What do you even say to someone who can't hear you anymore?
Do you apologize? Even if you don't know what you're apologizing for? Do you explain yourself, even though… maybe if you had just been honest, they might have understood?
Or do you just stand there like an idiot, hoping that silence can somehow make up for things you couldn't say when it mattered?
And maybe that's the part no one ever teaches you – how to live with the things that will always feel Incomplete and with a silence that was never meant to be the last word.
Riiiiiing! Riiiiiing!
The chime of a bicycle bell snaps Hikigaya out of his thoughts. He looks up to find a grave before him, a strange feeling settling in—like waking from a dream that lasted forever.
Hikigaya blinked, snapping out of the haze, and turned toward the sound. Komachi was nearby, sitting on his bike with an impatient look. In her loud, cheerful voice, she called out to him.
"Oi, Onii-chan! Hurry up, or you're going to be late! For the train" Komachi's voice rang out, sharp and impatient. "Don't make me come over there and drag you myself!" she added, her tone growing louder and more dramatic with every word.
Hikigaya sighs, pressing a hand to his forehead before looking down one last time. His fingers brush lightly over the stone's surface, the chill biting at his skin. There's nothing left to say.
He crouched, carefully placing daisies and white lilies on the grave they were simple flowers. Nothing too fancy, just a heartfelt gesture.
"I won't be able to come here for the next three years. Not that it really matters—it's not like anything will change," he whispered, his voice carrying a quiet sadness. He paused. The words caught in his throat. "But still, I… no, never mind," he murmured, the hesitation weighed heavy with unspoken feelings.
After a brief silence, he added, softer this time, "Wherever you are, I hope you've found peace." His voice wavered, as though speaking the words out loud made them more real.
Standing up slowly, he cast one last glance at the grave before turning away. Without looking back, he walked toward the road, where Komachi waited, seated on his old bike. She watched him approach with an air of quiet understanding.
"Man, you're so slow Onii-chan," Komachi said, tilting her head while perched on the backseat. She jabbed him in the back playfully. "Even grandpas on rusty old bikes pedal faster than you!"
"Give me a break already Komachi." Hikigaya sighed as he increased the pace and continued "You were literally ringing that bell like one of those crazy Ice cream vendors. Around neighborhood" Hikigaya said, adjusting the bag slung over his shoulder. "Do you want to announce our location to every person within a two-kilometre radius too?"
"I don't need to do that—you've already turned enough heads with that uniform of yours," Komachi said, a hint of pride in her voice. She smirked and added, "I mean, it's not every day you see someone in an ANHS uniform around a quiet, dull place like Chiba every day."
Hikigaya frowned and glanced down. The school's crimson blazer with golden linings felt brighter and more eye-catching than he had anticipated, making him stand out a bit too much for his liking.
"Tch… It's not like I didn't notice it before. I just chose to ignore it. But now it's getting unbearable. Whoever designed this thing needs to be fired—I feel like a walking highlighter," Hikigaya muttered in frustration. Being someone accustomed to fading into the background, he was hypersensitive to people's gazes. His negligible presence usually shielded him from attention, but now he could distinctly sense a few heads turning as he passed by, their curiosity drawn to the glaring uniform he wore.
"I Dunno, it's kinda funny," she grinned. "You, the super loner guy, wearing this fancy bright uniform. It's like putting a hoodie on a cat."
Hikigaya snorted, not bothering to argue.
"And don't think I didn't hear you saying bad stuff about Chiba earlier, you brat." He puffed up a little, pretending to sound proud. "Chiba is the best prefecture in Japan, okay? It has Max Coffee—the best drink ever. It's got Saizeriya—the best place to eat. And don't forget Destinyland on top of that. Chiba also…"
But before he could keep going, Komachi cut him off with a loud, dramatic sigh.
"There you go again, rambling about your weird love for Chiba and Max-coffee," she said, shaking her head. "Seriously, Onii-chan, you're starting to sound super creepy. And that smile? Don't show it to anyone else. You might actually get arrested."
Hikigaya rolled his eyes but couldn't hide the small smile tugging at his lips and he looked back at her with his deadpan fishy eyes and muttered "you insult Chiba and Max Coffee one more time again, and I'm revoking all your little sister privileges."
Komachi rolled her eyes and grinned. "Wow, you really are loyal to that sugar trap and your lame hometown Onii-chan."
He tone nonchalant but firm. "Chiba raised me. Max Coffee made me. It's just as simple as that."
She snorted, shaking her head with amusement. "Honestly, that explains a lot about why you turned out this way. No wonder you're a weirdo Onii-chan."
Hikigaya scoffed lightly. "Tch. Kids these days have no sense of taste. Someday, when you've matured, you'll understand the true greatness of Max Coffee."
Komachi raised an eyebrow, pretending to gag. "Yeah, sure. The day I drink that sugar bomb and don't feel my soul leave my body, I'll let you know."
They both laughed, and the station comes into view, and as Hikigaya parks his bicycle, he turns dramatically to Komachi, placing a hand on the worn-out handlebars as if saying goodbye to an old friend.
He gave the seat one last pat, then turned to her with a half-smile. "Take care of it, alright? It's been my loyal steed since elementary school."
