
Body Count: In the quadruple digits.
Language: Foul. Has learnt the most profane curse of almost every language spoken in Citadel space.
Personality: Acerbic, acidic, biting, cutting, prickly, a total bitch. Doesn't like people, or animals, or vegetables and minerals while you're at it. Her idea of a good time is to go thresher maw hunting. Merely wishing her a good morning when she was not in the mood is enough to put you on her kill list.
Name: After arguing about nomenclature, she reluctantly agreed to be called Jackie so as to avoid confusion. I would keep my nickname of 'Jack' that only the people closest to me used.
But the thing about Jackie...the most important thing you need to know about Jackie...is that I'm in love with her.
She had tried on about a dozen different outfits while I sat in the chair, bored out of my mind. The asari sales assistants had nervously retreated to the far corner of the shop, and were glancing at us whenever they dared.
They were used to attending to rich old ladies and rich young girls and their equally rich husbands and boyfriends, not an ex-con and a disgraced Spectre. Only by being my most charming did I manage to persuade them not to call C-Sec when Jackie barged in, and started lifting things off the rack without so much as a word.
She was wearing tight blue jeans, which I liked because it showed off her ass pretty nicely. Hell, what could I say. Matriarch Aethyta and I shared the same tastes. The jeans were cinched with a big black belt and had kneepads and straps all the way to the boots, which were big, heavy-duty, steel-shod affairs. Those boots weren't made for walking, they were made for maiming. Jack could walk through lava and out the other side unscathed.
Further up she was wearing a tight black tank top that showed off her flat, toned, inked-all-over midriff. Over that she had thrown on a little vest / jacket combo that she'd left unzipped. Black, of course. She had black armbands on her right arm, and a glove that extended all the way up to her elbow. Curiously enough, there wasn't a matching set on her left arm. To complete the look she had a black choker around her neck, and mirrored shades.
"Well?" she demanded, a little self-consciously.
"Hmm. Turn around," I said.
"What? Why?"
"Just do it, would you?"
Jackie frowned, but did so anyway. The old Jackie wouldn't have thought twice about ripping off my head with her biotics. We were making progress. I kept silent, taking in every detail.
"What the hell are you looking at?" she asked at last.
"I was right," I said, with considerable satisfaction. "Your ass really looks amazing in those jeans."
Jackie flew at me with a roar and I toppled backwards in my armchair with a crash, laughing hysterically. She pummelled me with her fists, but she wasn't really used to fighting hand to hand and I caught her wrists easily. She stared into my eyes and finally, cracked a grin.
"Dumbass," she said.
"I thought we weren't going to be one of those couples with the unbearably cute names for each other."
"Jack, one more word outta you and I rip your head off."
"That would be a severe drawback," I said.
"For you, definitely," she said.
"Nah. For you. Because then I wouldn't be able to do this."
I tilted my head up a little and gave her a kiss. She returned it and soon we were making out like a couple of teenagers on the floor.
"Um, excuse me?"
It was one of the asari sales assistants, having evidently been urged to interrupt our impromptu liplock session by her colleagues, who were hovering in the background. We both turned our heads to look at her.
"Are you...satisfied with your selections, miss?"
"Well I was going to ask the jackass his opinion, but he can't control his damn mouth for two damn seconds. It's like a mental illness."
"Hey, I said I liked it," I said mildly.
"No you didn't. You totally perved on me, you fucker. I'm still going to kick your ass."
"Alright. I like it a lot. You look really, really cool. Like sort of underground punk whatever."
Jackie looked at me pityingly. "Is that the best you can come up with?"
"Yeah, pretty much. Unless I can check out your ass again."
"Not an option!"
"Then I'm out of compliments," I said.
Jackie got up and brushed herself off. "I think it's awesome anyway. I'll take it."
"You will? I mean, wonderful. How would you like to pay?" the assistant enquired.
"Hell if I know. Never exactly paid for things before. Ask Spectre Shepard, he's got the cash."
The sales assistants looked at me again. Then realisation hit them.
"Shepard? You're the Shepard!" one of them gushed.
"That's me," I said affably.
"I didn't know you were still alive!"
"We thought you died fighting the geth!"
"Off the mark. I'm back now. Just off to talk to the Council. Classified stuff, very hush hush," I said, putting a finger to my lips.
The asari exchanged various thrilled glances. Then one of them led me to the front of the store, where there was a little datapad.
"Could you record an advertisement for us, sir? We would be happy to give you a discount now and for future purchases."
"I don't think so -"
"Here's the bill, by the way," said one of the assistants, presenting it to me.
"- ah. Hmm. That's quite a sum."
"We offer nothing but top quality garments."
I wanted to give Jackie a reproachful look, but she had already left the store.
