I didn't think I could still feel shame.
I'd been deep in the goonhole for years — numb to guilt, immune to disgust, surviving off hentai and half-empty bottles of lotion.
But even I was embarrassed... when I realized I had been jerking off in front of a maid for ten full minutes.
And she didn't stop me.
She just stood there, blushing, biting her lip, holding a basin of warm water like it was completely normal for her young master to be going full five-finger fury first thing in the morning.
"You must calm your yang energy, Master," she finally said, stepping closer. "You're leaking spiritual essence."
She was right. My balls felt like they were being wrung out by the heavens themselves.
I groaned, half in pain, half in pure, throat-clenching pleasure. "I… I can't stop…"
The maid placed the basin on the bed. Then, to my horror — and arousal — she knelt. Not to pray. Not to beg. But to reach under the covers and grab me.
"Let me help guide your cultivation," she whispered.
I thought I came right there, but nope. My new body was built different.
Stronger. Harder. Hornier.
She started pumping, slow and rhythmic. Like she'd been trained for this.
My head hit the pillows. My eyes rolled back.
Every stroke sent waves of power through me.
[You have activated: Path of Pleasure Cultivation (Unranked).]
[Your Pleasure Qi is increasing…]
[Breakthrough imminent.]
Wait, what?
A system message floated in front of me. My vision blurred as the orgasm hit — not just physical, but spiritual. I felt like my soul nutted.
My entire meridian system lit up.
My dantian pulsed.
Pleasure Qi flooded through me like a tsunami of hot, sticky enlightenment.
[Congratulations. You have reached: Gooner Foundation Realm (Stage 1).]
I came.
Loud.
Like a beast.
The maid took it all. Smiling. Eyes dazed. Lips glistening.
I collapsed.
Naked. Sweaty.
But empowered.
"Master," she gasped. "Your yang energy… it's terrifying…"
I sat up, panting. "What's your name?"
She blushed. "Lan'er, Master."
"Lan'er… are there more like you?"
She nodded. "You're in the House of Lustful Clouds. It's a minor branch of the Heavenly Jade Grotto Sect. Our job is to serve young masters like you… those born with the Pleasure Demon Physique."
I blinked. "That's a thing?"
"Yes. It's incredibly rare. Most who have it… die from overindulgence before reaching their first breakthrough. But you… you broke through on your first release."
I looked down at myself. My junk was glowing faintly. My hands were twitching. I was still hard.
Still gooning.
Still ready for round two.
"Tell me about cultivation," I said. "This world's rules. I need to understand my path."
Lan'er nodded and stood, still flushed. "Cultivators absorb spiritual energy through meditation, battle, or—" she glanced at my erection, "—dual cultivation. Those with rare physiques, like yours, gain power through… pleasure."
"So if I jerk off—"
"You grow stronger. But you'll grow even faster if you dual cultivate. That's why you must be careful. If you lose control, you may fall into Qi Deviation… or worse."
I rubbed my temples. "And where's this Heavenly Jade Grotto?"
"Far in the east. Across the Azure Mist Mountains."
I stood, wobbling slightly. My legs were weak, but my soul was vibrating.
I needed to get there.
I needed more.
More maids.
More sect girls.
More milk-thirsty MILFs with triple S-cups and tight qipaos.
If my d**k was my sword, then I was going to fap my way to immortality.
"What's the next step in cultivation?" I asked.
Lan'er bit her lip. "You must refine your Pleasure Qi and learn a proper technique. The Pleasure Sutra has nine volumes, each unlocking a different level of goon-based power…"
"Where's the first volume?"
She hesitated. "It's sealed in the Lust Trial Pagoda, just outside the city. Only those who can last an entire day without releasing may enter."
My goonbrain screeched in protest.
No nut for 24 hours?
Impossible.
But I was going to try.
I needed that technique.
I needed to level up.
And most importantly…
I needed to f**k.