Komachi crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow. "No way. Your bike's way too lame. I'm gonna sell this thing and buy a new one the moment you're gone."
He stared at her in disbelief. "You—you heartless brat. First my allowance, now my bike? What next? My dignity?"
Komachi smirked, feigning innocence. "Uh… do you even have any of that?"
Hikigaya let out a defeated sigh. "How could you hurt your lovely Onii-chan like this?" But before he could continue his complaints, Komachi had already started walking away, indifferent to his protests. With a groan, he ran to catch up with her.
Hikigaya glanced at her, her short frame bouncing along beside him with that same confident stride she always had. But there was something quieter in her eyes today, something she was clearly trying to hide.
"…Thanks for coming with me," he said softly, keeping his eyes on the path ahead.
"Huh? What for?" she asked with a raised brow, pretending not to know.
"I know today's your first day of School too Komachi. You didn't have to come."
Komachi shrugged it off like it was no big deal. "Of course I did, you dummy! If it's for you, I don't mind at all." Then, with a cheeky laugh, she added, "That must've earned me a ton of Komachi points, right?"
He didn't respond as his mind got lost in another thought.
He glanced at her again, holding the moment a little longer this time. For everything—for staying with him, for pulling him out of the dark when he'd lost himself, for still being that same annoying little sister who somehow kept him grounded.
But she must've caught the look on his face because she suddenly stopped, grinning up at him. "Alright! Before you get all weird and emotional Onii-chan, Let's take a one last selfie!"
He blinked. "What?"
"C'mon, one picture. It's a big day, right? You're finally going back to school now. A fresh start—with that weird uniform and your signature Hachiman smile—we've gotta capture the moment."
"…You're enjoying this way too much Komachi," he muttered, sighing in defeat as he reluctantly got into position.
Komachi whipped out her phone, holding it up between them. "Smile!"
He leaned in a little and gave that awkward, crooked smile he always had—a little too wide, a little too forced, but there was a gentleness to it this time.
Komachi tried to hold her cheerful expression, but the moment she saw his smile through her screen, her lips trembled and when she looked back up, her eyes were a little glossy.
"You know Onii-chan…" she said, trying to sound playful but her voice softer now. "Three years ago, when you left… for the detention center, I really thought you wouldn't come back."
He didn't say anything.
"And then… after everything… we barely got to see each other. And now you're leaving again. Just when it felt like I finally got you back."
He turned toward her, unsure of what to say. Something heavy settled in his chest.
"…Should I not go then? It's still not too late to go back home now."
Komachi shook her head quickly. "No! I mean… I want you to go. Really. You looked… I dunno, kind of okay lately. Not happy, but like, maybe you're starting to want something more again."
She stepped in front of him, voice more certain now.
"I just… I want you to try. Even if it's hard. Even if it sucks sometimes. Try to find something that makes you happy, okay?"
He lowered his head slightly, eyes flicking away. "I don't know if I can."
"Just promise you'll give it a try," she said, holding out her pinky.
He hesitated, glancing at her hand, then back at her face.
"…Alright. I'll try," he said quietly.
Their pinkies linked, a small but meaningful gesture. It was simple, yet it carried the weight of unspoken trust between them.
Then she smirked again, voice bouncing back to normal. "But if you screw up and turn into an even bigger weirdo, I'm not picking you up next time. I'll just say I don't know you."
"Great. Can't wait to be abandoned, then" he muttered.
As the train pulled into the platform, Komachi nudged him. "Oh, and one more thing."
"Hey… make sure you eat properly, okay?" she said, not looking directly at him. "And don't skip your meds. You always forget when no one's around to yell at you."
"And don't get into any weird trouble either," Komachi said with a small, forced smirk. "I won't be there to bail you out. You better come back in one piece."
"I'm not that hopeless," he muttered, sounding just a bit defensive.
She turned her eyes to him, a flicker of emotion shining through. "You kind of are, brother."
Hikigaya sighed deeply, shoving his hands into his pockets. "…I'll be fine."
"And I'll see you again in three years, okay?"
He turned to her and gave a crooked smile. "You make it sound like I'm going to prison."
"Well, with that kind of School rules, I wouldn't be surprised," she teased.
He chuckled, shaking his head. "I'll find a way to contact you from time to time. Maybe I'll send you a weird postcard or something."
"Alright you better do that then." She smiled again, but this time it was fragile, not quite reaching her eyes.
The train doors slid open behind him.
He hesitated for a moment. Then, slowly, he stepped inside.
Just before the doors closed, he turned to look back and heard her say, "Take care, Onii-chan." His voice, filled with sadness, replied softly to her, carrying all the emotion he couldn't hide.
Komachi was standing still, clutching the strap of her school bag tightly with both hands. She was still smiling—but barely. Her lips trembled a little, and her eyes were glistening. She wasn't crying yet, but she was close. Holding it back with everything she had.
Looking at her like that, trying so hard to smile, even his eyes started to sting. A few tears slipped out before he could stop them, but he quickly wiped them away. As the train began to move, he saw her waving both hands at him, smiling through her tears. He watched until she disappeared from view.
And as the train carried him farther away, one thought emerged in his mind "This Damn School better be worth our separation."