"Alright, alright, I'll do it. How do I...speak into this thing? Okay. Ahem. I'm Commander Shepard, and this is my favourite store in the Citadel."
The asari pressed a button and smiled. "Got it. Thank you so much, Commander. I hope you'll visit us again soon."
"A pleasure," I said, my voice somewhat muffled by the armloads of bags.
"I'm impressed, Commander Shepard," said another assistant, a salarian. "Not many people would spend so much on just a few outfits."
"Hell, you know how it is. Boyfriends are boyfriends whether you're human, turian or salarian eh?"
"So, she is your girlfriend?" he asked. "Forgive me for being forward sir, but she seemed a little...forthright."
"So she is. Our relationship's kinda problematic. But what love ain't?" Smiling to myself, I walked out of the store.
"Hey wait up! Slow down, Jackie," I called.
She turned around, and smiled. I must have looked pretty stupid trying to balance all the bags and boxes on top of each other while running. I transferred all of them to my left hand so I could hold her hand with my right.
Jackie had this really, really amazing smile that I loved to see. It seemed to light up her whole face, softening her usually harsh expression and demeanour into something warm and attractive. The great thing was that she was doing it more and more, in the last few days we had spent together.
We hadn't had much time to ourselves, between making emergency repairs to the Normandy and plotting a course for the Citadel. An hour or two, snatched when we should have been working on the hull. Eating a meal together with the rest of the guys.
Jackie had gotten better about social contact. She still didn't like to start conversations, and her personal space radiated several miles from her actual position, but at least she could eat in the presence of others as long as I was there. I wanted her to eventually do the same even if I wasn't around.
When we were alone however, we never actually seemed to do much. Jackie was still uncertain about the subject of sex. I understood, realising sex had been used as a weapon against her so many times it had lost all meaning for her. I told her I was willing to wait until she was completely ready, whenever that may be. Even if it was never.
Yet I enjoyed our time together. Jackie curled up in my lap, my arms around her, cuddling close. Sometimes we talked, but we were just as likely to sit in silence, enjoying each other's warmth and company. Sure the outside world had problems aplenty, but they didn't seem quite so urgent when we were together.
It gave me the chance to rest my tired mind and battered body, and just take in the silence and the peace. As for Jackie, I think she liked being able to relax in one place without worrying if someone was going to hurt her. Because now I was there by her side, and anyone who wanted to do that was going to have to go through me first.
Still, I had promised her a real date, once we'd reached the Citadel. A nice, normal outing. Not to say that our first date hadn't been a major success. It had taken place on the Collector station and we blew up the nasty bugs side by side. That was going to be tough to top, but I wanted to give it a shot.
"This is different," she said, holding my hand and walking with me. To any observer we would have looked like just another human couple taking a stroll around the Presidium's Market District. I liked that. Our lives were by no means normal, and it was important to have some of it now and again.
"Is different good?"
"I – yeah. I suppose," she said, hesitantly.
"How exactly?" I asked. I wanted her to be more comfortable about discussing her feelings.
"For instance, I wouldn't have paid for these," she said, gesturing to her new clothes. "Used to be I'd just take what I wanted and run."
"But then you wouldn't get to walk with me afterwards," I said. "We'd have to run and hide from C-Sec."
"Why do we have to hide? Why can't we fight?" she asked.
"Because that's what we did on our last date, and I want this one to be different."
Jackie laughed. Again, this was something she didn't do often, and was slowly beginning to change. Before, she had always laughed sarcastically, or in a frenzy as she tore Collectors apart with the force of her biotics. It was encouraging to know she was still capable of doing something nice and normal like laughing.
"We've got the whole day to ourselves, right?"
"Yeah," I confirmed.
The fate of the galaxy could wait. The four most politically important people in the galaxy could wait. I was going to show my girl a good time.
We wandered slowly down the walkway, taking in the sights. The Presidium always put me in mind of one of Earth's richest cities, like Kolkata or Addis Ababa. Clean air, flowing water, everything gleaming and sparkling and clean as a whistle wherever you looked. Trees planted in orderly rows, people walking sedately down the carefully arranged paths. The Presidium was the very symbol of the Citadel's commitment to order and civility.
As we passed by several people, it seemed to me as though they quickly hushed their voices and hurried on, looking back at us over their shoulders. I felt my heart sink. According to Anderson the Council had done their best to portray me as some kind of deluded maniac in the two years following my death. Things couldn't have gotten better once they had learned of my connections to Cerberus.
I hadn't been paying much attention to the news. I got the feeling that if I did I'd just end up feeling impotently furious at the way the networks and media corporations have been tearing down my name. I wasn't the Saviour of the Citadel any more, just another deranged individual. Two years was a long time in politics, and it was child's play to turn the galaxy's greatest hero into its next big joke.
