Chapter 1: The Awakening
Violently, I was drawn in by a jagged gasp—"Hmph... Hmphhh!"
My eyelids parted painfully, lining my eyes with a dark kohl of agony, as I beheld this void as black as a tomb.
I had awoken after sixty light-years.
Sixty years I spent in the world of dreams; a simple life, clear goals.
She is still waiting for my return. Yet I reject her... or perhaps it was never truly my choice.
I had been riding a bull shackled by chains of emotion.
Each chain bore a purpose, binding me to its weight with duty!
I breathed once more, my head tilting slowly... I leaned on my knees with my arm, clutching my head as regret twisted my insides, and breath choked in my lungs!
Years I had clenched on the bridle of time, suppressing desires until I strayed from the righteous path, restraining my pain until my insides were shattered.
I once had many dreams and ambitions I longed to fulfill—but they were torn apart by the nearest shadows.
Shadows that claimed to be nurturing guardians, the final sanctuary in a hellish world ruled by demons.
"Why did it have to happen that way?"
In that world, where nothing existed but the worship of hierarchical sanctity and programmed obedience—from the first takbir to the final prostration and glorification... Not to God, but to humans, jinn, and everything except true majesty and holiness!
I rose with difficulty, as though wearing the very hypocrisy of that world. I shook my head in annoyance... Three months of deep slumber had made me crave destruction in this suffocating womb of darkness. I had reached my fury!
Time here flows too quickly compared to the sixty years I spent alone within that dream... I feel like the only one whose noose tightens with every turn. It's laughable, really...
I began to walk, my steps heavy with sorrow and the evil that danced inside me.
To have all your suffering condensed into a moment of entertainment for others...
Even the final episode of your life may be nothing more than a spectacle that triggers vomit, or a sermon that wakes a dreamer, or perhaps a rebellious page challenging a world that plucks fresh heads at a whim... But none of that matters.
What does is this: must my life vanish just to build a bridge for others to cross?
"Hah~" I exhaled in exhaustion, hiding my face in my palm, recalling a sermon once told by a wise man—a man who was burned alive for stealing a piece of candy!
I was deeply moved… then quickly found it laughable. A tiny candy—could it really be reason enough for your head to fly?
Ever since, I began hiding my hands beneath the bull's rear.
What sort of greatness could possibly emerge from there?
I laughed weakly within, realizing the absurdity of that image.
What a tragic state of affairs!
I wiped my trembling fingers across the ceiling of this void as if scrubbing away the filth.
All I could feel was a sense of protection—or what some might call "responsibility."
Yes, responsibility—that subtle conspiracy cloaked in duty, which leads only to eternal servitude.
I smiled... or at least I think I did, then screamed: "WATA!!"
I punched the ceiling of the void—shaped like the mask of Janunu—with force.
It still withstood my fists for the nine-hundred-and-ninetieth time...
The disturbing part? It grew thicker each time, as if testing my patience with its silence—then consuming me with its fabricated rage?
A mask that has followed me even outside the dream realm, like a curse chained to my soul.
"Damn it!" It feels as though my fist is met with a fiercer one... and yet, somehow, I heard a faint buzz brushing against my ears...
Am I imagining this?
"WATA!" Another punch to ease my heart.
"Zzzzz!" I was right—this spot carries a sound that pierces the cursed silence!
I began to launch my fists upward with precision... I want that sound to reach my ears!
"Nine-hundred and ninety-eight... ninety-nine..."
A crushing weight gripped my bleeding hand, then—
"One thousand!" I hurled my hand recklessly.
Nothing matters anymore. I will either rise above your heads—or summon a storm to uproot you from the soil!
"TAKZ!!" Finally!
I saw radiant cracks blossom across the surface like a thorned beehive...
I just pray that darkness isn't only the beginning.
Light pulsed through the fissures, and shadows fell behind the vibrant glow, dancing like threads weaving a life unlike the one that stung me like a wasp.
I quickly shielded my eyes—direct light might be harmful at this stage.
Yet my curiosity burned to see this new world!
I hesitantly moved my hand away and looked up...
Shut my eyes tightly, then opened them again.
Had I gone mad?!
I gripped the jagged edges of the darkness and pulled myself out with great struggle, into a world that played the melody of a life I had never known before.
I lay beneath a shimmering canopy like diamond, as delicate raindrops began to fall.
I opened my eyes slowly—everything looked like a dream...
There, a sun gleamed from the heart of a cloudy rose.
Its petals were full, coursing with spectral veins like noble blood.
It grew like a calm storm, amidst a sky as blue as purified water—reflecting everything beneath it like a mirror.
I sat back, planting my hands behind me, fingers splayed.
My eyes remained fixed on the sky.
"Sooo~" The breeze pulled at my hair, scented with basil, mint, and springtime.
I narrowed one eye—my hair danced in the wind...
But then—"Zzzzzzzziii!" That buzzing returned.
It came closer and closer, until I felt it was emerging from my very own peaceful heart.
Suddenly, a streak of pulsing red shot toward me like lightning from another thread of existence, and the image became clear.
"Bees... Red bees?!"
My awareness lagged behind comprehension.
Suddenly, a swarm engulfed me, circling around and through me.
They didn't sting, yet the yellow glow of their stingers was unsettling.
I wanted to crawl back into the darkness.
I didn't want to suffer a different kind of pain—every color brings its own torment.
And this one… this one might challenge the limits of my endurance.
Yet my mind was pinned between awareness and wonder.
Is this salvation—or merely another trial… in the color of blood?
To be continued...