"Is this the underworld?"
Simu slowly opened his eyes to see an endless expanse of black and purple mist. The swirling fog emitted an extremely terrifying aura—cold, sinister, fearful, resentful... These were the emotions overwhelming Simu as countless negative feelings wrapped tightly around him.
"If this is hell, then where is the Bridge of Helplessness? What does Meng Po look like?"
Rather than showing fear, Simu displayed a hint of curiosity toward the unknown. After all, he was already dead—what more did he have to worry about? At worst, he could just die again.
Just as he prepared to step forward to search for these legendary landmarks, the surrounding mist suddenly surged violently, coalescing into a massive shadowy figure! The enormous, twisted silhouette defied description—Simu couldn't find any words to describe the grotesque mass before him.
His brow furrowed slightly as a dark red fissure abruptly split open across the shadow's center, exploding outward to reveal a crimson eye that materialized directly in front of Simu.
A violent, eerie gale followed, buffeting Simu where he stood. The wind was so powerful it distorted his entire body!
Turning his head, he saw an exact copy of his own face smiling back at him. Upon closer inspection, he realized with relief that it was just another head growing from his shoulder.
Relief? Hell no!
To make matters worse, when Simu tried to speak, he discovered his tongue had somehow relocated to his buttocks. A mouth formed on his abdomen, with multicolored intestines spilling out from its gaping maw.
His right hand held his left hand, which in turn held his left foot, followed by his right foot—resembling a centipede. His right foot's sole had become a nostril, stuffed with two eyeballs. Not one on each side, but two on one side, while his still-beating heart dangled from the other.
Well then... Even Simu was at a loss for words. Was this some new kind of hellish joke?
Fortunately, the condition lasted only a second before his body returned to normal.
Just as he sighed in relief, the ground beneath him cracked open, revealing an abyssal maw that nearly swallowed him whole.
"Kekekeke..."
"Who would have thought that after centuries, two people would arrive at once!"
"It seems the Ōtsutsuki's seal is finally weakening!"
The mention of "Ōtsutsuki" carried unmistakable fury in the giant mouth's voice.
Simu adjusted his glasses. Setting aside the clichéd "kekekeke," he deduced three key points from this statement:
First, he likely wasn't dead but had arrived in this mysterious place through some special means.
Second, someone else had arrived here before him.
Third, this terrifying entity before him had been sealed here centuries ago by beings called the Ōtsutsuki.
Fourth, this guy didn't seem particularly bright.
As expected, the massive shadow grew smug when Simu remained motionless, laughing again with its "kekekeke."
"Boy, scared stiff by the mighty Evil God, are you? Can't even move!"
Simu exhaled—so this was the Evil God?
Without hesitation, he placed a hand over his chest and bowed deeply. "Hail the almighty, most magnificent Evil God."
"Kekekeke!"
Just as Simu predicted, the Evil God was thoroughly pleased.
The giant mouth beneath Simu vanished, only to reappear beneath the crimson eye—not just one, but hundreds of mouths materializing simultaneously, creating a cacophony of echoing voices.
Perhaps thinking this made him more impressive, the Evil God spoke again: "Brat, what's your name?"
"I am Simu, great Evil God."
Simu answered instantly, his tone growing even more reverent. This demeanor made the Evil God nod approvingly—this kid was far better than that other dullard!
Like a hyperactive child, the Evil God's countless mouths suddenly sprouted eyeballs—thousands of eyes now fixed on Simu.
"Simu, was it? Tell me, will you join the Jashin cult? Offer blood sacrifices to help me break this seal and return to the shinobi world?"
As these words rang out, an interface appeared before Simu:
[The Evil God's Raising Simulator Activated!]
[Will you pledge faith to the Evil God?]
[Choose YES to gain ability: [Womb of the Creator].]
[Choose NO and—due to your exceptional looks—be spared death to become the Evil God's cherished concubine.]
Simu froze. While he considered himself quite twisted with unconventional tastes, he never expected the Evil God to swing that way too!
But choosing YES would mean this fine 21st-century youth would aid tyranny—which was absolutely...
Perfect!
His brief hesitation displeased the lofty Evil God. Black bubbles gurgled across its massive form—likely signs of irritation.
Seeing this, Simu immediately dropped to one knee, raising his hands like a fanatical believer:
"Great Evil God! I shall dedicate the entire shinobi world to you!"
"Kekekeke..."
Once again, the Evil God laughed in satisfaction. Compared to that other guy who only knew how to chant "kill kill kill," Simu was vastly superior.
What good was killing a few people?
This one promised the whole shinobi world!
Sensing the Evil God's delight, Simu smiled.
He didn't know what the Ōtsutsuki were, what the Jashin cult was, or what the shinobi world entailed—but that didn't stop him from making grand claims.
When it came to empty promises, he was an expert! With years of experience, what kind of pie hadn't he eaten (or baked)? This was child's play!
Clearly, the Evil God—sealed for centuries—had never encountered such delicious bait before. It was utterly enchanted.
"Good, good! In that case, I grant you immortality and the Dead Controlling Possession Blood technique."
"With these, you should be invincible!"
Simu's eyes lit up. Not only did he get the system's reward, but the Evil God's gifts too!
Truly an eye-opening experience.
Under the Evil God's power, dark mist flooded into Simu's body. He could feel every inch of himself transforming.
Just as Simu immersed himself in these wondrous changes, the Evil God suddenly stopped.
"Is something wrong, great Evil God?" Simu asked respectfully.
"Well... you see..."
"Let's stop here today. You've got immortality—we'll do Death Controlling Possession Blood next time."
Simu detected a tone resembling a married man past thirty struggling to keep up with his wife's advances.
Though disappointed, Simu knew when to quit while ahead.
"Thank you for your generosity, great Evil God. I swear to deliver the shinobi world to you!"
The dark mist swirled again.
"Kekekeke, alright, off you go."
"The day my seal breaks shall mark the shinobi world's descent into dark rule!"
"Yes!"
After Simu vanished, the shadowy mass muttered quietly:
"Shouldn't have given Hidan so much power. This Simu seems perfect—a natural-born lackey."
"Tsk tsk, offering the whole shinobi world... How delightful."
"Gurgle gurgle gurgle..."
"Kekekeke..."