Jackie must have noticed how restless I'd gotten, because she gave my hand an extra squeeze. Without saying a word, she drifted a little closer to me.
"Let's get out of here," she said to me.
"Exactly what I was thinking."
I led her over to a restaurant that I knew well from the previous times I'd been to the Citadel. It was a quiet, out of the way place, not too pricey and it specialised in Earth recipes. I ordered an ice tea. Jackie wanted every appetiser on the menu plus two main dishes. Biotics tended to be able to eat more than they weighed.
"Is it always this difficult?" I asked, rattling the ice in my glass.
"What is?"
"Being hated. Being feared. Having people look at you like some kind of criminal."
Jackie looked puzzled. "I'm not the best person to answer that, Jack."
"I would have thought you'd be familiar with it," I said.
"Yeah, but for me I grew up with it. Every single day. There never was a fucking time when I wasn't hated and feared. I never had to deal with what you're going through."
That was oddly perceptive, coming from Jackie. "Huh. You're right. I didn't think about it that way."
"Y'see Jack, it got to the point where I couldn't give a fuck what anyone thought of me. All I cared about was whether they were going to kill me or if I was going to kill them."
"It's a little jarring for me," I said, after taking a sip of tea.
"Of course it is," said Jackie. "Be honest now – you've been popular your entire life, haven't you?"
"Well I -"
"Don't lie to me, Jack."
"I won't," I said.
"Popular kid? Prom king?"
"...yeah."
"I bet you were the same in the military as well."
"Yeah. I was always the guy everyone was friends with. Won the best cadet award and everything."
"There you go," said Jackie. "Hero of the Skyllian Blitz, hero of the Citadel...you were a walking god. Hell even I didn't think you were full of shit when I saw you on those vids. There was something about the way you talked. People knew you were genuine."
"You've seen me before?"
"How could I not? Your big shit-eating grin was plastered all over the extranet after you blew up that Reaper."
"Really. So, what was your first impression of me?"
Jackie laughed. "That you were too good to be true...but somehow you turned out to be exactly as you seemed. I don't know, Jack. Something about you makes people want to trust you. You were born for politics."
"So how come no one trusts me now?" I asked, feeling a little deflated.
"You should know better," said Jackie dismissively, starting on her first appetiser. "The media panders to the lowest common denominator, the fucking idiots. It suited them to build you up while you were alive. Then it suited them to tear you down after you wouldn't shut up about the Reapers."
"It always comes down to the Reapers. Why can't people just open their eyes?"
"Because they're fucking idiots. It doesn't suit them to believe in outer space monsters coming to eat their families. They want to believe that everything's going to be just fine. So they're going to ignore everything that doesn't fit into their little bubble, even if it's someone like you saying it."
I finished my drink. "It just feels weird not being taken seriously. I've had people listen to me all my life."
"Welcome to my world," said Jackie, without much sympathy. "I've been hunted and hated pretty much my entire life. You haven't. You'll have to get used to it."
"Then I guess you'll have to teach me how."
I sat back and watched as Jackie continued to eat steadily, packing away food that would have choked men twice her size. I thought about what she said. We were two of a kind now. No one in the galaxy to depend on but each other.
Somehow I had to change the tide of galactic opinion, convince the Council to listen to me, and prepare the verse for an invasion they did not believe in. All the while running from possible assassination attempts from Cerberus, from the Shadow Broker, maybe even from the Alliance. I couldn't trust anyone now.
But I still had the crew. And I still had my ship. That was all I needed. Also, I had Jackie. She would do anything for me because I would do anything for her. One lonely little couple in a hostile galaxy.
It was then I realised I wouldn't have it any other goddamn way.
"Commander Shepard. So the the tip was right after all."
I looked to see who had spoken, and my lip curled in an instinctive display of revulsion. It was a tall, dark woman, with black hair that ended in a professional cut level with her chin. But what caught my attention was the little floating camera drone by her side.
"Khalisah binte Al-Jailani," I said, with just a hint of a sneer in my voice.
"So the rumours were true. You're not dead."
"Sorry to disappoint." I was once again fighting the urge to knock out the reporter with one swing of my fist, just like the other two times I had ran into her. I stayed my arm though. Call it a moral high ground thing, or call me a pussy if you like. I wouldn't hit an unarmed woman for doing her job. Even if that job entailed slander.
"Commander," she said, her voice sounding more professional. The camera drone was shining a light directly in my face and I knew my words were being recorded. "Do you still stand by these statements you made of a 'Reaper' invasion?"
"Yes," I said, through gritted teeth. She had said the word 'Reaper' in a deliberately exaggerated manner, no doubt doing her best to make me look like a fool. In my mind's eye I saw millions of viewers laughing fit to burst at me and I silently cursed them all.
"Despite countless experts and scientists giving testimony to the fact that the so-called Reaper attack was actually a geth warship?"
"Sovereign was a Reaper. The galaxy needs to prepare itself for the threat of invasion."
"Without evidence? Are we supposed to just take your words at face value, Commander Shepard?"
I glared at her. "I will be presenting my findings to the Council later -"
"And what about these serious allegations that you have links to the infamous terrorist cell, Cerberus?"
"I'm not -"
"The extremist organisation involved in illegal experiments and acts of violence?"
"I've never -"
"What do you have to say about your dishonourable discharge from the Humanity Systems Alliance Marine Corps?"
My eyes widened. I hadn't heard anything about a dishonourable discharge!
"What?"
"Do you mean you know nothing about this, Commander?"
"I...I..."
"It seems a shameful end to a once glorious career. First being kicked out of the Spectres, and now even from the human military. Do you have any thoughts on – ARGH!"
Khalisah was rudely interrupted in the middle of her tirade, thanks to Jackie. She had jumped out of her chair, overturned the table sending plates and glasses and food crashing everywhere, and had one hand wrapped around the reporter's throat.
Even though Khalisah was bigger than Jackie, my little hellraiser was lifting her off the ground due to the strength of her biotic powers.
"Say one more word bitch, and I snap your neck," snarled Jackie. Khalisah struggled, pulling at Jackie's arm with both hands, but it was futile. The camera drone had swung away from me and was now busily recording the scene.
"No!" I yelled. If Jackie murdered Khalisah we wouldn't get two steps before being gunned down by C-Sec. I rushed to her side and tried to pull her away. "Let go!"
Jackie faced me, eyes blazing. "What the fuck's wrong with you, Jack? She's been twisting everything you said! Let me kill her!"
"You can't do that! Let her go now!"
I tried to prise open Jackie's grip. She wasn't expecting me to intervene and let go suddenly. Khalisah dropped to the floor and wheezed in pain.
"Don't you ever tell me what I can or can't do!" Jackie yelled at me.
"Are you out of your goddamn mind?! You can't just kill someone on the Presidium!"
"Nice little girlfriend you've got there, Shepard," said Khalisah malevolently, still rubbing her neck. "I seem to remember you taking another girl to this very same restaurant the last time you were here? Chief Ashley Williams?"
Jackie took a step backwards. "You brought your girl here? This was her place?"
"What are you talking about, of course I know -"
"You were with her here, and you still brought me here?" She turned on her heel and stormed off. I started to go after her.
"Jackie, wait!"
"Fuck off!"
I stopped and watched her go, arms hanging limply by my side. I felt as though someone had kicked me in the gut.
Khalisah muttered something, and her camera drone switched off its light. Her eyes were glowing with happiness. I'd just handed her the scoop of the century.
"Thank you very much, Commander," she said sweetly.
My fists clenched involuntarily. My nostrils were flaring and my breath was coming in short, sharp bursts. Just one punch...
But I couldn't.
Khalisah was watching me carefully, as though she knew what was going through in my mind. She snorted like she wasn't impressed with me.
"Go ahead, Shepard. Hit me. I swear, you'll never live it down. I'll drag your name through the mud so deep no one will give a shit about your past heroics," she said softly. Smugly.
Hey wait, there was something I could do.
I whipped out my sidearm and before Khalisah could do so much as blink I fired at the camera drone. It blew up, sending circuitry and bits of metal everywhere. Then I tapped my Omni-tool and contacted the C-Sec office.
"This is C-Sec."
"Shepard here. I've got a suspect in custody. Send an officer down to arrest her and bring her to the cells."
"Certainly, Spectre Shepard," answered the officer on the other end of the line. Khalisah looked like she'd seen a ghost.
"But – but – you're no longer a Spectre!"
"Guess again." Off in the distance I could see two officers hurrying towards us, a pair of turians. C-Sec worked fast these days.
"You're arresting me?"
"Damn straight."
"What for? Hey, get your filthy hands off me, you pigs!" she screamed, as the officers tried to restrain her.
"Oh I don't know. I'll think of something. I'll come down to interrogate you later. When I feel like it," I called, watching her being dragged away kicking and screaming.
I knew she would be out again in a few hours, as soon as she could contact her lawyer. But the Spectres were a law unto themselves. The last legal suit to be successfully tried against the Spectres happened over five hundred years ago, and the lawyer in question committed suicide a month later.
I smiled at the thought, which quickly faded. If only other things were as easy to handle.
Sighing I paid the bill, plus extra for the damaged furniture and crockery, and lugged the shopping all the way back to the Normandy's docking bay. Alone.